r/AmITheAngel • u/Homicidal_Cynic • Jul 14 '25
Validation All these men are always trying to find some reason to justify hitting a woman
/r/AITAH/comments/1lzitcb/is_it_wrong_to_hit_a_girl_because_she_hit_you/124
Jul 14 '25
No, but they're right. I've come across some videos where a woman hit a guy then the guy basically pummels her until she's bloodied
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u/rhino369 Jul 14 '25
I’ve tried to explain this repeatedly on Reddit. Self defense is strictly limited to what is necessary to defend yourself.
If a woman half your size slaps you once and them you savagely beat her that’s vengeance not self defense. You would (and should) go to jail.
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u/CYaNextTuesday99 Jul 14 '25
I don't get people who think "doing it back" is actual self defense as opposed to kindergarten logic.
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u/rhino369 Jul 14 '25
They are applying Reddits golden rule: FAFO plus a heavy heaping of hatred of women.
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u/Acceptable_Fox_5560 Jul 14 '25
And Reddit's other golden rule: literally any provocation warrants literally any disproportionate response.
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u/loosie-loo Jul 14 '25
Especially if they’re a person you dislike or from a marginalised community!
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u/Heisenberg6626 Jul 14 '25
Or kids. Reddit hates kids.
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u/labcoat_samurai Jul 14 '25
Boy howdy do they. Hard to know for sure, but I tend to assume it's because they're barely out of childhood themselves a lot of the time.
It can take a little distance before you start to realize that kids are actually different and can't help being kids, so maybe don't get angry with them for not being tiny adults.
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u/Heisenberg6626 Jul 14 '25
I remember comments on an article about an adult beating the shit out of an 11 year old boy and they were screaming FAFO.
Sure the kid was dumb and cursed his mother but it's a fucking dumb kid. Let's also forget the fact that a kid might also have a disorder.
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u/labcoat_samurai Jul 14 '25
That sounds pretty awful. I saw one the other day where a kid accidentally stepped on a cat's tail. Then the other cat attacked the kid, who screamed in fear, and ultimately the cat was chased off by the family dog.
Comments were full of people tearing into the kid as annoying or a brat or whatever. They especially hated his scream.
And I was like.... guys, kids don't react to fear the same way grown ups do. Cut him some slack...
My daughter only recently grew out of absolutely needing to have a band-aid for every tiny scratch. Yes, it's silly. Kids act silly. They aren't adults.
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u/jesuspoopmonster Jul 14 '25
" I hate kids and am child free. I am a very mature adult 14 year old. Not like by stupid baby brother who is 11. He is such a baby. He has Switch because he is a stupid kid. I am an adult with an X Box Series S. He is playing Pokemon and probably eating a bottle while I play Fortnight and one time while fishing Uncle Ron let me taste his beer."
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u/CYaNextTuesday99 Jul 14 '25
I love FAFO as a concept but the FO needs to be proportional to the FA.
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u/Acceptable_Fox_5560 Jul 14 '25
Yeah, it's fucking stupid. Self-defense is stopping her from hitting you, not hitting her back.
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u/Miss-Stasha Jul 14 '25
Will she stop hitting you if you hit her once? If so, then mission accomplished.
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u/jesuspoopmonster Jul 14 '25
Will she stop hitting you if you push her away or leave? If so mission accomplished
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u/Heisenberg6626 Jul 14 '25
Redditors trying to understand excessive force challenge. (Impossible)
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u/rhino369 Jul 14 '25
Redditors applying the Uncle Jimbo rule (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr0bBuI8HKM) to beat their nonexistent wives.
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u/Kadajko Jul 14 '25
While true, ethically and legally, that you should defend yourself only with appropriate force and go to jail if you overdo it, the reason I think it is not misogyny is because in practice it would actually be equal. What I mean by that is usually in a fight men do not adjust based on strength, if a weak short man slaps a big strong "bodybuilder", he will also pummel that small man into the ground.
So while true that it should not happen in the first place and self defense should be proportionate, men usually don't use proportionate strength when defending themself from a weaker man, so if they treat women equally, women will get the same treatment. Makes sense?
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u/Dusktilldamn I presume she was advised by a slutty mate as usual Jul 14 '25
No? That does not in fact make sense.
If a scrawny guy slaps a professional MMA fighter then that guy can't beat him to a pulp either.
As the comments above explained, self defense is about defending yourself from danger, not "you hit me first so it's fair game I do whatever"
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u/Kadajko Jul 14 '25
If a scrawny guy slaps a professional MMA fighter then that guy can't beat him to a pulp either.
Legally can't, morally shouldn't, practically probably will.
It is - what should be Vs how it works in practice.
You just don't understand my point. Most men grew up with the idea that retaliation is fair game, no one was really taught extensively, conditioned socially to watch their strength disparity. If as a scrawny dude will go into the street and slap a stronger man, 90% of the time that man will not think "Damn, he looks weak, better watch my strength" he will just pummel him. Right now that is just the case and it is what it is, even though it is wrong and no one should be pummeled.
So if right now, with how things are, you apply this concept equally to women, they will also equally get pummeled.
