My GF (36) has Bipolar 2 - medication inconsistencies.

What does it look like to you all and when should I be terrified? I’m unsure if the unforeseen/sparked arguments are real or just an outburst.

Thank you!

I (f/24) and my boyfriend (m/22) have been dating for about two years. When we met he was opened about how he was bipolar and adhd and that he takes medication, has gone to therapy, tries to manage it, and has a support system. I didn’t know much about bipolar but it seemed like things were managed. It’s been really up and down since because of his disorder. He’s been in multiple episodes since our start of our relationship, manic and depressive, and they’re incredibly hard. Some were because of not taking meds. He will go pretty mute with me via text since we are long distance right now, but in person when we were together he’ll do the same. Or he’ll be snappy, irritable, etc. I try to have patience but I feel like my emotions and hard days are shadowed over due to his disorder. I feel like I have to be constantly emotionally stable and okay dating someone with bipolar because they’re inconsistent and unpredictable. We’ve had conversations and I ask if he’s taking his meds and we have clear honest discussions about it which is good. It’s gotten to a point though where I feel completely drained, overshadowed, and lonely. No one tells you how lonely and not secure it can feel dating someone with bipolar. You never know if they’ll be in an episode or if you’ll wake up and they will be harsh towards you or unwell. I have anxiety and depression but they’re manageable and I take meds for it. I’m a decently stable person but I feel pressure to always be okay because my partner is unpredictable. I’m wondering if there’s any other person in my position, how you manage it or just any other words of wisdom or advice.

I did already break up with her technically, but I’m gonna explain the sequence of events so this makes more sense ——— So my (18F) ex girlfriend (17F) (as of yesterday) has bipolar disorder, she’s had some moments in the short time we’ve been together that made her distance herself from me(around two weeks officially, but we were talking for around a month before that) but nothing that wasn’t manageable. But three days ago she left town to go spend the rest of summer with her mom, and she started getting more distant than ever. She used to ft me so much I was almost sick of it, but when she left she barely talked to me for the first two days. I didn’t think much of it because she was with her family, and revisiting the house she grew up in. I know it was probably a lot for her, because her younger brother had passed a few years ago. But then I noticed that I couldn’t see her story anymore on instagram, and that her highlights weren’t up. She also but a weird song in her notes, I don’t remember the name but it was basically about a relationship not working out after you’ve already told people about it. I started freaking internally out for a bit, but I reminded myself that she changes her profile around pretty often, and that this was a new song by an artist she likes so maybe it wasn’t anything serious. We called for a little while that night so my worries were eased for a lil bit. ———

The next day, noticed she blocked me on both of my spam accounts (one of which I didn’t even think she knew about, because I haven’t used it in a year). I texted her to ask about it, then asked my friend if she could follow her and view her story (her account is private). Immediately she accepts the follow request, meanwhile I’m still left on delivered. On top of that, her highlight of me was gone. Mind you, she didn’t even have anything incriminating on her story, so I don’t know why she did that. ——-

Regardless, I lost my shit in record time, cuz hell I got issues too. I told her she had 15 minutes to respond, and she didn’t, so I posted on my story basically saying I’m single and anybody can hit me up. Since she wasn’t even gonna break up with me properly, I let her find out with everybody else. I told her she can block me on my main page like she did everything else, she read the message and didn’t do it. I asked a mutual friend who was close to her, and had access to her account, to do it for her (to be petty, admittedly. I really just wanted to force her to talk to me) and she sent me a screenshot of her being logged out of the account, and told me they hadn’t really been speaking since she left. That’s when I started to wonder if this was about a bigger issue that I wasn’t seeing, and if I overreacted. ——-

I’m not saying I want to get back with her, because I just know it wouldn’t be the same after this and we’d never trust eachother again, but I still care about her as a person and I want to talk this through with her if she really is struggling with something more serious. Leading up to her leaving, she was really affectionate. She gave me two rings, comforted me when I was visibly distressed, she always asked follow up questions if I said something that insinuated I wasn’t feeling ok, and she listened to me when I voiced my concerns most of the time, so this avoidant behavior feels like it came out of nowhere. She made me meet both her parents, she bragged about me to her brother…and now this? It just doesn’t make any sense.

I guess what I’m asking is, what should I do moving forward? Should I wait for her to come to me, if she ever does. Should I wait a few days, should I just let it go? My bar for a good relationship is in hell but this felt pretty good up until a few days ago, so part of me thinks I shouldn’t let it go this easily.

Note: this isn’t AI, I was trying to break the post up into clear parts but it doesn’t look the same as i originally formatted it.

Also, MODs asked me to clarify if she’s medicated; she isn’t.

So I've posted in this sub a few times about my international situation and how my spouse discarded me during an international move.

Long story short she's from Chile, I'm a US and Irish citizen. Due to immigration related reasons we decided to move from the US to Europe, I offered to move to Chile but she claimed I never wanted to move there(I have screenshots saying otherwise). Anyway I had to go to Ireland ahead of time in order to sort out the immigration process while I had her go to Chile to get her driver's license. A month after the moving process started she falsely accused me of cheating on her 3 times and said that she was still in love with her ex who she dated for 2 months and he broke up with her because he wanted to just fool around with several women and my wife was only one of many women he had. That ex is now with someone he's been with for a few years. She claimed he was her soul mate and they were together. She even sent a message to him but he never responded.

Anyway so during our relationship, she had told me about this ex boyfriend, and as far as I knew she only ever had one boyfriend before me and that he ended the relationship. However I've spoken with her sister a good amount and she told me that my wife had another relationship before said ex(whom she claimed was her soul mate) and apparently she ended the relationship because his behaviour suddenly changed. She had never told me about this ex boyfriend of hers once in the 7 years of relationship/marriage.

