Do people actually get over their FP?

[u/Dino-nugget_child]

I was BEST friends with this girl for a year and she was the first person who actually seemed to care about my depression and take me seriously, when we were friends it was probably pretty much the worst place I’d ever been in mentally. I got extremely attached and blah blah blah. Basically it’s been over 3 years since we stopped being friends and I still have dreams about her 2-3 nights a week and I am totally not over her. I wish she would just hug me and tell me it will all be ok. She doesn’t give a damn about me anymore. I tried reaching out to be friends again twice, once when we weren’t friends for 8 months, and again when we hadn’t been friends for a year and 3 months. She’s stubborn and sorta fucked up and mean but I miss her. I don’t know why, she’s just a person, but my soul was so deeply invested in our friendship. I have never loved another person the way I loved her. She’s my Roman Empire and I think about and miss her every day. I’ve thought about paying her to hang out with me (I don’t even know if she’d say yes) but I feel like that’s so desperate and ridiculous. I probably seem like a crazy obsessive ex to her, and to be fair I guess I’m kinda that, but I mean well. I just want her to hold me. I miss her so much and I have dreams about her and then I wake up and ruminate the whole day about her. I had a dream last night that I begged and begged her to be my friend and she said yes and then we planned all these crafts to do and then we were gonna hang out the next day and then the next day comes and she had blocked me on everything. I feel like I will never have closure and I don’t think she cares about me but I think she likes that she has power over me. I just am toast in the grand scheme of things relating to missing her. I’ve been in the psych hospital 3x because of missing her and I feel it creeping up on me again. I don’t know what to do. It’s been over 3 years!!!!!! What am I supposed to do? Just let it pass? Well, letting it pass is not working! And I talk to my therapist about it all the time and it’s not something a therapist can solve. I just don’t know why I can’t move on or how. Please someone help me I literally am going crazy missing her

[u/EnthusiastPeruser]

What caused you to stop being friends?

[u/Dino-nugget_child → u/EnthusiastPeruser]

I'll call my FP (M). I was a very energetic talkative person before the depression took over, as that happened I became quiet and "boring", and she said she felt like she had to put up a front so it wouldn't be silent. She said it was exhausting. M also had an ex gf that had struggled with sucidality, ed, and sh, M was at the brunt of all her ex's problems and she was like "the only reason why she didn't khs was because of me" and in the way of it seemed as if her ex didn't appreciate how much M actually did. When we were friends I discovered Sh and was hooked, and I eventually talked to M a little bit about it, but I think M really tried to stay away from helping due to her saying that it really messed her up dealing with her ex. She only told us about her ex a little while after me telling her about my stuff. And obviously it wasn't M's job to help, but the whole thing was just not a good time for me. I think that was part of the reason she wanted to stop being my friend because she didn't want to be involved in the mental illness/sh thing again. She started hanging out with other girls and I was soooooo jealous and she didn't want to hang out with me. Me and her were in a trio and I vented to the other girl and she sent it to M. The other girl (A), has her own problems and was abused as a child and was mean sometimes but she sent my vent to M. M says that "she needs to calm tf down". I went to a php and it was 2 weeks long and we got really distant, it felt so freeing but I think that's really where grew apart in that time. And we would kinda y passive aggressive with each other over text sometimes. Then one day I just let it all out in the gc, what I felt over that year, and I just told her she could leave me on opened on Snapchat where I sent it. We would sit and eat breakfast at school every morning usually and after ranting the friendship just was awkward and I was like "I'm not gonna go to the breakfast table", and she was like I probably won't either, and A and M went to the table and I had already went to class and A said to M, H (me) doesn't want to be friends if you don't want to be friends. M shrugged and that was the end. I had previously ranted over the phone to A about not wanting to if she didn't. But I wouldn't have actually asked M that. I didn't know how to feel after that, I was free, but I still had that brick on my chest of missing her. I don't think a friendship like that is save-able anyway but I still yearn. I don't know if I wish I had stayed her friend or not, I was miserable with her, but miserable grieving extremely painfully sometimes. Out of all the emotions I've ever experienced, missing her is the most painful. I grew my life after I stopped being her friends but it still REALLY hurts sometimes