Not sure if this is BPD but I completely feel like neglecting or abandoning everything unless I like someone.

[u/Slippycapper]

Its like if I dont like a guy I dont want anything else in life. Even if I have everything in life I will b unhappy. Its very difficult for me to like a guy as well. Even if try to be happy with my self I end up wanting a guy, especially when I see other people in relationships or if I’m with close friends.

Im not as reminded of it if I’m jus around people that I’m not super close with or if they r not a couple. Whenever I’m with someone like a friend or family I seek deep intimacy from something else.

I feel like I dont care about anything in life unless theres a guy. I get turned off by guys very fast as well so I’m stuck in this catch 22 situation for some time now and I want advice.

[u/Yellowcup508]

i don't feel really qualified to give much advice on this one.. maybe another woman can help

i will say this bit though

If it's not a Hell yes then it is a no

remove confusion and uncertainty from the equation as much as possible and give to your own self the clarity

[u/Slippycapper → u/Yellowcup508]

Even if u have changed ur mind about something in the past? Even if you are not feeling a hell yes maybe because u don't know enough about something yet?

[u/Yellowcup508 → u/Slippycapper]

i got snacks now let me try again

let me slow myself down because i am picking up on a few things

on the first part is this more about you liking the guy or the him liking you is it the you being into him? or more just some attention/validation which you are receiving? for me.. im on my wway to one day being a old balie now.. but when i was younger say maybe say 24 25 26 whatever i would at times be like ohi need a gurlfriend i want that however.. this can very often then turn into OH man i have a girlfriend and she is going to make me crazy! either some yelling abuse just ughhhhh what have i done?! what have i create in my life! sometimes we want things but then once we have we are more like holy jebus what have i done?!

if your gonan get into a relationship and date keep in mind what dynamic or kinda things are important to you it gets more important i find as i get older i just dont want stress

wanting it when you see it is makes sense out of sight out of mind kinda lets skip to the bottom thing

"I feel like I dont care about anything in life unless theres a guy. I get turned off by guys very fast as well so I’m stuck in this catch 22 situation for some time now and I want advice."

this here that you say

are you maybe perhaps just kinda chasing the excitment phase or the feelings of newness and excitment? or maybe just you like something if its mysterious sort of that maybe you are more attracted to whatever you might create in your own imagination then who people actually are?

it sounds like you get the "ick" easily too is there any possibility that you might be able to involve the logical side of the brain into your decision making process?

lets do a excersice maybe

if for example you were going to have a relationship or even someone to go do things with then what is it that you would want this to look like?

maybe you want someone who will get drag you out of the house go new places because you isolate or something or this that and the other thing but..

more importantly you ashould figure out how is it you want to be treated what are the things that are important for you so that you can feel calm and safe with somebody? THIS is one that is super important

it sounds like your kind of chasing highs and fleeting emotion possibly but is uncertain

what if you involved some thoughts or analsis of chasing calmness peace and or stability?

or chasing healthy emotional connection

u might be well serve be steping back inside of youw own self and finding a little bit of what those awnsers might look like to you for your own self

sometimes a good way to discover that can just be interacting with people who you find yourself drawn to or attracted too also which it sounds like your already hitting this target but take a moment to reflect what did you like about all these people?

and also what are thing things which were off putting to yourself

figure out what those are and maybe use that infomation to help your own self to put together and figure out what it is you might want for your own self is kinda of my thoughts or advice i would give you

[u/LitlPretzel]

i personally have accepted that as a guy with BPD, no girl is ever going to want any part of me. i just remind myself of that and my desires are instantly crushed. easier to focus on myself. i feel your pain tho, no amount of accomplishment in life seems worth it if there’s no one to share it with. it’s annoying how much a lack of companionship can hurt you. being human sucks.

[u/Slippycapper → u/LitlPretzel]

For me I worry I won't b able to do extremely normal or health relationships but the bad ones r not good either.

[u/LitlPretzel → u/Slippycapper]

people like us often settle for toxic relationships because we know we can’t keep a healthy one. but all it does is break us down even more. there was a time when i thought i wouldn’t care if a girl cheated on me, abused me, hurt me.. just as long as i could call her mine.. but i think id rather be alone forever than betray myself like that. i’m lonely asf, but for me, that’s a best case scenario.

[u/Slippycapper → u/LitlPretzel]

For me yeah partly I feel healthy people are too different to me now and might not understand. At the same time I feel like healthy would bore or make me feel trapped. I crave that intensity and fun.

[u/LitlPretzel → u/Slippycapper]

lol, i totally understand that feeling. it’s a high that i’ve chased into absolutely hell. all the things that are so wrong feel.. so right