I found this out a few weeks ago and it felt like a weight was lifted off of me. I spent months wondering if I could ever trust her again and that basically cemented the fact that I can't trust her. For the record, I met her when I was 21 and she was 24. She had her first boyfriend at the age of 17/18 and the second one at the age of 20. I wouldn't have judged her for having dated 2 people before me as that seems normal. However the fact that she hid it from me for years just seems suspicious, like I've reached the point where I'm asking myself has she had any other partners that she never told me/her family about? I don't think I can trust her to not cheat on me. I'm not accusing her of doing so However it's in the realm of possibilities.

It took me a long time to realise that she was manipulative with me and is pretty narcissistic. I won't go into much detail but there was a point where she had me against my own family and I even defended her when it was very hard to defend her. For example she was getting good money to take care of goats for 2 weeks a few years ago and three of them died, to add insult to injury she said that she had checked them all every morning when one of them was CLEARLY there for days(hair all off it, gone white and covered in maggots eating the decomposed body) she claimed she had checked them that morning and they were fine. She never saw the corpses but I did and I still defended her(I feel like an idiot for doing so) and despite me describing what it looked like she still never apologised.

There were several things she lied about throughout the relationship which were small but not huge to say(like saying she had travelled to certain places when she actually hadn't) however this was the first ever serious relationship I had ever gotten into with anyone. I had female friends before but things never advanced beyond friendship as I was afraid of getting hurt in a relationship(I took that risk and felt like I got hit by a freight train now)

On her side right now, her sister told me that the psychiatrist has been pretty useless however my wife isn't like she was before. I'll add that other than the lying we did have a good relationship and got on well. They will be going to a doctor who specialises in Bipolar disorder in September so hopefully she'll get a diagnosis and even my wife agreed to go to one. She made a bunch of claims about me saying I didn't love her and that I didn't bring her to the doctor for certain things/didn't have her on my insurance when I have documented evidence that I did bring her to the doctor/had her on my insurance. She also still believes I cheated on her and my whole family knows(I never did and my family thinks she's crazy now)
She may come out of this episode and I don't know what she will say once she becomes medicated but to her she doesn't want to come back to me but her sister thinks it isn't true.
Based on all the information I've recently become aware of and the lying I've decided I'll be ending the marriage. I have to wait due to the laws here in Ireland but unless there's she takes accountability for her actions and apologises, even for what happened when she was taking care of those goats I won't let her back into my life as otherwise it'd be dangerous for her to be back in my life.

It's been an overall bad experience for me however I've learned a lot and I feel like I've grown as a person. I'm working and earning an income, bought a car with cash and now I'm saving up towards a down-payment on a property. I'm also going to start doing travel more with a trip to Scotland and the Isle of Man in October and I'll be in Philadelphia in December(partly for some things related to maintaining my US CDL if I ever decide to move back one day it'd be nice to easily get work) but I'm also going to check out the city as I've only ever passed through it on the way from DC or once coming from Pittsburgh to NYC by train.

I'm taking things pretty easy now but I feel more optimistic about the future. Admittedly I feel some guilt as I don't know how my wife will feel coming out of this, she might have a lot of regret and guilt but we'll see what happens.

I feel like I'm generally doing better as I've received some closure and I'm hoping things work out for everyone else here as well

Anyone else ever have that happen? I guess I didn't realize how traumatized I am from living beside this disorder for 10+ years.

It was weird. For the last month, I kept feeling very on edge and anxious. My back kept hurting, I kept having stomach aches and stomach pain. I thought it was PMS, then I thought I caught a stomach bug, then when it still didn't go away, I thought maybe I was just developing IBS or gallbladder problems. I even had a blood vessel burst in my eye. I was planning to call my doctor a few days ago to get checked out because it had been about a month and either it was a real problem or my anxiety flaring up. And I couldn't figure out why - I had no problems at work, life seemed fine!

And then on Sunday night, my husband got really obviously manic: couldn't sleep, couldn't sit still, confused, not making sense. His mom came over because I was feeling worried and that's when he admitted he'd been off his meds for at least a month because he never followed up with a psychiatrist for a refill like his doctor told him he needed to (and never told me about this so I could help him either).

And that's when I realized. I truly don't know how it took me so long. And I spent the whole night still having terrible sleep, wrecked with stomach pain again, until I took him to the ER the next morning and we got an emergency refill of medication to get him through until he could see a psychiatrist.

And he took the pill and he slept for hours and then: all my stomach pain was gone. My back stopped feeling tense. All the anxiety was gone. I had an appetite again. He woke up and the manic eyes were gone, he was back to my person.

And thinking back now, I can see the signs. That he was staying up later and later at night to work out, doing longer workouts, not talking to me or hanging out as much, having angry sounding monologues in the bathroom to himself, etc.

Things I feel I should have noticed after a decade of experience with bipolar disorder. But man, I guess it's one of those things my brain was denying while my body was subconsciously picking up on and shooting out massive red flags for danger danger danger.

Anyway, I've got therapy tomorrow to unpack this realization. What a lesson to learn. Living with a bipolar person is really unbearably hard sometimes. It's been so long that I honestly thought I had a solid handle on dealing with it, but turns out I'm kinda traumatized and next time I know to listen to what my body is saying and not just my brain.

It's been 2 months since I (34M) broke up with my ex (BP2,28F), and 1 month without contact. After taking a lot of time to think and reflect, my conviction remains strong to be with her, even though I am aware of the risks ahead and what might happen to myself. I've always held back from contacting her because currently, there is no open communication access, and all media have been blocked by her. But every day, I feel more and more the urge to reach out to her. Is there anything I can do or perhaps some words that could make her open up to me without offending her? I need advice on what I should do. Should I continue to wait for her to contact me, or should I be the one to reach out to her first? Because, as far as I know, even though I don’t know what episode she’s going through, the guilt and shame she feels will likely be the barrier preventing her from contacting me again, and I want to help alleviate that feeling by reaching out to her first. Are there any words that might help open the communication again?

