r/Bolehland • u/MrZimsLumos • Jul 31 '25
Original Content Is it normal to always hug your mom?
I'm male, 21,. Since PKP 2020 when i was 16 years old my mom got traumatic when she got CoVID. Even after recovering from it, she always stressed out to the point of not eating . Like it affect her psychologically about a year. Since then, i always hug my mom whenever i get the chance. At first she was irritated but now its like an everyday thing. In one day, i at least hugged her once. But now that i think about it, im 21, like is it appropriate for me to act this way? I've been doing this for 5 years now 😭
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u/Impressive-Maybe-345 Jul 31 '25
OP, you are the best. Never, ever, ever stop hugging your parents. You may even kiss her on the forehead.
We can never turn back the time lost.
Days passing in the blink of an eye.
I regret for not having shown more of my feelings when I was younger. That night. I remember vividly. We were having dinner and I sat next to my mother. She was all happy, we were making jokes. I was enjoying the food my mom cooked.
I never knew, that was the last dinner I had shared with my mom.
The last time I saw her smile. The last time I heard her voice.
And, man, I wish I could hug her now.
Be in the best character with your parents.
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u/Long-Desk9231 Aug 01 '25
Rest in peace to your mother. God bless her soul and God bless you on your journey.
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u/Impressive-Maybe-345 Aug 01 '25
Thank you for your kind words. Not a single day passes, I would say as the clock ticks - without me missing my mom. Always.
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u/lionel_wan68 Jul 31 '25
its prefectly normal. whenever i see my parents i hug them. even when in big family events when we sit together i hug her, rubs her back. when she leaves my house i gives her big hug. whenever we cross street she holds my arm or we hold hands as we cross. and im 39. i have my own child i show him its normal and sweet to love your "papa" and "mama".
i think its normal and its prefectly good and normal to be loving to your parents. life is unpredictable. one day they will leave this world i dont want to have regrets not loving my parents enough.
my maternal grandmother left us on mother's day. it still hurts my mom when she listens to "mother day songs on mother's day."
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u/Opening-Blueberry529 Jul 31 '25
The people who don't are abnormal
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u/lokomanlokoman Ini Bolehland, Bukan Bodohland 🥴 Aug 01 '25
Surprisingly they are people like that.. siap kutuk2 lagi org2 mcm kita ni 😒😒😒
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u/_HopsonTheGrate_ Jul 31 '25
Nothing wrong, OP. Your family, your choice. I want to hug my mom once now also cannot as she's no longer around. So cherish it when she's still around.
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u/ReporterOk69420 Jul 31 '25
I mean some don’t even have the chance to do so. Cherish your ability to make your parents happy sad much as you can
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u/akmaltiaza Jul 31 '25
you don't have know when will you ever get the chance to do it again. keep it up. don't ever stop.
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u/Duck057 Jul 31 '25
Its always a positive. After my Dad passed couple years ago, my biggest regret was I couldn’t afford buying him lunch or dinner since I was just a kid.
So since then whenever my mom wants to eat with me, I will go all the way to make sure to make it happen.
I do hug my mom as well and always, ALWAYS says I Love Her and Good Night everyday.
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u/fxcked_that_for_you Jul 31 '25
My mom stopped hugging me when I turned 20ish. But then afterwards she got cancer and we hugged all the time, I miss hugging her.
Never stop OP, cherish what you have with your mom, no need to care if others think it’s weird.
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u/facundofizero Jul 31 '25
I hug and kiss my mom and dad whenever I had the chance. I am 38 this year. Will continue to do it until the end.
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u/BadPsychological2181 Jul 31 '25
Not normal coz most people don't do it but you should definitely continue and hopefully others will follow suit as well..I'm gonna definitely hug mom tomorrow,thanks OP
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u/chunkychipmunk23 Jul 31 '25
I hug and kiss my mum, dad, and siblings. If they're ok with it, do it as much as you can. You can never show family too much love.
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u/unic_beast Jul 31 '25
hug your momma like its her or your last day, heck hug everyone you care even your bros your sis your. spread love always, you did good :D
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u/kasumiaira96 Jul 31 '25
I mean it's your mom. Better do that always, to show we love and appreciate them. Just don't be a momma boy.
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u/Elnuggeto13 Jul 31 '25
I always hug and kiss my mom's cheek. It's very normal when you have a good relationship with her.
