r/AmITheAngel • u/Nobodyat1 • Jul 10 '25
Revenge Fantasy The only thing Reddit hates more than cheaters is a “neglectful” breadwinning wife.
/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1lvz2ti/my_husband_is_cheating_on_me_but_i_dont_know_if_i/555
u/aoi4eg rude that she insists all my success in life is because I'm gay Jul 10 '25
I began to spend more and more time outside for job and venting out to friends. It was like a drug to me.
She became addicted to... working and hanging out with friends?
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u/Dragon_Tea_Leaf Jul 10 '25
People who villainize talking about personal problems with friends or family are such a massive red flag.
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u/MPLS_Poppy Jul 10 '25
Seriously. Why do people think that you should only talk about your problems with your partner? It’s so toxic. No one person can be your everything. They can’t be your love, your best friend, your therapist, your parent. You have to have other relationships to be a healthy person.
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u/ponyproblematic DON'T TREAD ON MY COOCH Jul 10 '25
Hey, that's not fair, you also have AITA subs to dump all your fake personal drama on! Reddit hasn't decided that's cheating... yet.
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u/YoHeadAsplode Too Poor To Touch Shrimp Jul 10 '25
No. If you talk to your parents you're "Running to mommy and daddy!"
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u/MPLS_Poppy Jul 11 '25
I find this one particularly funny! I get it if you have the type of parents who always take your side. I have friends whose parents are like that and they did have to learn not to go to them with relationship issues. But my parents are not like that. My parents are the type of parents who are always encouraging me to look at what I’m doing in any situation. That can also be toxic but IMO it’s much healthier. And my parents love my partner! They want us to work things out!
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u/thousandthlion Jul 10 '25
Yeah there just needs to be balance. Like if all you do is shit talk your spouse to family and friends don’t be shocked when they don’t like them anymore. But you need SOMEONE to vent to sometimes, and having a third party listen and provide feedback can be super helpful.
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u/DreadyKruger Jul 10 '25
Because you vent and make up. And friends and family think less and less of your spouse each time you do it.
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u/Dragon_Tea_Leaf Jul 10 '25
There is nothing wrong talking to friends and family about your relationship problems, it’s extremely normal and healthy. Being bothered your partner looks for support outside the relationship is unhealthy and controlling behavior. If someone is afraid or upset their partner is getting supporting or venting to friends then there’s probably a reason and it’s probably because they’re an asshole / bad partner. Only time I’ve ever thought less of a friends’ partner is because he was a genuine piece of shit who treated him terribly.
Obviously everything is nuanced and some people have shit friends but I’m not gonna write a dissertation going into every possible hypothetical. I will never trust someone who takes issues with this. There’s a reason someone would be bothered by it and the reason is probably them being an asshole / being wrong about a situation / being a bad partner / whatever.
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u/tessiedrums Jul 11 '25
The wording here is suspiciously weird. Like work addiction is a real thing I've struggled with, but I would never describe it as "like a drug" wtf haha
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u/Buttered_biscuit6969 Jul 10 '25
I think the idea is that she was spending most of her time away from her husband and her family, which left him on his own to deal with their two young kids. I knew some fathers that did this.
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Jul 11 '25
We do justify women cheating when their man isn’t around enough.
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u/aoi4eg rude that she insists all my success in life is because I'm gay Jul 11 '25
Dunno who's 'we', me and the voices in my head never justified that 😂
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u/GGunner723 EDIT: [extremely vital information] Jul 10 '25
Once again, the only thing that’s worse to Redditors than cheating is not having sex.
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u/Bitter_Beautiful8038 Jul 10 '25
I really really hate the phrase they use “denying sex.” It makes an intimate action something one is entitled to from someone else. Just say you didn’t want to have sex with somebody instead making it some obligation. Like if I asked someone out and they rejected me, it wouldn’t be fair to claim that they “denied me a date” they just simply didn’t want to go out with me.
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u/DungeonsandDoofuses Jul 10 '25
Yeah, the thing about the phrase “denying sex” is that it implies both parties want to have sex, but one says no to spite their partner (and themself). Otherwise it’s just… not wanting to have sex. No one is owed sex from someone who doesn’t want to have sex, that’s not being denied, that’s just, you know, consent.
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u/cheoldyke Jul 11 '25
denying someone intimacy CAN be an abuse tactic but that’s in a pretty specific context. like if someone’s partner refuses to have sex as a form of punishment or to undermine their self esteem. but that’s not what’s being described here lol this is definitely just someone fantasizing about a scenario where a woman is like “you cheated on me? oh baby im sorry that mustve been so hard”
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u/neddythestylish Woke love looks like this. Jul 10 '25
I'm surprised that nobody's talking about "needs." I really hate that. Yes, sex is really important to many people, but you won't die without it.
