r/AskAnAustralian 1d ago

What is your funniest farting story?

0 Upvotes

12 comments sorted by

4

u/wretchedRing 1d ago

Not long ago I did a fart that sounded just like one of those little dump trucks driving on a rapidly deflating tyre. Like one of the dual tyres at the back of a tiny Hino or something. It was fucken gold, ay.

I laughed for ages, but sadly no one else was around to hear it.

1

u/PauL__McShARtneY 22h ago

Username checks out.

4

u/Ogolble 1d ago

I can laugh about it now, but I farted at work and followed through

3

u/cum_teeth 22h ago

Having sex with my girlfriend, as she reached orgasm her body relaxed and she let out a deep fart, it vibrated my balls, i stopped and just looked at her kind of confused like "did you just... Fart on my balls?" We then proceeded to laugh uncontrollably for legit about a half hour, full on cry laughing... I never got to bust

2

u/Lethallee61 1d ago

When I was courting my future wife, I was saying goodbye to her outside on the driveway of her parent’s house, near my car. All of a sudden, her father farted so loudly in the lounge room that you could have heard it in the next suburb.

I had to delay my departure for another ten minutes to give my fiancé enough time to stop laughing and compose herself enough that she could go back in the house without dying of embarrassment.

We’re still happily married 39 years later.

1

u/PauL__McShARtneY 22h ago

You and the father?

2

u/HistoricalHorse1093 1d ago

Hahaha ok since you asked.

I was 17F in grade 12.

It was Valentine's Day. At the school we had a class to make a Valentine's card and give it to whoever. I chose to make one for my crush. I wrote a poem inside.

So our group gathered for lunchtime and I'm standing up in front of all of them, reading my card to my crush. I'm reading and it seems to be going well....

Of course I was so nervous that I farted. 

Great timing 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

The guy just looked at me, seemed not to notice (or was polite about it). But I turned to my right to see one of my best friends horrified and totally cackling and roaring with laughter 🤣 obviously she heard it.

Later that day my crush decided to accept the Valentine's card written by a different girl and they were seen walking hand in hand around the school.

🥹

2

u/Glad-Bug-6506 23h ago

Farted in Bunnings and sure as shit, it was a shart. I don't think I've ever told anyone that.

1

u/BobbyThrowaway6969 17h ago

You told us chief, you told us.

1

u/Leading-Turnover2723 22h ago

I accidentally on TV'S Miss Kim. Only Australians will know who I mean.

1

u/BobbyThrowaway6969 21h ago

Someone tried to hide their fart with a cough but their timing was off

1

u/Ok-Fun8831 20h ago

In a video shop in Geelong in the 90s. Roughly 10 others there browsing and I had to let one go. I admit it wasn't nice at all. It actually cleared the shop. 😂 Every time I bag out the misses when she farts she comes back with "oh, remember Geelong?" 😄