Hello All, Im writing this today because I need to know if Im in the wrong here. So my (31 M) wife (28 F) and I have been married for 6 months. And things have slowed down considerably so since we’ve been married.

The early part of our marriage was good but over time she became distant. Didn’t want to go on dates or have “together time” anymore (if you know what I mean).

I recently confronted her about the lack of romance and her overall coldness. She told me that she just wasnt as interested in me anymore and the novelty of our marriage has worn off. I was devastated to hear this but I asked if there was anything I could do to help make things interesting for her again.

She said that perhaps opening our marriage could bring back the spark. She admitted to messaging a guy on whatsapp and she said that maybe if she was with him too it might make her feel better.

I reluctantly agreed to save my marriage. Its now been a few months since we decided to open our marriage and things have been going well for me. You see Im a lumber jack so I advertised on tinder and craigslist that I would chop down trees in womens yards and build them outhouses and cabins in exchange for “dates”. This has led my business to grow and my romantic life to flourish. But my wife learned that the man on whatsapp was just scamming her for steam gift cards and after sending him over 1000 dollars he blocked her.

She now wants to close our marriage again. But I dont want to give up my now advertising for my business or the attention im getting so I told her no.

AITAH? I dont want to divorce my wife but I dont want to give up this new life.

Edit for context: sorry I should’ve specified. I don’t build things for women for free in exchange for dates. I give the money anywhere between a 10 to 20% discount sometimes 30.

I (39 M) have recently learned some heart breaking news about my (25 f) wife. We had been trying to get pregnant for many years now but we recently lost hope and gave up. This was until one day out of the blue wife told me that she was pregnant, i was absolutely overjoyed.

This was until later that night she broke down and told me that there was a possibility the baby wasn’t mine. She said she had been cheating on me for several years with a local “alpha male” influencer. She said that they always used protection up until recently where she said that they no longer did because she thought they “might as well try” because i couldnt get her pregnant.

Well the dna test came back and i’m not the father but my wife said that it shouldn’t really matter because the “alpha male” doesn’t even want the kid anyway and as long as he gets to name him we get to keep him. She says i should think about this like “natural adoption” or like he’s was just “donating to the cause”

But i honestly feel i alittle anger and resent towards my wife but my friends and family say that im making a big deal over nothing.

Aio?

I've (28f) been seeing my bf (30m) for 6 months now. It's been going well, we seem to be on the same page about a lot of life values and goals. We didn't discuss numbers around body count but he implied his was low so I thought it was pretty similar to mine - I have a body count of one (my ex's next gf) and having a similar body count is important to me.Zero would be a bit weird as I'd have had a defining experience he wouldn't have. Obviously my SO having 1 would be great, 2 is pretty understandable, even 3 - life happens, there are probably reasons. Turns out my bf's is 12! I know, I know, we really should have discussed actual numbers much earlier as it's important to me.

I pointed out that mine is only 1, 12 is on a different level. I also said really, you could argue my 1 doesn't even count (I pled down to manslaughter). He said by that standard his was zero too, as he hasn't even been arrested over his, let alone convicted. Thing is though, I really can't buy the zero, he's told me about these girls, he's taken me to the woods, shown me the dirt mounds, the markers, the trophies, the missing persons reports.

He says I'm a hypocrite, and I sort of get it, but I still feel like 12 bodies buried in the woods by the age of 30 is too many. So, AITA for ending it?

I (35m) have been with my wife Patty (28f) for ten years. When we first started dating, she was quite petite at 5'5" and 110 lbs. She gained weight during pregnancy and continued to do so (presumably because of hormones, but I have noticed her increased food intake), becoming three times as heavy as of now (330 lbs). You would think that I'd be the cheating spouse, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I loved Patty when she was smaller, I loved her during pregnancy, and I still love her now. Unfortunately, her self-esteem has gone down significantly, causing her to believe herself as unattractive and worthless. I did my best to convince her otherwise, but she resorted to seeking attention from other men to cope. At this point, I lost count of how many tims she's cheated and how many men she's cheated with. I can't stand it anymore. I feel bad for her situation, but I shouldn't tolerate being cheated on anymore. I filed for divorce, but now her family's blowing up my phone, accusing me of being fatphobic. I'm not fatphobic; I just have moral values about adultery. AITA?

So I (37F) and my husband (40M) are passionate about health and fitness, so we always insist on taking our son for a walk before breakfast to activate the metabolism.