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u/RenTroutGaming you should put "if i was a fucking loser that hates women, i'd p Jul 10 '25
It also gets into the "boundary vs ultimatum" issue that these advice subs struggle with. Sure, one partner has a "need" for sex but the other partner may have a "need" to not have sex, but for some reason Reddit only seems to care one way.
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u/TalkTalkTalkListen difficult difficult lemon fucked Jul 10 '25
I would say that not having sex isn’t regarded as a need at all. It’s not even regarded as something that exists in most cases. They’re like “huh? What do you mean, you don’t need sex? Everyone needs sex, you must be withholding it out of spite!” God, I hate the term withholding sex
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u/electric_emu Jul 10 '25
I hate how reddit at large handles the issue. There is persistent undercurrent of bad faith that ignores emotional aspects (i.e. the actually important and generally much more nuanced issues) in favor the physical act itself. No one is going to die or get hurt if they don't have another human to nut in.
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u/TalkTalkTalkListen difficult difficult lemon fucked Jul 10 '25
To be fair, Reddit doesn’t handle most issues well. Especially those concerning relationships, because most commenters seem to be absolutely oblivious to actual human interactions, feelings and any type of nuance
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u/ShinyHappyPurple Jul 10 '25
Other than all that though, it's a terrific place to get advice and support.....
Just kidding, I agree with you, there are so many posts where I hope the poster made it up because the advice and comments are horrific
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u/hisimpendingbaldness I am a regular at Panda Express Jul 11 '25
Everything is a zero-sum single play game to reddit. There are no longer term consequences to any action taken in AITAland
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u/Mysterious-Coyote442 Jul 10 '25
I’ve seen comments from younger men (likely 16-24) along the lines of “being a virgin is so hard, why can’t my female friends just do me a favor?”
A FAVOR. Like sex is nothing, no emotional involvement, no vulnerability, nothing. It’s just a simple chore that their female friends should be performing for them because reasons. Shit makes me sick.
And sure you could say “ah that’s young people don’t take them too seriously” NO. That is never an attitude young men (and people as a whole) should ever have about sex and intimacy.
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u/mirrorspirit Jul 11 '25
And some of them aren't content to stop after having sex once. They'll see it as If their female friend had already had sex with them, she shouldn't have any reason to refuse to have sex again.
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u/Winterstyres Jul 10 '25
And how about the, 'needs' of the person that doesn't want to have sex. I have a, 'need' to not have sex with most people I know... That's not true, I am a slut. But, I would also really hate to have sex with someone that was doing it out of pity, or a sense of obligation. How fucked is that?!
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u/nice_dumpling Jul 10 '25
It’s the classic case of “wanting a woman who didn’t have much sex but she has to have a high sex drive with me”
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u/jaderust Jul 10 '25
The woman I’m in a relationship with has to be willing to bang every time I have a horny thought or she’s punishing me by withholding sex!
Omg, she has a body count of previous relationships! WHORE!!
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u/ApparitionofAmbition Jul 11 '25
And she has to be good at sex, but not because she's experimented and knows what she likes or because she's had partners who showed her what they liked.
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u/ponyproblematic DON'T TREAD ON MY COOCH Jul 11 '25
And god forbid she's tried something else with another ex-partner but she doesn't want to do it with her current partner.
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u/artificialgraymatter she’s for the streets Jul 10 '25
There was that thing with the conjoined twins with differing sexualities. One had a boyfriend, the other was not interested in sex, at least with men.
And the majority of the comments were about the poor girl sacrificing that good D for her sister…
Yeah, because that would be rape?? Wtf is wrong with people… They act like no sex is worse than having it where you can’t consent…
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u/wozattacks Jul 10 '25
He literally fucking cheated and they told her to say “mommy made some big mistakes that hurt daddy very badly.” Apparently daddy was merely a hapless victim of circumstance
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u/mirrorspirit Jul 11 '25
But she was so mean to him, indulging in her work schedule and mourning the deaths of her parents and childhood friend and dealing with her mental illness. A better wife would have simply gotten over all those things and attended to her husband's sexual needs instead. /s
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u/StripedBadger Jul 10 '25 edited Jul 10 '25
See, that level of nuance actually surprised me. This wasn’t a man who went out to cheat, but a series of escalating events that resulted in him making an impulsive decision when he wasn’t in his normal sense of mind. They show instead of told for once, and let people’s empathy do the heavy lifting to see where he was coming from.
