r/AbruptChaos • u/gamma-ray-bursts • 9d ago

Spider in Australia.

462 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

113 comments sorted by

149

u/phido3000 9d ago

I'm pretty sure the spiders do this on purpose. They see people coming at them, and at the last minute move, FAST.

There are some fast things in the world. But none of them is as fast as a huntsman runninng. Hearing those little hairy feet slamming across the walls as they run is absolutely unreal.

113

u/samurairaccoon 9d ago

Hearing those little hairy feet slamming across the walls as they run is absolutely unreal.

I'm not a person that's usually afraid of spiders but pardon me what the fuck lol?

182

u/phido3000 9d ago

Yeh, it's a thing. A night, you hear them. You can hear them during the day and with the light on, but you can see them, so you know what is causing the noise. But at night with your eyes closed, you just hear their feet running across the plasterboard.

So you get up and turn the light on.. And... Nothing. You can't see them, they hide too well, in your curtains, in your bedsheets. In nature they hide under the bark of gum trees, so love to find perfect hiding spots to hide their massive bodies. Behind a clock, behind a lamp... in a book. In cars, under your sun visor or in your door handle.

So you get back into bed... And then here the patter of not so tiny feet. They are big and fast... They can run in to the other side of the room in about 1 second. 5 meters per second.. They don't build webs, they run their prey down, like a cheetah. They eat cockroaches, so imagine something big enough and fast enough to run down a cockroach.

Now imagine its hot. Hotter and humid than you have ever been.. 110F and 80% humidity.. at night. No A.C.. And a couple of these guys chasing bugs in your bedroom. Your 5 years old.. Life is different....

104

u/DannyDerZeh 8d ago

Not even H.P. Lovecraft could have come up with such horrors beyond human comprehension

22

u/Wolfsbreedsinner 8d ago

Jesus, it was such a great read. Someone hire that man.

30

u/xshevi 8d ago edited 8d ago

LOL are you for fucking real? you can hear a huntsman spider walk? maybe you got bitten by one and your spider senses are tingling 🤣 i’m gonna google “what does a walking huntsman spider sound like” right now

i stand corrected and mortified

11

u/vodafine 8d ago

not always (depends how big they are) but if they fall off the wall / roof and hit the floor you can hear a loud thud and then they scurry away

10

u/phido3000 8d ago

Why don't people believe Australians?

But huntsman are friendy spiders. They have their own personalities, and people let them crawl on they hands and arms.. you name and protect them if they are in your house.

Plus they eat crockroaches and keep other spiders away..

It feels great to have connections to native wild animals. Live with the animals, don't destroy them..

5

u/ThanatosIdle 8d ago

I have heard a very large wolf spider move along a tile floor. After a certain size you can hear insects move. I mean, they all make sounds they're just below your level of hearing usually.

5

u/guitarromantic 4d ago

That link is staying blue.

2

u/CriticalKnoll 5d ago

Nope! If only you could have seen the reaction I had to seeing that clip. I was laying in bed and my whole body jumped a good inch up in pure horror. FUCK THAT.

1

u/Rossomak 8d ago

Man, all of these years of playing videogames with giant spider enemies and they always use the same kind of "creepy spider leg" noise. I'm sorry, but seeing those legs move that fast with the heavy sound of all of those feets hitting a solid surface is way scarier. Imagine playing a a scary game and all of the sudden you hear a terrifyingly fast "thud thud thud" and turn around and see eight legs flailing towards you at an ungodly speed (whatever 5 meters per second scaled up with the size of the spider would be).

Actually, nevermind, that would be too scary.

30

u/scudbook 9d ago

There's absolutely no fucking way I'm sleeping in a room hearing that. This is nightmare fuel. 

24

u/sir_conington 8d ago

I mean yeah it sounds bad but they are literally harmless to humans and they aren't aggressive.My Dad used to call them all Barry.

Also they eat flies and mosquitoes which annoy the fucking shit out of me, so as far as I'm concerned huntsman's are okay by me. If I see a redback or a whitetail though, completely different story... I'll find the biggest shoe I can find and annihilate them instantly

5

u/ToxicEggs 8d ago

“Oi oi oi wallaby don’t be screamin at ol Barry” is my new favorite thing that happened that I didn’t just make up

2

u/Kurainuz 8d ago

So huntsman for you are kinda like ungly armored cats?

