So Im a 20 years old girl from the Philippines, and my boyfriend (22) male from China is having a really hard time finding ways to talk with each other. We met on hellotalk and overtime, we transfered to wechat. I already got restricted from wechat twice because I think I’m using a foreign number. We moved to instagram and he downloaded VPN, we make calls there and talk a lot— so obviously, his vpn is always on.

Then, the police called him the other day, saying that VPN is illegal and he got his first warning. Also, I just knew abt this info now but last last week, the police knocked on his door, asking him if he’s being scammed by a foreigner. I really love him and I know that he loves me too, but why does it feel like china is against dating foreigners? I’ve seen lots of foreign people dating in china but why is it so hard for us? What can I do to still keep on talking to him? We’ve already planned on seeing each other but that’s still next year since we’re still busy with school this year. Please help, I don’t want him to disappear :((

Hello everyone / 大家好

r/China is already full of rant-flair posts about foreigners in China witnessing or going through situations involving incredibly imprudent, distracted, and unaware drivers. In this sub, apparently, no one has ever posted anything about it. So, I hope this is appropriate here, as I’d be glad to know of opinions and experiences on this matter not only from non-Chinese but especially from Chinese people themselves.

At first, so was I drafting this post as a rant. But then, I calmed my rage a bit and am now trying to look at this through different lenses by seeking some rational, reasonable answers to something that not only frustrates and annoys many foreigners but also puts many of them in at risk. Traffic dynamics and overall driving style (not legislations or rules, since they're lax and hence go by-passed, anyway) in China can be considerably "different" from most countries, as they range from passive-aggressiveness and distraction to downright unawareness and dickheadedness.

Though I've had countless such encounters, I'll only list three of them as examples where I couldn’t keep my cool to expose my frustration:

(1) I'm riding a rental bike. As I am about to turn right while intending to keep in the right lane on the street I'm turning onto, a scooter driver coming all the way from the right hand side that street does the same, but instead of going to the right side of the street I am riding from, he comes straight towards me, that is, on (his) left hand side of street. If that was not enough, he intends to take the very closest side to the curb of the lane I am turning right from. As a matter of course, he's about to crash into me. I hold my ground and purposefully cause the scoter driver to take the left side of the lane I am riding through, which is still wrong but less worse. Immediately after he goes by me, though, he throws a "傻逼" (idiot). Are you friggin kidding me?

(2) I'm about to cross a tiny street in downtown, where there’re usually more pedestrians than vehicles. One of those van drivers, at high speed, keeps coming as if there's no one in front of him, but I again stand firm and I, on purpose, slowly cross the street on the crosswalk. He then brakes a bit violently as I pretty much put myself in front of the car on purpose to make him stop. He does but l also honks and curses 我肏你妈 at me repeatedly. I, in turn, keep flipping him off and call him 傻逼 many times. My dude, you're unbelievable, you're in a hurry to dash through the crossroad, and yet you're gladly wasting your time swearing at me.

(3) I'm about to cross the street. On a crosswalk. On the green light for pedestrians. A Tesla keeps coming regardless, I wave at him and keep crossing, but eventually I recognize he's more daring. He runs the red traffic lights, putting me and the person I am with in danger, and all that is left for me is flip him off right after he's riding past us.

Apparently, I've been acting as the white foreigner trying to lecture drivers around here. However, I was born and raised in a place where such behavior and mindset—though witnessed at a much lesser frequency—is directly associated with someone who lacks notion, empathy, education, and civility. I don't come from “the West”, so when I hear these comments by both Westerners and some nationalist-leaning Chinese people, justifying that "please, understand how recent modernization and traffic rules in China have been […] then don’t come to China […] otherwise you're not for China" and whatnot, I am so sorry, but I don't buy it. I come from an ever-lasting developing country marred by corruption, poverty, and violence; yet folks know when an imprudent driver must be shamed, punished, and held accountable by the people and law enforcement. So, at least on this aspect, integrity and law work against them when needed.

In my view, this is not the result of ignorance. It's the result of lenient or nonexistent enforcement of the law, as well as unawareness by the people who are at risk thinking this is the normality. It's about all provinces and counties of China adopting strict traffic rules and punishment like those of Shanghai and Fujian province. It’s about driver’s license examination being reformed. It’s about policies and campaigns.

I might very well someday get screwed up by an asshole or be involved in an accident here in China. The way I sometimes act is stupid as heck. I also know that Chinese people usually avoid conflicts. But the brazenness of people putting others at risk and true danger around here has to someday be more exposed and put in check. Avoiding conflicts because of petty misbehavior is one thing, but avoiding conflict with someone who's put you in danger is a completely different story. They shouldn’t think this is just normal.

All that being said, I genuinely want to know: how would CONSCIOUS and PRUDENT Chinese pedestrians and drivers manage these situations if directly involved in any of these incidents above?

Thanks / 感谢

I can't imagine Japanese atrocities during WW2 aren't talked about in history classes or from older generations among Chinese people. Yet, Chinese people are the largest immigrant group in Japan and you can hear people speak Mandarin/Cantonese in a lot of places - even among some people working there.

Also not to mention the still ongoing xenophobia/racism. Japan is probably one of the few places in the world where a restaurant can serve Chinese food and use Chinese names for their stuff but openly say they don't want Chinese customers.

A sincere question from a teacher. I’ve been teaching Chinese kids English online, and honestly, sometimes I just feel heartbroken for them.

I’ve seen very young kids pushed into advanced programs where they don’t even know the basics yet (like introducing themselves) but are expected to handle way more difficult content.

Many kids have 4–5 extra/private classes a day, sometimes scheduled as late as 9 pm. I’ve even seen students literally fall asleep on camera during class.