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u/Particular_Gear9059 Jul 31 '25
nothing wrong at all with hugging your parents. highly encouraged. if anyone says otherwise then they’re the weird one
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u/a_sleepless_koala Jul 31 '25
Almost 25 here. No longer living with my parents but I'll always hug them whenever I balik kampung to meet them. That and before departing back to my rumah sewa. I know some people who think it's embarrassing for them to do so but I won't disagree with them. I'm not honest enough to tell my mom I love her but I'd definitely hug her everytime I can <333
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u/Straight_Invite_1251 Jul 31 '25
Bro that's a good thing , nothing to be ashamed of... Just maybe don't do it in front of your potential crush you tryna impress. 🤣but if she's already ur gf, keep it up. Nothings wrong
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u/InCahootsWithYou Jul 31 '25
I wish i had hugged my dad more often when he was around.
Hug your mom daily bruv..as many times a day as u can..
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u/Awkward-Abroad2688 Jul 31 '25
I’m 21 female and I’m very close to my dad too. I cuddle with my dad, sometimes I sleep between my parents, it’s not weird. so many of my friends even envy the relationship I have with my dad. Anyone to think this is inappropriate probably watching weird ass porn out there
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u/Proud_Action_5200 Jul 31 '25
Absolutely! I did that well into my 30s and 40s. My dad has since passed so I can only cuddle with my mum. My parents are the old school type. I started hugging them whenever I'm back home on holiday from working overseas in my early 20s.
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u/ianosfera Jul 31 '25
My brothers and I rarely hugged our late mom. It wasn’t until I moved to another state and could only see her once a month that I started hugging her every time I got the chance. My brothers, who lived nearby, didn’t change.
Then, suddenly, my mom passed away from an infection. My brothers were filled with regret. They said the distance made them take her for granted and told me I was lucky that my last moment with her was a hug.
So, hug your mom...always. One day, you’ll be apart from her, whether you’re ready or not.
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u/Technical_Pipe5078 Jul 31 '25
Nothing embarrassing to hug your mom OP. Not many people get the chance to do it.
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u/oubwlqqaw Jul 31 '25
As a mom of young kids, please OP continue to hug your mom. Nothing makes a parent happier than to receive affection from their child.
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u/Ninjaofninja Jul 31 '25
How do i say it... It is unusual but perfectly normal. Its very nice and loving that you practice this gesture and please dont stop. Our world need more such gesture to our loving parents who sacrificed for us all.
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u/Starsonata10 Jul 31 '25
Im 27. I would hug my mom, if she's still here. Take all the chances you can op.
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u/DishSwimming2397 Jul 31 '25
isnt normal ? that is true parent love, sometime a lot , if not, 95-99% parent want physical touch from their children sometime as assurance, same thing to married couple / couple / fwb / one night stand
if no hug for entire year then something is terrible wrong, either your parent are misogynist , misandry and Narcissistic or they simply see u as their retirement fund / wallet / item
speak from experience of course
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u/Dear_Elevator_3081 Jul 31 '25
Aww that's so sweet. My family ain't that affectionate but I always hug my nephews and nieces. I don't want them to feel like I did. When I moved school I was surprised my new friends were so affectionate with each other. We always shakehand and laga pipi, kiss kiss gittew. But I always affectionate with my former friends, I always give them hugs, that's all but I never did this with my family, so it's kinda sad.
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u/Aiden_Recker bolehland, semua boleh Jul 31 '25
hug your mother until the end of times bro. even if you're a millenia old you can always hug your mother
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u/uknownuthin Jul 31 '25
Don’t stop, OP. I only see my parents two weeks out of the year because I live (and work) outside of the country. I always hug them whenever I visit them.
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u/Weak_Percentage_7362 Jul 31 '25
You can never be too old to hug your mum. This reminds me, I should give my parents a hug.
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u/MuteButHappyOwl Jul 31 '25
Don't be silly mate. Just hug her while you can. There are many out there who wish they could cuddle their momma but are unable to. You're the privileged few. Never stop while you still have her.
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u/Naive-Pressure3493 Kapal LAWD Jul 31 '25
32 male. I hug my mom, i hold her hand whenever i take her out, i kiss her cheeks whenever I'm leaving her for a long time. Not once i feel ashamed of it
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u/saIminE Jul 31 '25
I'm 29 and i still hug my mom everyday before going to work. Hug her while you still can OP
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u/FanPsychological9334 Jul 31 '25
It’s normal. I hug and kiss my mom & dad cheeks b4 i go out. Keep doing it cause they won’t be here forever.
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u/Quirky_Internal_7175 Jul 31 '25
I hugged both my parents since i was a child, so it's perfectly normal
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u/LeastAd6767 Jul 31 '25
When i was in secondary school. I started to notice one thing. My parents are becoming older.
