Daily Slow Chat - r/AskEurope

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u/atomoffluorine United States of America 1d ago

I heard someone in New York was infected with one of those (live) flesh eating screw worms. These terrifying insects lay their larvae on wounds and were endemic to the Southern part of North America as well as their South American range. Thanks to some scientists and engineers who figured out how to make huge quantities of sterile screwworms, they've been eradicated from North America, but it looks like there's been reports of them showing up in Mexico recently.

It's a good thing they haven't defunded that program yet. I guess saving farmers money isn't woke (they were huge agriculturalpests).

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u/tereyaglikedi in 1d ago

I made Chinese scallion pancakes for breakfast. They're very good and smell amazing. I thought I put too much onion, but it was just right.

So, I would never begrudge my darling husband any happiness. But if there is one thing I am very very jealous of, it is that the mfer doesn't understand a word of what my mom says.

Yesterday we had a brief family visit. Now, my father-in-law is an old German man, and I try to ignore most of what he says because it's more trouble than it's worth. Yesterday he was talking about his adventures in the supermarketscape of his town.

"I saw that electric kettles were on offer at the supermarket, so I drove there. But they didn't have any! So I asked the employee, who was an Ausländer." At this point he looks at me. "But he was very nice!!

I'm like, it's okay, I get it.

"Then he says this is the shelf they're supposed to be, but there isn't any. He only speaks bad German, but he was nice!" again, looks at me. I get it. He was an Ausländer but still nice. It's fine.

"Then I say I can't leave without a kettle. He says, he needs to check in the basement. I wait, and I wait, and I wait. Then he comes back, and he has my kettle! And then I go to buy some of this beer that's on offer. But they don't have it. Then I talk to the employee, who is an Ausländer. You know, we only Ausländer working nowadays. But he was nice!" again, looks at me, I FUCKING GET IT.

People ask me if I face racism in Germany. The answer is, not in such big words. But shit like this, happens all the time.

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u/ramblingMess Lousiana, USA 19h ago

Old people unnecessarily mentioning the ethnicity/nationality of someone in a story they’re telling really is a universal constant I suppose. I have one aunt in particular who loves to mention that a waiter at a restaurant was Mexican, or that the person she chatted with in line at the grocery store was black.

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u/holytriplem -> 18h ago

Or that they were gay. Or that they had tattoos. Or that they had the wrong haircut. Or that they were fat.

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u/holytriplem -> 18h ago edited 18h ago

"I'm trying to reconcile my prejudices and complete social ineptitude with my desire to bond with my daughter-in-law".

Remember when we were teenagers and we all learnt that, once we grew up, we would realise that our parents were right about everything after all and we would all live happily ever after? Well, I spent most of my 20s waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for that moment. Until I realised that what was *actually* supposed to happen was that you were supposed to realise that your parents were in fact just as stupid as you thought they were about everything, but that you were either supposed to forgive them for it because hey, aren't we all morons in our own way, or you were supposed to just accept that they're never going to be the people you want them to be and to make sure that's their problem, not yours.

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u/tereyaglikedi in 18h ago

Pretty much. He also says stuff like "there's this TV presenter who's Turkish. She speaks very good German, but sometimes she makes a pronunciation mistake with this and that. It is so cute."

Says the man who still can't pronounce my name after nearly 10 years of being married to his son.

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u/orangebikini Finland 1d ago

Last night I had to call 112 because some guy was walking on the ring road, which has vehicles driving at 100 km/h, in a place you would never walk unless you were planning to jump in front of a semi-truck or you were very drunk. It was late at night and raining too, so visibility was very poor. Weird thing is this is the second time in about a year I've called for somebody walking on the motorway, and both times were at this same spot. Weird.

I drove past the same spot a couple of hours later in opposite direction and didn't see any sings of there having been an accident, so I'm guessing he got off the motorway safe.

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u/lucapal1 Italy 23h ago

Today I'm on a nice little island, not far from Gothenburg.Styrsö.

Good hiking trails here,some forested areas,a little beach too (water is cold!) and some great traditional style houses,I love these old wooden and super-colourful places.

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u/Billy_Balowski Netherlands 16h ago

Well, this is it. My public transport days are over, I'll be driving to work from now on. Did a test drive today, went pretty well. But that was a Sunday, tomorrow it will be a lot busier.

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u/holytriplem -> 14h ago

> My public transport days are over, I'll be driving to work from now on.

Urbanist content creators melting down

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u/orangebikini Finland 13h ago

It's not just bikes in The Netherlands, evidently they have cars too.

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u/orangebikini Finland 13h ago

The best thing about having a car is that you don't have to always use it. Sometimes it's nicer to take public transport still. But, without a doubt in many situations a car is much more convenient.

