I've had so many arguments where people are insistent mania is a part of BPD, but mania is only seen in bipolar 1. Most of these people are experiencing symptoms seen in HYPOmania in bipolar 2. BPD symptoms and behavior can be resemblant of mania, and someone can have bipolar 1 or 2 and BPD, but BPD is not the cause of your mania nor hypomania. Impulsive spending and euphoria do not equate to mania. Stop throwing the word mania and psychosis around!

I‘m baffled at how little most people feel?? I think only bpd folks will ever get me and how it is to live with such heavy feelings. We’re truly sensitive souls. Hugs and lots of strength out to everyone 💕

Are people serious when they say this? This is not a serious statement.

About every single young person you’ll ever meet will give you this piece of advice. Then, you’ll look deeper into their social media and whatnot and you’ll notice this person’s page is plastered with the places they’ve travelled, the things they’ve bought, and so on. Why post any of this if not to show off and build an image of yourself so that other people will like you? These people CLEARLY care what others think, and yet, I’m the crazy one for admitting what everyone else is already doing.

To care what others’ think is to be human. I, too, want to be in a relationship — to be who I “really am” would be the biggest obstacle to finding a partner.

Sometimes I wonder if we’re all living in the same dimension. My entire life, the message I’ve always gotten from society as a whole has been that should NOT be yourself, because that makes you a bad employee, a bad a romantic partner, a “cringe” friend, and so on. The last thing you want is to stand out.

Am I missing something? Is this not literally what society is, and has always been, about?

no one has touched me in over six months. I would cry so hard if someone actually hugged me. BPD has forced me into isolation. I have no friends or family because no one wants to deal with me. Why do I have to keep existing like this?

I have a confession to make , I think while I’ve always had these symptoms, heavy marijuana usage has prob made them worse???? Anyone else have this experience? Where’s my control group at lmao

Please tell me that I'm not the only one who thinks about suicide more often than about breaking up? Like the thought of breaking up after an argument never comes to my mind... My head yells at me "now you have to kill yourself. die. Die. Die!"

i’m planning on leaving my fp because i feel like he dislikes me (for context, i confessed to him and he said he doesn’t want to date because he’s avoidant, though before i even liked him he said he wanted to date someone so badly) he literally says that the most logical thing for us to do is to stop talking, though i believe that if u really love someone you’d risk something and be in a relationship rather than leaving them for good. i know hes making excuses and he even tried leaving me back then because we kept arguing, i hate him but i can’t stand the thought of being alone, having no one to stalk or having no one to talk with everyday, it hurts not getting a “goodnight” from someone everyday or just spending my day alone. i feel so miserable, i feel like ill never move on, what do i do? how do i leave him?

I have no consistent personality. How do others not look at me and go "he's fake as hell" considering how many versions of me there are? Like I'll use different word usages one day, then different another. I'll be quiet and introspective, yet I can be loud and degenerate-y.

I ask people if they think I seem like a different person every day but they tell me they see me for ME.

Like what!?

I'm obsessed with being "real" all the time that when I feel fake I just feel like I could be wasting my life. Maybe this is all real?

I know what I did to my ex at the end to make him leave was emotional and mental abuse. I know what I did was a stereotypical thing to do as someone who suffers from BPD. I know my brain wasn't being rational when I said all those nasty things to him.

And yet, I STILL keep thinking I was justified because of how I felt in the moment.

And even though I know I HURT him so much to the point he was in the hospital, he's happier now without me, so I feel like I was justified in everything.

Is the weight of what I did EVER going to fully hit me? And will I be able to handle it when that happens?

I just moved to a new city and new country where I don't know anyone, so I'm basically building my whole life from zero, which is something I really wanted to do. Before leaving my home, I did the whole DBT treatment and spent a year and a half of remission to make sure this big change wouldn't be traumatic. Since I got to my new city everything has gone great. I am so privileged to have the means to live a comfortable life and choose where to live it. Also, I have a couple of friends that don't live in the city but they've been so supportive.