Hi everyone. I'm 2 months out of a rough discard but recently found out some horrifying things that my ex lied about and hid from me during the relationship. Until that point, I had been very careful about walking on eggshells and took the abuse, blame and cruelty consistently without fighting back. But I ended up feeling so betrayed that I sent a message laying out everything I knew and said he needs to get help. To no response, of course. I'm feeling pretty guilty, knowing that has probably put the final nail in the coffin for any possible reconciliation down the road. I feel insane for even wanting reconciliation at all. But my question is, have any of you just lost it and finally stood up for yourselves? What was the reaction?

My wife received a provisional bipolar diagnosis (I thought it was solid, but she’s since told me it’s not because “you cause me so much stress”) about a month ago and has been on sodium valproate and seroquel for just four weeks. She had a psychotic episode about 1.5 years ago, where I was the target of her delusions — she believed I had people surveilling her, that I was trying to poison/kill her, and she became intensely religious with religious delusions. It was terrifying but eventually stabilised. She seems to have been rapidly cycling for the past six months, and it came to a head about 6 weeks ago. She’s been medicated for 4 weeks but things between us have not improved at all. She told me three days ago that she has “dark thoughts” about me — that I’m trying to kill her, that I’ve got her under surveillance, that there are hidden cameras in the house. I didn’t know she was experiencing this until she said it, but it explains her recent hostility and coldness toward me. I assume the thoughts are not constant, as she seems to understand that she “targets” me, but I think the feelings from those thoughts are driving all her actions and behaviours, even if she does have some capacity to recognise they are not true sometimes.

She tells me she’s scared of me, yet at other times she seeks intimacy. I honestly don’t know “who” I’m speaking to at any moment — the shifts are so confusing.

She just sent me a long email saying she wants us to live separately, split finances, have no contact with me, etc. But in the very same sentence she says this isn’t abandonment, she doesn’t want divorce, and she still wants us to work. I don’t know how to reconcile those contradictions.

To everyone else — her psychologist, psychiatrist, friends, family — she looks like she’s doing so much better. Calm, functioning, masking well. But with me, every attempt to help or support her, or even have a conversation is seen as manipulative, controlling, selfish, or proof that I’m the problem. I’ve been completely excluded from her care, so I don’t even know if she’s on the right dosage.

She has decided that I am the “problem” that must be removed from her life and then things will be better. She’s even got family and friends believing this.

Any emotion I show — sadness, hurt, frustration — gets twisted and triggers cruel responses. I feel like no matter what I do, it becomes further evidence against me. Everyone in my life tells me to leave, but I can’t bring myself to walk away while she’s in crisis. And yet she keeps saying she wants me to go.

I’m exhausted, heartbroken, and honestly don’t know what’s true or real anymore.

For those who’ve been through this: How did you cope with being the target of persecutory delusions? How do you keep your own sanity when the person you love insists you’re dangerous or evil? Has anyone managed to get vital information to doctors safely, without it blowing up the relationship further?

Any insight or shared experience would mean a lot.

I’m not sure what I’m exactly hoping for by positing this, maybe others have similar experiences or have advice. I think I just need to vent and process maybe.

My (25f) now ex boyfriend (25m) ended our relationship very out of the blue about 4 days ago. For context he is diagnosed with bipolar 2 and has been medicated and in therapy for about 8 months. He was very upfront about his diagnosis when we first met and we had several conversations about his treatment and things like that. He seemed really stable and on top of things at that time.

We first met/went on our first date a little over 3 months ago and things progressed really really quickly. I now realize it was some form of love bombing although I don’t think it was done intentionally or to manipulate me but he was genuinely extremely excited at the beginning of our relationship. He asked me to be his gf about a week after the first date. We spent a lot of time together. He said I love you about 2 weeks in and by a month we were talking about marriage and plans for living together (for context, we were talking about doing these things in like a year-2/3 years out, not immediately) I know that might sound really crazy and like super obvious reg flags but I genuinely have never felt a connection with someone like I did with him. I really truly believed I had met my soulmate, everything felt like it was falling into place and I have never felt more seen or understood by anyone in my life. After about 1.5 months of our relationship I could start to feel him pull back from me a bit. Not a ton, we still spent time together and had really good days but he just felt a bit distant sometimes. He was super busy at this time so I just took it as he’s distracted or whatever and didn’t read into it too much. But slowly over the last month he’s gotten more and more distant and I could tell something was maybe wrong but I didn’t want to come across crazy. This past week he was still telling me he loves me, using pet names, making plans and things. Then 4 days ago I don’t hear from him all day which has never happened before. He sent a text late that night that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore and sent some bullshit reasons about us wanting different things (those “reasons” we had previously discussed many times and had plenty of open dialogue about which is why I say they were bs.) He did take ownership that he was a coward for sending a text and that it’s all his fault. But he immediately blocked me on all social media. I did respond to his text which I believe he did receive. I don’t know for sure but I imagine he’s now blocked my phone number as well once he got that final text from me. I’ve never been abusive in any way or done anything crazy so him ending things with a text and immediately blocking me make me think he just never cared about me and couldn’t wait to get rid of me. He never tried to talk to me about the supposed issues he mentioned in his breakup text.