4

u/phido3000 8d ago

They are kinda like cats in that they come and go as they please.. kill insects and pests.

In Australia you make lots of animal friends.

10

u/skmtyk 8d ago

I'm not even in Australia and I'm scared to sleep now 😭😭😭😭😭

13

u/Strykehammer 8d ago

Aussie here, David the huntsman says g’day, he’s a good cunt. Don’t be afraid, it’s the little bastards that worry you

2

u/supercodes83 4d ago

David the Cuntsman

4

u/BunBunny55 8d ago

Peak horror right here.

3

u/xaiel420 8d ago

Unwrite this horror

3

u/Wolf_instincts 8d ago

How does literally anyone survive Australia

2

u/SithLordMilk 8d ago

Jesus god almighty

2

u/Budiltwo 7d ago

god damnit I was just about to go to bed

2

u/Weizenboy 4d ago

This post was sponsored by the Australian Tourism Authority.

1

u/Bloedbek 8d ago

I try not to disturb the spiders in my home, because they're eating pests that are actually annoying. If I'd be hearing them hunt, I would quickly change my stance on that.

1

u/Dismal_Wizard 8d ago

Reckon I’ll give up on the idea of emigrating. I mean the sharks are bad enough, but you’re not even safe in your own bed!

1

u/mikeonbass 7d ago

In...

Your....

Bedsheets...

2

u/phido3000 7d ago

They like to hide between layers.. like layers of bark on a tree, gum trees shed their bark all the time more than they shed leaves. So they live in the tight fitting bark of a tree.

Your bed sheet/covers are layers..

Huntsman aren't deadly. But jesus, they sure know how to give you a fright.

Google image search the following:

  • Huntsman in doorhandle
  • Huntsman in bed
  • Huntsman in powerpoint
  • Huntsman in hiding in car
  • Huntsman in toilet roll holder

1

u/3_14_thon 6d ago

i may be ignorant but it sounds like the problem here are the food source, get rid of the bugs and you wont have them huntsman

3

u/phido3000 6d ago

They come in from outside. In summer they start breeding. They can fit in under doors etc.

Australia hasn't nuked all its bugs with pesticides like Europe and the US have. There is still fragmentary whole ecosystems in play.

But as its been mentioned. Australians love huntsmen... They are your friend.

7

u/Getdownlikesyndrome 9d ago

The females are louder than the males. Heavier abdomen. 

6

u/Koseoglu-2X4B-523P 8d ago

One day I was laying on the couch, studying. I thought I heard something shuffling across my floor. So I looked in the direction the sound came from and there walked a big Eratigena male.

I was amazed I had HEARD a spider walk across my floor.

1

u/Fast_Muscle_2987 6d ago

I’m out

2

u/ThanatosIdle 8d ago

They'll remain still until you touch them. Once they register feeling on the leg hairs all bets are off. Her problem was her feeble slow movement of the container. You have to move the container over in one swift motion, not the super slow wobbly hand method.

She also had no plan afterwards. Ok, you have the container over the spider on the wall. NOW WHAT? I don't see a flat thing to slide under in her other hand. She's just going to balance like that holding it on the wall for how long?

1

u/SteamerTheBeemer 8d ago

Flies are pretty fast bro.

0

u/phido3000 8d ago

A fly can walk at about 8 kmph. Hunstmen can move at like 20 kmph. So unless its flying around.. yummy..

They aren't web builders tho. We have giant orb spiders that eat birds in webs here..

56

u/NotTukTukPirate 9d ago edited 9d ago

I've always said, when I lived in Australia it wasn't the big bugs/spiders you had to worry about, it was the small ones.

The big ones you can avoid, the small ones end up in your bedsheets, biting your toe and liquifying your muscle tissue at 3am and then disappearing in the room for the next hostel roommate to deal with.

1

u/WeBeWinners 9d ago

Wt... can they teleport to other countries? 😑

81

u/h3dee 9d ago

Huntsman, a harmless house spider that eats flies and mosquitoes and harmful spiders.

