I decided to step away from the meds currently taking Lamotrigine 150mg and Lurasidone 20mg. I feel numb most of the time, also my libido has decreased and during sex I feel so dry and usually my partner needs to stop because of that. I’m having difficult time having orgarms also don’t feel any excitement in life at all.

I’ve been dating a bipolar male for about four years he broke up with me a few times during those four years all initiated by him my question is when they are in love or claim to be in love is it real to them or is it on and off feeling they get I’m seriously confused by the times he has broken up with me and he has also lied about other things that I’m not happy about at the moment. We are getting back together and working on some things but he’s currently depressed again so I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m losing myself in this relationship and I just was wondering if when they claim to be in love do they mean it? Also, he is starting a new medication. He has been unmedicated for years, and I was wondering if that will cause emotional numbness and could potentially just lead us in a path of not being able to reconcile I care about him I truly do, but I also have to take care of my heart and I don’t wanna go through the heartbreak again if that’s where it’s heading.

I’m considering if I should appeal my NS exemption

For context, I’m 23 years and I’m exempted from NS due to psychiatric medical condition of bpd & manic depression but I didn’t had any serious relapses or any history of admittance to IMH(As my mum made sure I didn’t due to the hostile & unstable environment of general ward)

Few years back I received a green letter from Mindef indicating not needing to serve NS - I was contented at first without knowing the repercussions (I was 20 back then) However now, regrettably I’m experiencing job transition crisis due to difficulty finding a job as some HRs either doesn’t follow up or gaslight my assurance after they question my NS completion status. Not to also mention the stigma and being a social outcast as I have little in common with my friends who have completed NS hence of my smaller social circle now

For further context, in the past I was a poly dropout due to course incompatibility and poor mental health issues as I was unable to be adjustable to adapt despite after semester deferment that time

Fast forward to the present now I’m currently in the midst of pursuing my part time business diploma under Kaplan whilst searching for a full time job as I’d need a job to pay my study loans. Left my previous telemarketing sales job due to unable to achieve sales kpi for probation.

I’ve heard the possibility of people with similar health status/condition serving NS but of lower Pes E status(Storemen/Admin clerk duties) and that mindef are able to accommodate and permit part-time diploma studies alongside (though not sure if it’s feasible)

I had over 2 years in retail and 2.5 years of hospitality hotel working experiences but it was mostly part-time and traineeship basis. I’ve given some thought that maybe working under the hotel line is compatible for me but though I have interest to work in the area of corporate/marketing operations hence the decision to take a business diploma instead of hospitality.

Back to my concern, I’m worried of the potential consequences or other implications such as employability and social stigma/discrimination and furthermore I don’t know if I could ever live with a stain on my record being exempted and the ridicule of my manhood not serving NS

I’ve read previous other Reddit post regarding NS exemptions, though some includes ‘assuring’ comments of ‘Oh you should regard yourself lucky’, ‘most guys would envy you for you for being exempted, be glad’ I’m not sure if I should perceive as helpful or assuring but I would need realistic advices and perspectives/second opinions on the potential implications and the cons of getting exempted from NS.

Any form of response or helpful advice would be appreciated, thank you🙏🏻

I have nearly lost feelings for everyone around me.. my family my husband my kids.. and when i am sad or angry i do not differnciate between old and young.. i can be very violent.. i try to hold it but I can't and i really really regret doing what i did after a short while.. i either have to scream or hit something really hard to feel okay.. what do you do in those cases? How would you wake yourself up? How do you stop this?

CW: Suicide

I've been suicidal since I was 11. I'm 34 now. I've been seeking treatment for this condition for the better part of 15 years, and no medicine has really worked. Multiple doctors are confident on the diagnoses over the years and through different states. They want me to try ECT now, which I'm not willing to do. I effectively don't remember the first 20 years of my life except for bits and pieces, and I'm not willing to lose more of that to ECT. Frankly, I'd rather die.

I do not produce any feelgood chemicals, even when hypomanic. I do not experience pleasure. I just find things to pass time.

I'm no longer willing to go to the hospital, as my state is a nightmare in that regard. It just made things worse last time I went.