It’s a fake story. But it’s a good and well written fake story in that particular direction. There’s other parts badly done, but the affair shows nuance, and it requires a level of worldly experience that the teenagers we usually see don’t even know of.
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u/Just-some-peep Jul 11 '25
What's hilarious is that in majority of cases the people that bitch about dead bedrooms killed it themselves. First degree murder.
They actively turn off their partners and then complain about lack of sex. Why would anyone want to fuck you after you make basic human interactions with them excruciating?
Perhaps there's only so many times your partner can see you unshowered, in 10y old underwear with holes, being lazy on the couch, scratching your balls, before you kill all their attraction.
Or they make sex boring, at best. There is no point in having sex that isn't amazing and doesn't give you an orgasm. It's a chore. It's like opening a boring amusement park and then complaining people don't want to visit. And then being bitter when people rediscover their love for amusement parks after they visit a good one after years of being bored to death in yours because "they didn't like my amusement park".
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Jul 13 '25 edited Jul 13 '25
[deleted]
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u/Just-some-peep Jul 13 '25 edited Jul 13 '25
Your reach and hangups are your own problems. I never told anyone to cheat, I simply said I see no point in having bad sex with no orgasms.
Why would I fuck someone whose bad at sex? I can masturbate on my own. If my orgasm is my responsibility then theirs is theirs and doesn't have to include me.
You know what gives you the same things you mentioned + a good time and an orgasm? Great sex with orgasms.
Also: I am not stopping you from having bad sex, you do you. I simply don't see a reason I would have it myself. And it's logical that people who have boring / bad sex want it less and less because it's a waste of time. So if you're a bad lay don't whine that people aren't enthusiastically having bad sex with you.
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Jul 10 '25
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u/No-Tomatillo1206 Jul 10 '25
honestly given the number of people calling *this post* abuse also makes me wonder if reddit would genuinely call someone abusive for not having sex too
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u/LeatherAppearance616 Jul 10 '25
They literally do!! Before I muted it the askmen sub would show up in my feed and they 100% consider someone not wanting sex with them to be abusive.
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u/AnneListerine My wife was exiled to the woods for being a bitch Jul 10 '25
I once read a comment on this hell site that said not having sex with your partner is a form of sexual assault. Like what the fuck.
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u/No-Tomatillo1206 Jul 10 '25
There's already someone in the comments of this fucking post here complaining about it >.>
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u/noncebasher54 Jul 10 '25
I'd ask what they said but I'd rather not fucking vomit.
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Jul 10 '25
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u/OrdinaryWords Jul 10 '25
Um. Men have been using that phrase since before I was the flinch in my daddy's soul.
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u/JaySlay2000 Jul 10 '25
I've seen multiple men argue that ""withholding sex"" is emotional abuse, so yes. They would call it abuse.
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u/yulscakes Jul 10 '25
A post like that would be a legit AITA scenario without a clear asshole. Two partners with incompatible sexual needs but who still love each other and want to be together. But one partner steps out to meet the sexual needs they can’t get met by their partner, while their partner finds out and feels betrayed. There’s a lot of uncomfortable nuance there and probably hits close to a lot of relationships. I’m not saying AITA would have good takes on it. But it is a genuine gray area for the moral philosophers.
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Jul 10 '25
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u/yulscakes Jul 10 '25
You feel strongly a certain way. A lot of people actually living through these difficult dynamics see things differently.
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u/CrystalRedCynthia Jul 11 '25
If you're not happy, fix it or leave. Don't go behind the other's back doing the deed with someone else. Be an adult and deal with it like one.
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u/PMMEBITCOINPLZ Jul 10 '25
Who would make something like this up and who would believe it?
One thing that is interesting in AITA stories it’s usually only the narrator that has an “inner life” and believable, sympathetic motivations. Everyone else is an “NPC” acting irrationally because that’s necessary for the rage bait. Anyway this is the first one I’ve seen where it’s flipped and there’s no inner life in the narrator, all of the believable sympathy is transferred to the husband as the wife simply owns her sins.
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u/No-Tomatillo1206 Jul 10 '25
Personally I don't find the husband very sympathetic. She mentions "belittling" him but that could be anything from a few stray comments to frequent and intense berating. The incident she describes in more detail (she is late to her child's party due to a friend's serious accident, and tells her husband to "man up" in the heat of the ensuing argument) doesn't sound irredeemably awful to me, but of course it's hard to tell
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u/silicondali Jul 10 '25 edited Jul 10 '25
That's the tell of these stories. All of the sins of the narrator are things that functional adults roll with but would be devastating for an emotionally stunted teenager.
