Help I think I’m losing it

[u/Background_Divide950]

Today was a good day but a minor inconvenience happened and I got really depressed and now I have suicidal ideas and I think life has no meaning and I think im actually crazy like something wrong in my brain and I’m gonna lose it. Is it a common symptom of BPD?

I know I won’t harm myself but the ideas are really strong and take over my entire mind I don’t feel okay with anything nothing is making me feel better, I try to sleep and even the way I lay down doesn’t feel good I’m really sad and worried I’m going actually insane

[u/Yellowcup508]

i have idea's often of ideation often too havent had recently but its taken persistent form for probly over most of the last decade for me for myself it takes form of building a machine heavy blade and then travels less into the though of that coming down on me and more into well would i need a pully system and like what couloud would i paint it? and ive svisited these thoughts so often that to me and this might sound crazy but to me if i am hurt emotionaly from relationship space type of stuff or some pains and stuff that the idea of the machine is actuly soothing and calming to me

if your not gonna actuly do anything allow the thoughts to happen the thoughts might be like a form of self soothing for you as they are for me i wonder if also if for myself it might about control or maybe instead about things being certain because i know for me uncertanty ESPESILY in relationships causes alot of stressing and suffering and i dont like it at all

what i was able to turn my ideation into was sort of the thought of hey would i enjoy building something like that or instead maybe a catapult and going to some renesaince fair or somethign like this? and if so then that is somethng that i would enjoy and therefor is a reason to be alive

to me it sounds like a little bit the same from myself?

is it that the ideation is less painful than the things which came from the minor inconvienice?

and also question

which thing would you prefer to talk about do you want to maybe shift the convo to talk about the thing that happened earlier in the day and kinda why it set you off?

or instead the thoughts taking over your mind

your not insane though because you are questioning your sanity and this to me says you are sane just in a scary place or in a spot within the mind that you dont really want to hang out in maybe

can you put on some herbal non caffine tea? and maybe eat some cereal or anything?