I've tried. At this point, my wife, brothers, and parents know what's up and know how bad the condition is. My death would be painful for them, but not unexpected. I just don't understand why I am obligated to live when I hate every second of being awake.

I have a date set, and I'm just finishing prep at this point.

I really tried.

Please help, I've been a mess over this because it's so upsetting.

I've been a mixed media art hobbyist for over ten years, and have invested a lot into this pasttime. Lots of paint, watercolour paper, fluid media for mixing, pouring, and finishing. I've begun the process of switching to digital and getting to the point I realise I need to donate a LOT of stuff to the local high school.

I'm making the switch because:

a) I recently downsized and have half to a third the space

b) it's messy work I no longer have a shop to make a mess in, it's all living space now

c) I live with visual impairment and progressive sight loss and feel like focusing on digital art still lets me play, explore, and work without having to spend time on cleanup

d) I realise it's still possible for me to use my paints etc but just not wanting to invest the necessary time into logistics, which for me are especially gnarly

e) I have already gotten experience doing digital artwork and enjoy it. I recently upgraded my iPad to help motivate me to make the switch.

I've done minimalism several times over the past decade, and I guess that's where some of my misgivings come from. I've fixed the spending habits that got me into the pickle I'm in now with way too much stuff, but still picking up the pieces.

Hi all. I take Vraylar 4.5mg one and a half month i noticed a little bit difference but recently (2 weeks before) i came off completely of Effexor and i think the only withdrawal symptoms i have are psychological or\and are from my mixed state i am right now for a long time especially with the shitty Effexor that messed up my stability over time. At first was nice to got me out of a depressive episode. My doctor and I we are not sure what is the cause and if i need more time off Effexor to realize if it is my partial untreated mixed state and that's the reason he put me on Depakote plus Vraylar. Currently 1500mg just three days now. I do not know if i feel better over time with this combo or i have to increase Vraylar to 6mg. Actually in my country came at 2022 and is called Reagila and he does not know enough for this med for monotherapy. It sucks. Anyway is there anyone out there with difficult bipolar episode and type who successfully being treated well with only Vraylar? And what dose?

Tell me about it

TL;DR: I stopped taking duloxetine last week initially by accident but felt better ever since, but may be hypomania.

Despite all the medication I take which includes mood stabilizers and antipsychotics as well, I still spend most of my days in a depressive state with occasional euthymic and hypomanic states that last a few weeks. I generally become more functional and confident in myself, but can sometimes still be emotional whether it's through being too easily excited, irritable, or somewhat impulsive.

However, since last week, I've stopped taking my antidepressants (Duloxetine), initially by accident because I've had it mixed up with an unrelated blood pressure medication while having some brain fog, but I noticed I've been feeling better ever since quitting it, though it does seem like hypomania because of how I've been sleeping less.

I've always wanted to taper off some of my medication as the cost is getting somewhat unbearable and I still haven't found a long enough stable phase in my life to be independent. My psychiatrist would keep rejecting it and continue to prescribe me the same medication at the same dosage as she claims it's to "observe any gradual changes". I've already considered changing my psychiatrist because of this and I'm still looking.

Even then, would I really be better off without antidepressants? There are some articles, studies, and books I've seen that claim that too much of it causes mood instability and mania for those with bipolar, but my doctor said if I quit it, it could worsen my depression even though it has done the opposite right now.

It's been several years since I've had this feeling.. I'm bipolar depressive. Im on the correct regimen of medicine that has been great for me and has kept me stabilized. I'm a 40 year old male. Can a drop in temperature with the weather be the cause? I'm in the triad of NC and it has been brutally hot all summer and now the temp has been in the upper 50s in the morning.

I know it's not seasonal depression because I've been through different seasons in several years and haven't felt mood swings like I have been yesterday and today. I mean this cold front came suddenly though. I think my sleeping hours changing also play a role because I've been up late being off work for the 3rd day now, I go back tomorrow. I work part time. I'm also on Ssdi and my benefits are continuing I just found out today after a yearly review so I'm happy because of that but still feel depressive swings. I wear my CPAP mask religiously too so I get decent sleep. I'm just in a funk right now and hoping it doesn't get worse.

