r/BPD • u/HistoricalInjury9754 • 18h ago

❓Question Post Do you ever feel like poison?

Do you ever feel like poison? Like everything you touch becomes infected with your “badness”? I feel that way whether it be relationship, friendship, or something that I get involved with. I feel like I destroy everything around me, almost like the universe is working against me no matter what I do. And I really don’t know what to do about it. I think I must’ve done something really bad in this life or a past life.

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u/havexactchange 17h ago

Yes! Im leaving my partner because of it. I go from committed to get the hell away from me because i split so often. Its devastating but idk what else to do other than to just be alone.

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u/HistoricalInjury9754 17h ago

I relate to that. I’ve tried to leave my gf, but she’s much more resilient than me and reassures me that I’m not as bad as I perceive myself to be. But I feel like one day she’s gonna see it and leave me. I’m terrified of that day coming.

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u/Ugghernaut 9h ago

She sees it, she's just hoping you'll change. She's hoping that pretending it's not that bad will help you get better. So actually get help and be better.