However when we got back this morning I find this blonde bimbo has let herself into our house ( with a key my husband swears he didn't give her)

Not only has this bitch helped herself to my son's food but she's curled up in his room as if she lives here.

Here's where I might be the arsehole, I lost my temper and accused my husband of having an affair.

He denied it and I will admit I ate the girl before I could get her side of the story.

But am I seriously supposed to believe my husband when he claims that "he has never seen her before." ( Especially given his internet search history).

Right now things are tense and I've taken my baby and gone to stay with my friend and her kids in their shoe.

So Reddit, should I give my husband a chance to explain or trust my instincts and move on with the separation?

Edit,

To those asking in the comments how I know my husband gave her a key?

A few weeks ago we went to a home security company and paid for the premium package with alarms and electric locking mechanisms.

There's no way she got past Gold E-locks without a key and a code.

Update

After pooping out her phone I found my husband and the girl ( lets call her GoldieDigger) have been messaging eachother for months on a Sugarteddy's hookup app.

I'm moving forward with the divorce and told my soon to be ex he'll have to find somewhere else to hibernate this winter.

Hey guys Im in a bit of a weird spot right now and could really use some outside opinions.

You see, My (28M) wife’s (28F) birthday just passed. I am really bad at picking out gifts for people, i just never know what to get them (which is ironic because i actually work as a mall santa part time during the holidays).

But this year I really wanted to get my wife something nice. So I texted one of my wife’s friends to get some ideas. She let me know that my wife had been wanting to start a collection of statues of cryptids (things like bigfoot, the lochness monster, ect).

So I went out and bought her a small jade Mothman statue. When I gave it to my wife she was quite pleased at first but then she started asking how I knew that she wanted that. I told her that her friend told me.

My wife instantly got mad saying that it was “creepy” and “weird” to text her friend behind her back and that it honestly felt like i cheated on her. I explained calmly that the texts were innocent and that she could read them if she liked.

She dropped the issue for the day and I thought we were past this. That was until yesterday she comes home looking very smug. She pulls out her phone and shows me multiple “adult” pictures she took and sent to my friend.

She claimed that this made us even but I feel like this was really uncalled for. I told her that I need time to process all this and have been spending the last few days away from home. But my family and friends have been blowing up my phone saying that Im overreacting and that I should just call it even and move on.

I (28F, bi) was invited to my friend Willow's (also 28F, lesbian) wedding. Willow is getting married to Tara (also 28F, lesbian), whom I've been friendly with but not exactly closer than a friend's spouse/friend. I was planning to go with my boyfriend William (39M, straight), who is also friends with Willow and Tara.

As wedding planning commenced, it was determined that the guest list was getting too long for the small wedding they wanted. Tara had invited a lot of friends that Willow didn't know super well, especially the friends' plus-ones. Since most of their friends combined were in straight relationships, they decided to whittle down the list by not allowing male plus-ones, unless they were related to one of the brides. This meant that William couldn't come, and neither could Willow's and my friend Xander.

I'm honestly very uncomfortable with the idea of attending the wedding without William. He's friends with the brides so it's pretty hurtful that they were willing to exclude him (and Xander) just because he's a man. And since I'm bi, it's kind of upsetting that I would have a plus-one if I had been with a woman (not that I would change anything; I love William with all my heart). Can you imagine if the roles had been reversed, and gay guests weren't allowed to bring plus-ones through some sort of loophole based on a gender ban? Willow and Tara would be cancelled before you could say "homophobia."

If I go, William will drive me all the way to the wedding venue, then have to wait around until the reception is over. I will be running on fumes after a long day of patrolling (I'm a traffic cop) so I can't drive myself. The fact that he's still doing this after being disinvited by FRIENDS is a massive insult. I won't even know anyone else at the wedding since Xander can't go either. I'm honestly considering just attending the ceremony or skipping out on the wedding altogether.

TLDR: men were banned from lesbian wedding to downsize guest list. As a bi woman with BF (who is friends with the brides and thus was invited originally), I don't want to attend, WIBTA?

So my older brother (32M) moved into this really uptight neighborhood where the HOA is run by a woman I can only describe as a Disney villain if she ran on decaf and rage — let’s call her Linda.

Linda has cited my brother five times in two months. Once for his mailbox being “too whimsical.” (It was blue.) Once for his dog barking at 4pm. And my personal favorite: for “overly enthusiastic seasonal décor” (he had two inflatable pumpkins, calm down Linda).

Anyway, I (29F) am not a lawyer. But I am chronically online, mildly chaotic, and good at sounding like I know things. I also once did mock trial in high school. That was apparently enough confidence for me to show up to my brother’s HOA hearing in a blazer, holding a manila folder full of completely blank paper.

