need advice on how to quit him

[u/Clear_Report2756]

i really hope someone responds to this. sorry first time really posting on reddit. kind of a long story i really need to get a hold on my life and this relationship. i have been seeing this man for the last year. he has manipulated, gaslight, verbally, and mentally abused me, and i let him so that is also my fault. not and excuse more of an explanation, i grew up physically and verbally abused by my father, he gave me black eyes, broke my nose etc. so i don’t have the best coping skills in relationships with men.

i have a ptsd diagnosis due to my childhood, but my therapist recently diagnosed with me borderline personality disorder. i also recently got diagnosed with adhd. i have read and learned that both of these disorders make it very hard to move on, even from bad situations such as this. i care for him a lot, i once was very much in love with him. in a way i feel bad for him but i am a pretty successful women for my age, and he is very mad at where he is at in life. he tells me he struggles with depression as well and wants to get a hold on his life and i feel the same. we enjoy a lot of the same things and laugh together. but, we should’ve ended things a long time ago, i do and we have multiple times, but i always end up unblocking him and he ends up reaching out. or, i leave him unblocked on one platform so he can reach out. he tells me he’s “too selfish” to leave me alone. the longest i’ve had him fully blocked, no contact, in all the time that we’ve known each other was 3 weeks, which was recently and i just started seeing him again this month.

sorry i am rambling, just trying to explain our situation and background, but i just found out last week i am pregnant. we had already talked about what we would do in a situation like this and it was an abortion. i told him and he was supportive of my feelings and my choices at first then he progressively as the days went on got meaner and meaner to me. he fully blames me and says it’s my fault that i got pregnant. his main reasoning was when i forgot to take a plan be after we had an accident, but i got my period 3 days later. this was months ago, i’ve had my period twice since then. i took a plan b the last time we had sex which was about 4 weeks ago since we had another accident and i ended up pregnant, even after taking a plan b. he still blames me.

he asked me to hangout because he has been sad recently. we had a conversation that led into a fight and he doesn’t want to pay for the abortion anymore, i don’t know what to do. this is not what i want for myself and i am so lost, disgusted and disappointed in myself i just need advice on how to navigate this experience.

[u/Spirited-Mission-273]

Im not great with advice in this situation because I've forced myself to stay in relationships that I really shouldn't have. It sounds like you're trauma bonded to him. The pregnancy just adds complications.

Im sorry you're going through this, but always do what's right for you.