About a month ago I met someone through a dating app. I went to the date just to open myself to new connections (I'm not actively looking for a partner) and things went so good. The guy was better than I expected and the first weeks were like a dream. He was good to me and we had a lot of fun. I tried not to be too clingy to protect myself, though. When he said he wanted us to be exclusive and have a more serious relationship, I told him about my journey with BPD because I think it was important for him to know, even if I haven't had crisis in months. He said it was a lot to process and he needed time to think about it because he didn't know if he's willing to "deal with that" on a relationship. I respected that and gave him time and space to think. I took a step back and stopped texting him, letting him come to me, and we didn't see each other in 2 weeks.

Yesterday we finally saw each other and had the awkward talk. He said he still needed more time to think and decide if he wanted to date me. He also said he had the gut feeling that things would not work, as in his previous relationships, but he wanted to give the relationship a chance to prove him wrong. He also mentioned that he liked me but not enough. Of course the conversation was waaaay longer, but this pretty much sus it up.

I really wanted him to keep dating me because I had felt good with him so far and I haven't had a boyfriend since my diagnosis, so I feel much more prepared to be with someone now. But listening to him talk about his fears and prejudices I just felt like I was trying him not to dump me even though I can also make the decision to leave the relationship. I told him it was very painful to keep waiting for his response because I don't want someone to love me despite my personality, I want someone that loves me because of who I am, with BPD and everything. And I feel he has so much therapy to do, even at his 35 y/o (I'm 30) if he wants to have a serious relationship. Idk. Also I told him I'd rather be alone than being with someone that always fears we're not going to work out, especially if I haven't done anything that justifies that fear. He didn't even ask me if I wanted to stay with him, and I felt I was begging him for attention, so I told him that I wouldn't wait forever for his answer.

Finally he said he still wasn't sure of his choice but he didn't want to waste my time so we should end things. He said he wanted to stay friends (of course not) but I asked him not to reach out moving forward. I thanked him for this time and said goodbye. We hugged and he started crying. Nope, not me, the girl with BPD, but him. Anyways, I went home and felt I said the correct things. I really feel I handled the situation mindfully and with wise mind, but I just can't stop crying. I don't feel like going back to dating apps and telling some other guy (or guys) about me all over again and feel rejected or even feel like I'm asking for too much just because I want respect.

Is the bar too low? Am I doomed to feel lonely and that's it? Is it possible for someone like me to be worthy of love? Am I too much?

I've noticed this trend among peeps (myself definitely included) where I will self-sabotage for attention and hurt or neglect myself for attention, even knowing potentially that nobody is going to see it.

I live alone, so things like staying up too late even though I'm tired, not eating even though I'm hungry, procrastinating work deadlines knowing I'm going to hate myself later, being sulky and irritable even though I hate feeling this way.

There's not even a purpose. No one is seeing this. The only person In hurting is myself. Why am I doing this?

i hate my bpd so much.

my partner streams online and sometimes things trigger me and i try so hard to keep it all in, but today my emotions felt like they were at 100 and i was outwardly quite upset in his chat and i just feel like the worst person alive. i hate that i can’t control myself and i say impulsive things and partners have told me me i’m having temper tantrums or i’m like a child. it feels so demeaning but i can’t deny it either. i wish i knew anyone that understood me it hurts so much, i feel like my chest is on fire i don’t want to be like this anymore. i hate that i do these things, i regret being like this so much but i feel like i can’t think straight sometimes i’m so consumed by emotion. i feel like everyone around me deserves better i hate myself so much.

I’ve cycled though three fps this year. The first my bf who I broke up with in February because I was doing everything in the relationship and felt one sided.

Then my fp became one of my guy friends who helped me through the break up and we started getting close but ended up leading me on and knew I had a crush on him the entire time, but liked the attention. Threatened to end the “friendship” because I didn’t confess first. And ended up getting a new girl. That situation made me take so many pills and had me sleeping on the floor from all the shakes and panic attacks.

Then my fp became my first ex who is a physically abusive relationship but talks to me in secret and who broke no contact with me after a few years and called me while I was crying over the previous guy. Then he confessed he still loved me and everything and I feel sick over that whole situation. He and I haven’t talked for a month and I can’t say what’s on my mind because he has me blocked everywhere “for safety” but told me he’d text when he can so that leaves me guessing with paranoia and fighting my mind constantly. And that also brings in constant panic attacks.