Dulu boleh naik tangga mudah je utk cari rezeki. Now dah sakit2 lutut.
The whisper came to me. One day , its inevitable. My parents will grow old. And theyll be gone forever.
I ran down and make an effort to try to hug them till this day.
Few of memories i still hold dear . Damn gonna send a WhatsApp to them shortly OP. Thanks for reminding OP.
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u/Striking-Feature8220 Jul 31 '25
hug while you still can. appreciate your time with her while still can, ignore whatever people said.
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u/Coralsnake22 Jul 31 '25
Doesn't matter how old you are, its always normal and sweet to hug our parents. Do it all the way till the end and never stop.
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u/DaizLionheart Jul 31 '25
No matter how old you are, you will always be her child. And that will never change. Keep loving your mother, op.
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u/UnswallowedCumin02 Jul 31 '25
Seems like her early response might be the same as my mom too.
But if she seems ok with it then hug your mom.
My ego always got the better of me so consider yourself lucky to hug your mom everyday.
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u/AmyRay_Nas Jul 31 '25
Keep it up, always. I've got some personal family stuff going on. Now I appreciate & embrace every moment & chance I can hug my mom.
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u/Hzzif I'm NOT a femboy Jul 31 '25
Never have thought Bolehland comments to be so wholesome. Keep hugging your mom, OP.
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u/micdarlin987 Jul 31 '25
A new mother here, and this warms my heart. Hope my son will grow up like you.
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u/Razorlemonade Jul 31 '25
Nothing wrong with that, good on you bro. Cherish the time that you have with them, some people don't get that chance.
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u/salmonmilks Jul 31 '25
I've never really hugged my parents, don't even know what's a good occasion to do it either. Our family has never done that.
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u/minegamingYT2 Jul 31 '25
You seriously asking about if it's appropriate to love and appreciate your mom? 😭😭😭
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u/Terang93 Jul 31 '25
Mate, I kept hugging my mom when I go out since I was a kid. Until she died of cancer when I was 21. If she didn't die of cancer, I'd still hug her every day. It's totally normal.
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u/doomscyte Jul 31 '25
Yes, you never know it's going to be her last and no I'm not paranoid.
Men tends to regret when they least expect it. Once you become busy with your job etc, you'll forget them even becomes irritable and may say some hurtful stuffs, then the next thing you know, it's your last words you said to them..
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u/Th3-51gm4_M4l3 Aug 01 '25
Bro....they're your parents. U can ALWAYS hug and kiss them...show em ur love,...
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u/Matherold Aug 01 '25
Just hug
Imagine the number of hugs you get before she passes, and then afterwards even if you want to hug then it's too late
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u/Impossible_Raisin879 Aug 01 '25 edited Aug 01 '25
Nothing to be ashamed of from hugging you mom and dad. I just wish I hugged my dad frequently when he was still here.
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u/HyperDron aku suka terbang Aug 01 '25
If there's ever a thought that hugging or loving your own parents is weird, then the world is fucked.
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u/CN8YLW Aug 01 '25
One day when your mom isnt around anymore you'll hate yourself for not showing her enough love when she was around. So yeah, not really anything to do with normal or not, just what's acceptable in your family and how much you want to look back to your past in the future and regret your actions. And everyone shows and receive love differently.
Case in point my mom has always portrayed herself as a "strong woman" type of person. So she's awkward when we hug her, but she's happy to give out hugs. But she does appreciate it when I take the time to help her with things in her life she has trouble with.
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u/adampotatos Aug 01 '25
Hug her, bro.
My family never do hugging, i remember my parents went to umrah my mom hugged me for the first time since I was a child I literally stood there in shock as their car drove away.
You'll never know it will be your last hug.
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u/Synterino Aug 01 '25
Im 33M, brought up in a family where there wasn’t much show of affection. I hug my mother everytime i see her. Cherish what you have now, dont wait until you regret.
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u/bearwithane Aug 01 '25
Nvm that reading someone aged 16 in 2020 is now 21 makes me feel old 😭 also, nothing wrong with that!! Hug your mom everyday who cares!!
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u/Weekly-Schedule5430 Aug 01 '25
im sorry to hear this bro, yeah like other comments, hug her... she needs it
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u/Nthykz Aug 01 '25
Is it normal? It depends on the family dynamic. In your case, it is normal. People might find it different but pay no mind to it. You can explain to others like how you did here and if they still find it different, then that's on them. If you have a great relationship with your parents,keep it up. They are getting older and you might not have enough time to appreciate them.
