Please help us, Pierre is a bully

[u/ReadyLab5110]

[u/GrapefruitForward196]

Do you accept the common knowledge that pasta is without ketchup and pineapple? In case yes, we will let you know shortly, don't hang up

[u/smackdealer1 → u/GrapefruitForward196]

Wait I'm sorry pineapple in pasta?!?

[u/TheDucksAreComingoOo → u/smackdealer1]

I mean, there are war crimes, and then there are 'war crimes'

[u/Bragzor → u/GrapefruitForward196]

Pasta Hawaii 🤤

[u/ReadyLab5110 → u/GrapefruitForward196]

No Pineapples fine, but if you knew dutch tomatos you‘d understand that using ketchup is necessary to add any kind of flavour to those waterbombs

[u/GrapefruitForward196 → u/ReadyLab5110]

You are officially refused from the GCAP program. Congratulations 🎉, it wasn't easy

[u/sisali]

Give us those fancy sausages, and we will think about it, best we can do Hans.

[u/11matt95 → u/sisali]

Get the ingredients list for the curry powder they use for curry wurst too!

[u/generalscruff → u/11matt95]

It's the proper basic curry powder you can get in any supermarket if you're actually interested

We got the recipe so long ago that I once read the concept came about from the curry powder issued to squaddies in the war and ensuing occupation of Germany

[u/InanimateAutomaton → u/generalscruff]

It’s true. They initially used Worcestershire sauce as well.

Worth bringing up next time Hans brings up the food thing.

[u/previously_on_earth → u/11matt95]

Why do we want German Sausages, they are the wurst

[u/Ballsackavatar → u/sisali]

Sausage party 🥳

[u/NancyPelosisRedCoat → u/sisali]

Is this a euphemism?

I’m in either case, just curious.

[u/sisali → u/NancyPelosisRedCoat]

Dead serious, I'm starving and one call to Kier and you guys are in, leave it to me.

[u/Meamier → u/sisali]

Deal

[u/Pretend_Cell_5200]

*Flygsystem 2020 noices

[u/ReadyLab5110 → u/Pretend_Cell_5200]

I‘m interested where can i send application?

[u/Pretend_Cell_5200 → u/ReadyLab5110]

Just call Maria Stenergard, she will be overjoyed that someone calls about something that is not related to Israel-Palestine.

[u/WedgeBahamas]

Meanwhile, we are fucked. No F35 because fuck Trump, no FCAS because those two clowns can't agree...

Time to develop Autogiro de la Cierva 2000.

[u/InanimateAutomaton]

This is the problem with European unity - it’s easier for us to work with a country on the opposite side of the world than it is to work with our closest neighbours.

We know the French are hard to work with, but the Germans also fucked us about big time on the EF.

[u/Bagheera29200]

Please UK, take Germany with you 🙏 they are the perfect partner:

-they will ask for the IP of all the companies involved for free.

-add randomly some countries to get more and more weight in the project breaking the balance of the initial 2017 deal.

-they will block your exports when it please them.

-they will block the development of the aircraft carrier and nuclear bomb capacities even if you stated these two critical points from the beginning of the project.

And more importantly they will putt all the blame on you for that !

France is ok to pay you 10€ in ticket restaurant to ease their application process to the GCAP program.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

[u/Jazzlike-Mistake2764 → u/Bagheera29200]

-they will block the development of the aircraft carrier and nuclear bomb capacities

Getting a country without an aircraft carrier to pay to develop a carrier jet was always a bit of an odd move

[u/fabiK3A → u/Jazzlike-Mistake2764]

Getting a country without an aircraft carrier to pay to develop a carrier jet was always a bit of an odd move

Thankfully there is an easy fix for that

[u/Bagheera29200 → u/Jazzlike-Mistake2764]

We made it clear that we'll pay for that but still they block for the pleasure of blocking.

How did you enjoy the recent sales of Eurofighter with Turkey ? Smooth innit?

[u/Jazzlike-Mistake2764 → u/Bagheera29200]

Honestly you’re both pretty stupid for wanting to work with each other

[u/Bagheera29200 → u/Jazzlike-Mistake2764]

I fully agree

[u/Tinysaur → u/Bagheera29200]

You wanna go halves on a Lasagne ?

[u/Wassertopf → u/Bagheera29200]

What is a Ticket Restaurant?

[u/enz_levik → u/Wassertopf]

Pocket money that you can only spend to buy food (with some limits)

[u/Salex_01 → u/enz_levik]

Only 25€/day and not on sundays or public hollidays.
Basically that was the governemt making a mechanism to mimic lowering taxes for companies without actually lowering taxes that only serves to prevent people from doing what they want with their salary while saving about 25€/month/employee for the companies.

[u/Wassertopf → u/Salex_01]

Ah, we have a very similar thing here in Germany.

And I think the main company that issues these food vouchers is Edenred, which belongs to Accor, a French company.

[u/Bragzor → u/Bagheera29200]

Bro, I don't want to alarm you, but you might have a virus on your computer that swaps "Germany" and "France" in texts.

[u/Bagheera29200 → u/Bragzor]

Hey bro 👋

Read again and you will see your logic don't apply if you have a minimum of honesty.

I don't remember Germany having its own nuclear bomb or its own aircraft carrier. Germany don't have the IP to develop an aircraft on their own. We don't block any export. Actually we are even accused to export to sensitive customers. I don't remember France adding countries to rebalance the project in our favour.

