I got into an argument last night that wasn't related to the original problem but this morning my husband said something that made me feel extremely insecure. I apologized for being a bad partner all these years with my mood swings, my manic episodes that destroyed my marriage. I told my partner I'm finally medicated I'm more level headed and aware of my emotions. And my spouse says "Great I have a wife who's medicated, I never wanted that" he says. "Nobody wants a partner like that" It made me feel self conscious and just made me stop arguing and just shut me down. I wish I didn't have this disorder too, it's difficult and frustrating to know this is a disorder that is out of my control that I can only manage by being able to take medication for the rest of my life because it really does help me function. I got it genetically, that is out of my control, and I wish my spouse wasnt so upset. Yet, I understand how he feels I know he is still upset about everything that happened in the past and that's something that is difficult to forgive. I feel like everyone says that mental health matters but when it comes to being Bipolar that is something that is just addressed differently in society because no one who has this doesn't see the disorder sometimes I feel like they only see the mistakes and bad decisions we make

Unbelievable. Idk who this person is, but she vacuumed under the couch. I guess I am her. It was wild I haven’t cleaned like that in years. I found 14 socks, even.

Hey friends,

I’ve been working on a little side project called Sentimo (it’s already on the App Store). Right now it’s pretty simple: you can log your moods, add a quick reflection, and then see a mood curve and a ratio chart of your emotions.

The next feature I’m building is State of Mind insights — short, gentle reflections based on your recent moods. Not therapy, not medical advice, just a way to make the data feel more human and supportive.

For example, instead of just showing you a line chart, it might say something like:

I’d love to get your thoughts before I go too far:

• Would you find this kind of insight helpful, or just fluff?
• What would make these reflections feel real and supportive (not generic or patronizing)?
• Anything you’d personally want to avoid in an app like this?

Thanks a ton 💙 I really want to make this feature something that actually helps, and your feedback would mean a lot.

Hace 3 años que me dieron de alta, había dejado ya de tomar medicación e asistir a terapia. En estos últimos años pasaron demasiadas cosas en mi vida, que obviamente crean desequilibrio en mi cabeza . A veces siento que nadie me comprende y quiero desaparecer 🫠 es horrible sentirse solo a pesar estar rodeado de gente , y este mundo de mierda que nos exige cada día más a estar bien . Ya volví con psiquiatra nuevo y hace 10 días con medicación de vuelta . Me puse más triste que no pude manejar mi cerebro y salir de estas , pero la verdad es que tuve que adminitirlo que ya no podía más 😓hoy tuve un día de mierda y solo quiero desaparecer

Dear Reader,

Can anyone please help me process this? I have been called crazy since I was 15 years old. My therapist said she believes I have Bipolar type 2 after months and months of seeing her. I am having a hard time believing this, and I sort of do believe it. I feel like I'm confused more than anything. I always had episodes daily for weeks, where I'd be tearful and cry for no real apparent reason.

As a child, I had two transplants as a child, and I wonder if that's what helped this come about. As I got older, like 20-21, I started having sleep disturbances where I'd be up in the middle of the night wide awake. Sometimes, I'd pull all-nighters, but I felt tired. My grandparents died at 21 and I started to become extremely depressed, but I went to therapy at my college. I'd started to have pressured speech around 22 years old and I would not stop walking outside for hours and hours. I felt like things were sped up. I'd start to experience this more and more where I felt like, "my blood was fizzing or I was on fire."

, Last year, I looked into getting help because of the episodes that I believed were solely just depression became more dysfunctional. I couldn't keep a job. I felt really depressed on and off.

An episode of racing thoughts came about when I was 23 years old. I actually got into trouble with another person for flipping them the bird while driving, and he followed me all the way to the police station. It was impulsive and road rage, but it was at a time when it felt out of character. I wasn't sleeping around this time because I was having thoughts so fast that every time I tried to lie to sleep, I couldn't. I had a hard time because I knew this couldn't be normal. I couldn't sleep, my thoughts were racing, and I was tearful for no apparent reason again.

I thought last year I had seasonal depression. It turns out, my therapist believes I am bipolar two, but it's presenting in a way that is not glaringly obvious. This June, I spent 14k in less than 3 weeks. When I said that, her eyes went wide because I told her before I did that, I couldn't sleep more than 4 hours for days before and even after, I felt nauseous the week after. My thoughts were fast again.

When she said that, for a while, she believed I had bipolar type 2, she said she suspected. There are more signs that I haven't mentioned, but when I think about it, all those times in the past, I would wake up in the middle of the night worried about an intruder coming into my house - I wonder if I was experiencing hypomania. I would sit on the top step and look down at the door, waiting.