Just like how this ever so believable woman thinks of intimacy only in relation to how it affects her husband by "denying" him. Or how her work performance hinges on a single meeting, almost like how promotions exist as plot points in media.
It's poorly written and misunderstood application of AITAH tropes. This incel should spend the summer in remedial English. It's clear he needs a lot of patient direction to help him get his reading comprehension and written communication skills to a comfortable grade 7 level.
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u/welcometotemptation Jul 10 '25
Yes, you nailed it. An actual woman in this situation would be talking about desire waning slowly due to job stress, being guilty over not seeing her kids, and not wanting sex because she's busy or stressed or both and also the house is a mess.
This is pure revenge fantasy at fictional women who dare work and not put out. Lol.
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u/No-Tomatillo1206 Jul 10 '25
Yep, also you'd think the husband would have brought up these issues once or twice before rolling out the divorce papers
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u/theaxolotlgod Jul 10 '25
On Reddit, telling someone to “man up” is like calling them a slur. (And no, I don’t think that’s an acceptable or constructive thing to say to anyone, let alone your partner, but come on)
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u/neddythestylish Woke love looks like this. Jul 10 '25
Why would anyone actually bother to post this in relationship_advice? She's not asking for advice. This is just self-flagellation for no good reason.
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u/No-Tomatillo1206 Jul 10 '25
I'm 99% this is incel fantasy written by a man
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u/StrikingAccident Jul 10 '25
That was my take on it two paragraphs in. Way too many hot buttons in this make believe, and was convinced with this one:
I know many of you are going to hate me for this but I am looking at a promotion this year and I really needed to visit that meeting. I wrapped up my meeting and was heading home when I got to know one of my friends had an accident and I was needed. I drove there and was late for my child's birthday.
So wrapped up in work and gunning for promotion she ignores the family to sit with a co-worker. Sure.
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u/No-Tomatillo1206 Jul 10 '25
this whole paragraph is hella confusing. sounds like the meeting had 0 to do with her lateness. a five year olds party is generally not a super long affair, but waiting to see someone in the hospital right after an accident often is
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u/RenTroutGaming you should put "if i was a fucking loser that hates women, i'd p Jul 10 '25
This idea of "one meeting" to "earn" a promotion is so outdated and silly. I've been in the corporate world for a couple decades and never seen someone be promoted for attending a single meeting, nor for completing a single project.
There is an aspect of being available at all times and prioritizing work over your family, sure, but its never "Jones, either attend this meeting or kiss that promotion goodbye!"
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u/PurrPrinThom Jul 10 '25
Oh 100%. The fact that the OP can't say a single negative thing about the husband is a huge tell. If they were arguing all the time, like the OP says, a real person would have some complaints that started those arguments, and even if they felt guilty about the situation as a whole, they would still feel the need to justify themselves a little bit.
But the poster doesn't. The whole focus is how they've done absolutely everything wrong and the husband is a perfect angel. There isn't even the usual 'I work 75 hours a week and do all the chores,' stuff. It's just straight up Wife Bad.
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u/No-Tomatillo1206 Jul 10 '25
That's a really good point!! The "man up" comment comes out of nowhere!
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u/PurrPrinThom Jul 10 '25
Exactly. A real person would at least make excuses for some things: "we were arguing all the time because he felt like I was working too much, but I needed to work that much to keep a roof over our head." I don't know anyone who wouldn't at least try and explain themselves, or why they were arguing. The OOP doesn't even try to defend herself or justify her behaviour.
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u/Itslikethisnow Stay mad hoes Jul 10 '25
99.9% it’s an incel role reversal fantasy written by a man.
Edit: with very strange English syntax
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u/wozattacks Jul 10 '25
That or it’s a feminist trolling to show people how fucking hypocritical they are.
Every single stay at home mom has sacrificed a career for her partner’s. But people don’t frame it like they do in the OOP. They act like the husband’s job is something he’s doing for the wife, to allow her to stay home
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u/TalkTalkTalkListen difficult difficult lemon fucked Jul 10 '25
Is it a MyCountry thing for the parent, who doesn’t have a job or house, to get primary custody?
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u/aaronupright Jul 10 '25
When teenagers write about sex, only knowing about it from porn and smut, they produce an hilarious output.
Same here except this is about jobs, adult relationships, the Court system. Doctors.