I just don’t understand what’s wrong with me that this keeps happening over and over. Am I not worthy to be loved the right way? Any time I get attached to someone, it triggers the worst BPD symptoms and I’ve lost hope for any future relationships.

And I didn’t plan for any of this. After the breakup I wanted to focus on myself and that’s when all of a sudden the universe decides to send two more heartbreaks. In sick of contemplating committing every second of every day

Hey guys, I just felt like posting partly for myself but partly for anyone who needed to hear it. Keep going with your inner work. Most people with BPD end up in remission! We have the most successfully treated personality disorder and we can SURVIVE this and there is a pre , present and POST BPD. It’s a story we can tell and we can learn from whatever brain chemistry and wiring gave us. We can be us but in a healthier way, we are still us. We can do better and doing better makes the world sunny,

Happy Thursday :)):

so we’ve been together like 10 months now and to be honest i struggle a lot with jealousy and trust where my boyfriend is super trusting in me and rarely gets jealous. i can count on 1 hand all the times he’s told me something has made him jealous. when i ask about this he tells me he’s very secure in our relationship and he knows i would never cheat or anything like that. and well he’s not jealous he’s still quite protective of me when it comes to other guys, theres been a few times in public where he’s said something to a guy for staring at me and there’s was a time i told him my friends boyfriend disliked me and he said he was gonna beat him up (half joking lol) i’m also not used to having my partner trust me due to my toxic exes. they were so controlling to the point that they would pick what i would wear (crazy i know) and i wasn’t allowed to even talk to other guys. so i guess being in this relationship where he trusts me and lets me have freedom it kinda comes off as maybe he doesn’t care about me.

I do it daily because it’s too intense and I’ll be judged and faced with consequences while making dumb people feel uncomfortable because I’m not replicating typical body language for the environment. People have so much to learn but yet if they can’t understand you they will outcast you or target you as dangerous or crazy or blah.

I don’t know what to do, even tiny rejections makes me fckn hate myself. If I sense someone being sarcastic about me (even if this is from my favorite person) I become outraged. I have the shortest temper, everyday I try to be better for the people I love but I cannot even stand myself how can I stand them? I really try to be a better partner, daughter, friend but I feel so tired and going backwards.

With my parents. I can't stand them. Mainly my mum. But also I'm terrified not to be around my dad / home / be out in the world (I love my dad). I'm trying to separate, but am now ill so have been living with them for a while and accepting their help, and have always returned home.

I look at booking a food delivery and I'm like "I need to ask mum. I can't ask mum, when I dislike her, I can't get help from her when I'm not willing to help her myself. I can't accept help when I will reject her when I feel better."

There's a voice in my head saying "oh yeah it's only OK on your terms. You're using her then throwing her aside when you don't need her".

How the hell do I get out of this way of relating? It's like I just can't escape it and it is horrible.

I mean, I'm looking at CoDa but I cannot stand 12 step. But otherwise I can't see a way out.

I was diagnosed with impulsive BPD back in September 2022, and recently I've found that it's getting out of control. I am regularly making snap decisions to go out and get drunk and do drugs, which can continue for a few days at a time. When I do, I'm on a high, missing work and not going home (I'm 37 but currently living at my mom's).

When I get back, I feel ashamed, embarrassed and just want to change. But I'm finding it increasingly difficult to control my impulses, even though I know they are causing so much trouble. The last time it happened was the past few days, in response to a failed attempt at dating. I've spoken to my doctor about support but in all honesty he doesn't seem very clued up on mental health.

The problem is, if I don't find a way to challenge my impulsive urges, this is a cycle that is going to continue again and again. And my fear is I'll lose my job, get kicked out or even end up dead from substance misuse. Despite these fears, I just can't seem to stop the vicious cycle.

Can anyone offer any practical advice I can use? Or does anyone have a similar lived experience?

I have talked to this guy for 2 months and we were so flirty and things were going well, and he decided to end things with me, he had his own reasons. I got so attached to him since day one.. and I am having a really hard time since I got so attached to him, and no I don't love him, but I got used to him being a part of my routine and he was my type too.

What are your ways to detach or how do you not spiral and go insane because you're left all alone without your FP..?