I guess the thing that bothers me the most is why didn't anyone notice? Did the abuse from my father do this? Is it genetic, and if so, how? Will I be able to live a normal life?

I've recently been given 5mg of abilify (anti-psychotic) and 25mg of hydroxyzine for symptoms of Bipolar 2.

I'm already overweight and I hear abilify makes you gain a lot of weight, so I'm a little worried. I also hear it has a lot other really bad other symptoms, like an increase for diabetes and seizures.

What is everyone else's experience on these medications? I'm just starting off and I don't wanna make my mental illness worse. Anything helps :)

This is a long one so I’m not expecting yall too even read the whole thing or even respond.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder for having 1 major episode that was heavily influenced by smoking weed everyday and every hour. Around 3 years ago is when I had this episode and everything seemed fine before. I’ve always struggled with depression my whole life tried to commit a few times only seen a therapist when I was in elementary for accidentally saying that I wanted to kms in school and my fellow classmates heard. Seen a therapist from what I remember only once a week or something. But it ended very shortly. And I never saw a therapist until I graduated high school. Started going to college then I decided to see a therapist for my depression and anxiety then I dropped out during the first semester. Once I dropped out I was working more and smoking more. Before I would smoke occasionally but during college I started smoking more often and when I worked more it increased. To me I worked long hours at a fancy restaurant. 10am till 7-8pm sometimes 10pm. But I didn’t have a problem with working those long hours because I was a host during the day I would just sit in office and answer calls making reservations or just confirming them and at 4 is when I actually host I was the main host as well. I ended up wanting to be a server so I’d get off around 12pm. And it was stressful. (I was about to admit myself to a psych ward but chose not too bc of all the bad reviews I saw in my area). I made a lot of mistakes but my coworkers who’ve been in the server industry for like 10+ yrs reassured me that they all made those mistakes but then my manager decided that I couldn’t work as a server. He believed that starting off at a fancy restaurant as a beginner server was too much for me.

They transferred me over to another restaurant as a host and again I ended being the main host again at that restaurant. But I started smoking at the job they didn’t mind bc it was a pen but this affected me more bc this was a restaurant that everyone loved and I seemed to be making basic mistakes. One day I had a literally crashed I talked to my manager told her I couldn’t do it anymore and she understood. Called my dad to come pick me up and I was sitting on a bench outside by myself and everyone was just staring at me and before I saw a police men talking to the owner(in this place police do not come and just stop by they come by when they are called). While I was sitting there were EMS ppl keeping their eye on me and they were playing it off by talking to other customers. This made me even more paranoid. Keep in mind I’m a blk woman with tattoos and dreads in a very white area so in my mind I already look a certain way. Once my dad picked me up I was freaking out i was telling my dad to not speed don’t do anything crazy bc I feel like they were watching me. We passed by so many cop cars until we left the island(I worked on an island).

That night I decided I wanted a detox I wanted to get the weed out my system so bad. I tried falling asleep but then I started panicking felt like I was going to die and I called the ambulance and they picked me up and I was still being paranoid. Sent me home. Next day my parents brought me to the emergency room. We got there and we sat there for hours I was irritated and frustrated. Many hours went by and every time I would just go to the bathroom to try and calm down. But I noticed every time I went to the bathroom someone else who I thought was a patient would go right after me. Which I found very weird bc they wouldn’t go to the bathroom before. Me and my parents sat near older Haitians n they were just talking shi. They were saying oh look at that poor girl she’s not ok in the head. But to me i didn’t feel like I was disturbing everyone. Yes you could see I was irritated and annoyed but idk. They finally call me and they brought me to an isolated room. Not the room where they check how much you weigh or your blood pressure no. A dark isolated room with a divider that was up and they wanted my blood at first I denied they sent me back to the waiting area then I just gave in bc we couldn’t leave and they took my blood and I don’t remember what happened next ( I have a very bad memory and I think I was under psychosis or something)

The next morning I decided to mess everything up in the house. Made it seem like I was cleaning bc I felt like the police would try to do something funny. Bc after what happened in the ER I got my paranoid. But I didn’t get to fully clean my house bc my mom planned on sending me to the psych ward. I wasn’t aware of that. But I got there and they put my in a boxed room with a clear glass. Across from there are the staff just watching you. I was there for probably 2 hours. Usually I don’t mind being in the quietness(I’m an only child whose parents had trust issues so I was home alone majority of the time). But those 2 hours made me mad bc they were just watching me not talking just watching. (They told me before if everything went smooth I would go home).