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u/spyridonya EDIT: [extremely vital information] Jul 14 '25
And some dudes wonder why women picked the bear.
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u/Dusktilldamn I presume she was advised by a slutty mate as usual Jul 14 '25
Yeah Jesus Christ this guy is insane. Claiming women don't face disproportionate violence but pretending he's not manosphere material... And of course HIS anecdote about a woman punching a man proves his entire worldview.
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u/Kadajko Jul 14 '25
No, I don't operate like you, literally mentioned in the same breath that it was anecdotal evidence. You are the one who is constructing your whole world view based on your personal experiences.
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u/jesuspoopmonster Jul 14 '25
"I can't believe women would pick the bear. It makes me so mad I could just beat them"/s
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u/Dusktilldamn I presume she was advised by a slutty mate as usual Jul 14 '25
I don't think you speak for most men, definitely not for the men I surround myself with.
But the point is that these are intersecting issues that contribute to disproportionate violence against women. Even if most men who do this had no underlying misogynist biases the outcome is still highly gendered, making it a massive gender issue. As evidenced by this post, which is obvious backlash against the very discussion of this problem.
And this post actually showcases a huge factor in violence against women that's absent from your "it's just equality" explanation: the idea that women get too uppity and think they're untouchable and need to be knocked down a peg, to be demonstrated the reality of their inferiority, to be shown how superior men are and how only men's "niceness" protects them from men's violence. That's how men who beat up women think, that's the attitude that leads to posts like this. Not innocent naiveté but disdain.
I don't think I've ever seen anyone actually argue that men can't defend themselves against women, so why do you think this topic always comes up? Why is this such a debate? Why are there a million of these fake ass reddit fantasies about hitting women?
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u/Kadajko Jul 14 '25
I don't think you speak for most men, definitely not for the men I surround myself with.
Anecdotal evidence, we will all have our personal experiences.
But the point is that these are intersecting issues that contribute to disproportionate violence against women.
Women do not face disproportionate violence. At least not due their gender
Even if most men who do this had no underlying misogynist biases the outcome is still highly gendered making it a massive gender issue.
Why?
the idea that women get too uppity and think they're untouchable and need to be knocked down a peg, to be demonstrated the reality of their inferiority, to be shown how superior men are and how only men's "niceness" protects them from men's violence.
You AND manosphere are making it about gender but it does not have to be, anyone who is uppity and thinks they are untouchable can be knocked down a peg, regardless of gender.
That's how men who beat up women think, that's the attitude that leads to posts like this. Not innocent naiveté but disdain.
I disagree, I've seen enough women on men violence that could not be answered due to sexism.
I don't think I've ever seen anyone actually argue that men can't defend themselves against women, so why do you think this topic always comes up?
There is an enormous amount of people who think that men can't defend themselves against women in any situation for whatever reason.
Why are there a million of these fake ass reddit fantasies about hitting women?
I've seen it in real life plenty. Example: Just riding a bus home after a night out at the club, woman stands above a man and slaps him hard, bloodies his nose, he tries to smile while his guy friends laugh and cheer her on, she shows her tongue laughs and continues to hit his face hard. I've seen SO many similar instances, but obviously anecdotal evidence and personal life experiences.
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Jul 14 '25
if a weak short man slaps a big strong "bodybuilder", he will also pummel that small man into the ground.
That would also not be considered self defense, and that bodybuilder guy could definitely and rightfully get arrested and charged for that.
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u/Kadajko Jul 14 '25
Yes. What is your point? You did not contradict anything I have said and I agree with what you said here.
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u/rhino369 Jul 14 '25
It’s misogyny that the right of women they are most concerned with is the right to be pummeled.
Being treated the same isn’t always equal.
“I call white folks monkey,”’ said the self proclaimed not racist,
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u/neverabetterday “You think your little rape was a coincidence?” Jul 14 '25
It’s incest boy. He hates women, think a third of rape victims are liars, and supports incest.
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u/Kadajko Jul 14 '25
Being treated the same isn’t always equal.
Hard disagree. You can offer privileges to struggling individuals to offset their shortcomings but that is not equality. Being treated the same is in fact equality. For example offering exclusive parking for disabled individuals - that is justified inequality.
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u/rhino369 Jul 14 '25
If that’s your definition of equality then most people (rightfully) don’t agree with equality as you define it. I don’t.
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u/Kadajko Jul 14 '25
That is how equality works yes, that is the definition of equal. In the case of disability it can be ok, but gender is not a disability, women are not less capable than men.
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u/Acceptable_Fox_5560 Jul 14 '25
Reddit is obsessed with this bizarre notion of absolutism in "equality." How about instead we use basic fucking common sense?
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u/Kadajko Jul 14 '25
It is not bizarre, the differences within the groups "men" and "women" outweigh the differences between the groups as a whole, and become abysmal once you remove social conditioning and gender roles. It is irrational to be sexist and treat men and women differently.
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u/Acceptable_Fox_5560 Jul 14 '25
No it isn’t, but Redditors hate context.