33

u/AcydFart 9d ago

begs the question... how large are the mosquitoes and flies in Australia?

22

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

5

u/Koseoglu-2X4B-523P 8d ago

Tennis ball maybe.

5

u/iheartkriek 9d ago

Free pest control. It saddens me when people kill them.

6

u/BKStephens 8d ago

The best of house mates. Kills and eats any other bug/spider/crawly in the place without leaving webs and shit about the place.

The best of house mates.

1

u/FellsHollow 8d ago

I probably wouldn't mind but I don't want that thing crawling in my bed or clothes or anything. So, I'll still remove it.

2

u/h3dee 8d ago

And by dong so you make space for smaller, more dangerous and hidden Australian spiders to increase their range into your bedroom.

23

u/Blixnstraten 9d ago

Similar thing happened to me last night, I was watching TV and one about half this size started crawling around the living room ceiling.

I know they're chill but I didn't want it jumping on me so I stood up, waved my arms around a little (did nothing) then I blew some air at it so it jumped off the ceiling and landed on the couch so I decided that was a good time to go to bed.

8

u/The1stMedievalMe 9d ago

I knew it was coming, and I still flinched.

8

u/Rockedrd 9d ago

Huntsman likely wondering why the human is trying to capture it with the same Gladware container itself uses to keeps prey fresh until feeding.

7

u/WillyMonty 9d ago

That’s a huntsman spider - you want to leave them there so they eat pests

23

u/banti51 9d ago

We should take off, nuke the whole site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure

20

u/another_random_bit 9d ago

Yeah and after the credits roll you realize the spider is in there with you.

4

u/AcydFart 9d ago

i prefer the term, artificial person, myself

1

u/baldheadedmanc 8d ago

In your popcorn.

1

u/MadJockMcMad 8d ago

Game over man

1

u/banti51 8d ago

What the Hell are we supposed to use, man, harsh language?

6

u/ObliviousRounding 9d ago

We're gonna need a bigger box.

4

u/Telepathic_Toe 8d ago

It's a huntsman, pretty much a pet. They eat the poisonous things and just chill out in the corner. Literally.

21

u/Sharp-Statistician44 9d ago

It's a huntsman spider, they're harmless, leave it alone and it will leave you alone.

74

u/Which-Technician2367 9d ago

Brother, I just don’t know if I’m down for an unexpected roommate that is 38% the size of a chihuahua.

6

u/thorkun 8d ago

Yeah I'm all for leaving spiderbros alone, but when they're the size of my fucking hand that's where I draw the line. I didn't ask for a pet thank you very much.

3

u/halucionagen-0-Matik 9d ago

I'd rather that dude over a dozen flies any day of the week. He's basically free pest control

25

u/Rosulm 9d ago

I'd have a thousand flies land on my face before that thing falls from the ceiling on my face.

31

u/WinterattheWindow 9d ago

I think you're confusing information with comfort.

Just like how you can't tell someone having a panic attack 'hey, there's no danger, snap out of it', it's useless to tell someone with a fear of spiders that 'they are harmless'. It's just not how the body works.

4

u/Useful-Fun2179 9d ago

Thank you!!!!!!!

7

u/Entirely-of-cheese 9d ago

Yep. Docile as hell. If you’ve managed to piss one off enough to get bitten it hurts but not venomous. I still catch them and put them out as there are household members who have the phobia.

2

u/iridescentblip 8d ago

They are not harmless to the message my eyes give my nervous system.

2

u/disco_dean 9d ago

And they eat all your bugs and other spiders

3

u/brianinohio 9d ago

If spiders really freak you out that much, don't try to catch them in a bowl....lol

3

u/Camo_tow 9d ago

Use a vacuum

10

u/NitroWing1500 9d ago

Use a shotgun

Fixed that mispelling for you.

3

u/mariogolf 8d ago

use a vacuum

2

u/KingHyena_ 8d ago

I will never step foot in Australia. Spotted a giant house spider (4 in) ducking into my couch cushions and haven’t sat there in a week. Fuck August

2

u/carthuscrass 8d ago

She's not gonna hurt you. It's the ones you don't notice until it's too late that are a real danger.