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u/PAraDiEDead Jul 31 '25
my late mom had stage 4 cancer and I made sure I hugged her for years even though our relationship was rocky. It’s definitely uncomfortable to hug at first, especially when someone who practically caused u so much trauma yet gave birth to you, but when she passed, I’m so glad I hugged her. Hugging is really the best way to tell someone that you love them and want to be close to them despite everything. It makes anyone become less aggressive. Keep hugging them! I hug my mom in law and my dad’s new girlfriend too. Hug everyone. Hug hug hug!!!
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u/MrLiverpool_fan Jul 31 '25
The answer for this question is just a simple yes or no but damn some of you made me teared up.
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u/TheAllFather58 Jul 31 '25
Hug ur mom while u still can bro. I miss hugging my mom. She said adult sons are not supposed to hug mothers as it's not age-appropriate. I miss hugging
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u/Friendly-Basis-4043 Jul 31 '25
Last I hugged my mom when i was 10. Since that i never hug my mom but handshake kiss my mom hand only.
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u/Orionzete Jul 31 '25
She your mom, the only women in you life that always love you, the first women who will do anything for you, the first women that believe you can do anything.You can have as many wife and GF but you only have one mom forever.
So hug your mum OP, you are a good kid.
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u/atheanne what am i doing here Jul 31 '25
Normal and keep doing it. I'm 27, I hug my mom and sisters after I lost my dad. Even hug all of my fruit kids. The thought of "Someday it will be the last hug", and the guilt of I never got to hug my dad properly before his final day haunted me.
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u/forcebubble menjadi insan baik atau buruk itu adalah pilihan Jul 31 '25
She may not show it but to get a hug from her child can just melt all the tiredness and weariness of life away. As adults we don't get enough sincere thanks for a difficult job done — "do you want a praise for something that is expected?" but that simple gesture may just be the kindest and most precious thing you can do for her.
So many things in life are transient that they seem to just come and go, pointless... but they are proof that both of you existed even if nobody remembers in the far future.
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u/Strong-Importance970 Jul 31 '25
It's normal, bro. She is your mother. If you have friends that say it's embarrassing or you're a mama's boy. Just ignore them and cherish her the best you can.
Some of us here no longer have parents, or one of them have passed away, and for me, i lost my father like 3 years ago, and i..let's say our relationship wasn't good. It was my fault tho, 100%. I took a deep L. Before my father passed away, all he asked was just a picture of the current me and i never fulfilled it..and the regret do comeback sometimes. So now, i just do the best i can for my mother. 😄
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u/genryou Jul 31 '25
There is an age limit to hug our mom? Daymn, police gonna nabbed my 40+ year old ass for breaking the law
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u/Yao_Productions vroom vroom enjoyer :hamster: Aug 01 '25
OP, you’re a good kid, a good son. I’m 23, sometimes I wish I can hug my dad and mum as I know my dad is so stressed due to a court case which involves a lot of money. Unfortunately I’m overseas, been working for past 3 years. When I was younger I fought with my parents, sometimes I wish I can take back the things I said, but I also know why I said it back then, both me and my parents were right and wrong at the same time.
But yeah, keep hugging her, because one day (touch wood), you wished you hugged her more.
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u/SpecialistAd2332 Aug 01 '25
Yes, yes it is. One of my biggest regret is that I stopped hugging my late youngest bro.
He died in a car crash a couple years back and I'm still kicking myself for not showing how much I actually live him. Treasure your mom and family members OP. You never know when it's their time
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u/mukhaniz Aug 01 '25
Hugging your parents is normal OP.. everybody does it.. getting a hard on while hugging your parents is not.. please dont that.. seek help if it happen..
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u/biakCeridak MaChiBan Aug 01 '25
Keep hugging your mom OP.
We Asians should hug more. Our parents, siblings, cousins aunty uncle.. our friends.
I come from a family of non huggers. I'm the one doing this now. Even my aunty not used to it. Lmaooo. But I do it anyway.
We're such a touch deprived society. It's up to our generation to change this.
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u/StuffAfraid Aug 01 '25
Remember the word from Gazi in Dying Light: "If mama ain't happy, nobody is happy"
Keep huggin your mama op.
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u/3inchesofcuriosity Aug 01 '25
depending on the generation. it's a normal thing regardless of race...but how often or seldom varies from one family to another.
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Aug 01 '25
i am 32 yo male and i still hug my mum and kiss her forehead every day because i know i wont be able to do it when she leaves me for good.