I introduced myself as “Miss Fenton, legal counsel for Mr. [Last Name].” Linda narrowed her eyes and asked for my credentials. I told her I’d be happy to provide them “after this informal hearing, as per subsection 3.2 of the bylaws.” (There is no subsection 3.2. I checked. Later.)

Then I proceeded to object to everything she said. Loudly. “Objection, hearsay.” “Objection, irrelevant.” “Objection, that’s not even a real rule.” I even whispered things dramatically into my brother’s ear like “don’t answer that” and “she’s baiting you.”

At one point, Linda got so flustered she knocked over her water bottle and yelled “THIS IS NOT A COURTROOM,” to which I calmly replied, “Then why are you acting like the judge, Linda?”

My brother ended up not getting fined. I like to think I helped. He says they probably just wanted me to leave.

Now my parents say I embarrassed him and could’ve made things worse. My brother actually laughed about it, but said I was “a menace.”

AITA?

So me (45M) and her (F24) worked together a few years ago at a restaurant in my city. We worked together for about a year and a half and became fast friends. Unfortunately our friendship came to an abrupt end when I got let go a few months ago. (I was too good at my job, it made my contemporaries self conscious).

We'll call this chick Amy. I had a pretty big crush on Amy and we went to dinner a few times and always had a blast. (We'd get free meals after our shifts and she sat with me a few times). She's such a vibrant and beautiful soul and she never seemed too offput by my immense gamer girth.

That was until she started going out with our manager, Darren. Fuck I hate Darren. Leather jacket wearing cigarette smoking Darren. Shitty clapped out rust bucket death machine driving Darren. Tight jeans thick ass dump truck having Darren. For context, Darren is (M25) and his parents own the restaurant.

Everybody looooooves Darren and thinks he's so fucking cool. All the girls oooo and ahhh at his lame ass bullshit stories about his "charity work" and his "anarchist punk band". He's totally only an anarchist because he thinks it will get him laid. He's a fucking lame piece of shit ass poser who went to fucking private school.

Yeah get this, Darren's a big fucking "eat the rich" anarchist when he went to a private fucking catholic school. "OHHH LOOK AT ME FELLOW POORS HURPTY DURRR WE NEED TO REDISTRIBUTE WEALTH, OH WHAT HIGHSCHOOL DID I GO TO? WELL IT WAS $50,000 A YEAR".

Like where the fuck do you get off bro. Amy fell for the rouse hook line and sinker. I would call her about every day telling her to break up with the douchebag but she rarely picked up. After I got fired I rarely heard from her at all. Sometimes I could get one word responses from her but other than that it was radio silence and I was devestated. The love of my life had slipped through my fingers.

I still texted her often. Just with sweet little updates on my life and wishing her well. She never responds but today she did and she was incredibly nasty to me.

I was shocked, I've only ever been nice to her and it feels like a huge stab in the back. So guys, AITA?

So, I (28F), was invited to my sister’s, let’s call her Emily (30F), wedding. The thing is my sister is the Golden Child and you all know what Golden Children are. My whole life has been around her. My parents are constantly comparing us and I’m fed up, to be honest.

Her wedding was the last straw. Turns out she left my husband Jake (29M) out of the wedding. She said there weren’t enough places but my other sister’s husband has been invited. I was fuming and considered not attending, but my parents threatened me cut me off if I didn’t so I sucked it up and attended.

When I was there, I found out the real reason my husband was uninvited. He is a professional chef, the best I’ve ever met, and my sister asked him to cook the menu for free because “family helps family”. Jake obviously refused, so my sister and parents forbade him to attend and asked a friend of hers to cook it. The friend is a terrible cook and no one liked it the food.

Saying I was raging was an understatement, so I phone my husband and told him to bring McDonald’s when the dance started. When he arrived with the burger, The Imperial March was sounding, since my sister and BIL chose it as the dance song. I did it purposely.

My parents and sister were so angry that they kicked us out from the wedding and all my family was blowing my phone up accusing me of being petty, jealous and not let my sister shine at her wedding. I told them to go kick rocks and blocked all of them. Only my other sister was on my side.

However, days later I think if I overreacted. My family has ostracised my husband and me for good. I don’t really care, but, AITA?

NOTE (Serious mode): It seems obvious, but I haven’t used AI for this post. I did it with the help of dictionaries and people who are pointing me out some mistakes (if you see more of them, feel free to tell me) and I’ve taken the typical phrases ("family helps family", blowing the phone up...), as well as the names and ages just for parody purposes.