I'm using coping mechanisms that I learned in the psyche wards a few years ago when I was there for suicidal thoughts. Like working on music. I'm not at that point though no suicidal thoughts now. I'm probably gonna watch one of my favorite child hood movies Angels in the outfield on my DVR soon. By the way I'm prescribed zoloft100 mg 11/2 tabs daily and abilify as well once daily which is probably a higher dose prescribed for Zoloft but they have helped me before. A lot of the other mood stabilizers made my body really over heat when I was trying them in the psyche wards so had to stop them when I was there.

I got into an argument last night that wasn't related to the original problem but this morning my husband said something that made me feel extremely insecure. I apologized for being a bad partner all these years with my mood swings, my manic episodes that destroyed my marriage. I told my partner I'm finally medicated I'm more level headed and aware of my emotions. And my spouse says "Great I have a wife who's medicated, I never wanted that" he says. "Nobody wants a partner like that" It made me feel self conscious and just made me stop arguing and just shut me down. I wish I didn't have this disorder too, it's difficult and frustrating to know this is a disorder that is out of my control that I can only manage by being able to take medication for the rest of my life because it really does help me function. I got it genetically, that is out of my control, and I wish my spouse wasnt so upset. Yet, I understand how he feels I know he is still upset about everything that happened in the past and that's something that is difficult to forgive. I feel like everyone says that mental health matters but when it comes to being Bipolar that is something that is just addressed differently in society because no one who has this doesn't see the disorder sometimes I feel like they only see the mistakes and bad decisions we make

I am 19 F Bipolar 1 with psychotic features and catatonic like states

I was diagnosed in june a few days after my birthday. I told my dad and the first thing he said to me was 'theres nothing wrong with you, you know how much money it would cost if you had bipolar?'. He told me not to do any meds, he told me I need to go through years of therapy etc. for someone to be able to diagnose me. I've had to pay pretty much out of pocket for my sessions with my psychiatrist (by now ive had 5) because my insurance just wouldnt offer any coverage unless i reached my deductible, which is hard because I only had $3000 saved.

I spend a shit ton during my episodes. I was able to save $3000 from my minimum wage job in just a couple months before my symptoms were noticeable. It is all gone now. college classes have begun again and genuinely I just cannot work during the week. But I also know i'll be throws off kilter if I work 7 hours saturday and sunday. I just got paid which it was less than I would usually get because id been rapid cycling pretty much since my diagnosis (im fine now) and more than half of my paycheck had to go to a parking permit that was $223 so that I could actually park and go to the school my parents are paying 10's of thousands of dollars for.

I am unmedicated, I am not allowed to go on meds and I dont feel like I would be able to take them in a safe way unless I had some supervision. That would be my parents but my dad already told me he doesnt believe in my diagnosis, he calls me stupid for considering meds etc. and my mom is just plain crazy so..I cannot afford anymore meeting with my psychiatrist but i am using the counseling program at my school.

Last week we found out I had some form of catatonia along with my diagnosis. It was right after I got off a call with my psych. I had 30 minutes until I had to be on the bus to go to work, and I simply could not move..unless to write my thoughts down. I was having rapid thoughts, my speech was overly symbolic, I was speaking like I was hallucinating and having delusions..which i wasnt but sometimes I convinced myself I was. I even texted the whole family group chat. I was like that for about 3 or 3 and a half hours.

The next morning my mom (because she's crazy) said the resin necklace I was wearing was cursed by the devil..

im sorry what?

I dont have access to resources regarding money because my parents make $250k, they have a strict budget (f you dave ramsey) and absolutely WILL NOT help me pay for anything. I need to work more, but i absolutely cannot. it makes me worried for my future since before I only worked 18 hours a week and even that would send me off at times.

Hello,

I was wondering how it feels like when the meds are working and you have been considered stable for months or years. My psychiatrist told me you can be considered stable after 5 years. Can you completely avoid all episodes?

Is it even achievable?

