It’s over

[u/Lauren_RNBSN]

Someone I fell so deeply for this year, someone I thought I would marry and have children with and build a little home and garden with - told me he realized he was an alcoholic about a month ago and nothing has been the same since. We’ve spoken once since then, when he told me he missed me and cared deeply for me and was going to marry me…and then he disappeared. He used to disappear in the earlier days for a few days at a time, no big deal. But now it’s absence for much longer.

My anxiety got the best of me after 10 days of not hearing from him despite me reaching out every few days. I even said explicitly that I really needed attention soon and that his absence was making me feel really sad. But not that it had to be a long conversation or anything, just an acknowledgment to know he still cared. He never responded.

Last night I couldn’t sleep, and I finally wrote “I can’t do this anymore”.

4 hours later he finally responded “I’m sorry. I wish I could be the person you needed me to be.”

We exchanged a few words. He told me he meant everything he said about children and a family.

This morning I sent my final message - apologizing for making this all about me, probably causing more stress that he doesn’t need during this time where he is struggling with his challenges, and that I’ll probably just do more damage at this point. I told him he should block me because I couldn’t, I wasn’t ready.

Then after sitting with my feelings for a bit, I took some screenshots of the most beautiful conversations we had together, deleted his number, and deleted the text thread.

I can’t contact him now. I know it’s for the best. But fuck does this hurt.

[u/InevitableVictory729]

I admire you doing what I should have done a long time ago with my Q.