I (41M) am a classical musician and have been putting on my own concerts for many years in different forms, apart from big school recitals which are a beast. I'm also a bit of a masochist and tend to program big, difficult repertoire for myself. I'm very hard on myself and am rarely satisfied at more than about 65%.

Today I played a concert with my small ensemble and it felt fucking great, there was a much bigger audience than expected and my hot yoga and beta blockers kept me calm, my colleagues and I felt great and the audience responded well, I felt at least 80% happy and then listened to the recording of the piece I was most excited about, and it is absurd and hilarious, and it's literally the first time in 20 years of playing professionally that I'm excited to show something in public and to colleagues. Normally perfectionism keeps me from looking forward to that.

Anyway. This felt like progress you bros might appreciate hearing about. Thanks for being bros and having spaces where we can share successes :)

(May I take this opportunity to suggest another "r" in the flair, which should read "bro-gress"??)

So it's poorly worded but I couldn't think of a different way to ask this question. For more of an explanation of what I mean I'll give an example from my life that's super recent.

I just came back from a weekend vacation for a niche music festival in a city and after the last night of it, me and 3 women all went out and continued the night. None of us were friends before that event but we got together and went to a bar and got some food. As stuff was starting to close we all decided we didn't want the night to end so one of my new friends suggested going back to my hotel room to hang out since I was the only person from out of town and therefore had no roommates that we'd be upsetting. We all agreed and went back and just sat around telling stories and laughing w/ eachother until the sun was coming up.

It was a great experience that really filled a hole for that kind of social bonding I'd been lacking lately and it felt great to have such a wholesome experience with strangers but heres the weird part.

I would hesitate to tell that story to my male peers for fear of judgement or being considered a loser for not making sexual advances towards these women. Its a very weird feeling that I don't want to tell this really positive happy story to people in my life because I feel like I'd draw ire or be mocked for not sleeping with them.

Is this normal bros? Have you ever had that hesitation when it comes to talking with other guys irl?

I hope you are having a good day whenever you are reading this, I just wanted to comment on what I was thinking the last few days, I am 19 years old, I have never managed to connect with anyone, when I was a child I never had problems socializing, but after the pandemic I became too fearful and withdrawn when it came to socializing, it was not until the last year of high school that I was able to be more open again but it was noticeable that I did not have much confidence.

I am close to entering university after a gap year, I have no friends, I have not had a girlfriend, something that has always happened to me since I was a child until today is when I am talking to people, I am always listening attentively and I respond or try to help in case someone needs it but no one ever cares if I have something to say, the few times that I have managed to talk about myself it is always downplayed, they give me vague and short answers to continue with another topic, I have to admit that I consider myself someone very boring to those of my age because I have never gone out to party, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't have a car or anything that makes me "fun" or "interesting" and I don't share the common tastes of the people around me, despite that I always try to fit in even a little with others, try to understand their tastes to have a topic for conversation but no one talks to me if I don't start the conversation.

I know that maybe I am exaggerating things and that I am still very young, I have read that many people like to be alone more but I do not enjoy any of this, I am afraid of not having anyone to talk to or feel something with, I have felt very alone and I am going through a bad time lately, I wanted to know if anyone has gone through something similar or if they could give me some advice.

(Sorry if the spelling is not the best but I wrote this very quickly due to lack of time)

I got asked if I play football (I'm 5' 8" and 290lbs) and been working out every once in awhile when i find time in my week. The other week I got asked if I played football in Highschool (it's been 2 years since I graduated) and it felt like such a good compliment like a "Hey, you look like you are semi fit for a guy your size" and I cant stop thinking about it.

PS. my plan is to do 10 pull ups before march, does anybody have any work out ideas for that?

I’m 17 and am working to be author some day. I’ve written stories and posted them all places, I’ve written a few books but haven’t published any yet, and I don’t know when or if I will.

It’s weird, today was the first day in a while where I felt utterly directionless. I have this goal so firmly placed but I’ve somehow already convinced myself partially that I will fail. And that blows man. I haven’t even reached a position to try and I already have the preconceptions of failure which I know is terrible and normally I can get rid of it by working out or forcing myself to write but today i physically couldn’t do either.

I was just lost and I hated it. I don’t know what to do and that feeling is the worse than any other for me.

I don’t entirely know what to do, but for a start: I’m going to the gym more and force myself to write SOMETHING each day even if it’s slop.

Other than that, it was nice to vent here. 🙏much love bros

I think this quote speaks to many of us. It definitely did for me. When we face a conflict or a breakup, we encounter pain. Sometimes, it isn’t that bad. But even though it doesn’t initially hurt much, it eventually worsens. And one reason is that we keep pushing the knife deeper into ourselves.