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u/CoolWei2006 Kedahlang strongest weeb. Also a pc nerd Aug 01 '25
As a fellow anak mama. Yes it is normal. I'm almost 20 and I always hug my mom
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u/Ok-Statistician-4010 Aug 01 '25
Hug when you still got a chance later you might regret it someday if you didn't do it
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u/Dull-Finding-7959 g/177013 Aug 01 '25
Keep hugging her man, I lost my mom last year and now I have no chance to hug her. I keep missing the love of her.
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u/lokomanlokoman Ini Bolehland, Bukan Bodohland 🥴 Aug 01 '25
Keep hugging your mum OP!! I'm 29 y/o and am not afraid to admit I'm still a mama's boy.
And I hate when people use those words as derogatory words. Like, they make fun of me and what not but for me, "it's not my problem that they and their family had a problem to part they are not closer to each other".
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u/Mirbatt Aug 01 '25
For us Eastern people is normal if you feel not then Western propaganda is in your head
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u/MeMyselfandyourCat Aug 01 '25
Nothing wrong about hugging your mother. I'd say it's odd if that's a foreign concept.
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u/educated_stick Aug 01 '25
why not? ever since i was 7 i always kiss my mom on the cheeks before going to school. now 25 still doing it before going to work and i sometimes held her hand if we're hanging out. it's normal to be affectionate.
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u/Lekranom Aug 01 '25
In Asian households, usually no. But don't let that stop you from doing it. It's just our dumb culture of not doing emotional intimacy among family members. Keep hugging your mom OP <3
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u/hennwei Aug 01 '25
I’m 41. My dad is 77. I hug him and hold his hand whenever I can. My mum passed away in 2018.. I wish I could hug her one more time. ):
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u/neocyke Aug 01 '25
As one who doesn't have one anymore... Yes. It's fine. Do it while you still can...
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u/MixOwn9256 Aug 01 '25
Keep hugging and cherish each hug. Trust me there will be a day you will miss it when she is gone.
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u/Public_You_2973 Aug 01 '25
I’m 33, last time I hug my mom was last month. Tomorrow imma hug her again. My dad too
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u/Luccifear Aug 01 '25
I’m male, 33, i always hug and kiss my mom and my dad, hug and kiss your mom while you can, dont be ashamed doing that, even infront other people ❤️.
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u/Confident-Escape1747 Aug 01 '25
keep hugging your mom, op. mine is no longer with us, so i can hug her when she comes in my dreams only
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u/waiz89 Aug 01 '25
I dont understand some of my Malay friends call other people Anak Mak for keeping the bond. I mean, of course we are all anak mak, unless you are adopted or kena buang tepi tong sampah. Then your mom dies, you cried like shit, regretting things.
Appreciate your mom while she's still here. Some of us wish we can turn back time just to have that moment longer.
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u/smolPPandFloorgang Aug 02 '25
Bruh. That's your mom. The one person in this world that loves you from the bottom of their heart and the person who gave birth to you. It's not weird to hug. Just continue hugging her. Don't later regret not doing so and so because you think it's weird.
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u/FrankenSigh Aug 02 '25
Hugging mom to show some love is a very sweet move! It's not easy to start so don't stop since it's going well! No harm for an adult to show some love for the parents 🥰
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u/afiqhlzn Aug 02 '25
If there's one thing that I wish I could do now and everyday is, hugging my mom. But fortunately, she passed away in 2018 due to cancer #fuckcancer. So yes keep hugging ur mom fam 💖
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u/Mortis4242 Aug 04 '25
I'd say it's pretty normal. I hugged my mom and dad when I visited, and before I left. Enjoy each hug. Both of my parents died in 2019, so hugging them is a tad difficult.
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u/abe_kuro Aug 05 '25
Satu hari nanti. kau akan faham bila orang kata "rindu yang tiada penghujung"
You missed someone but you cannot hear from them anymore. You cannot call them. You cannot hear their voice. You cannot talk to them. You cannot touch them. You cannot tell them you are already succeed in life. You cannot show your kids to them. You just can't
You are very lucky to still have someone to call MAK. Live your life kid. Enjoy it while you still have them.
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u/AngelBear1107 Jul 31 '25
why not. she is not getting any younger. cherish her while she is still around. you will miss these little moments.
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u/cain1618 Aug 01 '25
I do it too. It's not weird OP. IMO, it's the greatest feeling when your kids come up and hug you when you're not feeling alright.
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u/Danster931 Jul 31 '25
Keep hugging ur momma op.