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u/Kadajko Jul 14 '25 edited Jul 14 '25
So you are sexist, congrats. Be better.
And you are right, I don't think there is any context in which sexism is ok.
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u/Acceptable_Fox_5560 Jul 14 '25
This fantasy where yall think it’s sexist to not want to punch a woman is goofy.
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u/Kadajko Jul 14 '25 edited Jul 14 '25
Only if you would punch a man in a similar situation, it is not about the action, but about the double standard.
Obviously for the 100th time - you shouldn't go around punching anyone, but if a man would be punched in that situation then so should the woman. One's gender should not play any role in your decision making.
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u/Acceptable_Fox_5560 Jul 14 '25
Yes it should because context exists, you absolute pod person.
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u/jesuspoopmonster Jul 14 '25
You're very close. A man using excessive force against a weaker woman is bad. What would it be if it was a man using excessive for against another man?
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u/Kadajko Jul 14 '25
It would be the exact same thing. And it is wrong, but happens all the time, is socially acceptable.
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u/jesuspoopmonster Jul 14 '25
It is wrong and not socially acceptable. They are both wrong. Two things being wrong, even if it happens, doesn't make them okay
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u/Kadajko Jul 14 '25
Yes, but it is not because it is wrong to hit women, it is because it is wrong to hit anyone. You understand the difference?
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u/Mikula_Yoohoo Jul 14 '25
Does anyone here remember that one story in which the woman pops her partner’s back pimple after he told her no and he beats the shit out of her, breaking her jaw? I remember the comments were super supportive of him
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u/legend_of_the_skies Jul 14 '25
Yeah. Returning a punch isn't even self defense. If you don't try to avoid fighting, your just starting a fight by retaliating. Self defense involves a current threat. If they are not still actively trying to hit you there's no threat.
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Jul 14 '25
In most cases, returning a punch would be self defense. Because if they punched you once, that threat is most certainly a current threat unless the other party is actively walking away and disengaging.
Now if someone punches you once, and you return with punching them 10x, then no, that isn't self defense.
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u/legend_of_the_skies Jul 14 '25
"Most cases" are a single punch or hit though. Just like this one was until he escalated by retaliating. When you hit back they're going to hit back. That's no longer stupid defense, you're just fighting them.
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Jul 14 '25
This wasn't a single hit though. First, she knocked his books out of his hands, then she slapped him. Then she proceeded hit him him an unspecified amount of more times.
If he hits back only once, that is the definition of self defense. The escalation was all done on her part.
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u/Miss-Stasha Jul 14 '25
The first punch thrown is the person starting a fight, not the person who reacted.
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u/Kehprei Jul 14 '25
Responding to a hit by immediately hitting back should be the go-to reaction. It's clear self defense and prevents you from being harmed in the future.
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u/legend_of_the_skies Jul 14 '25
If they had no intention of hitting you again you caused your own threat by retaliating.
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u/Far_Bobcat_7073 Jul 14 '25
Why tf would you hit someone in the first place? Being weak doesn't give you any right to go and punch the stronger one. In fact no one should hit another person at all
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u/legend_of_the_skies Jul 14 '25
No one said otherwise. We are talking bout reacting once you are hit.
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u/Kehprei Jul 14 '25
Not at all.
If you allow people to hit you with no retaliation, you invite future attacks. If someone thinks they can freely bully you whenever they want, they will continue to do so.
You are preventing future instances of that person physically taking advantage of you as a punching bag.
Besides all of that...
How the fuck are you gonna tell if someone intends to hit you more?? If you're just immediately responding to their hit by hitting them back it's just a fight that they started. It's not like I'm saying it's okay to think about it for a minute and then go attack them after the threat has passed.
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u/Miss-Stasha Jul 14 '25
Continue to punch back until you know the person who initiated it first stops punching.
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u/legend_of_the_skies Jul 14 '25
If they are still actively attacking you and you can't run away or de-escalate, which should be attempted first, then by all means.
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Jul 15 '25
The punishment for domestic violence (in my state) rests on the primary aggressor, the person who uses the most force in the situation. If your little 5 foot wife hits you and you knock her down a flight of stairs, breaking a bone, *you‘re* the one going to jail.
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u/Far_Basil2525 The next day I got a perfectly fine erection Jul 14 '25
I didn’t fight at first, but then she got more and more apprehensive
I think you meant to use “aggressive,” Sir Charles Dickens.
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u/Kel-Mitchell Granted, I don’t feel my husband when we have sex Jul 14 '25
At least there's consistency here: this really does feel like it was written by a teenage remedial English student.
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u/legend_of_the_skies Jul 14 '25
She got more "Apprehensive"... and then you told her to use her nice words... Jesus H Christ. These kids are doomed.
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u/Lyskir Jul 14 '25
damn all the women hating basment goblins came out of their cave
"equal rights and equal lefts" as if men didnt beat up women since the dawn of time
weird how they only care about equality when they think they get punch a woman, some dude in the comments even said he would not even wait until he gets punched, fucking incel
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u/burgerking351 Jul 14 '25 edited Jul 14 '25
OOP is 16, in my experience, girls classmates hitting boys does happen at that age. So the "why can't we fight back" argument was common. Although it seems like a nonsensical argument, I get why they keep bringing it up. Once you become an adult it becomes a rare issue that you don't really need to think about.