Thank you!

First of all, I think i need to preference this by saying no one sexually abused me as a kid. By the time i was in third grade I was already thinking about sex. By 4th grade, i was addicted to porn and masturbating in between classes. I was so excited to get my period, why? Because I thought you couldn’t have sex until it came! I spent my whole highschool career having sex with older guys. Then a few years ago I found out I was bipolar. Can anyone help me understand why it manifested this way?

My whole life is a manic depression episode at the moment. I'm intensely angry then intensely depressed. Then happy, then balling my eyes out... currently trying to focus on the sound of crickets outside which is slightly comforting but also reminds me of my girlfriend that just left

Unbelievable. Idk who this person is, but she vacuumed under the couch. I guess I am her. It was wild I haven’t cleaned like that in years. I found 14 socks, even.

I was wondering if anybody else has experienced this. Last summer when I was smoking weed I would get psychosis symptoms. Hearing things , tasting things , bad derealization, and just the glow in my face went away. I wasn't taking my meds like I should've during that time (Lamotrigine) . I've noticed I don't get the paranoia or psychosis if I smoke on my meds, which I take everyday now. I'm on day 4 of being sober but just wondering if anybody else does better smoking weed on their bipolar meds ?

😢😢😢 FTW

Hi! This is my first post so bear with me… I (25F) have always struggled with my mental health my entire life. I have been on an SSRI since puberty and two years ago (this month actually) I was put on Vraylar to help with my depression. After a month or two of taking Vraylar (and having all the unfortunate symptoms, weird mouth movements, insomnia, anxiety, suicidal thoughts; you name it, I was experiencing it) we put an immediate halt on the medication and went back to what I was on previously… Fast forward two years, and I am having the worst mental health crisis of my life… The irritability and mood swings are so extreme, I scare myself… I have no motivation, and I’m depressed all the time, all I do is cry. Im anxious about every movement, and over think every single thing. I swing from depressed, and crying over something minute, to screaming, and yelling, and sweeping off the counter at the drop of a pin. As of 3months ago, I am on a cocktail of medication, and I have been seeing a therapist weekly for a year and a half now (started seeing her due to the extreme depressive episode from the Vraylar), but I can just not shake this funk… I just thought these feelings would pass but it has been two years and looking through past memories I can see a night and day difference between before I started Vraylar and now… I didn’t see the correlation at the time, but my jobs and my relationship have been deeply effected by my mental decline and I’m just looking for an answer at this point. I guess I’m just wondering if medications can have long lasting effects on brain chemistry, or if this is something someone else has experienced after trying a medication like this?

I’ve seen so many instances of people saying things like ‘ her life was so hard, but she never gave in to mental illness’. I saw a doctor post something about someone she knows. Which I understand if you say something like ‘he smiled through everything,’ but no it has to be something which belittles those who struggle. I’ve seen so many people say things which basically translate to - if you have a mental illness you’re weak. Do they not realise how resilient and patient we have to be, diagnosed with a lifelong condition. I’ve lost friends over the word ‘bipolar’. I’ve lost a person who talked so much about uplifting those with mental health issues (she had a whole social media page on it), but the moment she found out her friend of 13 years had it (never experienced major symptoms with her so it’s not like I hurt her), nope, her words were just words. Anyways I’ve decided that it’s better if I tell people from the get go. Prospective partners etc, I’ll just tell them when I meet them. Then if they decide they can’t do it I won’t mind as much. Part of me wishes to only date those who get it, but I feel like it’d be chaotic dating someone else with it so idk, I’ll just forget about it for now. There was this guy who asked me out on a date, I told him I’d let him know, but I’m still unsure. Summer is over and university is starting for me. I’m kind of excited, because there’s this english (lit) class I can finally take, and I’m really looking forward to it.

Every September I swear my depression just spirals— does anyone have any recommendations for not going too far down? I can already feel it coming after an entire summer of so much fun.

Side effects say it causes weight gain so now I don’t know if I want to take it. My other antipsychotic med caused me to gain 35lbs. I can’t handle to gain any more weight. What’s you experiencing with this?