EDIT (Serious mode): Wow! I didn't expect this post to be extremely successful. Thank you all for the comments, even those who think this is a real AITA post. I'm answering bit by bit.

I (40m) have been married to my wife "Amy" (27f) for 3 years, together for 6. When we first met, she was a college athlete and was very active and fit. At the time, she weighed 110 pounds soaking wet. After she graduated and started working, her lifestyle became more sedentary and she started to put on a few pounds. That didn't bother me at first, but the weight continued to build up over time. Don't get me wrong, I've always thought she was beautiful, even with the weight. Heck, by the time we had our wedding, she was about 50 pounds heavier. I didn't think it would go too far, but then her dad suddenly died and her coping mechanism became food, food, food. Her weight skyrocketed and, as of now, she's 360 pounds. During the early days of our relationship, she loved me carrying her, whether it was bridal style to bed before sex or jumping on my back. I liked doing that too, but obviously not anymore because she's far too heavy for me to manage. I thought she understood that, but for some reason, she asked me to carry her to bed the other night. I was a bit taken aback and said I couldn't. She suddenly became upset and demanded why. I said you know why. She said no tell me. I finally sighed and said honey you're too heavy for me to lift. You're more than double my weight (I'm 175 lbs, fyi). She started to cry and said that she was aware of that, but she hoped that I would at least try for old time's sake. I honestly would, but I really don't think I can do it. She told me to sleep on the couch so I did and I woke up to a bunch of family member texts telling me I was being fatphobic and a horrible husband. So AITA?

So I (57M) and my wife (24F) had what I thought was the perfect marriage, we go on dates, talk about our problems in calm discussions, and every Friday night my best friend Jeff comes round and bangs my wife while I watch from the wardrobe.

We have three kids together (17M and twins 8F and 6M) and my wife (lets call her Reborah for privacy) has always promised me that our kids are Jeff's and that my puny seed could never make it past his chad butter.

However over the last few years I've noticed my kids look more and more like me every day.

So I decided to go to a DNA drive through and as I suspected all three of my children are biologically mine.

I confronted Rebbie about this and she broke down and admitted Jeff had a vasectomy years ago but I was so happy not being a father she couldn't bring herself to tell me.

Naturally I'm shattered I spent all this time thinking I was raising someone else's kids only to learn they are my own flesh and blood.

My kids are devastated to learn they aren't the product of an affair and I feel like they've lost all respect for me.

Yesterday I tried to tell my daughter to put her shoes away and she just screamed "you're my real dad, you can't tell me what to do!" And stormed off to her room.

Would I be the arsehole if I ran away to Uzbekistan and became a shoe salesman?

Edit apparently my wife found this post and had replied.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/comments/1l0bsj9/off_my_chest_ive_been_lying_to_my_husband_about/

I (F27) have been planning my dream wedding for the past year. I've chosen a beautiful dress, ordered a heavenly cake, got my favorite local DJ to do the music, and have a great caterer.

One source of contention however has been my decision to have a child-free wedding. I've been to enough weddings where people were allowed to bring their children to know they are noisy, disruptive, and can even be destructive. I simply can't imagine saying my vows while someone's child is loudly talking at the same time.

Most guests were seemingly OK with this. But when my mother in law (F59) found out her child (M34) would not be allowed to attend, she was enraged. She called me and was saying things like "my son deserves to be there" and this is "obviously an exception to the rule" and "you're literally marrying him."

I stood my ground and reiterated that there would be no exceptions and NO ONE would be allowed to bring their child. I asked my fiance for his support, but for some reason he's on his mother's side and thinks her son should be allowed to attend the wedding because he's "kind of a big part of it don't you think."

My friends and family are split. Split in the sense that when I tell them the first half of the story, they're on my side, but when I tell them to second half of the story, they insist that my mother-in-law's child has a right to be at the wedding.

Reddit, what do you think? AITA for not wanting my mother-in-law's child to ruin my special day?