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u/Miss-Stasha Jul 14 '25
Point is if it is okay to strike back AFTER a woman hits a man. Not talking about before.
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u/suhhhrena Jul 14 '25 edited Jul 14 '25
I didn’t even bother reading this post because I just KNEW it was gonna be full of loser ass dudes just foaming at the mouth for the opportunity to talk about how they’d beat a woman’s ass in a “justified” situation.
I don’t need that in my life lmao
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u/burgerking351 Jul 14 '25
I think that instead of using "don't hit women" as a blanket statement. People need to explain to their kids what appropriate self defense actually is. Cause as you mentioned there are men who takes things very far in the name of "self defense".
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u/neverabetterday “You think your little rape was a coincidence?” Jul 14 '25
People know what self defense is. These guys just want an excuse to be violent
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u/burgerking351 Jul 14 '25 edited Jul 14 '25
Unfortunately a lot of people I've been around don't know what self defense is in a legal sense. They think self defense is "if I get touched then I can light you up". I've seen altercations where one person is literally begging the other person to touch them so they can have a 'reason' to attack. A lot don't know about duty to retreat, reasonable belief of danger, etc.
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u/MrsDoylesTeabags Jul 14 '25
That reads like an 80s John Hughes teen comedy. Can't they at least try to make their stories believable?
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u/PickledBih Jul 14 '25
Nobody got suspended because they both hit each other, huh? As opposed to, idk, the usual protocol of everyone involved getting suspended.
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u/cpcfax1 Jul 14 '25 edited Jul 14 '25
OOP's account could have been somewhat plausible regarding only the instigator of the fight was scolded and harshly punished(lengthy suspension or even expulsion if the fight was serious and/or the aggressor student already had a record of previous negative/violent behavior) PROVIDED, 1. This occurred 40+ years ago, not the last 2+ decades 2. The one who punched OOP was male(Punching girls was never allowed EVEN if they threw the first punch at my elementary school in the 1980's), 3. OOP was the same size or much smaller/weaker than the aggressor student.(If OOP is much bigger/stronger, he was expected to be the "bigger man" and exercise more self-discipline & restraint as that was part of the form of masculinity imparted by the school and most fathers and older adult male childhood neighbors).
In any event, if this had occurred as OOP described, OOP would have been regarded as committing the greater offense in the same light as the bigger/stronger student who failed to exercise restraint against a smaller/weaker student....even if the latter was the instigator.
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u/Lubricated_Sorlock Jul 14 '25
That's the usual protocol in the US, yes. OP is very clearly not from the US, though.
It still sounds like bupkis, but zero tolerance schools is not the norm around the world.
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u/thaliathraben "I think fetishizing 'exotic' women is hereditary" Jul 14 '25
Do these people never imagine...walking away?
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u/Shadowboltx777 gta 6 mud girl Jul 14 '25
Why would they imagine the scenario that would happen in real life when they can play out their sick fantasies of beating up women instead? /s
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u/suhhhrena Jul 14 '25
Hell no!! If there’s an opportunity to hit a woman, you know they’ll take it 🤪
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u/Aggravating_Pay_5245 Jul 14 '25 edited Jul 14 '25
So someone when someone humiliates you by slapping you in front of people, you just let them slap you? To get even further humiliated? Great logic
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u/thaliathraben "I think fetishizing 'exotic' women is hereditary" Jul 14 '25
If the only salve to your ego is escalation that is a problem you need to deal with on your own.
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u/Aggravating_Pay_5245 Jul 14 '25
Look man, if you want to be Gandhi you can. That would make you a saint, but the aggressor would learn nothing out of this. They would do the same thing to another person
I believe in Tit for Tat. Whatever you do, you should face appropriate consequences for it. If a girl slaps you, and you bodyslam her and permanently disfigure her face, no I never support that. But if a girl slaps you, and you defend yourself from that, or you give her one slap back if you couldn't defend yourself from the attack, that's completely justified.
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u/thaliathraben "I think fetishizing 'exotic' women is hereditary" Jul 14 '25
I would simply walk away from a situation where someone is looking for a fight instead of giving them what they want. Let me know how your plan works out for you though.
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u/Aggravating_Pay_5245 Jul 14 '25
By your logic every victim of bullying could also just "take it" or "walk away" instead of doing anything back. It isn't easy to just "walk away" or "ignore" certain situations.
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u/thaliathraben "I think fetishizing 'exotic' women is hereditary" Jul 14 '25
At what point did I say "take it"?
You're doing exactly what's being discussed -- trying to find an excuse for violence in a situation where it's justified. My point is that you should be looking for alternate solutions instead of trying to find a reason for why you're the good guy for punching back.
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u/Acceptable_Fox_5560 Jul 14 '25
Man vs. Man, I'm probably walking away because people are NUTS and I'm not losing my life in a fight over my ego.