This is so completely out of the blue for me and I’m so devastated I have no idea what to do. This is the person I thought was the one. We were going to spend the rest of our lives together. I didn’t even consider bipolar was playing a role because he seemed so stable the whole time we were together but after reading through a lot of this Reddit page and several others it seems that this type of breakup is common with people with bipolar.

Now I’m left thinking that either when we met he was hypomanic and that fueled the intense start to our relationship. And now he’s either back to baseline and realized he doesn’t actually like me at all… or he’s depressed and that’s played a role?

Or he was baseline when we met and it was all real and now he’s hypomanic? Idk I’m just trying to process this all. It’s the worst heartbreak I’ve ever experienced. He made me feel so loved and appreciated and then just threw me out of his life like trash with no warning. And didn’t even give me a chance to talk through it or get closure at all. How do people move on from this?

I want to text him again but I know that’s a bad idea if he is having an episode rn he won’t care at all. But I just can’t understand how he could express the kind of love he did to me and then just turn around and rip it away like it was nothing.

Anyways, if you’ve read this far, thank you. Like I said not sure what I’m looking for from this other than venting to other people who might understand. I’m so broken :(

Hi everyone. I'll start with my questions. I've left my story as a comment so that you don't have to read something upsetting if you don't want to. I'm really just after pointers! Thanks:

What are some strategies I might use to encourage my wife to understand and acknowledge what happened during her last psychosis?

What is a sign that she might be ready to hear about what actually happened, and cross check it with others? Which settings might be the gentlest on her? If she acknowledges what happened, I feel she'd be more likely to prioritise treatment even when things seem smooth again.

Another question: if my wife becomes unwell again, how might I minimise the damage of her mum intervening in a damaging way?

Why did this particular relationship have such a strong hold on me? I assume it’s because of a trauma bond? I’m trying to move on, but no one is as exciting as him. I crave chaos? Oh god. I read that sometimes you’ll obsess over people who have the traits that your “shadow” represses. I’m the good girl perfectionist type. I think I was drawn to his rawness. His vulnerability. His chaos. He puts himself first. He is selfish. He indulges in vices. All the things I don’t let myself do. I think if I confront that repressed part of myself, he won’t be as exciting to me, anymore. I hope.

Has anyone seen this? Reminds me some of my bpso. Moving forward big adventure, cold, distant, seeing partner negatively then sweet and loving. Like nothing happened. Back to committed to the marriage. Is she supposed to be bipolar or is it just too close to home for me?

I've done this to myself. My half-brother (different dads), who is 10 years younger than me, got in touch with me via Instagram 3 years ago. He said to call him and that it was important. I've been out of touch with the family, more or less, for the past 15 years for some extremely good reasons - but that's a whole other post! So I called, and he was upset about a variety of things. I haven't talked to him in years. He was living with his on and off girlfriend at the time and was having all kinds of issues - supposedly. He made various wild claims, but looking back and knowing my family it's hard to parse out what was true. I didn't realize he was in a manic episode. I felt bad for him and invited him to come out and live with us, 1500 miles away. He INSTANTLY said yes. I okayed it with my husband, and a week later he was here. One of the stipulations was that he see a therapist. He agreed. I fixed up the attic and bought a mini fridge, microwave, blender, etc so he could be somewhat independent within the house.

I should point out here that he had been committed to a mental institution about 23 years ago when he was in college. He was picked up walking around campus naked, spent 2 weeks in the institution, and was diagnosed bipolar. Since then, he has mainly lived at home and worked off and on, never seeming to be able to keep a job together. For some reason my parents didn't make him take meds, so...

Let me say here that our family is completely dysfunctional. I left at 17, moved to NYC for a while, put myself through college, and have a great husband of 25 years and 2 awesome daughters. They are all amazed at how normal and levelheaded I am, lol. By all rights I should be a junkie living at Port Authority. Or dead. I took the brunt of a lot of the dysfunction due to being the oldest and a stepchild to one parent. They were physically and emotionally abusive to me but never got physical with my 3 brothers from what I know.

On the ride from the airport, which is a couple hours away, he told me wild stories. He said one of our other brothers and his wife were cooking meth and he thought they were trying to get him addicted by lacing his weed with it. He had no basis for this as far as I know, but this other brother is a total loser so who knows. Then he said this brother had him committed once again because he didn't want to be "told on" for the meth that may or may not exist. The reality turned out to be that this brother was just the one that delivered him to the institution. He had become threatening and violent with our mother out of the blue. He also said our third brother, also a loser living at home with our parents, kicked him out of the house. (Didn't happen at all - they woke up one day and he was gone) He said his dad, my stepdad, gave him a car so he could get to work but refused to give him the title (turns out he repeatedly tried to get the title to him). He also mentioned how he used to snowboard. He grew up and lived in Alabama, so NOPE. He said our mom tried to touch his genitals when she thought he was asleep. He said my mom stood up in church and accused me of being a witch to the congregation, lol. Then he told me how a bartender looked at his credit card, with his last name being Stark, gave him a crazy look and said "like Ironman? Are you related?" (not in a funny way, in a serious way) My brother, age 49, is extremely into superheroes.

He moves in and I make a schedule for cleaning the bathroom with little check boxes. He agrees to it. He thinks I'm going to cook and wash his clothes for him, because that's what mom did. I remind him of the setup he agreed to before coming out. He walks around punching the air then doing prayer hands - like ALL THE TIME. He uses my daughter' expensive hair products they buy for themselves. Then turns out he's using one of their toothbrushes. He makes massive messes in the bathroom. He checks his cleaning list off but does none of it. I talk to him. Sure sure! he says but continues to do nothing. He takes the Chapstick I just bought for myself and says he thought I got it for him. He takes one of my kids' special blanket OUT OF HER BEDROOM for his own use, despite having 3 blankets folded up at the end of his bed. He walks into my teenage daughter's bedroom without knocking. I tell him to stop. He doesn't. He starts telling the older one (21 and just living there temporarily) inappropriate sex stuff. This is the first 2 weeks.

