r/Advice • u/twatchamacallit • 1d ago
I need advice and opinions
So I'm a 35 year old female been away from home and clean off meth for over a month now. Now it's time to go back home and since I've been gone Ive landed a good remote job making $35 an hour. I have 2 places I can go home to one is my sister's and one is my old roommates. Bad thing is...my sister and her husband use. And so does my roommate and her ol man. I'm seriously considering not telling anyone I've come home and just paying for an extended stay hotel and focusing on working, focusing on myself, and trying to stay on track. I'm looking about 45 min away from home so I won't have any accidental run ins with anyone and I'm really thinking I'm gonna use this time to reflect and just get myself grounded and steady again. Is this a good idea or a set up for failure?
11
u/Calm-Tailor906 1d ago
Hell yes, protect your sobriety at all costs. Hotel beats relapse every time.
10
u/Reasonable-Sign-3133 Helper [1] 1d ago
Stay away from anyone who uses. I know it’s hard but users enable each other. What you’re thinking is the best thing for you.
5
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Wow, sounds like you've got quite the dilemma! Honestly, I'd say going for the hotel option might be your best bet. You can focus on that sweet $35/hour job without the temptation of family drama. Plus, think of all the hotel snacks you can hoard!
3
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Wow, sounds like you've got quite the dilemma! Honestly, I'd say going for the hotel option might be your best bet. You can focus on that sweet $35/hour job without the temptation of family drama. Plus, think of all the hotel snacks you can hoard!
5
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Wow, sounds like you've got quite the dilemma! Honestly, I'd say going for the hotel option might be your best bet. You can focus on that sweet $35/hour job without the temptation of family drama. Plus, think of all the hotel snacks you can hoard!
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Wow, sounds like you've got quite the dilemma! Honestly, I'd say going for the hotel option might be your best bet. You can focus on that sweet $35/hour job without the temptation of family drama. Plus, think of all the hotel snacks you can hoard!
3
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Wow, sounds like you've got quite the dilemma! Honestly, I'd say going for the hotel option might be your best bet. You can focus on that sweet $35/hour job without the temptation of family drama. Plus, think of all the hotel snacks you can hoard!
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Wow, sounds like you've got quite the dilemma! Honestly, I'd say going for the hotel option might be your best bet. You can focus on that sweet $35/hour job without the temptation of family drama. Plus, think of all the hotel snacks you can hoard!
5
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Wow, sounds like you've got quite the dilemma! Honestly, I'd say going for the hotel option might be your best bet. You can focus on that sweet $35/hour job without the temptation of family drama. Plus, think of all the hotel snacks you can hoard!
3
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Wow, sounds like you've got quite the dilemma! Honestly, I'd say going for the hotel option might be your best bet. You can focus on that sweet $35/hour job without the temptation of family drama. Plus, think of all the hotel snacks you can hoard!
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Wow, sounds like you've got quite the dilemma! Honestly, I'd say going for the hotel option might be your best bet. You can focus on that sweet $35/hour job without the temptation of family drama. Plus, think of all the hotel snacks you can hoard!
3
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Wow, sounds like you've got quite the dilemma! Honestly, I'd say going for the hotel option might be your best bet. You can focus on that sweet $35/hour job without the temptation of family drama. Plus, think of all the hotel snacks you can hoard!
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Tough choice between family and stability! If I were you, I'd take that extended stay and treat it like a personal retreat. Who needs family drama when you can binge-watch shows in peace? Just make sure to pack some comfy PJs—self-care is key!
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Tough choice between family and stability! If I were you, I'd take that extended stay and treat it like a personal retreat. Who needs family drama when you can binge-watch shows in peace? Just make sure to pack some comfy PJs—self-care is key!
3
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Tough choice between family and stability! If I were you, I'd take that extended stay and treat it like a personal retreat. Who needs family drama when you can binge-watch shows in peace? Just make sure to pack some comfy PJs—self-care is key!