I know it's trendy and easy to put the blame on France so we won't waste our time to further convince you.

[u/Bragzor → u/Bagheera29200]

It's a joke, mon frere. And they say Germans are the ones with the 'tism… Still, it's not just trendy, it's factually correct that international cooperations involving France usually fails because France can't compromise.

 

No, Germany doesn't have carriers, so why would they want the severe compromises that come with making a plane carrier compatible? No, they don't have nuclear bombs either, so why would they want to make their fighter jets into a bomber planes? I can kinda see why France couldn't compromise one those things, but that's my point.

[u/Bagheera29200 → u/Bragzor]

The nuclear bomb and aircraft carrier capacities for France are pretty obvious and we stated that from the beginning before the initial deal was signed in 2017. Why is it now a problem for the germs ? They thought we will abandon our nuclear program , destroy the Charles de Gaulle while cancelling the PANG ?

[u/DivideSensitive → u/Bragzor]

It's a joke, mon frere. And they say Germans are the ones with the 'tism…

JoKeS oN tHeM

[u/Bragzor → u/DivideSensitive]

No, you're right, I was obviously deadly serious about my worries that it was a computer-virus that made them write that mess of a projection…

 

P.s. the Board has decided to revoke your license to use that image due to gross misuse. You must surrender all copies you possess before the next evaluation in October.

P.p.s This is not a joke.

[u/Lungenbroetchen95 → u/Bagheera29200]

Hon hon hon

Dassault are arrogant pricks whose jets get shot down by Temu rockets. They literally demand all the IP from the German side while refusing to give back their own.

Anyway, good luck financing this stuff on your own.

[u/Bagheera29200 → u/Lungenbroetchen95]

Please tell us how you'll get the F35's IP through your recent F35 purchase?

And for our financial situation : don't worry for us honey, we've been there for the last 1000 years and we'll be there for the next 1000 years.

Also we already started looking ( under the radar 🥷 ) for other partners so we won't have to finance it on our own.

[u/symptomezz → u/Bagheera29200]

What partners are you looking for? European Rafale customers lol?

[u/ReadyLab5110 → u/Bagheera29200]

 Also we already started looking ( under the radar 🥷 ) for other partners so we won't have to finance it on our own.

Literally no one wants to work with dassault

Edit. I got the french crowd upset

[u/Deadluss → u/Lungenbroetchen95]

Wasn't this Rafale literally without A2A missiles and with bombs only? Idk if it's true but I heard that somewhere.

Btw Hans what Air to air missiles do you produce?

[u/Lungenbroetchen95 → u/Deadluss]

IRIS-T, the best air 2 air missile in the world, thanks for asking.

[u/Deadluss → u/Lungenbroetchen95]

Man, I didn't know that IRIS-T can perform air to air combat

Not gonna lie I'm impressed

[u/Gammelpreiss → u/Deadluss]

it was initially developed for that role. look it up, there is an interesting story behind it

[u/rotciv0 → u/Deadluss]

"My source is that I made it the fuck up"

[u/DeeJayDelicious → u/Bagheera29200]

Cope

[u/Simoxs7]

I think we should make our own fighter jet, with blackjack, and hookers!

[u/python168 → u/Simoxs7]

Hookers ?

We request to join the project

[u/Bragzor]

When will you learn? You can't cooperate with France on equal terms, you can only be a subordinate. Their egos won't allow it, nor their doctrine.

[u/porkmarkets → u/Bragzor]

We are the only ones to do it successfully because our aura is unmatched. Concorde and Jaguar being the best examples.

[u/Bragzor → u/porkmarkets]

For every Concord, there's an ECF.

[u/Tinysaur → u/Bragzor]

ECF

What the hells the English Chess Federation got to do with anything ?

[u/Bragzor → u/Tinysaur]

They tried to cooperate with the FCF, and the latter took over completely. All ECF meetings are held in French now.

[u/FIP1245 → u/Bragzor]

So everything better then

[u/Bragzor → u/FIP1245]

Well, it couldn't get worse, so presumably.

[u/The_Real_GRiz → u/Bragzor]

We cooperated quite well under vichy ! Wait...

Seriously though we had great experience working with the UK on missiles and Italy on the FREMM. Did we have cooperation issues with any country other than Germany?

[u/Bragzor → u/The_Real_GRiz]

Oh, I don't think anyone is doubting that France had a great experience. The problem with Germany is that they don't know to pull out in time.

[u/The_Real_GRiz → u/Bragzor]

They should use condom then

[u/135686492y4 → u/The_Real_GRiz]

Did we have cooperation issues with any country other than Germany?

The Eurofighter debacle

[u/symptomezz → u/The_Real_GRiz]

It’s almost like the problem is not the French in general but more a single annoying company with an even more annoying CEO

[u/FIP1245 → u/symptomezz]

Here the deal, you give me the money and I buy Dassault and rename it BTTY (Better Than The Yanks). Good deal no ?

[u/Jazzlike-Mistake2764]

We would be happy to offer you the prestigious position of “customer”

[u/Tinysaur → u/Jazzlike-Mistake2764]

Only if they promise to use it on London

[u/Hans_A]

Pff, we build our own planes, with blackjack and hookers

[u/MarcLeptic]

20%. best we can do.

[u/Hakunin_Fallout]

*Angry Stuka noises*

[u/Drache191200]

As a German, Better idea

Let's just throw these filthy Pierres out, why they wanna do? Attack us with their Shirt Rafael's?