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u/RenTroutGaming you should put "if i was a fucking loser that hates women, i'd p Jul 10 '25
This could be a "MyState" thing in the US even (although this doesn't seem to be written by a native English speaker). In most places in the US, if a couple that shares children agrees that one partner will remain home to raise the children, that parent is entitled to support post divorce. Many jurisdictions also operate under "best interests of the children" and this is usually means "least disruptive."
So... although this story is clearly an incel fantasy, in many cases of divorce where one parent is generally out of the house and the other is a full time stay at home parent, the stay at home parent would remain in the home with the children receiving support.
"He told me I could have the house but the children would remain with him" doesn't make a ton of sense, at least in the US, unless he is independently wealthy. The house is the largest marital asset and giving that up makes no sense, whatsoever, and where is he going to move the kids too?
That said - couples can agree to whatever they want. If this is what they agree on, that's fine. I am surprised, though, that the hard charging, up for promotion, attending the big meeting in the big city, career woman who struggles in a male dominated field but doesn't let that stop her, is suddenly saying "Oh its ok I know I have rights in this divorce but whatever you want!"
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u/TalkTalkTalkListen difficult difficult lemon fucked Jul 10 '25
Him giving away the house while getting primary custody of the kids is my main question. Is he moving to an unnamed location with them, while she stays in the house? That makes so little sense
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u/RenTroutGaming you should put "if i was a fucking loser that hates women, i'd p Jul 10 '25
Exactly - where is he taking them? Is he so wealthy he has houses available? The ex-wife doesn't care that her kids are being uprooted like this? Or are we supposed to imply that he is moving in with his affair partner? And again... ex wife doesn't care?
Also... what is the point of ex-wife, now single, living in a house that the whole family used to occupy all by herself? She has a 4 bedroom just to herself?
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u/TalkTalkTalkListen difficult difficult lemon fucked Jul 10 '25
I would assume that in most cases, if one of the spouses moves out of the family home, it’s the non-custodial parent, so that the remaining parent and kids get to stay in their house for obvious reasons.
I guess this whole plot is just centered around the woman being such a piece of shit, that she doesn’t even care about the kids’ welfare and where they’re going, let alone the husband’s sexual needs. No one wants to live with her anyway, because she’s, again, a major piece of shit.
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u/fakesaucisse Jul 10 '25
I don't really get the confusion about where he and the kids will live. He will rent or buy a place, probably in the same school district as before. Since he's the stay at home parent he may receive alimony and child support from OOP to pay for his housing, food, everything the kids need. He may have savings from selling his business as well.
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u/pink_gem Jul 10 '25
How old are you? That might be why you don't understand.
Like, of course he can rent or buy another house. That's obviously something he can do. The reason that one partner usually gives up the marital home, though, is to keep the kids in the same environment. It makes no sense, whatsoever, for a person to both 1) take primary custody and 2) also give up the marital home.
Can it happen? Yeah. But usually the reason the man gives up the marital home to a woman in a story like this (where a guy cheated), is because the woman is also the primary parent.
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u/fakesaucisse Jul 10 '25
I am middle aged. I totally get why it's weird he would leave the house and take the kids elsewhere, but the comments read more to me like people saying logistically he will have nowhere to go.
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u/pink_gem Jul 10 '25
That is not the way I read it, especially given all of the questions the commenter asked following the 'where is he taking them?' question, which was in regards to specifically kids.
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u/No-Tomatillo1206 Jul 10 '25
If the non-custodial parent moves out, they only need a studio or 1-bedroom, or can move in with family/friends/roommates. If the custodial parent moves out with the kids, they would need a minimum 2-bedroom, more likely 3 for the two kids. I guess its possible OOP is *really* raking in the dough or that her husband had savings, but an entire extra 3-bedroom apartment on top of your existing mortgage and childcare expenses is just a lot of money. Even if you can afford it, why would you have the non-custodial parent remain in a 2-3+ bedroom house they aren't going to be using most of? That's not to mention the expenses and hassle of moving the 2 kids' stuff. It's not impossible per se, just really unlikely and illogical.
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u/Itslikethisnow Stay mad hoes Jul 10 '25
Every state in the US has different laws regarding divorce and custody. I’m sure many of them are similar, but it’s definitely not one size fits all.
Now I don’t practice family law, but “signed the divorce papers” makes no sense for California, at least. A divorce (or any lawsuit really) starts with the filing of the complaint (petition in divorce cases), there’s a form you can use but I’m sure some attorneys will use their own template. The petition/complaint and any other required documents depending on case type are filed with the court. Then, you serve those same filed documents on the other side. The person being served does not sign these documents! They file a separate response/answer (looks like divorce cases require the blank form to be given to the other side when serving, but it requires more than a signature. Also, the spouse who filed (or the plaintiff in general) can’t be the one to serve the documents, it has to be someone else! This is someone who’s only knowledge of divorce comes from media.