Man vs. Woman, I'm DEFINITELY walking away, because 1) I don't want to hit a woman 2) I don't have to hit a woman.
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u/spyridonya EDIT: [extremely vital information] Jul 14 '25
You're why women picked the bear.
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u/Aggravating_Pay_5245 Jul 14 '25
As if the bear will welcome them in their loving arms.
Bear will send them to the afterworld. Even greater logic. Again, coming from a mere redditor, what else to even expect. All femcels
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u/spyridonya EDIT: [extremely vital information] Jul 14 '25
You're a moron with no self-awareness or a troll.
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u/Aggravating_Pay_5245 Jul 14 '25
I believe in Tit for Tat. Not tolerating people's bs. They will do the same thing to someone else if you just let them do it.
If you let a bully hit you, they'll best case leave you cuz they're bored. But they will just pick a new victim.. Is it better for you to leave them as it is or teach them a lesson so that they never dare to pick on someone else again?
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u/Gabby_Craft Red flag alert sis🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Jul 14 '25
It’s not even about being humiliated, think about the real world. Even if you’re a body builder in the real world people will pull out a weapon quick, and people lose their lives over stuff like that all the time.
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u/DisciplineRadiant212 Jul 14 '25
Op saw some of the bullying dramas and decided to write a situational story.
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u/brynnors Jul 14 '25
There was a slapping post yesterday or saturday, figured that's where this one spawned from.
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u/yoy22 Jul 14 '25
It’s not wrong to want to defend yourself, but it IS odd how much time people will spend imagining scenarios where it’s okay to punch a woman
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u/Kehprei Jul 14 '25
People like envisioning scenarios where entitled people get put in their place. Just because it happens to be a woman this time doesn't mean its for misogynistic reasons.
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u/littletinyfella Jul 14 '25
The whole “equal rights equal fights” argument is dumb as hell because like
The true equality is nobody hits anybody but god forbid we step down from our misogynist power fantasies for two seconds
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u/Kehprei Jul 14 '25
We don't live in a utopia where no one hits anyone, so we have to account for the cases where people act violent. It's not misogynistic to hit a woman back after she hits you.
If anything it's misogynistic to refuse to hit women for any reason.
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u/littletinyfella Jul 14 '25 edited Jul 14 '25
Perhaps you misunderstand my point.
When i said “misogynist power fantasies” im referring to the men who are aching to be hit by a woman so they can hit them back in “self defense” the whole “equal rights equal fights” argument is said in bad faith to imply that getting pummeled by a man is the drawback of progressing further in acceptance of feminism. Its bad faith misogyny, and my point is that true equality isnt “men get to hit women back” true equality is “men dont get hit either”
Obviously we dont live in a utopia, and never will. My point was moreso to point out how idiotic and misogynistic these arguments tend to be when they devolve like they do in the original thread’s comments.
Edit: OBVIOUSLY you have the right to defend yourself, but it would be dishonest to act like these conversations on self defense in regards to gender arent marred in misogyny and men aching to hit women because its self defense. Its not normal or okay to be excited at the idea of committing real tangible violence on another person, but it is rational and fine to defend yourself properly from violence.
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u/Kehprei Jul 14 '25
True equality is both "men dont get hit either" AND "women who physically attack a man will receive physical retaliation."
If no one is being hit (utopia) then it works fine. Next best is retaliation is allowed.
The reason people so vehemently agree they want to hit the woman in this situation isn't due to misogyny. Its due to the crazy level of entitlement that the person has.
The idea that you can unprovoked physically strike someone without retaliation is absurd. No one is allowed that for any reason. People enjoy seeing entitled people put in their place.
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u/neverabetterday “You think your little rape was a coincidence?” Jul 14 '25
No. Retaliation is not self defense. No one has a right to retaliation. You don’t have a right to hit someone for being entitled.
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u/Kehprei Jul 14 '25
You have a right to hit someone who hits you first. You need to use somewhat proportional force, so you can't beat the shit out of someone for slapping you, but slapping back even harder would be fine.
Retaliation is self defense. If you let people hit you without any retaliation you teach them that they can walk all over to you. The last thing you want is someone to feel like they are entitled to hitting you.
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u/littletinyfella Jul 14 '25
Whatever hill you wanna die on is your business but ive made my point clear
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u/littletinyfella Jul 14 '25
Upon thinking about this further i find it bizarre that you seem to disagree with me, or maybe im misunderstanding your point.
I was adamant in my comment that self defense is fine when necessary but that there is a cultural aspect to this gendered debate on self defense that veers into misogynist talking points.
its fine to defend oneself so long as its stopping the immediate threat, but what im talking about specifically is the clear implications and intentions of men who bring up the “equal rights equal fights argument”
Because most socially progressive people would agree that you can defend yourself from any threat regardless of gender identity or sex, but again, that there is a bizarre emphasis from men towards the idea of hitting women “back”
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u/CremeBerlinoise one fine day she disappeared Jul 14 '25
Speaking as a woman, my biggest concern is also that someone might not hit me when they should, based on the average redditors understanding of self defense. Definitely not like getting murdered.