After 6 months, I buy an older fifth wheel in good shape and move him into it because he's driving us all crazy. I help him move in and realize he's never washed his brand-new sheets I bought him. They are now torn from the dirt grinding into them and I throw them out and give him some old sheets of mine. The whole attic stinks of dirty hair and rotten food. There's bags and bags of trash he never took out. I later found out a raccoon had taken up residence without him even noticing. It's only 350 square feet up there.

He got a job at Walmart right after he moved here. He works as a stocker. I had to help him fill out some pre-employment questionnaire and it was nuts how he wanted to answer the questions, but I fixed it for him and explained why his answers weren't great. He became a "coach", which is kind of like a department supervisor, last year. A few months ago he went to management training for 2 weeks. Great!!! But last month he had an altercation at work after someone threw keys at him. It was on video. He started out telling me "Don't worry, I didn't lose my bonus" then 2 sentences later "I lost my bonus and got demoted back to stocker" He seemed proud that he also laid into this guy in front of the manager during the meeting regarding the incident. Defeat snatched from the jaws of victory.

Meanwhile, he smokes weed all day every day. Even at work when on break. He went to a psychiatrist twice, never told him about his previous diagnosis, and got put on some kind of meds he took for a couple of weeks. He hooked up with some local 26-year-old girl known for her drug use and that's when he started doing coke. I know this because we live in a very small town. But he's telling me that she's a cokehead and he's trying to get her to quit. They break up and eventually have a violent altercation in front of a bar. He continues to snort coke. Then I hear he's also way into shrooms. I don't think the drugs are a good idea for a guy like him.

Around this time, he starts going ghost hunting with some folks that have a YouTube channel. He meets some guy through this, a former model (all his SO's are former models lol), and they hook up one night. He says "Oh, I didn't tell you I was bi? Yeah, in Alabama I went to orgies, swingers' clubs, threesomes all the time" I mean, wouldn't you remember telling this to your sister?!! But I don't even know if it's true. He seems to be a compulsive liar and it's too much to mention it all. I don't know if this former model even exists.

A week into their relationship, they break up. Instantly he starts dating a trans woman. He met her at a bar and started talking to her when he noticed she was wearing "satanist clothes". He says he's a satanist, btw. He was a Buddhist when he arrived here but knows zero about Buddhism. I took a whole class on it in college, lol. He now has satanist jewelry and lots of satanist tattoos. This is just the past year with the satan thing.

A couple days after meeting this woman he gets into a head on collision on a stretch of highway that's straight as can be. Everyone walked away unharmed, thankfully. He said he saw the car coming a long way off but something about his "photographic memory and that's why he processes things faster than most people" and that's why he didn't avoid the wreck (??!!). After looking at the photos, it's kind of more of a side swipe than a full head on. He said his Kung Fu training and surfing experience are the reason he somewhat got out of the way in the final moments. I'm pretty sure he's never surfed. They don't exactly have bitchin' waves on the Alabama coast, and I've never seen surfboards at the family house. I lived in Hawaii and surfed a lot so maybe that's where this is coming from? I also am a snowboarder, so maybe that's where he got the idea that he was as well.

So after the incident at Walmart he was already exhibiting signs of mania, and this wreck a week later spun him out completely. He thinks he survived because he's a real Superman. Like he really thinks he has superpowers. He's also in love with this new girlfriend and keeps posting about it on Facebook. They break up a few days later, because SHE had too many red flags. He also posted that this was his 3rd head on collision. He never mentioned this to me, so doubtful. And every time I talk to him, he talks about the wreck. He says he's going to sue the woman (drunk driver) and get a million dollars and buy a house. He didn't even go to the hospital. He will not stop talking about his superpowers. And how incredibly young he looks. He's in shape but looks every one of his years. Granted he was never really in the sun because all he did was play video games.

Yesterday, now 2 weeks after the wreck, he texts me that he has found "the one" and that she's a former model...and FAMOUS! It's this former MMA fighter who is also on OnlyFans and he had written her a fan letter. He says she got in touch and they're "head over heels in love" and she's leaving her MMA fighter husband for him. He says I'll meet her soon. Sure.

I don't know what to do. He really, really scares me. He keeps talking about buying a gun and I talk him out of it because I keep imagining I'm going to lose patience and call him out and then there will be a bullet with my name on it. I so regret inviting him into our lives. I'm so tired of his BS, there's so much more that I didn't include. We're talking about selling the house and then he'll have to leave the fifth wheel (we currently are on 3 acres but could move into our rental in town). I honestly don't know where he would live because rent is so expensive here plus no one is going to want him as a roommate. He's completely spiraled out of control. Walmart is forcing him to see a therapist because of the incident there (if he wants to keep his job) but he's looking for another job. He says if he goes to the therapist he isn't going to tell her about his childhood. WTH? Does he know what therapy even is?

He's constantly embarrassing me in this small town - he creeps out the bartenders, taking their pix and posting them on his Insta along with all kinds of other things and he never fails to tell everyone I'm his sister. He walks around the park shirtless so everyone can see his satan tattoos, punching in the air and talking to himself. Currently our mom is in a home with Alzheimer's and stepdad died of a heart attack. The brother that was also living at home is in prison for a while...and the third brother I have no idea where he even is. I don't know what to do. It just feels good to vent. I never knew him that well and honestly I can't stand him. I regret trying to help and don't know what to do to get him to go away. Far away. I am scared.

Hi all, I found this community today after realising that others have probably gone through what I’m going through.
Thank you in advance for any thoughtful sharing on your part.