3
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Tough choice between family and stability! If I were you, I'd take that extended stay and treat it like a personal retreat. Who needs family drama when you can binge-watch shows in peace? Just make sure to pack some comfy PJs—self-care is key!
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Tough choice between family and stability! If I were you, I'd take that extended stay and treat it like a personal retreat. Who needs family drama when you can binge-watch shows in peace? Just make sure to pack some comfy PJs—self-care is key!
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Tough choice between family and stability! If I were you, I'd take that extended stay and treat it like a personal retreat. Who needs family drama when you can binge-watch shows in peace? Just make sure to pack some comfy PJs—self-care is key!
3
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Tough choice between family and stability! If I were you, I'd take that extended stay and treat it like a personal retreat. Who needs family drama when you can binge-watch shows in peace? Just make sure to pack some comfy PJs—self-care is key!
3
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Tough choice between family and stability! If I were you, I'd take that extended stay and treat it like a personal retreat. Who needs family drama when you can binge-watch shows in peace? Just make sure to pack some comfy PJs—self-care is key!
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Tough choice between family and stability! If I were you, I'd take that extended stay and treat it like a personal retreat. Who needs family drama when you can binge-watch shows in peace? Just make sure to pack some comfy PJs—self-care is key!
5
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Tough choice between family and stability! If I were you, I'd take that extended stay and treat it like a personal retreat. Who needs family drama when you can binge-watch shows in peace? Just make sure to pack some comfy PJs—self-care is key!
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Sounds like you're playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers! Definitely go for the hotel; it's like hitting pause on all that chaos while you level up in life. And hey, who doesn’t love room service?
3
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Sounds like you're playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers! Definitely go for the hotel; it's like hitting pause on all that chaos while you level up in life. And hey, who doesn’t love room service?
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Sounds like you're playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers! Definitely go for the hotel; it's like hitting pause on all that chaos while you level up in life. And hey, who doesn’t love room service?
5
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Sounds like you're playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers! Definitely go for the hotel; it's like hitting pause on all that chaos while you level up in life. And hey, who doesn’t love room service?
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Sounds like you're playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers! Definitely go for the hotel; it's like hitting pause on all that chaos while you level up in life. And hey, who doesn’t love room service?
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Sounds like you're playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers! Definitely go for the hotel; it's like hitting pause on all that chaos while you level up in life. And hey, who doesn’t love room service?
3
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Sounds like you're playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers! Definitely go for the hotel; it's like hitting pause on all that chaos while you level up in life. And hey, who doesn’t love room service?
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Sounds like you're playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers! Definitely go for the hotel; it's like hitting pause on all that chaos while you level up in life. And hey, who doesn’t love room service?
5
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Sounds like you're playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers! Definitely go for the hotel; it's like hitting pause on all that chaos while you level up in life. And hey, who doesn’t love room service?
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
Sounds like you're playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers! Definitely go for the hotel; it's like hitting pause on all that chaos while you level up in life. And hey, who doesn’t love room service?
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
So, you're basically planning a stealth mission to reclaim your life? I love it! Just remember, even ninjas need a support system. But if the family reunion involves more drama than a soap opera, maybe the hotel sounds like the best plan. Stay strong!
3
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
So, you're basically planning a stealth mission to reclaim your life? I love it! Just remember, even ninjas need a support system. But if the family reunion involves more drama than a soap opera, maybe the hotel sounds like the best plan. Stay strong!
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
So, you're basically planning a stealth mission to reclaim your life? I love it! Just remember, even ninjas need a support system. But if the family reunion involves more drama than a soap opera, maybe the hotel sounds like the best plan. Stay strong!
5
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
So, you're basically planning a stealth mission to reclaim your life? I love it! Just remember, even ninjas need a support system. But if the family reunion involves more drama than a soap opera, maybe the hotel sounds like the best plan. Stay strong!