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u/UpperComplex5619 Jul 14 '25
she just walked up to him and started hitting books and him out of nowhere. this definitely happened and im definitely sixteen!
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u/erosead Babe? Cmon. PMS? Jul 14 '25
He did mention later that “she said I called her a whore”, which he doesn’t deny. This of course gets him punished as the instigator, not the physical violence done by either
I swear to god I saw almost the same plotline play out in glee
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u/Kehprei Jul 14 '25
Istg people here think nothing ever happens. I have personally had a girl just randomly slap me for no reason at that age (we weren't even interacting with each other).
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u/UpperComplex5619 Jul 14 '25
would you have felt so confused you posted about it to reddit? also it wasnt for no reason, oop said he called her a whore.
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u/Miss-Stasha Jul 14 '25
Only if they hit first to protect themselves. What is the issue?
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u/neverabetterday “You think your little rape was a coincidence?” Jul 14 '25
That it’s a made up story designed to farm Reddit points
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u/Kehprei Jul 14 '25
I personally had something very similar happen to me when I was around the same age. I wasn't interacting with this one girl in any way and she slapped me.
It happens.
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u/Powerful_Cow_2883 Jul 14 '25
This one may be made up. But it doesnt mean situtaions like this are a fairytale, billions of people live in world and things like this happen EVERYDAY in EVERYPART of the world. Also so many women do tend to milk the "I'm a girl you can't hit me" card to jusitfy when they throw hands. Wake up okay? Reddit aint no real life and ppl wont care what your gender is in a fight. They will just attack.
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u/neverabetterday “You think your little rape was a coincidence?” Jul 14 '25
Genuine question: how old are you?
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u/Powerful_Cow_2883 Jul 14 '25
20 and let me tell you something else, im son of a police officer of 28 years. I been to diffrent cities diffrent police precints, saw diffrent cases criminals and shit. Not from usa but still just because you dont see them happening doesnt mean they dont happen. Believe me when i say this , you have no idea the shit happens in your neighboorhood let alone city until you listen police radios watch city cameras check police reports. Incredibly disgusting things happen that dont drop to mainstream media daily
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u/neverabetterday “You think your little rape was a coincidence?” Jul 14 '25
Of course you’re 20. Being the son of a cop doesn’t mean anything and is irrelevant to the conversation. No one here is saying that men aren’t allowed to defend themselves. No one who actually supports women’s rights thinks men aren’t allowed to defend themselves. No actual court of law takes “men can’t hit women ever regardless of context” seriously.
The problem here is that OOP made up a completely false scenario to justify hitting women as a means of perpetuating this myth that those who oppose violence against women think men shouldn’t be allowed to defend themselves. If a woman attacks you, you are perfectly within your rights to respect proportionally, ie if she slaps you on the forehead you can’t shoot her at point blank range with a desert eagle. When women speak about violence against women, what we’re talking about is domestic violence, rape, murder, infanticide of female children, etc., not self defense.
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u/Narrun Jul 14 '25
This.
Hit me and I'll hit you back no matter what you've got between your legs.
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u/lovedinaglassbox Jul 14 '25
I'm guessing you wouldn't be quick to hit a guy twice your size.
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u/Narrun Jul 15 '25
What?
Of course I would (and did) if he starts. Especially with bigger guys who in the assumed scenario would randomly start a fist fight with a smaller guy just cause he feels like it.
If you show those guys weakness it's over.
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u/Kehprei Jul 14 '25
I'm not sure this is the winning argument you think it is... do you think guys just let big guys hit them without retaliation? It's not like they're saying to randomly attack someone bigger than them.
Why are you even siding with the attacker here?? Like no shit they'd be more capable and willing to defend themselves against someone weaker.
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u/lovedinaglassbox Jul 14 '25
I think you have no choice what someone twice your size does to you.
I'm siding with logic. When you defend yourself, you can only use the amount of strength it takes to subdue your opponent. Just let me preface this with saying I never hit anyone because I know men jump at the chance to pummel women bloody.
So if I slapped a man, he would suffer much less than if he hit me. I would fall over. I'm petite and weak.
And to be honest, if a man hit back with the same strength, it would be nothing. Because my slap is nothing. But they don't do that. They punch with all their might and can makr you go fly over the room.
If that's the case, then we should make laws that women like me, who are weak as shit, can stab someone if they get hit. Since I can't hit as strong as a man, and men are just dying to make the fight equal.
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u/Kehprei Jul 14 '25
I think you have no choice what someone twice your size does to you.
Just blatantly false. Size isn't everything in a fight. Even if it was, you can make sure that they feel some sort of pain to dissuade them from doing anything in the future. Not to mention weapons are great equalizers.
When you defend yourself, you can only use the amount of strength it takes to subdue your opponent.
Escalating slightly to defend yourself is perfectly fine. If someone slaps you, it's fine to slap them back even harder. You can't like, beat the shit out of someone for a slap obviously, but no one is advocating for that.
Just let me preface this with saying I never hit anyone because I know men jump at the chance to pummel women bloody.