During summer break, instead of relaxing or enjoying childhood, all they do is study.

Why is it like this? Why so much pressure on kids? I’m really curious - what’s the cultural or societal reason behind this level of academic intensity?

Hello! I’m heading to China this October and while I obviously can’t “fit in” with my outfit choices, I do try to be conscious of what I wear to ensure I’m not being culturally insensitive.

Current trends in the US, particularly for fall clothing, heavily tend to be black and/or white. A significant portion of my current wardrobe are those colors. Black is seen as a funeral color in Western Cultures, too, but no one would think it’s weird to wear a black dress to a nice dinner, too. I’ve seen that black and white are seen as funeral colors in China.

Question: would it be really weird if I, a tall blonde woman, walk around in a white outfit? What about a black dress to a nice dinner?

I have long had this conversation and almost all of my Chinese friends are just like me, the wife takes care of the finances in the family, we don’t really have to worry about that. The one thing in my family is that if there is a big purchase then my wife will sit down with me and talk about it with me. If either of us disapprove then it’s over. How is it with your families?

I'm a foreign guy with longish hair and want to try wearing magnetic earrings (not piercings yet). Is it something I will be judged for or not really? Just asking. Edit: so my agent said its better not to wear it to work only after work, that was my main concern. If I get a piercing I will have to keep them in for 4 to 6 weeks, won’t work. So yes some people do care haha. Anyway will wear magnetic ones after work.

Hi! I’m from Algeria and I’m really curious about Chinese daily life. People often say that Chinese are very disciplined — how do you see it yourselves?

Hello everyone!

I've always admired the Chinese civilisation, its history, focus on dignity and tradition and the incredible development of language and the arts.

Recently I've been listening to a song that I've found through YouTube Music. Unfortunately, my phone cannot copy and paste Chinese characters. Can someone link me the song on YouTube or some other video platform? Thank you.

How commonly are they used among the youth? Do you think they pose a great threat for Chinese identity and culture? Is there an organisation which regulates the use of loanwords in the media?

Thanks for all the respones in advance.

Hi! I’m learning Chinese as a newbie and I wanted to know if you could suggest me some c-drama to get more used to the language! If you can I’d like more mystery, who did it, historic ecc type of series/movies since I’ve recently gone through a break up and I CAN’T watch anything romantic lol

Sorry for my request and for my broken English since I’m not a native speaker :) thank you all in advantage

How do you usually tell the difference between Northerns and Southerns? Is it mainly accent, food, appearance, or something else?

(this is for a class homework, please help me)

Just wondering if you think the US is number one. Is the US the only one? Who else is guilty?

It appears the culture isn’t as straight forward as some Asian cultures such as Japan, korea, or some Southeast Asia. Where shoes always come off at a threshold with no ambiguity. In other words It varies by household or setting or different regions. Or should I say a bit comparable to the Philippines or Filipino culture for that matter?

Apparently, some areas of the place is hard surface shiny concrete like tiles. It appears it’s not uncommon for hosts to appear to say it’s not necessary but are they for real? Or it’s more like being given a gift? One should refuse at first? Until you are certain the host really means it.

It seems more likely to happen if someone is in a state of readiness, invited to the back yard soon after the inside, preparing for a big event, or about to head to or coming back from a sweaty game of basketball, volleyball, or others where it’s assumed sweaty socks are involved, maybe they think thier sneakers soles are cleaner than their socks thus don’t want to lend out slippers?

Obviosusly given the place is not unfinished. Like some parts of China before built before the Japanese occupation and economic revival. In that case it’s unlikely to be expected to remove shoes on raw garage like concrete since socks will turn black if one does.

With the huge numbers of tourists from China to Japan to Korea and vice-versa, which language do you use to communicate with each other? Especially curious since less than 95% speak English

Hi everyone,

I'm West African and currently doing linguistic research on naming practices across cultures. One thing I'm curious about due to my undergraduate experience when I moved to the US is that most of the Chinese students that I met on campus who came here for college use English names as opposed to their original Chinese names.

I also noticed it more commonly with women than with men and I'm wondering:

• Apart from easier pronunciation Is there an agreed upon culture of changing names when you come to the west as I noticed this is common.
• Is it something that’s usually decided before arriving here? and what determines the English name you pick
• I'm also curious to know how it feels when you give yourself an English name? On the other side, when someone actually takes the time to pronounce your Chinese name accurately, how does it feel?

I'd love to hear personal experiences. It happens with West Africans from the standpoint of us shortening our names.. some also use English names but usually their English middle name

I mean

South Korea, even if it does not dare to say it, no longer wants reunification, it would be economic ruin.

The north is also starting to see the south as an enemy and seems to no longer want reunification.

However, the north has difficulty managing itself. In the event of collapse of the country, revolts.... Also according to experts the country is becoming Sinicized: studies in China for the elite, Chinese drama...

Do you think it is possible that North Korea will eventually become Chinese?

Outside of politics what do you guys think of Japanese culture and Japanese people themselves?

edit: I didn't receive any notifications for the comments for some reason and just noticed them. I appreciate that a lot of people took their times to write such detailed comments. I'll start going through them now, thank you!

Hey guys, this sub probably isn't the place for this question, but I had nowhere else to ask. r/asknorthkorea doesn't exist for obvious reasons, and you guys and russia are closest to the country.

So to preface, I've been thinking about the way North Korea is portrayed in the media. The narrative is always overwhelmingly negative, and it's led me to wonder if there's more to the story.

I know it's a very different society under a strict regime, but surely not everyone lives in constant fear of getting shot, right? I wouldn't be surprised if they just trying to get on with their lives and do what's best for their families, like people everywhere else.

I'm hoping to get some perspectives that go beyond the typical media headlines.