Got ghosted

[u/Mein_Komfort]

So this guy I met recently was trying to be my friend or so I thought, right after he kinda blew me off, I go to see that he unfriended me. I keep replaying in my head what I could have done wrong as well as knowing his behavior was kinda shitty, especially after he told me how he didn't like this behavior from others. He turns around and does it to me and I'm not sure how to get the rage to go away. I'm having a hard time dealing with all the wounds this opens up for me. We weren't even close but this died not help my abandonment issues man😭

[u/Mein_Komfort]

I don't get ghosting tbh.... like why can't we tell someone what they did wrong? Maybe they don't know and would fix it if you just said something. Now I could see ghosting if if the person is creepy or dangerous...but ghosting over a misunderstanding or me doing something odd(I'm autistic, that happens a lot) is kinda just like...why? Maybe it's just me but being ghosted sucks... especially as someone with abandonment issues. I feel like if you care about someone or claim to, you at least should tell them why you're leaving? Now if you don't, can't really say much. It's not a "you have to tell me" but "it'd be really nice if you did"

[u/False-Insurance500 → u/Mein_Komfort]

I cant talk for others, but most of the times its not something they did wrong, its that I see that we are just not compatible and we could not understand each other or get from each other what we need.

Sometimes its not even that, the other person doesnt have anything else to say and I dont either, so the convo just dies.

To give you a specific example, I know that some kind of ppl wouldnt ever understand me, so when I see that kind of thinking I just lose interest. And when I lose interest, I lose my curiosity to get to know that person, so I dont have anything to say.

Although now that I thik about it, I dont think i have ghosted that much. I have done it, yes, but since i feel guilty when I dont know what to say, it doesnt weights on me when they ghost me...

[u/Mein_Komfort → u/False-Insurance500]

I mean I guess for me? I can always work on anything if someone tells me. So when someone doesn't even give me the chance, it feels like I'm some object someone got tired of and threw in the trash without a care or thought and that feels awful. I think it mostly felt yucky because he said he felt the same way about it? I don't think it'd bother me this much if he never said that

[u/False-Insurance500 → u/Mein_Komfort]

hmm i understand. maybe you are putting too much weight in when he said that he felt the same. Many ppl can feel the same and still be incompatible or uninteresting to each other. For example, many women feel lonely, and they still dont want me lol

[u/Mein_Komfort → u/False-Insurance500]

I'm not understanding how I could? He said it traumatized him and would go on and on about it. It sounded like I understand correctly that he felt similar to me about the subject. I'm not saying we had to be friends. I just wish that he could have said something is all

[u/False-Insurance500 → u/Mein_Komfort]

I can't really know what he was thinking... My guess is what I said, lack of interest, which isnt something that can be fixed. I get what you say of at least being told good bye, but ppl do this cause its easier and requires less emotional effort

[u/Mein_Komfort → u/False-Insurance500]

I mean I get that...but that's not exactly a good thing is my point. I know they do it because it's easier for them but in my opinion, if you can't handle telling someone you aren't giving well with them or that they did something you didn't like... maybe you aren't really looking for a close friendship? I dunno about you, but I wouldn't feel very keen on getting close to someone I'd have to worry about walking on eggshells with or they'll just disappear. We could be casual friends. That's more a 'pick it up and leave it whenever' kinda thing. I dunno. And I don't know what he was thinking either. That's kinda the bad part of ghosting. No one knows what happened but the ghoster