Finally left the box they brought me were every other patient was at and I was like of that’s fine I believe I fell asleep and woke up and I was like ok when am I going home. And they wouldn’t tell me or let me leave so I snapped and I threw my shoe almost hitting a staff. Stomping around slamming everything then I went to my room fell asleep till the next day and decided to play nice to I can end up leaving and that’s what I did for the next 5 days(I’m very good at masking my feelings or playing the game) I got out and I wasn’t actually ready to come out. Got diagnosed with bipolar. Life hasn’t been the same since fear of having an episode like that stops me from having a job or even go to college. (I had a job but quite again bc of fear it was coming back and I went to beauty school to become a lash tech but idk it doesn’t feel that same).

The highs were not magic, they were not god. I (BP1, 30M) was just sick. It was not real, but it was ecstacy. There is no way I can describe to people how monumental it used to be. Now I have to spend the rest of my life pretending I have not tasted the apple.

Life will never be as magnificent while I am on meds. It can still be cool, dont get me wrong. But having spent years working in the corporate world with complete squares, watching friends come and go, family splitting into factions.

There are times I wish I could feel the electricity again.

Please help, I've been a mess over this because it's so upsetting.

I've been a mixed media art hobbyist for over ten years, and have invested a lot into this pasttime. Lots of paint, watercolour paper, fluid media for mixing, pouring, and finishing. I've begun the process of switching to digital and getting to the point I realise I need to donate a LOT of stuff to the local high school.

I'm making the switch because:

a) I recently downsized and have half to a third the space

b) it's messy work I no longer have a shop to make a mess in, it's all living space now

c) I live with visual impairment and progressive sight loss and feel like focusing on digital art still lets me play, explore, and work without having to spend time on cleanup

d) I realise it's still possible for me to use my paints etc but just not wanting to invest the necessary time into logistics, which for me are especially gnarly

e) I have already gotten experience doing digital artwork and enjoy it. I recently upgraded my iPad to help motivate me to make the switch.

I've done minimalism several times over the past decade, and I guess that's where some of my misgivings come from. I've fixed the spending habits that got me into the pickle I'm in now with way too much stuff, but still picking up the pieces.

Hi all. I take Vraylar 4.5mg one and a half month i noticed a little bit difference but recently (2 weeks before) i came off completely of Effexor and i think the only withdrawal symptoms i have are psychological or\and are from my mixed state i am right now for a long time especially with the shitty Effexor that messed up my stability over time. At first was nice to got me out of a depressive episode. My doctor and I we are not sure what is the cause and if i need more time off Effexor to realize if it is my partial untreated mixed state and that's the reason he put me on Depakote plus Vraylar. Currently 1500mg just three days now. I do not know if i feel better over time with this combo or i have to increase Vraylar to 6mg. Actually in my country came at 2022 and is called Reagila and he does not know enough for this med for monotherapy. It sucks. Anyway is there anyone out there with difficult bipolar episode and type who successfully being treated well with only Vraylar? And what dose?

Tell me about it

TL;DR: I stopped taking duloxetine last week initially by accident but felt better ever since, but may be hypomania.

Despite all the medication I take which includes mood stabilizers and antipsychotics as well, I still spend most of my days in a depressive state with occasional euthymic and hypomanic states that last a few weeks. I generally become more functional and confident in myself, but can sometimes still be emotional whether it's through being too easily excited, irritable, or somewhat impulsive.

However, since last week, I've stopped taking my antidepressants (Duloxetine), initially by accident because I've had it mixed up with an unrelated blood pressure medication while having some brain fog, but I noticed I've been feeling better ever since quitting it, though it does seem like hypomania because of how I've been sleeping less.

I've always wanted to taper off some of my medication as the cost is getting somewhat unbearable and I still haven't found a long enough stable phase in my life to be independent. My psychiatrist would keep rejecting it and continue to prescribe me the same medication at the same dosage as she claims it's to "observe any gradual changes". I've already considered changing my psychiatrist because of this and I'm still looking.

Even then, would I really be better off without antidepressants? There are some articles, studies, and books I've seen that claim that too much of it causes mood instability and mania for those with bipolar, but my doctor said if I quit it, it could worsen my depression even though it has done the opposite right now.

It's been several years since I've had this feeling.. I'm bipolar depressive. Im on the correct regimen of medicine that has been great for me and has kept me stabilized. I'm a 40 year old male. Can a drop in temperature with the weather be the cause? I'm in the triad of NC and it has been brutally hot all summer and now the temp has been in the upper 50s in the morning.