Edit: Why do so many people keep asking if my fiancé wants his brother to attend the wedding? My fiancé doesn't have any siblings.

so my boyfriend, lets call him chad, is really anti-"woke", and hes especially taken up the trans hate lately. ive tried having conversations with him about it, but he refuses to listen. as a kind of gotcha, he came to me two months ago and said that since im so big on the respect trans people thing, he has chosen to come out to me as "trans-alpha", and that i need to call him alpha-chad now. i think he expected that id say thats ridiculous, so he could call me out on my hypocrisy, but honestly, i dont care. so ive been calling him alpha-chad. not just at home, but publicly, too. and ive been telling anyone who asks that this is how he prefers to be referred to, and that i just want to respect his identity as trans-alpha.

i did that at his job too, and apparently his boss wasnt a fan of the whole thing. apparently shes a lesbian with a trans daughter so she really doesnt take this lightly. shes confronted brad about his beliefs, and he ended up going on a rant and lost his job.

now hes saying its my fault he lost his job because i told his boss about "him absolutely despising transes", except thats not what i said, i just said that he has asked me to refer to him as alpha-chad instead because thats what he identifies as. aita for referring him the way he asked me to, even in public?

[Edit: a disturbingly large minority read this post and somehow thought it was real and have got a bit upset about the poor baby (0F). This isn’t r/AmITheAsshole, it’s r/AmITheAngel. It’s labelled (flared) as a Shitpost, meaning it’s entirely made up. It’s satire on a sub made for satire. It is purposely ridiculous.]

—

Last week, on a flight from Paris to New York, a baby (0F) just 2 rows behind me was crying so loudly during takeoff. The sound was piercing, the mother (59MTF) wasn’t helping, and everyone was finding it hard to relax.

So I (77NB, vegan, heterosexual) decided to save the day by screaming like a victim in a Saw movie for the rest of the flight, thus drowning out the racket of the upset baby.

For reasons I cannot fathom, after I’d selflessly screeched like an unhinged baboon for an entire afternoon and beyond, a lot of people looked seriously pissed off. Talk about ungrateful!

The people adjacent to me were furious, as were all the other passengers, the flight attendants, the pilot, the co-pilot, and the baggage handlers (who weren’t even on the flight).

Even the crying baby looked like she wanted to kill me.

I still remember, just after I first started shrieking at the top of my voice, a hot but stern looking flight attendant (26F, vegetarian, bisexual, a bit too much makeup) trying to speak to me. I couldn’t make out a word she said above all the noise I was making, but I assumed she was thanking me for making everyone’s journey more pleasant.

Hours later, a different flight attendant (39F, gluten-free, demisexual, more makeup than a clown convention) and one emotional elderly lady (85F, omnivore, pansexual pervert, not nearly enough makeup) were both standing over me. The old lady kept pointing at her ears and crying, which I took as a clear sign she could still hear that annoying baby. So I pumped up my own volume to compensate.

Eventually the visibly enraged pilot (44M, paleo dieter, polysexual, a hint of eyeliner) abandoned the cockpit mid-flight to confront me. He marched up to me and barked something or other while wagging his hairy, pilot-y finger in my face. I couldn't make head nor tail of it above the din of my own deafening screams.

Directly behind me sat an imposing gentleman (29M, carnivore, hardcore androsexual, I didn’t get a read on his makeup situation). He kept booting the back of my chair like it was an escape hatch from a doomed submarine. But I didn’t give in.

(Small aside: no, I don’t know what androsexual means either. I hope it’s not the one involving animals.)

And so it continued until we touched down in New York, by which time my aching lungs could finally rest and the whole plane wanted me dead. As we disembarked, I was repeatedly punched, kicked, and pelted with half-eaten croissants, crumpled baguettes, and an unopened bottle of Evian.

At baggage reclaim, my face bruised but my convictions unshaken, I approached the distressed old lady from earlier. I offered her a warm hug, but instead she smacked me square in the mouth with her cane, dislodging two of my front teeth, one of which I somehow swallowed.

Inconvenient? Sure. A small price to pay for sparing everyone the sensory hell of that insufferable shrieking child? Absolutely.

But tell me honestly, AITA?

TL;DR a crying baby was annoying everyone on a plane so I screamed for 9 hours straight and now they all hate me.

I have a baby named Tim. He is very sweet and calm. I've had him for five months.

My friend came to visit with her 7-year-old daughter. The daughter loved Tim right away. They played all day. She even cried when they had to leave.

A few days later, my friend called me. She said her daughter has never connected with a baby like that. She asked if I would let them have Tim.

I was surprised. I said no. I told her I love Tim and he is a part of my family. She said she understood, but sounded sad. She said her daughter was heartbroken.

Now I feel bad. I know they would give Tim a good home. But I love him and don't want to give him away.

Some people say I should have done it for the child.

Others say it's okay to keep my baby. AITA?

