r/AlAnon • u/Mobile-Tadpole-580 • 3d ago

Support Alcoholics & Codependents

Research in psychology suggests that codependents are indeed more likely to end up in relationships with alcoholics or others struggling with addiction.

How do you feel about this?

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u/Academic_Complex_406 3d ago

My therapist tells me I am codependent and my husband is an alcoholic. I know I am, but I just enjoy being around him when he is sober and I really, really hate being alone. I don't think there is anything wrong with being attached to your partner. I will admit I need more friends, though, but making friends in your 30s isn't easy. 🤣

1

u/National-Plastic8691 3d ago

go join some clubs or something. learn to play tennis 

1

u/Academic_Complex_406 3d ago

I know how to play tennis. Lol. I played tennis in high school, but I don't have money to join leagues.

1

u/National-Plastic8691 3d ago

it was an example, going to something, if you wish 

1

u/Lauren_RNBSN 3d ago

I know - my current “partner” I don’t even know if I should bother calling him that at this point anymore- when he is present, he is wonderful and we have the absolute best time. But he has been disappearing a lot, I don’t even know if he is in rehab (he could be), and a pathetic part in side me just really wants him to come back. But the disappearing unfortunately is becoming a cycle that ends up hurting me.

I always fall deeply for addicts. :/

7

u/Academic_Complex_406 3d ago

It's very easy to do.

I studied counseling. It is so difficult for me not to do everything in my power to save everyone else.

However, I don't have a happy medium. I'm either doing everything for everyone and nothing for myself, or I cut off everyone and everything and just shut the whole damn world out. I'm currently in this phase, and it's tough.

I'm thinking of you, and I hope life gets better for you!