Pain triggers our fight-flight-or-freeze response. But in this case, “fight” becomes self-criticism, “flight” becomes self-isolation, and “freeze” becomes self-absorption, getting locked into our own thoughts.

This made me realize that self-care only sounds easy. In reality, it’s a whole learning process. Still, it’s worth taking on.

Been struggling real bad with getting fruit in my system lately. (I'm autistic, and a picky eater.) Hiding it doesn't work, and I haven't been able to stand even my favorites. Today, though, I cut open a watermelon and ate it!

Spent an hour inhaling the fresh air of outside and not sitting in my stuffy room. I reckon it helped a ton bc I'm sick at the moment

I'm asking this here because I feel it's probably the place I'd get the most helpful answers.

I've never really worked out, but I do want to get into it for most of the usual reasons, being looks and so I can do much more physically.

I can't really go to the gym, and as far as equipment goes i have 2 backpacks and whatever random heavy-ish things I can put in them. What I mainly need advice on is just, how I structure a routine? what exercises are effective for each muscle group? How often should I work each group, and how often should I add intensity to a workout? How do I stick with the plan? Should I start with less weight and more reps? Is it okay to only use calisthenics for some muscle groups? Those are some of the general questions I have.

I appreciate any advice you have to offer in the matter.

I was one of the better students in my school last year, but I was extremely happy to see that not only did every teacher who taught me last year recommended me to honors classes with notes stating I was one of their best students. I'm in tears seeing how even in the school system there are people who truly care for me! ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

Some days I don't feel like a man because of the idiots at my school. But A worker called me buddy at a place i went to and it's still stuck with me! I'm passing more and more now. I'm finally starting to not doubt myself!!

A couple weeks ago my friend and my girlfriend watched the movie “Your Name” together, our schedule is usually watching the first half one day and the second half another, and this time the movie made me really sad. It’s the kind of movie that would make a person a bit sad, but for almost a week I kept crying about it because I was really sad for the main characters. I’ve never done that before to any piece of media, the closest was when I finished another anime with my girlfriend and I was just sad for it being over. I’m doing good now about the movie, sometimes I feel sad about it but I’m not crying as much as I was before. It just feels weird to do something like that even though I’m an emotional person. I just wanted to share a bit because I think it’s ok to be emotional and I guess I want others to feel ok being sad like that. (Tbh I just have a hard time finding reasons I just like talking)

We’re wired to celebrate people for their best moments—a star athlete for that one unforgettable match, a colleague for one stellar project, or even a leader for a single inspiring speech. 🌟

But here’s a truth I’ve learned the hard way: in personal and professional life, it’s often the worst qualities of people that shape your journey with them.

💼 At work, I once collaborated with someone brilliant—ideas flowing, execution sharp. But beneath that brilliance was a constant streak of disrespect toward juniors. Guess what lasted longer—the spark of brilliance or the bitterness of that behavior?

❤️ In relationships too, we often forgive, forget, and hope people will “change.” The optimism blinds us, until the same red flags come back louder. Hope is beautiful, but misplaced hope is often the seed of misery.

This doesn’t mean people can’t grow. They can. But growth usually comes when power fades, not when it thrives. A person who abuses power today won’t easily turn gentle tomorrow.

✨ My takeaway? When choosing who to trust, work with, or walk with—don’t just be dazzled by their best. Pay close attention to their worst. Because it’s those cracks, not the shine, that will define your lived experience with them.

👉 Be generous in admiration, but cautious in association.

Leadership #Relationships #LifeLessons #Trust #Workplace

struggled with the usual like thinking im not enough every tiny silent moment was the moment i drowned in self doubt and my thoughts had a long hour of silence with my partner today because she needed to sit in silence (were playing a competitive game together and it was making her mad) and i genuinely didn't feel like shit after i didn't drown in my thoughts just sat there breathing and chilling

I’ve been struggling financially for my whole life and convinced myself that I liked working 7 days a week for the majority of the past 10 years. I finally have one job working 40 hours a week Monday - Friday nights where I am financially stable enough to work one job and still have some “fun” money on the side (as well as money to put in savings). This is the first time in years that I’ve had a normal work week and weekends off and it is a weird but incredible feeling. Today was my last day at job #2 that has involved me working 60ish hours most weeks and every weekend for the past 5+ years.

I convinced myself that I liked working weekends (and worked weekends specifically by choice) because the tips were better but it finally feels like I can breathe and relax for the first time in my life and I am very excited for my future and not spending every day at work.