My (28F) daughter (15F) is one of the most basic girls I have ever met. She has always had an aversion to spicy food, burns to a crisp after spending an hour out in the sun, loves starbucks etc.

The problem is that recently she has joined a new friend group of three people, two are black and one is white. They all claim to be black and this is rubbing off on my daughter since she's also been claiming to be black recently. She's never shown evidence of being black while growing up therefore I believe she is making it up.

I've noticed she's been distancing herself from her white friends and just sits in her room posting tiktoks of herself rapping.

The other day, my daughter and her new friends were in the kitchen talking when I overheard my daughter say a peer of theirs wouldn't understand something ‘because she is white’. I pointed out to my daughter that she was herself white. In response, she stormed to her room and isn't talking to me.

AITA for ‘calling out my daughter’?

Edit: thanks very much for your thoughtful responses. Looking back, I remember I did hook up with a black man around the time of my daughter's conception so I'm ordering a 23&me kit to find out my daughter’s true ethnicity.

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/vtvNFM9iJr

Disclaimer: My shitpost posted in a satire sub with the source of inspiration clearly labelled & included at the bottom is in fact, fictional.

I (57M, ghost) was married to my wonderful wife (22F, human) for 6 years. We were literally soulmates, perfect for each other, but unfortunately my parents didn’t approve of the relationship. I was called a “pedophile” over this, which quite frankly is ridiculous as she is mature for her age.

Anyways, what I didn’t realize until 5 years into our marriage is how much of a psychotic BITCH she is. She has these unrealistic demands such as wanting to be treated equally, asking for respect, etc. So bitchy.

We got into a fight over her bratty, bitchy behavior, where she once again demanded I treat her equally. I calmly explained to her that she’s a woman, and women belong in the kitchen. Well she lost it. She grabbed a knife, and like the complete psycho she is, she just stabbed me in the chest. Long story short, I ended up dying.

Well, that little brat needed to learn a lesson. So I decided that from now on, her house would be haunted. I would make her live in terror for the rest of her life.

My mom (80F, talking to me through an ouija board) believes I am over reacting, but my dad (83M, also a ghost) thinks I am perfectly justified and offered to help me get payback on this crazy BITCH. So reddit, am I overreacting?

Inspired by the boiling water story

I’m am engaged to my fiancé of 10 years and we are excited to finally tie the knot.

However I’ve read way too many stories of people who get engaged or pregnant before someone else wedding and I don’t want this because it’s my wedding, so I made two rules no getting engaged until I’m married but most importantly don’t get pregnant especially if you are in the wedding party.

I mentioned this rule to my siblings, cousins and friends as well as their partners and said that if any of them break this rule they are kicked out.

Now one of my cousins has been with her boyfriend for 5 years and has been waiting for him to ask her to marry him and I told him he has to wait until I get married like all the other men and women in my family and friend group.

They said this was unfair but it’s my wedding so my rules.

My best friend has also been trying to have a kid with her husband and I told them they need to put that on hold because I want my best friend as my maid of honor and they said this was unfair too but again my wedding, my rules.

Well now my wedding is ruined because my cousin’s bf just couldn’t wait any longer and went ahead and asked her to marry him. When I saw their post on social media I threw a fit and kicked them out of my wedding but that’s not all.

My BFF texted me last night with a text saying that she was finally pregnant with a picture of a positive pregnancy test, I flipped out and told her “no I said not until my wedding you’re supposed to be my maid of honor”. She then said “You’re wedding isn’t even until next year”.

I then said that she was kicked out for being maid of honor because her husband just couldn’t keep it in his pants for a whole year.

I have since send emails to everyone reminding them of the rules but my parents and fiancé are saying I’m being a spoiled brat and bridezlla and that I can’t control other people lives.

But it my wedding it’s supposed to be about me and not my cousin and her boyfriend’s engagement and my best friend’s pregnancy. It about ME! And me only.

AITA?

So I should start this by saying I'm very child free after being made to raise my younger siblings.

Since I don't like people I deliberately moved to a cottage out of town so I can focus on my hobbies like baking and architecture.

I've been having a lot of problems lately with two local kids ( lets call the boy H and the girl G)

H&G's parents have apparently decided since my yard encroaches on the forest it's fine to just leave their kids there and walk away.

Normally the kids find their own way home by following a trail of stones, but yesterday I find them outside my house crying because "they used breadcrumbs and the birds ate them."

To make things worse the little brats were taking bites out of my cottage walls.

Naturally I saw red and threw them both in my oven.

But now the parents are calling me a "wicked witch" and trying to organise a mob to burn me at the stake.