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u/electric_emu Jul 10 '25
It can happen, even when the legal default is 50/50 (most places). I only practiced family law for about a year and a half but I saw it happen a number of times. Typically because the working parent was only seeking 50/50 custody to reduce/eliminate their child support obligation and had no ability to or interest in taking care of the children.
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u/wozattacks Jul 10 '25
I mean if only one parent has a job, then the other one is usually the primary caretaker. It makes sense for them to get primary custody if the kids are young.
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u/AtLeastOneCat Jul 10 '25
This is 100% a dude.
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Jul 10 '25
Yep. A dude who got divorced by his wife because she found out he cheated so he is trying to find validation
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u/macarbrecadabre Jul 10 '25
They are so pathetically jealous of any woman with any amount of career or educational success and are desperate to see them fail.
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u/larrydavid2681 I love gaslighting Jul 10 '25
classic gender flip
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u/No-Tomatillo1206 Jul 10 '25
there is no fucking way reddit would go to bat this hard for a woman who cheated
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u/ApparitionofAmbition Jul 11 '25
Especially a SAHM who cheated because her husband worked too much.
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u/No-Tomatillo1206 Jul 11 '25
there would be sooo many comments like, oh well was she actually trying to spice things up in the bedroom? Whereas the husband gets to do 0 effort
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u/neddythestylish Woke love looks like this. Jul 10 '25
Yeah, I hate being the person who says "if the genders were reversed" but Jesus Christ, if a SAHM cheated all we'd get would be diatribes about how much of a piece of shit she was for not appreciating the hard work he was doing to feed them all.
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u/larrydavid2681 I love gaslighting Jul 10 '25
i’ve read so many bullshit posts about the breadwinner working to much neglecting family leading to cheating
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u/Particular_Class4130 Jul 10 '25
I didn't read all the way through but based on what I did read it's typical sexist bullshit. If a wife cheats she must spend her life feeling ashamed and doing penance for being a whore. If a husband cheats then the wife still has to spend her life feeling ashamed and doing penance for being a shitty wife that made her husband cheat.
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u/coolshlut Jul 10 '25
Didn’t you know? Being emotionally distant can cause your man to slip and fall right into the next hole
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u/larrydavid2681 I love gaslighting Jul 10 '25
yes it is super weird that commenters are blaming the non cheater here
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u/13confusedpolkadots Jul 10 '25
oh, but wait, she just found out she’s bipolar! small wonder she was working so hard — no “normal” woman would cherish her career built on a life-long dream.
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u/SuitableAnimalInAHat Where are all the career-oriented hos at? Jul 10 '25
Like 3 sentences in she writes "lost ourselves," and I said nope. This will not be worth it.
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u/No-Tomatillo1206 Jul 10 '25
is this AI or at the very least not written by someone who speaks English natively? The phrase "adrenaline rush" is used extremely incorrectly here. (I've never heard of adrenaline rush being long term, that's why it's a rush, and it also contradicts her saying she's depressed). Most importantly, I don't think any remotely reasonable adult woman uses the phrase "denied him sex," especially referring to a situation where she was extremely depressed. That's incel shit.
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u/MPLS_Poppy Jul 10 '25
It reads like AI to me.
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u/Itslikethisnow Stay mad hoes Jul 10 '25
So one thing that AI can do is spell and follow the rules of grammar. This has so much weird syntax indicative of a non native speaker or a poor writer, or both.
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u/MPLS_Poppy Jul 10 '25
No, it doesn’t read like that to me. AI doesn’t use grammar correctly though I give you the spelling but a non native speaker will often use the same pattern of mistakes, often reminiscent of a difference in language structure between the languages, where this has weird mistakes all over but no pattern. Also with non native writers there is other clues to them being a non native speakers. Like a phrase that’s common in a different language or timing mistakes because a lot of languages use tenses differently. It could just be a bad writer, or a child, maybe a child incel, but I think bad AI.
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u/Itslikethisnow Stay mad hoes Jul 11 '25
Sure, if you say so. I’m sure AI says “mofe” when it means “more” and “out” instead of “our” and “visit that meeting” because that’s a common enough turn of phrase in the writings it was trained on that it would definitely spit that out instead of “attend that meeting” or “go to that meeting”. Maybe it’s a non English native AI since it used “8th January”? And AI would also omit spaces between words and parentheses.