Are you just a sexist...? or what? If anything the majority of men have the annoying white knight perspective of "you can never ever hit a girl no matter what!!!!", sorta like in this thread honestly. Both "you shouldn't ever hit a woman!" and "beat the shit out of women" are extreme stances that should be discouraged.
It's good that you understand you shouldn't be attacking random people unprovoked though. It's more than we can say for the woman in OP's story, or what has happened to me irl.
So if I slapped a man, he would suffer much less than if he hit me. I would fall over. I'm petite and weak.
Petite and weak people shouldn't start fights unprovoked. No one should start violence unprovoked, really, but ESPECIALLY people who cannot back it up lmao. I would have 0 sympathy for you if you tried to randomly attack a man and got knocked to the ground for being an idiot.
If that's the case, then we should make laws that women like me, who are weak as shit, can stab someone if they get hit.
This is kind-of already the case legally. You have the right to lethal self defense if you believe your life is in danger, and women are more likely to feel that their life is in danger. If you're attacked by a man twice your size and decide to shoot + kill him, it's not like you'll be convicted of murder. It would just be self defense.
I would suggest against a knife though, since they're likely to just take it from you and stab you.
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u/lovedinaglassbox Jul 14 '25
So because of my size and gender, I should learn to keep mouth shut. Loud and clear.
I'm not in the US btw, shoot and kill.
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u/Kehprei Jul 14 '25
So because of my size and gender, I should learn to keep mouth shut. Loud and clear.
Where did I say that? Feel free to point out where you think I did, because I 100% never did.
If I type "weak people shouldn't start physical fights" and you hear "because of my size and gender I should learn to keep my mouth shut" then you have a reading comprehension issue.
I'm not in the US btw, shoot and kill.
You'd likely be better off with some sort of pepper spray then. Knives are just a bad idea. Unlikely to actually kill an attacker but will make them much more likely to kill you.
No matter what country you live in I maintain that if you believe your life is in danger you should be able to defend it with lethal force.
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u/Kehprei Jul 15 '25
No response after attempting to lie about what I said? Interesting.
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u/lovedinaglassbox Jul 15 '25
I'm not responding to someone who tells me I'm not worth the same as a man. Don't get too mad about it.
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u/Kehprei Jul 15 '25
Never said that anywhere. Again you're just lying about what I said. Or your reading comprehension is just that horrible.
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Jul 14 '25
Not sure if it's what you're implying. But personally, I would never hit someone first. I don't instigate or start things. But if a guy twice my size hit me first, it's a guarantee that I am going to defend myself and hit back.
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u/lovedinaglassbox Jul 14 '25
But that's the thing. If a guy hits you, wouldn't walking away be the best defense? Otherwise, you have no chance. You're out and they can do to you whatever they want.
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Jul 14 '25
If a guy hits you, chances are he's looking for a fight and walking away means he has an easy at chance at sneaking you.
The time to walk away is before violence begins.
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u/SirRegardTheWhite Jul 14 '25
Exactly. Don't pick a fight you aren't ready to take.
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u/lovedinaglassbox Jul 14 '25
But then he's lying, it matters to him what's between your legs. Given that women are generally weaker than men.
If you only hit back when someone weaker hits you but not when someone stronger? That's a loser thing.
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u/heyvictimstopcryin Jul 14 '25
Why are you justifying that it’s okay to hit a man?
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u/Lyskir Jul 14 '25
Why are you justifying that it’s okay to hit a woman?
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u/Kehprei Jul 14 '25
It's okay to hit anyone who hits you first. Simple.
No one is saying it's okay to hit a woman out of nowhere.
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u/Miss-Stasha Jul 14 '25
It's crazy how many support violence from women against men. Look at the downvotes.
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u/neverabetterday “You think your little rape was a coincidence?” Jul 14 '25
No they don’t. Like I said, the problem is making up stories like this. This is a subreddit for making fun of bullshit Reddit stories. We see a fake story, we laugh at it. Ain’t that deep.
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u/Emergency_Survey_143 Jul 14 '25
So if Floyd Mayweather or Connor McGregor hit you first, you're hitting them back too?
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u/Narrun Jul 15 '25
Well I'd try. Chances are, I'd be out after the first strike but that's another story.
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u/Aggravating_Pay_5245 Jul 14 '25
The person never justified hitting a woman.
Fake story or not, hitting the girl in this particular case was completely justified. FAFO
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u/ForsaketheVoid Jul 14 '25
I think it's just an AITA trend to come up with the most ridiculous stories so that it'd be hypothetically justified to hit a woman.
Like "OK, but what if she were evil, and she hit me first, and I have PTSD, and she kicked my dog. Could I give her a concussion then?"
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u/Aggravating_Pay_5245 Jul 14 '25
I get what you're saying. Doesn't change the fact that women abusers and female bullies exist, and you should definitely NOT hold back in defending yourself just because the aggressor is a woman
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u/Kehprei Jul 14 '25
I feel like people on this subreddit belong in r/nothingeverhappens
Like, is this story made up? Maybe, but it's also something that happens all the time. Hell, back when I was a kid before transitioning I had almost this exact same scenario happen. Girl just slapped me for no reason at random.