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u/Masseyrati80 Finland 1d ago

I'm listening to a book whose title translates as 'the biology of depression'. Having combined data from lots of sources, Markus J. Rantala has written the book from the main approach that since people come down with depression for different reasons, it should be treated based on reason more than symptoms.

The latest factoid I came across, now I'm about half way through, is a study that was made with a group of about 70 people, each with medium or severe deprssion. They were split into two groups: one kept eating their regular diet but received "social support". The other adopted a diet very close to the Mediterranean diet, plus the same social support. Of the group that kept eating as they were, 8% were cured* during a 12 week period, whereas for the latter group, the number was 35%.

He also mentioned it kind of seems to work both ways: when depressed, it's easier to make poor, craving-based choices in foods and drinks, thus digging the hole even further.

*Reaching the status 'cured' meant having your BDI score drop to a level that does not reach a diagnosis of depression.

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u/lucapal1 Italy 1d ago

That's interesting.

Is it a study carried out in Finland? What was the typical diet of those who remained with their standard diet rather than changing?

I am pretty sure there are correlations between 'happiness' and diet, though how far that applies to clinical depression I don't know.

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u/Masseyrati80 Finland 1d ago

It was a section of the book that only lasted for a couple of sentences, and I don't know if references to sources work in audio book format, so unfortunately I don't know the origin of the study.

He also didn't specify what the people were eating, but has spent some chapters explaining how foodstuffs like vegetables, root vegetables and healthy oils (with olive oil getting a special mention) are connected with better mental health, whereas diets lacking fiber and vitamins, and with short/fast sugars and hard fats are connected with depression. The healthier diets work based on enabling a healthier gut microbiome, and by reducing low-grade inflammation.

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u/holytriplem -> 1d ago

I read somewhere was that depression was kind of like a spider with each leg being a major contributing factor. Those legs include things like sleep and diet, as well as various hormonal imbalances (low testosterone being a big one in men) and, of course, life circumstances. What makes depression so hard to deal with is that you have to attack each and every single one of these legs to alleviate your depression, just as you can only kill a spider by getting rid of all of its l...hang on, this analogy doesn't work does it. Did I just remember this wrong or did the idiot who came up with this confuse a spider with a hydra? Anyway tl;dr depression is difficult to cure.

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u/Masseyrati80 Finland 1d ago

I chuckled at the last sentences there, well said!

But yeah, one humongous challenge is that if depression is caused by something you'd have to change with your own actions, it can be extra difficult because 1) it may have crept in your life slowly and you haven't been able to deal with it even when you were healthy, and 2) it impairs your ability to function so much. Human agency, memory, general level of energy all go down. Decisions can be almost impossible to make. Some feel like sleeping 24/7, others sleep so little they act like zombies. You can't think about things long-term, it's all about getting through one day at a time.

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u/holytriplem -> 1d ago

I genuinely wish somebody would just invent some kind of brain causality engine so that I can understand why I'm still not completely happy even though I have everything I could possibly want in life.

Is it not being in my 20s anymore? Being in the US? Excessive smartphone use? Bad life decisions catching up with me? Just fucking TELL me goddamit so I know how to target my self-improvement

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u/Masseyrati80 Finland 1d ago

During discussions with psychologists and psychotherapists, I've been recommended three books, two of which could be seen as being a part of the self-help world. One of them talks about figuring out your personal core life values and starting to get more and more involved with them. The idea is that since life will never be endless bliss, you can at least do stuff that brings you moments of deep satisfaction as you've done something that really resonates with your core values. Working with stuff involved with your values pretty much automatically comes with a high level of motivation to get over obstacles, too.

An example of this way of thinking is that if you swapped the lives of a life-long wild animal sanctuary keeper and a billionaire tech-bro, both would be miserable and just want to go back to doing what they want: for one, their core life values include nature and being able to help, for the other it's all about economic success and high social status.

Last time I checked, the book hasn't been translated, but the title is Joustava mieli = The flexible mind, by psychologist and occupational health physician Arto Pietikäinen. He uses a lot of the methods and approaches of the "acceptance and commitment" therapy style.

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u/tereyaglikedi in 1d ago

why I'm still not completely happy

Is this even possible?

Is it not being in my 20s anymore?

I don't know, at least for me, I am much happier now than I had been when I was in my 20s. Much more autonomy in my professional life, more financial stability, happily married, and in general feeling much better with my own self in terms of achievements, knowledge etc. Being young is difficult.

Excessive smartphone use? Bad life decisions catching up with me?

Why not ask the other way? Rather than what you need to lose, ask what you would like to gain. What's a good habit you think that will improve your life?

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u/tereyaglikedi in 1d ago

Of the group that kept eating as they were, 8% were cured* during a 12 week period, whereas for the latter group, the number was 35%.

Not me itching to do statistics to see if this is significant

I wonder what happens if you really don't like the Mediterranean diet. Like you have depression, but also you hate olives and anchovies and thyme and tomatoes dressed in olive oil. Does it still work? Like, if I were depressed and someone said I need to eat greasy diner food for 12 weeks to be cured, I don't know how much that'd work.

