Beating cancer twice helped me face my food aversions

[u/snickerssq]

Hello everyone! Just a quick introduction, I’m a 23 year old woman who has struggled with avoidant/restrictive eating since 6-7. I recognize now especially that my main issue was with different textures. My mom even told me that as a baby I had a hard time with the chunky baby food stage but I did also choke on a specific food when I was around kindergarten aged and that’s when I personally recognize I started avoiding certain foods. I ate pretty poorly throughout my childhood but didn’t have any nutritional deficiency, just on the thinner side. I completely avoided vegetables, most meat (chicken tenders/nuggets,specific cold deli meat were okay) any cheese other than mozzarella, all other dairy products other than milk, eggs, soups, sauces, rice, beans. I’d only eat one specific type of sandwich bread and the only two sandwiches I’d eat were PBJ and grilled cheese. All other sandwiches felt like too much. I would eat hotdogs but they had to be cut up and I’d eat the bun on its own. I didn’t like my food touching unless it made sense to touch, like spaghetti and meatless marinara sauce. I did like some fruit, but it was mostly applesauce, green apples, green grapes, and watermelon when it was in season. Depending on how I was feeling, my mom could get me to eat cantaloupe. Dinner for me as a kid looked like goldfish, a slab of turkey, applesauce, and a cheese stick. Whenever my mom would try and get me to eat something different, I’d clench my fists and sit there anxious (before I knew what anxiety was) until she let me leave the table.

When I was 15, I was diagnosed with cancer for the first time. During that period, I was starting to get a bit better with my eating, but mostly was sticking to my safe foods because my appetite was impacted. I initially beat it the first time and my eating habits very slowly became better but I still would barely see a vegetable on my plate. It definitely geared more towards comfort foods like pancakes for example. Yes, I didn’t start eating pancakes until I was 17 lol.

At 21, I found out my cancer had relapsed. I was mentally devastated in the beginning but I got through two years of treatment and I’m now in remission again and almost done with preventative radiation :) Here’s where my ARFID comes into play. In the last few month I’ve introduced chicken tacos, ground turkey, rice, quinoa!, just about every basic vegetable, more fruits, yogurt, avocados, and a lot of foods I once said I’d never try. Those were raw tomatoes, mushrooms, olives, bananas, vegetables mixed with quinoa/rice. I still feel like I have a way to go, but it just suddenly feels so much easier to try new foods and eat better. I don’t know if anyone else can relate to a potentially traumatic event causing you to let go of some of your restrictive behaviors. I’ve only really seen it make them worse. Thank you for taking the time to reach this if you reached the end!

[u/benbess2]

I am so happy for you, and happy to hear that change is possible!