I didn't hit back but I would've been 100% justified in doing so.
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Jul 14 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Aggravating_Pay_5245 Jul 14 '25
so self defense is bad now huh?
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Jul 14 '25
[deleted]
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u/Aggravating_Pay_5245 Jul 14 '25
as they should. They should defend themselves irrespective of the aggressor's gender.
Yeah I def not support making up stories for clout, but when someone posts any incident on a serious sub, you should go with the prior assumption that their story is true. You can call it fake later if it sounds like so, but your first reaction should be based on what if the story's true. If you look at it like that, everyone is saying fake stuff everywhere
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u/larrydavid2681 I love gaslighting Jul 14 '25
idk why ur getting downvoted. we all know it’s a fake story. obviously if someone is beating up on you you should be able to defend yourself
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u/angel_wannabe Jul 14 '25
the point is it’s a fake story invented to prove that it’s okay to hit women in some scenarios, the response to that shouldn’t be “well yes in this scenario it WOULD be okay” it’s “why did you make up this story you weirdo”
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u/larrydavid2681 I love gaslighting Jul 14 '25
i think the response is more towards people saying it’s never okay to hit women though
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u/Lyskir Jul 14 '25
i mean men beat up women since forever, nobody believed in the "not hiting women" bit same with women and children first, it never existed
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u/huckleberrypudding Jul 14 '25
Yea because men are constantly hitting women and for whatever reason need to be told this explicitly. “Don’t ever hit women” is a response to domestic abuse being so common…
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u/Miss-Stasha Jul 14 '25
So people are not allowed to protect themselves? It doesn't matter what gender involved.
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u/Gabby_Craft Red flag alert sis🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Jul 14 '25
Ofc you can but with reasonable force. You can’t beat someone to near death over every offense.
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u/Miss-Stasha Jul 14 '25
I agree to that. Only enough to stop the situation. Beating someone to near death is way out of line.
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u/heyvictimstopcryin Jul 14 '25
Why are you justifying that it’s okay to hit a man and a man can never defend himself?
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u/Lyskir Jul 14 '25
its not the hitting back part, its the fantazising about making up a scenario were you can hit a woman and even rejects appropiate force to defend yourself, they outright want to knock her out or worse for a slap, everytime a thread like that gets posted men are frothing at the mouth and being hyped about beating up women
ton of them almost fetishzies it, probably some even masturbate to that shit, the entire topic is sick because "never hit a woman" want even a thing, men never had any issues beating women up
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u/legend_of_the_skies Jul 14 '25
Read to comprehend. People can't understand what's being said for you.
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Jul 14 '25
[deleted]
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u/Aggravating_Pay_5245 Jul 14 '25
He didn't hit the girl to a pulp fyi. He just "hit back", which can be assumed to be mere self defence
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u/Fit-Breakfast-3116 Jul 14 '25
Yes but there’s absolutely a wider trend which is what this post and my comment is referring to, these subs are filled what what ifs that aim to justify being shitty to someone else in a variety of forms. It’s not just a reddit thing, I know plenty of people IRL who are actively keen to have an excuse to hit someone.
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u/Aggravating_Pay_5245 Jul 14 '25
Well if a girl slaps you and you fucking bodyslam her onto the ground and permanently disfigure her head, would I ever support that? No. That's too much and you should be jailed
But if a girl slaps you and you defend yourself from the slap, or if she has already slapped you then you give her a slap back, I don't think that's a bad thing. You should not hold back on retaliating just because of the gender of your aggressor.
People in this comment section don't seem to understand this basic logic. Also, yeah if you mean making up fake stories for fantasizing or clout, yeah we also never support that. But you know, when someone tells you a story about what happened with them, no matter how fake it sounds, your first reaction should be how you would react if the story was true, because it could be. After that you can call the story fake if it sounds like so. You should go with the base assumption at first that what if the story is true. Everyone is saying fake stories all the time, everywhere.
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u/neverabetterday “You think your little rape was a coincidence?” Jul 14 '25
My guy you’re doing the exact thing people are annoyed with, making up stupid hypotheticals. The purpose of this sub is making fun of Reddit stories. If you wanna assume everything you read on the internet is true then go elsewhere
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Jul 14 '25
While I agree with you completely. This post isn't even that. The guy did not beat her to a pulp, or anything close to it in this instance.
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u/AutoModerator Jul 14 '25
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
Is it wrong to hit a girl because she hit you first?
So I’m 16 and I’m in high school, and I’m usually the nice guy who doesn’t give a shit.
But yesterday, a girl came up to me, and decided it would be a nice idea to knock the book I was reading(meluha) out of my hands.
I didn’t fight at first, but then she got more and more apprehensive until I said, “listen if you don’t have anything good to Say, why waste your words?”
then she looked all offended and slapped me, and started hitting me, but then, I had enough so I slapped her back.
she fell to the floor, but luckily none of us got suspended as the principal said “both of you hit each other, it’s equal”
but now like most of my friends are saying “not cool man, you can’t hit girls”
I mean like, I was only defending myself, so AITAH?
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