I know it's not seasonal depression because I've been through different seasons in several years and haven't felt mood swings like I have been yesterday and today. I mean this cold front came suddenly though. I think my sleeping hours changing also play a role because I've been up late being off work for the 3rd day now, I go back tomorrow. I work part time. I'm also on Ssdi and my benefits are continuing I just found out today after a yearly review so I'm happy because of that but still feel depressive swings. I wear my CPAP mask religiously too so I get decent sleep. I'm just in a funk right now and hoping it doesn't get worse.

I'm using coping mechanisms that I learned in the psyche wards a few years ago when I was there for suicidal thoughts. Like working on music. I'm not at that point though no suicidal thoughts now. I'm probably gonna watch one of my favorite child hood movies Angels in the outfield on my DVR soon. By the way I'm prescribed zoloft100 mg 11/2 tabs daily and abilify as well once daily which is probably a higher dose prescribed for Zoloft but they have helped me before. A lot of the other mood stabilizers made my body really over heat when I was trying them in the psyche wards so had to stop them when I was there.

I am 19 F Bipolar 1 with psychotic features and catatonic like states

I was diagnosed in june a few days after my birthday. I told my dad and the first thing he said to me was 'theres nothing wrong with you, you know how much money it would cost if you had bipolar?'. He told me not to do any meds, he told me I need to go through years of therapy etc. for someone to be able to diagnose me. I've had to pay pretty much out of pocket for my sessions with my psychiatrist (by now ive had 5) because my insurance just wouldnt offer any coverage unless i reached my deductible, which is hard because I only had $3000 saved.

I spend a shit ton during my episodes. I was able to save $3000 from my minimum wage job in just a couple months before my symptoms were noticeable. It is all gone now. college classes have begun again and genuinely I just cannot work during the week. But I also know i'll be throws off kilter if I work 7 hours saturday and sunday. I just got paid which it was less than I would usually get because id been rapid cycling pretty much since my diagnosis (im fine now) and more than half of my paycheck had to go to a parking permit that was $223 so that I could actually park and go to the school my parents are paying 10's of thousands of dollars for.

I am unmedicated, I am not allowed to go on meds and I dont feel like I would be able to take them in a safe way unless I had some supervision. That would be my parents but my dad already told me he doesnt believe in my diagnosis, he calls me stupid for considering meds etc. and my mom is just plain crazy so..I cannot afford anymore meeting with my psychiatrist but i am using the counseling program at my school.

Last week we found out I had some form of catatonia along with my diagnosis. It was right after I got off a call with my psych. I had 30 minutes until I had to be on the bus to go to work, and I simply could not move..unless to write my thoughts down. I was having rapid thoughts, my speech was overly symbolic, I was speaking like I was hallucinating and having delusions..which i wasnt but sometimes I convinced myself I was. I even texted the whole family group chat. I was like that for about 3 or 3 and a half hours.

The next morning my mom (because she's crazy) said the resin necklace I was wearing was cursed by the devil..

im sorry what?

I dont have access to resources regarding money because my parents make $250k, they have a strict budget (f you dave ramsey) and absolutely WILL NOT help me pay for anything. I need to work more, but i absolutely cannot. it makes me worried for my future since before I only worked 18 hours a week and even that would send me off at times.

Hello,

I was wondering how it feels like when the meds are working and you have been considered stable for months or years. My psychiatrist told me you can be considered stable after 5 years. Can you completely avoid all episodes?

Is it even achievable?

Thank you!

I’ve seen so many instances of people saying things like ‘ her life was so hard, but she never gave in to mental illness’. I saw a doctor post something about someone she knows. Which I understand if you say something like ‘he smiled through everything,’ but no it has to be something which belittles those who struggle. I’ve seen so many people say things which basically translate to - if you have a mental illness you’re weak. Do they not realise how resilient and patient we have to be, diagnosed with a lifelong condition. I’ve lost friends over the word ‘bipolar’. I’ve lost a person who talked so much about uplifting those with mental health issues (she had a whole social media page on it), but the moment she found out her friend of 13 years had it (never experienced major symptoms with her so it’s not like I hurt her), nope, her words were just words. Anyways I’ve decided that it’s better if I tell people from the get go. Prospective partners etc, I’ll just tell them when I meet them. Then if they decide they can’t do it I won’t mind as much. Part of me wishes to only date those who get it, but I feel like it’d be chaotic dating someone else with it so idk, I’ll just forget about it for now. There was this guy who asked me out on a date, I told him I’d let him know, but I’m still unsure. Summer is over and university is starting for me. I’m kind of excited, because there’s this english (lit) class I can finally take, and I’m really looking forward to it.

Side effects say it causes weight gain so now I don’t know if I want to take it. My other antipsychotic med caused me to gain 35lbs. I can’t handle to gain any more weight. What’s you experiencing with this?

