Pain is the greatest catalyst for growth. I watched my father die, have BPD and Bipolar, and a host of other problems. I hate it, but I am grateful for it. It has taught me skills and shown me things about myself I would never know otherwise. Every parent has their kid go through difficult things growing up. It doesn't mean they hate you. God gave mankind free agency. It is a huge responsibility, as our actions can have a profound impact on others, for good or bad. It was given to us to learn and grow and struggle and become stronger and more knowledgeable than before. I didn't come by this overnight. I prayed. I didn't use words or was formal in any way. I was going through some shit, and was sitting alone in my bedroom. I took all of the pain, fear, anxiety, self loathing, and anger, and shot it out into the universe with no direction. I had two questions: "why?" and "What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?". The rest is history. It didn't all get answered overnight, and I still struggle with alot today, but I remember distinctly having a feeling of peace blossom in my chest. It wasn't "everything is going to be okay" or anything like that. It was like a squeeze on the shoulder by a loving parent. It was more of a "i see you, you aren't alone" kind of thing.
I know this might not help, and if someone told me this when I was in your spot, I would have told that Bible freak to go fuck himself. But this is just my thoughts and experience. FYI I don't go to church or pray often or read the Bible. Im just mindful of God a couple times a week for a few minutes.
Yeah tottally understand that. I had also growth a lot after pain experiences . But rn I dont feel like anything that is worthy will happened. I am too imcopentent for that..
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u/Depressed_PoopSponge 1d ago
Pain is the greatest catalyst for growth. I watched my father die, have BPD and Bipolar, and a host of other problems. I hate it, but I am grateful for it. It has taught me skills and shown me things about myself I would never know otherwise. Every parent has their kid go through difficult things growing up. It doesn't mean they hate you. God gave mankind free agency. It is a huge responsibility, as our actions can have a profound impact on others, for good or bad. It was given to us to learn and grow and struggle and become stronger and more knowledgeable than before. I didn't come by this overnight. I prayed. I didn't use words or was formal in any way. I was going through some shit, and was sitting alone in my bedroom. I took all of the pain, fear, anxiety, self loathing, and anger, and shot it out into the universe with no direction. I had two questions: "why?" and "What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?". The rest is history. It didn't all get answered overnight, and I still struggle with alot today, but I remember distinctly having a feeling of peace blossom in my chest. It wasn't "everything is going to be okay" or anything like that. It was like a squeeze on the shoulder by a loving parent. It was more of a "i see you, you aren't alone" kind of thing.