So Reddit AITA?

I (F26) have been with my partner David (M27) for three years. We just got engaged a few weeks ago, which was deeply exciting. But we’ve recently had an argument about what that meant for our future and I need some advice.

David has a group of guy friends from college that he still hangs out with. I support this — I don’t try to keep him from having a life outside of me. But a few months into dating, he told me about this tradition they had.

Back in their second year of college, they were all single at the same time. The ringleader of the group, Burton (M27) had the idea for “Homosexual Tuesdays” — a day where they could take out their loneliness and horniness together and it wouldn’t count. Apparently it was such a hit that they stuck with it even as some of the boys started dating women again.

Well, when David told me about Homosexual Tuesdays, I was skeptical. But being young and in love, I figured it was better to have him six days a week than zero. I also didn’t want to be the only girlfriend in the group who put their foot down So for the last two and a half years, I’ve let him partake without any complaints or questioning.

Back to the present — when David proposed to me, I was thrilled. I said yes, but on the condition that David stopped attending Homosexual Tuesdays. I calmly explained that if we were engaged, we had to solely give our bodies to each other. He seemed very disappointed but accepted my condition.

Or so I thought. The last few days, David has been very antsy around me, and he finally lashed out last night, calling me a dictator for keeping him from his friends. Speaking of which, his friends and their partners have been blowing up my phone, calling me a homophobic bigot. Some of these men are married now themselves, and their wives are mad at me for being uncomfortable with these extracurriculars.

I’m at a complete and total loss. I want David to be happy, and I can tell he’s mistake. Every Tuesday since we’ve been engaged, he’s gone out alone for drinks at our local bar to drown his sorrows. But I truly don’t know if I can marry David if he continues with Homosexual Tuesdays. What about when we have kids? I can’t even imagine.

So Reddit — AITA?

I (42M) have been dating my girlfriend (18F) for six beautiful months. She’s sweet, fun, and has this youthful energy that I find very refreshing after my third divorce. But lately, she’s been acting in ways that make me question her maturity.

For context, I met her when she was just starting her first job at the local mall. She complimented my Rolex and said she loved my “dad vibes,” which I quite didn’t understand but took as a compliment because I am proud to be more like my dad. Things moved quickly from there and our relationships seemed fine.

However here’s the issue: I’ve been noticing that she does a lot of things that are, frankly, childish. For example, last week we went to a very nice restaurant (I’m talking linen napkins and a dress code), and she ordered chicken nuggets. Chicken nuggets. When I quietly suggested she try something more sophisticated, like the foie gras or at least the Caesar salad as normal woman usually do, she rolled her eyes and said, “Ew, gross,” loud enough for the waiter to hear.

Another time, we went shopping for furniture for my condo (she’s moving in soon), and she insisted on getting a beanbag chair for the living room. A beanbag chair. I told her, like sweetie, that’s not really what adults have in their homes, and she pouted and said I was “killing her vibe”

The final straw came last weekend. We were at a dinner party with some of my colleagues, and when someone asked her what her goals are, she said, “I just want to be happy, you know?” My colleagues were stunned into silence. I had to jump in and explain that she’s still figuring things out because she’s “young and carefree.” Later, she accused me of being condescending, which I thought was unfair since I was just trying to help.

Now she’s saying I’m too controlling and that I need to let her “be herself,” but honestly, I’m just trying to help her to finally grow up a little. I feel like she doesn’t appreciate the wisdom and guidance I bring to the relationship.

Am I the angel here for wanting my girlfriend to act more like a normal adult should? Or will it be better if I just let her keep embarrassing both of us in public?

(writing this from my girlfriend’s account so she could read your comments and understand my point)

My (31M) wife (28F) is currently pregnant with our second child. Last pregnancy her friends and family threw her a baby shower and she ruined it by replacing the confetti with tiny printed out screenshots of messages between me and my affair partner. I immediately stormed out in embarrassment while her family and friends blew up her phone with differing opinions on whether she would have been the asshole for doing that.

She wanted to leave me but when she asked Reddit for validation if she was the asshole for doing that to me, she didn’t like the comments saying it was fake. So she stayed with me. She got pregnant again after a year even though I didn’t even convince her to have sex with me yet. I think all her time at the gym relaxed her enough to get pregnant.

But last week she came to me asking for a divorce. A public server came to the door with the paperwork. All I have to do is sign. I’m not going to. We’re going to make it work this time. I don’t save my affair partner’s name as “💋” anymore it’s “✝️ I Love My Wife” now so she can’t figure it out and embarrass me again.