First of all, I think i need to preference this by saying no one sexually abused me as a kid. By the time i was in third grade I was already thinking about sex. By 4th grade, i was addicted to porn and masturbating in between classes. I was so excited to get my period, why? Because I thought you couldn’t have sex until it came! I spent my whole highschool career having sex with older guys. Then a few years ago I found out I was bipolar. Can anyone help me understand why it manifested this way?

I am currently taking 30mg Olanzapine, I used to be very athletic, I trained in the morning and I was very active during the day. Since being on Olanzapine I gained 110lbs and I decided since dieting is not effective, I would become active like I used to be. (I stopped all trainings since being on medication for my bipolar, it made me a complete lazy slob with no energy)

I tried training like I used to, slowly reaching my goal, my body is completely overheating and can't cool down, now I am going to have to train fewer than I did before and it makes me mad since I was happy to have found the will to exercise again.

I hydrate myself well, I eat enough, it isn't a lack of education on sport nutrition's problem. My body can't cool down if I do more than 1 hour a day. I am especially mad since I love biking and I love doing those long hours contemplating the landscape.

I am starting martial art soon, I don't know I guess I just need to vent. Not only did Olanzapine made me a lazy slob at first, now that I am trying to train and bike like I used to (and yes I slowly upped the distance and duration, I didn't go all crazy in the beginning) I can't because my body is overheating for hours after training. I am mad. I just want to enjoy one thing in this life.

My whole life is a manic depression episode at the moment. I'm intensely angry then intensely depressed. Then happy, then balling my eyes out... currently trying to focus on the sound of crickets outside which is slightly comforting but also reminds me of my girlfriend that just left

Every September I swear my depression just spirals— does anyone have any recommendations for not going too far down? I can already feel it coming after an entire summer of so much fun.

I’m considering if I should appeal my NS exemption

For context, I’m 23 years and I’m exempted from NS due to psychiatric medical condition of bpd & manic depression but I didn’t had any serious relapses or any history of admittance to IMH(As my mum made sure I didn’t due to the hostile & unstable environment of general ward)

Few years back I received a green letter from Mindef indicating not needing to serve NS - I was contented at first without knowing the repercussions (I was 20 back then) However now, regrettably I’m experiencing job transition crisis due to difficulty finding a job as some HRs either doesn’t follow up or gaslight my assurance after they question my NS completion status. Not to also mention the stigma and being a social outcast as I have little in common with my friends who have completed NS hence of my smaller social circle now

For further context, in the past I was a poly dropout due to course incompatibility and poor mental health issues as I was unable to be adjustable to adapt despite after semester deferment that time

Fast forward to the present now I’m currently in the midst of pursuing my part time business diploma under Kaplan whilst searching for a full time job as I’d need a job to pay my study loans. Left my previous telemarketing sales job due to unable to achieve sales kpi for probation.

I’ve heard the possibility of people with similar health status/condition serving NS but of lower Pes E status(Storemen/Admin clerk duties) and that mindef are able to accommodate and permit part-time diploma studies alongside (though not sure if it’s feasible)

I had over 2 years in retail and 2.5 years of hospitality hotel working experiences but it was mostly part-time and traineeship basis. I’ve given some thought that maybe working under the hotel line is compatible for me but though I have interest to work in the area of corporate/marketing operations hence the decision to take a business diploma instead of hospitality.

Back to my concern, I’m worried of the potential consequences or other implications such as employability and social stigma/discrimination and furthermore I don’t know if I could ever live with a stain on my record being exempted and the ridicule of my manhood not serving NS

I’ve read previous other Reddit post regarding NS exemptions, though some includes ‘assuring’ comments of ‘Oh you should regard yourself lucky’, ‘most guys would envy you for you for being exempted, be glad’ I’m not sure if I should perceive as helpful or assuring but I would need realistic advices and perspectives/second opinions on the potential implications and the cons of getting exempted from NS.

Any form of response or helpful advice would be appreciated, thank you🙏🏻

I’m very sensitive to the change in seasons.

In the spring/summer, I go manic.

In the fall/winter, I get depressed.

Every.damn.year.

I have spent the past two days rotting in bed all day!!

In my area, we had an extremely hot and dry summer with 100+ degrees and sun with no rain for like 3 months.

Then, this week we have suddenly dropped temperatures and it’s cloudy and rainy. So the fact that it’s getting darker earlier is more noticeable because of the clouds.

I have a SAD lamp, but I don’t think it’s very effective.

The weird thing is, I absolutely LOVE fall!! The crisp, cool air. But no snow yet. I hate snow.

I just opened all my blinds and turned on all my lights to brighten things up. Any suggestions?