I’m 31M, just finished grad school and moved to a new state where I don’t know anyone for a new job. I live about 40 minutes from work so a bit of a hike making it tough to really make my coworkers friends, and the office I work at has mostly hybrid workers anyway so there are never that many people in the building. Does anyone have any advice for how to make friends as an adult? I’m pretty introverted and have pretty nerdy hobbies

I (m57) just finished my annual binge watch of BBCs production of Jane Austin's Pride and Prejudice, one of my all time favs. I am curious what shows technically geared for those opposite of the gender you identify with are watched and favored by those on this sub reddit? Hopefully i worded that well enough to include everyone on here. ;p

I've been holed up in my room for about four weeks, I just lay on my bed in and out of consciousness, only getting up to go to the bathroom and to eat. Then my brother tells me he can't go shopping today so I have to go instead, but I am socially awkward, have no friends, have social anxiety, and dislike large crowds, but I had to go, so I go and get everything I need, when out of nowhere some girl bumps into me and starts shouting at me ( in the store, so everyone starts staring), I didn't know what to do so I just told her to shut up and left (Was I in the wrong?). Once I had gotten home I started balling in the doorway, my brother comes and checks up on me, but I lock my self in my room shut myself off again, I'm just scared to go back out again. Does anyone know how to calm the stress, I've been so stressed I started ripping hair out, losing sleep and bitting my skin until I start bleeding, can someone help, please, and if you do, thank you so much.

Feeling proud of it!

Usually it's everyday at least once. But I'm learning some tactics to help calm me down and it worked!

Last weekend I was out with my wife and the event we stopped at got rained out. Another guy had been running with his wife and took shelter in the same little shop. It was busy in there but I stopped and said hey to him and we got to chatting. Turns out me and him had a lot in common. So we exchanged numbers before leaving.

So, all of my guys friends were made in school and uni and I've just hung onto them. Or they were made after seeing each other repeatedly at shared activities. So if I want to make a new friend what do I do?

Hey bros,

Hope we’re all doing well!

I (29M) recently signed up for a beginner’s Muay Thai class at a local gym. They’ve got good reviews, a respectful-supportive bro vibe, and affordable rates. I did this because I’m in a transitional stage of life — moved from Taiwan to London for a PhD, lots of sedentary work — and for the first time, I want to not be obese (178cm, 95kg) and actually do something about it. Not to get laid or be some kind of “alpha” but because this is the person I want to become.

Due to a scheduling mistake I missed my class, but the coach was kind and invited me to their Boot Camp session instead -- essentially a full hour of cardio and weights. This boot camp was the most phsycially and emotionally intense exercise I've had in years, but the group (eight guys plus the coach) culture was overall, amazing: plenty of "hey, respect, man" and fist pumps going around, regardless of how we individually performed. All caps, LOVED IT.

That said, I was clearly the least athletic person of the group. Of the 60-min session, I can only participate like at most 40 mins of it, having to break out of it constantly, panting with my eyes blurred and ears ringing, with both my brain and heart feels like they're blowing up. Out of the 60 minutes, I only managed ~40, often stepping out with my heart and brain feeling like they’d explode. Each time, a bro would come over to pick me up: “come on, just 10 more, don’t quit”. On one hand, it was easily the best male-to-male interactions I had in years*. But on the other, I feel like if I don't rejoin at the moment of the invitation, I would "fail the group" or "disturb the culture" somehow, because of my physical condition and lifestyle (smoker for a decade). But I also understand I have to safeguard my own limits. It's difficult to articulate this, but in essence, two questions:

1. Are there anyone here that experienced something similar?

2. If so, how did you react or deal with it?

I feel fine now as I gained some clarity: I’m here to earn self-respect. I value sustainability over quick results. I don’t want to slide back into old habits (e.g., a 3,000 calories of junk in one sitting at midnight to numb myself). I’m going back in two days (for Muay Thai this time!) and plan to treat it as a once-a-week limit-push, not an all-day-everyday grind.

Thanks for reading this, and my very best to all of y'all.

*side story, the last non-professional male-to-male interaction I had (I work in a quite female-dominated field), is this British friend-of-a-friend guy asking me in a pub "Hey, how easy would you think it is for me to get a girlfriend in China?"... like, dude, I'm neither a woman nor techincally from mainland China, why ask me this? Wasn't a joke either, full-on serious as he was considering taking a job there.

I'm 25 years old and don't have a lotta friends and feel like i need more social life. Know ant way to meet people and maybe make more friends? Anywhere I go it feels like everyone is much older or much younger.

I was travelling on the 22nd from Adelaide to Melbourne when my car broke down on a main highway I had a truck right behind me … I went into shock 😮 … then the most kind man appeared and helped me for the entire time until my car was towed . I will never forget also how he helped keep my daughter safe also . I can’t describe the relief and how he also said some kind words that were life changing … I was so Greatful to this man , I one day hope he reads this ⭐️👋