I’m a male (39) engaged to a female (38) who has bipolar disorder. She was diagnosed in 2020 after a very bad manic episode while we were visiting Japan. It was an extremely traumatic experience for me, so much so that two of our friends flew out to bring us home (we’re from Europe).

A bit of background: we’ve been together for 13 years, and in April 2024 I proposed. She’s been a loving, fun girlfriend, sometimes a bit afraid of full commitment, and our relationship, like many others, has had its ups and downs, but mostly ups. We work in the same field (tech) and are both relatively successful in our careers. I have a much larger group of friends than she does, as she’s more reserved, quieter, and less outgoing—which is something I absolutely love about her.

After that first episode, I—like many of you—dove deep into learning about bipolar disorder (BD) to understand it better. She had a three-month depressive period after the manic episode, but after about a year things really returned to normal. In fact, she spent four years without any episode. She has been under the care of a different doctor since the first episode (after a few false starts), and I felt so comfortable that I decided to propose. I thought, “This is manageable... with the right medication, nothing is stopping her.” We scheduled another trip to Japan, and I took the opportunity to propose there. It was lovely; she was surprised and we had a great time.

Then, in August of last year, she had another episode. My anxiety spiked and we ended up in the hospital emergency room. It was milder than the first withmumbled speech, frantic behaviour, etc. and after three days she returned to normal and life resumed ended up resuming. I was fairly okay with it. I knew episodes could happen and 1 in 4 years isn't bad at all. I can could deal with that.

At the beginning of this month though, there was another one, much smaller, where she actually came to me for help saying she was feeling overwhelming anxiety. We went to the doctor's (this time no emergency thankfully), but it took her a while to rebalance - potentially a week I'd say.

Now I’m in a dark place. Maybe I’m being dramatic, but I feel cornered and unsure what to do. On one hand, she’s a loving person who relies on me to help her gauge whether she’s doing well. She genuinely wants to stay on top of her disorder—managing sleep, work stress, etc.—and take responsibility for it, which makes me think this can work. We could get married and life could go on.

On the other hand, I don’t know if I can go through another episode; it’s crushing. She changes, and I end up feeling like a caregiver rather than a partner.

So this is where I’m at. I know no one can make this decision for me, but it feels good to write it out. I’ve told my sister and one of my best friends about these doubts and they support me either way. But what should I do?

If I stay, I worry I won’t be able to become a father which is something I’ve always wanted. She asked me to wait until she was at least 35, and then the disorder appeared. I know there may be more episodes, and I fear I might stop being a loving partner and become only a caregiver. But she’s kind. She doesn’t have an ounce of selfishness. She truly loves me and I can tell that. She misses her dad (he passed), which we believe can be a trigger everytime around the aniversary of his passing, which make her very connected with her family overall.

If I leave, I don’t even know how I’d start another relationship. We’ve been together 13 years—it’s a whole life. We’ve built so much together. How would I live with leaving in the middle of an illness? She helped me when I needed it most. But maybe I could find someone who can be a partner to me, and maybe I could be a dad.

As I write this, I feel profound sorrow and I'm sad for myself, for the situation, for her... I try to distract myself and hope these doubts will blow over and we’ll be married next October, but I’m not sure. Can you tell me what to do? lol

Thanks, all.

[EDIT]: Yes my SO is medicated for a long time now. She's on 300mg quetiapine + 10mg olanzapine. She's now stable again since her last episode earlier this month.

Has anyone else’s year been like the worst year of their lives? My husband became manic in February of this year and I’m still dealing with the horrible fallout. Starting the separation process for custody now, it’s going to be intense and stressful. My entire summer/year was awful, like literally I had NO free weekend the entire summer, just working and working on court documents. Can anyone relate? Now school starting up for my little one, I feel like crying. I just need a single day off. We didn’t even go to a beach or anything all summer.

TL;DR: My wife was diagnosed as bipolar last year after a months-long, unhinged manic episode. She has been taking medication under the care of a psychiatrist since then and was doing pretty well until a few weeks ago. Uncontrollable insomnia and racing paranoid thoughts are resurfacing. Help.

Full Story: My wife was diagnosed as bipolar a little less that a year ago at 45 years old. We've been married for almost 20 years. I had seen signs over the years, such as paranoia about family, friends and coworkers being out to get her, and lashing out at them and me for imagined transgressions. She was fired from two jobs over the years for this. I had also seen periods of depression in which she needed encouragement to get out of the house and engage in life. But I did not witness a full-blown, unhinged manic episode until last October.

We were at a restaurant with some family members and an imagined injustice set her off. On the way home, she began screaming at me at the top of her lungs and waving her arms to the point that I did not feels safe driving. I pulled over on the service road in an unfamiliar area at which point she jumped out of the car and began hitchhiking. I followed her with the window down encouraging her to get back in the car. I finally pulled the car over and started following on foot. I was able to get one of her close friends on the phone with her who convinced her to get back in the car with me. In hindsight, I realize that this had been building for about a month. Once I got her somewhat calmed down, I was able to convince her that she needed professional help and we got her into a psychiatrist. She was diagnosed over the next few weeks and immediately started on a medication regimen. By January, she was fairly stable, but it was a bumpy and frightening ride for those three months.

She was doing pretty well up until a few weeks ago. It started with days-long insomnia. She went three days straight without any sleep, even on sleep medication, and I would estimate that she has maybe gotten 12 hours total over the past two weeks. Last night, she was back to the racing thoughts and feelings that everything was crumbling around her, uncontrollable anxiety even on anxiety medication, and general feelings of restlessness. Again, she said that she did not sleep a wink and was having feeling of dissociation this morning. I tried to convince her to call in sick, but she refused since she has already missed three days since all of this started. She has been in contact with her psychiatrist throughout all of this, but nothing seems to be helping. I have been super supportive, telling her that her doctor will help her figure out a way to get her back on track and that I am there for her in any way she needs me. But honestly, I am terrified because she is showing many of the signs that led up to her last manic episode and I don't know how I will handle a repeat. If anyone has any bits of advice or words of comfort, they would be greatly appreciated.

