r/AlAnon • u/Mobile-Tadpole-580 • 3d ago
Support Alcoholics & Codependents
Research in psychology suggests that codependents are indeed more likely to end up in relationships with alcoholics or others struggling with addiction.
How do you feel about this?
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u/10handsllc 2d ago
My therapist brought up recently in a session the “imposter syndrome” and “addicted to unhappiness”. These look a lot like codependency and the term codependency has not been used in any of our sessions.
I think that these two ideas are applicable to my reality in that sometimes I just screw things up, relationships included, and at times I screw things up because I do not feel like I belong or deserve positive outcomes. Those drivers in me are directly linked to my childhood and they at times make me feel like I am on acid and watching myself from outside my body prodding me to screw something up. Kinda spiritual and kinda crazy to say out loud. I have too many thoughts in my head about everything. I have rarely felt grounded in and out of relationships. I always wanted the “something” else but never have truly found it to my knowledge. At least if I did, I feel pretty sure I screwed it up or walked right by it.
I do not put a lot of stock in the term codependency because I feel the very nature of it seems like a surrender to those who have hurt you over the corse of your life or have taken from you. I am clear in that once I became of age I have made some bad choices and those choices are my responsibility no matter who else or what relationship status we had thinks. If I don’t own my choices I am merely just blaming someone else. Just because I was hurt doesn’t give me privilege to hide behind the codependency title.
Take care of yourself and use what is left for others is my mantra these days.