Y’all are so desperate to claim something is AI that you forget some people just suck at writing.
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u/MPLS_Poppy Jul 11 '25
I think you think AI is a lot smarter then they are. Also a lot of native English speakers use 8th January instead of January the 8th. The month/day/year format is only an American thing. So a native English speaker from Canada, England, New Zealand, or Australia would naturally say or write 8th January. It sounds unnatural to us Americans but that is just a tell that they aren’t American, not that they aren’t a native English speaker.
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u/Starless_Voyager2727 Jul 11 '25
This will end up on TikTok, being read by TTS with Subway Surfers on the background.
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u/BotGirlFall Jul 10 '25
This was certainly written by a human woman
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u/Vegetable_Ad3918 Mother, fetch me the finest vintage juice box Jul 10 '25
Me thinks you are biased, Bot Girl… /s
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u/hisimpendingbaldness I am a regular at Panda Express Jul 10 '25
Reddit hates blended families more. Bread winning wife is about 6 or 7 on the list
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u/Underzenith17 I’m not saying your nephew is the next Hitler Jul 10 '25
I’m sure this was written by a very real woman and not a bitter man 🙄
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u/JDDJS I wish I was a crack addict on skid row. Jul 10 '25
Man BORU is really garage. It's a nearly 4 year old post that has been deleted and the account has been blocked. It has no business being posted there.
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u/pastdivision Jul 10 '25
the phrase “dutiful wife” clued me in. nnnnnnnno fucking way this isn’t some dude trying to write a parable about how being a “working woman” will ruin your life and you have to be a barefoot and pregnant tradwife to be a valuable woman
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u/jamie_with_a_g NTA divorce and date! that! teenager!!!!! Jul 11 '25
Why is everyone ignoring that when she “abandoned her child’s birthday” he literally did too 😭😭😭
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u/OrdinaryWords Jul 10 '25
That's because they only hate women cheaters. And successful women who have been cheated on. Hmm... seems to be a common thread...
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u/combatwombat1192 I and my wife Jul 12 '25
I denied him sex.
Obviously not written by a woman. Only certain men treat sex like it's something you carry around in your bag like a packet of polo mints.
Whenever I talk to real life woman about their relationship, I've never once heard anyone say they "just don't have sex". It's usually that they have a medical issue or trauma.
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u/Leet_Noob Jul 10 '25
I can’t really respect someone who wants monogamy and doesn’t want to have sex with their partner. “You can’t have sex with anyone except me and you also can’t have sex with me!”
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u/Ok_Student_3292 dont call me a golf diger i've been called that enough Jul 10 '25
Right so you don't respect your partner's right to consent.
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u/Leet_Noob Jul 10 '25
No I respect consent- if my partner doesn’t want to have sex with me ever then we won’t have sex ever, period.
But consent is relevant to the people actually having sex. If I’m having sex with a third party, my partner’s input isn’t about consent/non-consent, it’s about rules they expect me to follow.
And personally I feel that those rules are unreasonable if my partner is never consenting to sex.
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u/Ok_Student_3292 dont call me a golf diger i've been called that enough Jul 10 '25
Punishing someone for not consenting by having an affair is not respecting consent.
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u/Leet_Noob Jul 10 '25
I’d agree that an affair isn’t ethical, much better to open the relationship or end it
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u/AutoModerator Jul 10 '25
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
My husband is cheating on me but I don't know if I can blame him.
**I am NOT OP. The OP of this story is u/Throwoffmyheart76_(Account since deleted).**
Trigger Warnings: Verbal and Emotional Abuse, Infidelity, Death, Mental Health Struggles.
Mood Spoilers: It ends about as well as it could've.
Added paragraph breaks for clarity.
My husband is cheating on me but I don't know if I can blame him., Posted 13th January, 2022 (Post since deleted, text taken from Rareddit).
Hear me out. I needed to get this off from my chest.
I'm 35F and he's 37M. We have two adorable children aged 5 and 9. Been married for 12 years. Within these 12 years, we've lost many of our relatives, friends, lost ourselves, grew together. I wanted to enhance my career and my husband helped me tremendously for that. He sold his business to help the kids while I worked my job. It also helped us pay off our house loan too. He became a full time stay home dad while I worked outside. It was rough for me too, having to work in a male dominated workforce while ensuring everything is okay. Without him, I couldn't have done this. I've lost both of my parents in 2020, and 2021 respectively and he lost his mother in 2021. Both of us were depressed combined with him not being able to vent out. I am an extrovert and had a lot of friends to talk to but he didn't. During October he met a single mom from our kid's school, and they began chatting casually. Let's call her S in this post.