My partner is medicated and in therapy. I believe they are bipolar 1. They told me today they are slipping in to a depression and I want to support them as much as possible. Problem is they haven't had that much and can't tell me really what that looks like. They shut down pretty quickly when I ask many questions, so I'm just trying to get some ideas.

Like, do I fix them their favourite foods? Get them ice cream and donuts? Ask if they're ok even though they're going to say they're fine when they aren't?

I told them I would keep bringing them three meals a day, even if they isolate, and that if they want to up by 9:00 a.m. I'd come and gently wake them and if they won't be able to get out of bed by 10:00 a.m. I would come and sit with them and make sure that they got some food and got their meds. I just don't know how to support them and just googling it doesn't give you much aside from have patience with them. Thank you in advance.

Edited to add: we do have some ruptures in our relationship we need to repair. I have a VERY fragile nervous system right now and can't handle frantic and nervous energy, and so I shut them down in a rather abrupt fashion yesterday and because of that they don't feel super safe with me. So I am navigating both of those dynamics (my nervous system and the rupture) at the same time and want to be respectful of that as well. I'm concerned that might be impacting their ability to talk with me, which is also why I'm trying to gain some outside advice on how to help support them best.

hello lovelies, posting today cause Im just feeling quite confused and triggered. I was driving home today and as I pulled in to park, I saw my ex (who I was with for three years) putting a letter into my mailbox.

unfortunately I have a peace bond against him currently, so he should not be anywhere near the house.

when I opened the mail there was:

•a local salvation army pamphlet looking for volunteers •a hospital bracelet from the 7th of this month •a drink ticket for a local bar •a christianity pamphlet that you often find under windshield wipers •a blurry photo if him from our trip to New York •a joker card from a deck of cards featuring 3 cities Reno, Lake Tahoe & Virginia City

& finally

•a ripped letter from the RCMP dated June 10th 2024 (5 months before he had an episode and was arrested for attacking me) this is the most confusing piece, as I was with him in June and I have no clue what this could be about. It’s ripped right below it saying “to whom it may concern” so really there’s no information other than a file number I can’t trace

I don’t know if Im looking for advice, decryption or commiseration to be honest.

just concerned for his wellbeing while at the same time just wishing it was easier for me to move on. it’s hard to not care/worry for him, but also he attacked me, and became very abusive when he was paranoid and manic, so I also sort of despise him.

I have a courtdate with him in October 23rd regarding his arrest, though I was the victim, I have no say in pressing charges, and will be called to testify as a witness.

Im not worried about him attacking me or stalking me or anything, I don’t think that’s what’s happening with this package he left, but have no idea how to take this.

I dunno Im just trying not to spiral trying to figure out what the hell all of this means.

I just want him to get help and get back on some meds so we both can continue with our lives separately.

Very generic title, but I’ll try to explain it so I’m a gamer and today I was playing a game with her and it’s a game where I just wanna you know play, relax have fun and I don’t want tips or advice but if I do, I will ask for it right? So at one point I kept dying and she’s like. and I was like don’t need advice thank you. I’ll figure it out on my own. I will do it on my own. Then I don’t know where she’s not. One thing is a red flag not a red flag. So I snapped for the first time probably in a year.

I said well every time I give you advice , you more or less always disagree or have a go at it so how about not giving I’ll ask you if I feel like I need to.

And then she was being a little bit rude so I said at this point, I don’t know if it’s your personality or your bipolar that’s acting like this.

Which made her a little bit pissed and it’s always like she is allowed to say whatever she wants interrupt be rude or mean, but if I want to spend five or 10 seconds explaining myself, I get crap.

I understand that the disease causes wild behavior during mania or hypomania. What about when someone is a jerk on several occasions throughout the year? I think my SO will attribute everything to BP but is it really possible for BP to flare up throughout the year randomly for a day and then subside?

Basically just wanted to vent and hear about how you know whether it’s the disease or whether the SO is just being a jerk and cheating, lying, being selfish etc

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting, so I really appreciate any responses because I don’t know where else to turn other than to the people who would understand this the most

I (21F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (22M) for 6 months. I’ve known about his disorder ever since he mentioned it on our second date, but at the time I didn’t think much of it because he said he "didn’t believe in it." That changed when the symptoms started showing, and sure enough, he had the qualities of someone with bipolar II disorder

In March, I brought it up to him. Wanting to understand him better, I scoured the internet and this subreddit to learn more. My love for him has always been unconditional, and I’ll keep standing by him through his highs and lows, even though he isn’t currently medicated or in therapy. I’ve read that this can make things harder, but I’m still here. We’ve had ups and downs, especially when he says things without a filter or speaks out of frustration. Has it hurt me? Of course. But he always apologizes, and I’ve stayed hopeful

Yesterday, he facetimed me like usual, but he seemed really down. I asked what was wrong, and while I was there for him, he started sobbing. I’ve seen him cry before, so I just focused on supporting him like I always do. He said he really wanted to see me, and of course, I agreed

He came over, and as soon as I stepped out of my house, he hugged me tightly and sobbed. The sound of his crying still rings in my ears. It was like someone close to him had died. We sat in the back seat of his car, holding each other while he cried on my shoulder. Then he started explaining why he felt this way