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u/lucapal1 Italy 23h ago

If you ever watch some of those TV shows with extremely obese people, where they are supposed to lose weight...of course a change of diet is a major part.

The vast majority of them hate the idea of eating salad, fresh vegetables and lean meat etc..they want to eat pizza,fries etc.

The losing weight might make them happier (or not) but I don't think the change of diet does.Its viewed as a necessary evil at best.

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u/tereyaglikedi in 22h ago

I can totally imagine that. That's also a big reason why so many people put on weight again.

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u/Masseyrati80 Finland 23h ago

Makes me speculate about the approaches of "it's nice that this delicious food also happens to be good for me", vs. "ok, I'll think of it as medicine".

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u/tereyaglikedi in 22h ago

Yeah, it's probably the latter more often than not. And also, the Mediterranean diet often relies on home cooking and good ingredients. If you're not used to cooking and don't know how to choose ingredients, that's an added layer of stress.

As I said, I can relate. I am omnivorous as it gets, but if I had to eat lots of sweets or fried food for my health, I would be pretty miserable.

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u/holytriplem -> 1d ago edited 1d ago

I went into a hardware shop today to replace a lightbulb. Now in general, every time I do this I marvel at how much technological progress has been made in lightbulb technology over the past 20 years or so from a laughably inefficient light-producing device that was basically just a heat filament that produced light as a secondary by-product, into something that's actually designed primarily to produce light as its main purpose with a fraction of the same amount of energy. But the flipside of that is now like half the lightbulbs they sell have these added technological bells and whistles on top of being simple light-producing devices, simply because the manufacturers of said light bulbs have collectively decided, for whatever reason, that this is a thing that society needs and they can charge a premium for it.

One of the bulbs they were selling had an in-built Bluetooth speaker, so that you could, if you so choose, play music out of your lightbulb that you can control from your phone. Why anyone would choose to do this, I couldn't tell you. My guess is that, because Americans seem to have some kind of cultural aversion to ceiling lights in their living rooms for whatever reason (but why??? Why can't you just at least install ceiling light fixtures for those of us who want them??? I don't want to sit right next to a bedside lamp just to read a book without getting eye strain aaaargh), they end up having to buy a ton of standing lamps to light up each corner of the room instead. And I guess if you're going to have to do that anyway, why not turn it into a surround sound system while you're at it?

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u/orangebikini Finland 1d ago

Some people are really into smart homes. Maybe speaker light bulbs is where you just have to take it when normal smart home shit doesn't do it anymore. Like when people with porn addictions get bored of the normal stuff and start watching something super weird just to get off again.

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u/holytriplem -> 1d ago

Yeah I think that's it. Back in the 00s they were telling us that by 2020 our fridges would all be connected to the Internet and we'd be able to ask the fridge for the weather forecast. And I mean, ok, it's 2025 and I could ask the fridge to give me the weather forecast but ~~why would I expect it to answer me~~ why would I want to?

Like when people with porn addictions get bored of the normal stuff and start watching something super weird just to get off again.

I imagine soon enough the UK population is going to split into the VPN-haves that needs this stuff and the VPN-have-nots who are going to go back to getting aroused by the sight of an exposed ankle

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u/orangebikini Finland 23h ago

To be fair some of the smart home stuff is pretty cool. My former colleague had smarted his whole home up. He could heat up his electric sauna remotely from his phone, and the lights on his driveway would light up whenever he (and his phone) got like within 500 meters of his home. Stuff like that.

But then he'd also talk forever about the colour temperature of the LED-strips in his bathroom, and I'm not autistic enough for that shit.

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u/atomoffluorine United States of America 1d ago

I think every house I've been in has a ceiling light fixture (or one of those chandelier/ceiling light bulb-thingies).

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u/holytriplem -> 1d ago

In every single flat I've visited in the US, it's either the bedroom that has the ceiling lights or the living room, but never both. And then when I complain about it to Americans they just say "but...why would you want ceiling lights in your living room?"

Maybe it's a California thing?

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u/atomoffluorine United States of America 14h ago

Maybe. There's some weird things like the non presence of AC on some older homes in the Pacific Northwest that you don't see in the Southeast (or anywhere that has hot summers, probably most of the where the population lives these days). And on your worm comment that didn't pop up here; it's too easy of a joke to make and the wrong type of worm.

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u/tereyaglikedi in 1d ago

I remember watching this science program (maybe Veritasium? Don't remember) about how when light bulbs were first produced, they were super durable but the problem was that since they were so durable, people couldn't really make enough money. So, then started manufacturing them to be more disposable. Nowadays there are higher standards for bulbs, so I guess they need to give them a different edge to sell them for a high price.

It's a bit like coffee capsules.

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