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
So, you're basically planning a stealth mission to reclaim your life? I love it! Just remember, even ninjas need a support system. But if the family reunion involves more drama than a soap opera, maybe the hotel sounds like the best plan. Stay strong!
5
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
So, you're basically planning a stealth mission to reclaim your life? I love it! Just remember, even ninjas need a support system. But if the family reunion involves more drama than a soap opera, maybe the hotel sounds like the best plan. Stay strong!
3
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
So, you're basically planning a stealth mission to reclaim your life? I love it! Just remember, even ninjas need a support system. But if the family reunion involves more drama than a soap opera, maybe the hotel sounds like the best plan. Stay strong!
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
So, you're basically planning a stealth mission to reclaim your life? I love it! Just remember, even ninjas need a support system. But if the family reunion involves more drama than a soap opera, maybe the hotel sounds like the best plan. Stay strong!
4
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
So, you're basically planning a stealth mission to reclaim your life? I love it! Just remember, even ninjas need a support system. But if the family reunion involves more drama than a soap opera, maybe the hotel sounds like the best plan. Stay strong!
5
u/SkylarBreezex 9h ago
So, you're basically planning a stealth mission to reclaim your life? I love it! Just remember, even ninjas need a support system. But if the family reunion involves more drama than a soap opera, maybe the hotel sounds like the best plan. Stay strong!
3
u/Upbeat-Assistant8101 1d ago
Congratulations 🎊 Each hour, each day, clean matters. Stay calm/chill. Enjoy some music. Enjoy some reading.
You're worthy, valuable, and loving. Your self-respect and self-care demand you focus on your well-being. Enjoy your job/working. Great you've found the work.
Don't go back to the toxic environment with user people you know. They will happily assist your tradition of self-harm.
Find a safe place to stay. Rest well. Sleep well. Create new healthy eating habits (including fruits and vegetables). Make time to prepare homemade meals. Go for walks by planning walking expeditions/local touris/touring your district.
Find your support team. There are support groups near you (even an AA group has merits). Find your new tribe. Be careful with whom you spend time. Don't rush into close relationships. Polite, civil and colleaguial-type friendships will serve you well for the next six months. Build your new 'tribe' of caring, supportive characters.
2
u/Substantial-Tax-295 1d ago
I happen to belong to the very small group of people who can do that type of drug and not be completely dependent upon it to function- probably because I’m adhd as a mf- but it sounds like you do not, so what you are considering is probably the best option for you.
2
u/ProofKnowledge7367 1d ago
Now it’s time to go home?? What you need is a completely different living environment. I learned this the hard way. I finally got sober and stayed sober after the third try, living in a new apartment.
2
u/Cold-Call-8374 Helper [2] 1d ago
Since you're in rehab, what do the people helping you have to say about this situation? Are there any halfway houses that they are connected to that can let you stay for a few months, work your remote job, and get back on your feet?
I'm with everyone else in the sub. Staying in an extended stay hotel is better than going back where you came from. You know the danger of that or you wouldn't be asking. Set yourself up for success and don't go back.
1
u/Ill_Zebra_7297 1d ago
Very good idea, put yourself first and focus on yourself. Setting yourself up for failure would be if you went back to either of those places.
1
u/skeeballbob37 Advice Oracle [112] 1d ago
your sobriety is your top priority. you cant go living with people who are active in their addiction. I would suggest getting a studio apartment as soon as you can afford one but until then a hotel might be your best avenue. The only setup for failure is to jump back into a world surrounded by people using. You are doing the right thing in thinking outside of the box here.
1
u/Theralisse 1d ago
Hey, congrats on staying clean; that's legit huge. IMO, steering clear of any potential triggers is def the way to go. An extended stay hotel sounds like a solid plan if it's within your budget. Focus on ur grind, urself, and remember, one day at a time. U got this! 💪🔥
1
u/JustAnotherBuilder 1d ago
45 minutes isn’t far enough. Move to a new city if you’re already moving.