He told me he had been feeling like this for a few days, thinking about how much he has hurt me with certain things he has said and done throughout the relationship, and how he shouldn’t have treated me that way even when frustrated. He said I deserve better and that he despises the "negative qualities" of himself that came out in this relationship

He admitted these same qualities were why he ended his first serious relationship. I’m his second. He said he hopes I don’t hate him. I could never hate him. I love him so much. He’s a beautiful person inside and out. But then he said he thinks it would be best if he let me go, even though it hurts him to say that

I tried so hard to convince him not to. I told him this doesn’t have to happen, that the awareness he has means something, and we can work through this. I’ve always been a fighter, no matter the relationship. I don’t want to spend 6 months together only to part ways. That’s why I’m committed to fighting for this. He’s crazy to think I’d leave just because of his insecurities and flaws. I see a side of him no one else has, and I wouldn’t change a thing about him. Yes, he has his moments, but I have so much patience and love, and I want this to work. I know it has to be up to him whether he actually wants to work on our relationship and work on himself, and I respect that

Could this be a depressive episode? The longer I’ve known him, the more I’ve learned not to take a lot of what he says too seriously because half the time he doesn’t even mean it. I’m questioning if this is one of those times. I feel like he could be sabotaging himself and this relationship if he goes through with it. I think he feels like he always has to suffer or carry guilt alone. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional

The last time he texted me was about 12 hours ago, saying we both need time to breathe and process. I texted him a few hours later and haven’t heard back yet, but I respect his need for space. I just hope it’s anything other than breaking up

I’ve read a lot of stories about relationships failing with this disorder, but I’ve also seen stories of couples making it work. Any advice on how to navigate this would mean so much to me. Thank you for sticking through this long post if you did

My(f) partner of two years (m) is in the midst of a manic episode and I was blindsided with him stating hes going to break the lease and leave, he definitely does not have the money for it. And during his ramblings he stated he wanted to leave cause he was worried he’d might hurt me essentially. So I did call the crisis line and left for my safety. I am wondering if anyone went through something similar with their partner while they were having an episode? I’m just really sad right now

Had nothing to do with my ex all year but they ‘accidentally’ got in touch recently. I was firm in re-establishing my boundary. But the sudden contact and their ‘it was just a mistake, as if I’d intentionally contact you’ attitude knocked me, despite me not thinking they could get to me.

Now I’m feeling angry at them again. For the extent of their lies, for what they did and for ‘accidentally’ messaging me rather than being brave enough to address me openly. Our relationship is in the past & I’ll like to keep it there but I guess I need to let myself feel this.

Does anyone else get moments of anger? Do you have tips on managing it?

I’ve moved on and met someone I really like (the exes BP1 sensors must’ve felt it!) so I’m not stuck in limbo, but this person and the situation I got stuck in with them did hurt me.

Thank you in advance for reading, I feel weird posting this but this seems like a really helpful community and I'm at my wits' end.

My boyfriend had a manic episode early this year and was hospitalised for a while. He's been getting virtually no professional MH support since leaving hospital, and has gradually cycled through into the pit of depression now. Even though he lives with family I feel responsible for his emotional wellbeing as we're checking in on text or calls most of the time and he seems to rely on me for most social support.

It's broken my heart seeing him go through both sides of this hell. I feel like I don't have time or safety to process that because the crisis is ongoing and it's my job to stay on the ball and make sure he's OK. There's a bit of pressure from his family to stay with him at all costs in case he gets way worse. They have also relied on me to tackle a lot of the advocacy with services etc. which then makes it hard to have capacity for actual quality time with him.

He can't engage with what's going on in the outside world beyond a minimum and we can't do a lot or chat about things as he's lost interest in anything. He doesn't want to try most things, and I get that comes with lack of motivation in this depression, that seems to be sucking him dry. He often resists ideas or attempts to get more help from professionals or nonprofits/communities, while at the same time telling me how desperate he feels, which I struggle with so much.

I have had a lot of difficult times in my life with early loss and chronic health issues and I spent years fighting to get myself in some kind of stable place. I'm struggling to cope with the instability of this on top of my own precariousness, it's like throwing lots of extra pieces on a Jenga tower. I had to go to the doctor and family and friends have been worried about me.

He seems to understand sometimes that it's been hard for me, and I really don't want him to feel guilty for being so unwell. I'm scared what happens if he starts feeling like a "burden". He's so vulnerable. But I feel more and more like I'm invisible. I watch him slide and feel responsible for it, and run around trying to find solutions while struggling to keep my own life afloat on my own, functionally as a single person.

I guess the question is - what is it OK to expect/want from a relationship when your person is this ill? I step back and do my own stuff/"take care of myself" as people tell me to, I feel better but then feel guilty. I feel selfish for asking him to do things, like coming out to meet me. l've felt controlling for asking him not to do things that resulted in more worrying outcomes, like drinking while on meds. I feel attention seeking if I say how much things are impacting me.

It's like I can't help him, get any of my needs met or protect myself in the situation, or leave it. I feel as if I've been trapped in an emergency for months.

How do others manage this? What is it OK for me to want or ask of my relationship / how do people maintain one? I'm lost.

TL;DR supporting partner in deep post psychosis depression, struggling to cope

For the last 2 years, dealing with absolutely nonsensical stuff like this has done a number on me. There is less than zero reason for him to think like this, I make my own way in life and never hit him up for money, even when he made twice as much as I did. In the very beginning of dating, I explicitly told him that I didn’t care about his income or bank account, that it wasn’t what was important to me in a relationship. One day he even tried to show me how much he had in savings and I literally told him that I didn’t care. Then one day we’re sitting on a bench, chilling, and he tells me that. I don’t even know how to respond to these things. And he just spends hours and days and weeks on end like this.