I'm in the US and we get both brown recluses and black widows in my area. A brown recluse can fit in almost anything...even between the pages of a book. It's wise here to beat your shoes out before putting them on.

2

u/haplessclerk 8d ago

Aw, that's just a little one.

2

u/Ok_Tangelo_3052 7d ago

Looks like it's mate is hiding in the light fixture over her head.

3

u/8InS4nE8 9d ago

No Chaos! Just stupid.

3

u/satanic-octopus 9d ago

Ahh he's fine. Just a li'l friend to eat the mosquitoes

1

u/Reasonable-Box5125 9d ago

que lindo legging !

1

u/Yodawithboobs 9d ago

AAAAAAHhh always the fucking screams

1

u/geniusgravity 9d ago

My godfather moved to Aus and described the huntsman as a good housemate. You'll feel a bit grog if it bites you, but it useful to have around.

1

u/Herps_Plants_1987 9d ago

That’s the very least of their concerns they’ll soon learn. Browns and big male Roos to name a couple from many.

1

u/L3s0 9d ago

This is why I'm never going to Australia

1

u/DasterdlyDave 8d ago

Can you pick them up?

1

u/King_KZA 8d ago

That was never going to work because how was she going to cover it? Did that to herself if you ask me

1

u/FScrotFitzgerald 8d ago

This one's not even that big!

I will concede that I don't like it when it's Mum huntsman surrounded by 200 of her babies. But otherwise they're just cats for goths.

1

u/Jupiter-Bear 8d ago

Just blow on it, they tend to run and hide. as long as its not on your mattress, learnt that the hard way

1

u/SteamerTheBeemer 8d ago

lol. And in this country (UK) we have the same reaction to normal sized fuckers that can’t even bite you. Man. The problem is they’re dangerous but they’re also too big to really kill.

Like if you killed it with an electric bat or something (our go-to here for wasps and shit), then you’d feel like a fucking murder or and you’d have to pick it’s heavy carcass up.

Man occasionally in the UK, you’ll get a spider that’s not so much big as it is.. bulky? And you kill it and it hits the floor with a thud. Fuck that.

1

u/Doschupacabras 7d ago

Sketchy thing to stand on, check. Horrible strategy with a container that is way too small and nothing to slide under… also check.

1

u/joe-dirt-1001 5d ago

Time to move.

1

u/Argyros2 5d ago

It's so funny that screams don't have an accent.

1

u/OldHuddl 5d ago

I move back

1

u/pcb4u2 3d ago

Ah mate, dat a small spider.

-1

u/ShuStarveil 9d ago

Why would somebody be afraid of Spiders? They're totally harmless, nobody has died because of a huntsman spider bite. In fact, we help you by keeping other pests at bay. Fear of spiders is nonsense! Be kind to you'r spider.

-signed, Not a spider

8

u/theDataPiano 9d ago

*rips fake mustache off"

So it was you all along!

3

u/BlackHorse2019 8d ago

That's not how phobias work, you don't get to choose what your body enters a panic state over based on logic.

1

u/ShuStarveil 8d ago

oh wow based on this and the downvotes I don't think most people get the joke anymore lol, even changed my pfp for the bit.

2

u/cosby714 9d ago

Huntsman, they're good to have around. They'll eat mosquitos and other bad bugs. So, just let them be and they'll happily deal with all your pests.

-3

u/gobblegobblebiyatch 9d ago

Yeah if you don't mind fucking cobwebs and dead insect parts all over the place

1

u/icantgetnosatisfacti 8d ago

They don’t create spiderwebs. They hunt 

1

u/Rik_Whitaker 9d ago

Kill it with fire, it's the only way

1

u/Savi-- 9d ago

Omg! What are they doing to that spider!?

1

u/Maca-Pyon 9d ago

Whenever a bug I haven't seen before is in me house, I take a pic, upload it to Google Lens and look up if it's harmful to humans. If it isn't, I just let it hang out with me lol

0

u/DoggystyleFTW 9d ago

It's a baby, how dare you!! And it's massively harmless.