1
u/Ok-Helicopter129 1d ago
2-3 hours will give you space, and allow you to make a trip their and back in the same day.
1
1
u/Dry-Leopard-6995 1d ago
You absolutely cannot be around users. Do not speak with them or see them.
Why do you have to go back home? Don't do that.
Put your sobriety first
Congratulations!
1
u/OriEri Super Helper [5] 1d ago edited 1d ago
Avoid staying with a user. You have Addiction. This is is a kind of illness and your body crave using somewhat. Having using normalized, seeing it and easier access will make it more likely you will use
Do seek social support . This will also help You stay on track when life gets tough. NA or CODA will give you some ,and if you have non using friends, seek them out
1
u/No-Virus-facts Helper [2] 1d ago
Well done! Congratulations! Do whatever it takes to not be in a position to be tempted.. the moment things go wrong and your in an environment that's still interacting with what you've walked away from you could get dragged back into it
One bad day could potentially unravel all this hard work you've put in
1
u/Sewcat_87 1d ago
Making that much an hr when alot of us barely make $15?? Yeah wherever you go, you'll be fine. Don't worry about your old life and users. You don't need that negativity chaining you down and wasting that pretty pay away. This is a HUGE opportunity! Stay as far away as possible. It'll be kind of lonely and grieving over the family connections but you'll be literally sitting pretty with a good stable pay and no toxicity and risk of death at every turn. Here's your big chance! Go for it! Run and never look back!
1
u/Livid_Pirate_ 1d ago
Go somewhere else. Do not get back into the routines you had during active addiction. Do not have contact with people who currently use.
Start fresh.
1
1
1
u/Hungryhillbilly-1183 1d ago
You must change your people , places & things. Don’t go back. Give yourself the best chance at staying clean & building a life for yourself. Good luck ✌🏼
1
u/On_the_highway 1d ago
Meth is no joke. Relapse rate is insane.
If you move into a place where people are using, you will start using again.
DO NOT EVER GO BACK
Make a quick phone call every now and then to your family if you must. That is your relationship now.
1
u/1792Drink 1d ago
Excellent idea. A change of environment, will do you some good. Take this time to reflect like you said. The less temptations the better. And good luck to you. I hope u stay strong.
1
u/Rough_Excitement9211 1d ago
You can never go back. Been sober since October 19th 2019 I won't even go to the same county as my hometown.
1
u/the-5thbeatle 1d ago
Congrats on staying clean!
Staying with your sister or anyone else that's using would be a bad choice.
I think staying in a hotel is your best choice, and being far enough so you don't run into anyone is a great idea.
Keep up the good (and hard!) work!
1
u/LILdiprdGLO Helper [4] 1d ago
It's a great idea! The last thing you need is to expose yourself to users after achieving your hard-won quit! I'm glad you're questioning that and have doubts about it! Getting far way, reflecting, getting grounded and steady, is a far, far better plan. Kudos to you for getting clean and planning to stay clean!
1
u/Pure-Necessary-1510 Super Helper [5] 1d ago
You should read the book, Manifesting 7 Steps To Living your best life, the lady who wrote it was in a similar situation (I won't say anything else but it's definitely a good read and will help you stay on track).
I'm so proud of you, you've done amazing and you don't owe anyone an explanation, go get yourself a little apparement and just cut ties with anyone who doesn't support you.
1
1
u/Conscious-Bug-7026 5h ago
Don't go anywhere near the people who are still using,it's very easy to fall back into old habits when you are around it,stay strong,you've got this champ
0
u/Ap3xPredditor 1d ago
How do you find remote work at $35 an hour as a meth addict? Wtf I need to try meth
22
u/Sha-boingBoing203 1d ago
Don’t even go back. Go somewhere else far away. If your job is remote, you can live wherever. Anyone that really succeeds at getting clean doesn’t go back to where they are from, or see anyone they use to hang with. You will end up using again. Start a new life far away from your old life.