I'm a contractor working on a project a European institution in Brussels. At work, sometimes I need to call out a European official because I haven’t received some information I needed, or because they didn’t do something in the way I needed it in order to carry out my role. Most of the time, I explain my problem, they apologize, and we move on. But with some people — from a certain European region (in my experience) — the conversation usually goes something like this:
Me: Hi, we agreed that you would stop doing X and start doing Y, but I’ve noticed you’re still doing X.
Them: stare off-camera with no expression whatsoever.
Me: Hello, can you hear me? Do you know what I’m referring to? I really need you to do Y instead of X, would that be possible?
Them: sit completely still and silent.
Me: (raising my voice) Hellooo, can you hear me? Is my mic working? Is the video frozen?
Them: (rolls eyes) Of course I can hear you. I don’t know why you Spaniards are always so loud, it’s irritating.
Me: Oh, great. So do you need help implementing Y? Do you want me to talk to your director general?
Them: silent, won’t look at the camera.
Sometimes this is followed by a strongly worded email from the official to my supervisor, complaining that I am “not respectful” or that I “don’t respect other people’s boundaries.” If I decide to bring up that email in our next call, the cycle repeats:
Me: Hi, it seems like there’s something about the way I work that you don’t like. Could you tell me what it is, so I can see if I can change it?
Them: stare silently without answering.
And so on, forever.
The couple times I've experienced this, it's been with people from a certain region. I mentioned it to my supervisor and they said, "oh they're like that, they avoid confrontation". But this is the exact opposite of avoiding confrontation. I was taught that there's nothing more impolite than ignoring a direct question, and I find it extremely triggering.
Is this a common communication technique where you're from, and if it is, what's the expected response to other people's lack of response?