I began to spend more and more time outside for job and venting out to friends. It was like a drug to me. I forgot the fact that I was neglecting someone and that someone is my husband. I denied him sex. At times I used to belittle him and argue. There were a lot going on my mind at that time coupled with the fact I lost my parents, was depressed, was in too deep in adrenaline rush. In December, it was our 5's birthday, but I had an urgent meeting. I know many of you are going to hate me for this but I am looking at a promotion this year and I really needed to visit that meeting. I wrapped up my meeting and was heading home when I got to know one of my friends had an accident and I was needed. I drove there and was late for my child's birthday. That night we got into a huge argument where he talked about I needed to get off about my parents, I yelled back at him and said very hurtful things. I told him he needed to "man up" because I was the one earning. It threw him off a little bit and he stormed out of house. He returned next day, we both apologized to each other, ultimately deciding to give us another shot. It was the first time we were intimate in months. He told me he loved me.
Christmas week, the guy who had an accident passes away, I was devastated because he was a childhood friend of mine. It plunged me further into depression. My husband wanted me to help but I yelled at him again. New year, I ruin his and our children's because of my stupid action which was to hangout with a friend of mine who returned back to the country after 3 years. I ended up spending the night at her place.
First week of January, I see him being distant and on 8th January, he gives me the divorce papers. Blindsiding me. I asked why..he told me he doesn't know who I am. I was not the person he thought I was. I changed and for worse. I don't ever talk to him(true) We weren't intimate(true), I belittle him in every step even though the sacrifices he made led us here(true), he wants someone to grow old together not someone who yells at him and demeans him, neglects family(true...) he wants us to go separate ways so we can both be happy, he doesn't thinks I'm happy(lie), he's tired to being a doormat and me making him feel insecure(lie. I never told anything that would hurt him) I made a mistake because I was stressed out and yelled at him. It was awful for him and me too. I wasn't the person who I used to be. Then he told me the truth of wanting a divorce. The day we got into an argument(our kid's birthday) he stormed out and went to S's house. They slept together. He confessed they both have feelings for each other, and it was the only time they did(he offered me his phone, passwords, accounts, everything) it was an emotional connection that turned physical just once. He told me he was broken and she mended him. Told me he is sorry but he has a right for happiness too. I told him I want to work on us. Do couples therapy and quit my job. I love this man, but he's done...He told me he will move out, I can keep the house...
Had I been a good spouse and partner to him, it wouldn't have happened.... It's a dead end for us. I love him. But I need to let him go for his own happiness...
Relevant Comments:
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Update: I signed the divorce papers. We are going ahead with divroce., Posted 26th January, 2022.
Backstory is in my profile. Been 5 days I've signed the papers. We are civil. It is a consensual divorce and hence shouldn't take mofe than 4-5 weeks. He offered me the house, he will move out. He will have primary custody of our kids because he was there present for them. I wasn't most of my time. The custody arrangement is going to take some time but otherwise we are good.
Two nights ago, we sat down and just broke down. We told each other how we feel and apologized to each other. I told him I was sorry I couldn't be a dutiful wife. It was good. I love this man more than I love myself but between out everyday life, I got lost. So lost I forgot him. I told him I won't wish him the best because he is the best. I also talked to S(see my last post) she apologized what happened and assured me that it was consensual, a one time thing and they both are attracted to each other. She told me it was very shameful of her and knows I can't forgive her and she is sorry nonetheless. I told her to take care of him because he's a wonderful soul. I'm seeing a therapist right now. It's awful. I've learnt many of my flaws and have to work on them.
There's a lot to still uncover but for now. I've accepted what I did. It isn't easy, but I've paved the way for my husband to cheat. It was me who put him through this road. We also plan to sit and tell our kids during the final week. They don't know kuch except mommy and daddy are going through a rough patch because daddy did something mommy hated. Apart from this, it's okayish. I have mental breakdowns in my work and I've met few friends. They understand what I'm going through but they're angry at me which is understandable and rightfully so. I don't know why I'm typing dhis except for me to get it off my chest, I love this man and I've treated him horribly. There's no excuse to that. Cheating was his fault and I can't change that but I can change myself for better. Our marriage is finally coming to an end and I feel numb. Absolutely numb. Only God knows what he has for me on the road ahead.
Edit: GUYS ENOUGH! I'M NOT LOOKING FOR SYM