Anyway, her guy friend came over yesterday to grab my wife and our first baby’s stuff. He asked me if I signed the divorce papers. I told him it’s none of his business. He said my wife is going to live with him now. He said his mom was throwing a baby shower for my wife. I told him it wasn’t necessary because my mom would. He just laughed at me and left.

I texted my wife and told her she couldn’t just divorce me and leave. She said she was done with my bullshit. I told her that I would fight for custody of both kids. She laughed and said I could definitely have 50/50 with the first kid but I’m an idiot if I think I will get anything with a “baby that isn’t even yours.” This pissed me off so much. Just because she’s the one who is pregnant the baby can’t be mine too??? In my anger I ripped the divorce papers into tiny pieces. Would I be the asshole if I replaced the confetti in the gender reveal balloon with the divorce papers?

I (28f) have always been, I guess you could say, "unlucky in love." None of my relationships survive very long. I'll be talking with a guy, everything seems to be going great, but then he'll show some annoying habit or fatal flaw and it really kills the relationship.

Recently, I met this new guy online. We talked for awhile and I really thought this one might go somewhere. We meet up for a date and it's amazing! He seems like a totally normal guy, no red flags at all. Definitely second date material.

So fast forward to our third date. Things are still going well, and we end up making it official! I'd never been so happy since that time I won the Geography Bee in second grade (take that Arlene!).

Anyway, for our fifth date I invite him over to my house. We're having a good time, just hanging out, casually discussing what was more terrifying: Barney or Teletubbies, when all of a sudden he gets this serious look on his face. He turns to me and says "I have to ask you something really important." Now I'm all nervous like that time Ms. Andrews asked our fifth grade class who had put the dead rat in her desk (she was mean and deserved it) and I just knew that sneak Emily had seen me in the room and was going to tattle on me. So what my bf ends up saying is "Before we take our relationship any farther, I really need to know your body count."

Now I'm just super confused. Why would he ask something like that? We're only on our fifth date, I hadn't even told him about my hobby, so how could he know to even ask about that? I don't know if my bf noticed my confusion but he said "It doesn't matter, I'm not judging, I just really need to know." Now I'm getting creeped out because he's being pushy and how does he even know about my body count!

I still haven't said anything so he jumps in with "Look, if it makes you more comfortable I'll tell you mine first." And it was like sunlight pouring through the clouds because suddenly I understood. He knew because he had the same hobby! I was so excited! Easily one of the happiest moments of my life, right up there with the time my mom told me I could get sprinkles on my ice cream cone when I was 3.

So I nodded really eagerly and he took a deep breath and said, "Mine's 8." I was a little disappointed he wasn't as experienced as me, but I tried not to let it show. "I'm at 24," I said proudly. "And I'm looking for someone really special to be 25." For some reason he looks really horrified and blurts out "You've slept with 24 guys?!"

I'm confused for a minute, but then I understand. My bf isn't the nice guy I thought he was. We don't share a hobby. He just another sleezebag. So I get angry and say "That's what you meant by body count! What's wrong with you!" And he said "What else did you think I meant?" And I said "Come down to the basement and I'll show you."

And now, well, let's just say my body count is at 25. I was a bit disappointed to be down another bf, but I got over it before I finished washing up. But now I think I might be an AH because no one knows what I did so there's no one to blow up my phone. AITA?

Ok so when I (M28) met my now wife (f28) I knew she'd gone through a really tough time with her family, had been estranged from her stepmom and that theirs had been quite an abusive relationship.

She explained to me that she went through an extended period where she lived 'off-grid' with a group of survivalists (no tech, living off the land and getting the very little money they did need through selling natural resources).

What she did NOT tell me was that they were ALL men. Yep not one woman apart from her. And I'm expected to believe that NOTHING happened. Right - that's about as likely as woodland creatures doing the household chores!

She swears that they took her in out of the goodness of their hearts and for her housekeeping skills and that only one of them had a crush on her but nothing happened.

I'm starting to question whether she might be a pathological liar/ narcissist because recently she claimed her Stepmom had disguised herself as an old woman and given her a 'poison' apple. To put this in context when I first met my wife she was unconscious due to a piece of apple being stuck in her throat which I managed to get out with my tongue.

Ok am I the AH if I walk away? Tbh there is a new girl at work who never speaks and really reminds me of this dream I had about being saved from a shipwreck and I'm starting to think maybe we'd be a better match.

Edit: I think A has posted and now I'm in a total quandary!??