I’m in my late 20s with two college degrees, a solid savings foundation, and I’m married. For years I worked weekends, so I rarely went out or socialized — that’s changing now. I’m trying to open up more, meet people, and enjoy life outside of just work and saving.

I’ve also been very focused on financial security, sometimes at the expense of experiences. Lately, I’ve realized I want more balance — to travel, meet new people, and “live a little” while I still have my youth and health.

To those in your 30s, 40s, or 50s: What’s something you wish you had done differently in your 20s?

Porn doesn’t give you anything real. It makes you feel tired, shy, and disconnected from who you truly are. You deserve better. When you quit, you’ll feel stronger, more confident, and more alive. It’s time to take your power back.

I went through a breakup in 2023, and here I am in 2025 still unpacking what it taught me. What makes me sad is that I didn’t really know my worth until he broke my heart. I didn’t have standards, I didn’t know what boundaries were, and I confused love with just holding on.

Now, looking back, I can see how much of myself I gave away without even realizing it. It hurts, but it’s also eye-opening. I feel like I’m starting from scratch, learning how to set standards, how to value myself, how to be clear about what I deserve.

I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been through something similar:

How did you start recognizing your own worth after heartbreak?

What helped you turn sadness into strength?

How do you keep your standards without feeling “too much” for others?

TIA

We’ve got 4 months left in this year. Whatever crap you, me, or anyone else dragged along until now leave it. Forget the mistakes, the drama, the self-sabotage. Just drop it.

From today, only one rule: no negative self-talk. Not even once. Every word you speak about yourself, every thought you entertain make it positive.

Use these next 4 months to level up. Doesn’t matter how small the progress is, as long as it’s progress. Focus on yourself. Build, don’t break.

lets gooo

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” - Mark Twain

hi. so lately i've realized that i simply will never find love or get a long term partner, and i'm struggling to come to terms with this. ive always fantasized about getting married, and it's motivated me so much through my life. but now that i know it won't happen, i feel like i don't have a reason to keep going or do things. i don't know what to think about when i fall asleep, i don't know how to get strength to get up in the morning, i don't know how to convince myself to study hard and graduate since there's no point in getting into adulthood anymore, since there's nothing that makes me happy other than being with someone else. i don't know how to fix this issue and i'm afraid that i won't be able to have a happy life because of it

So I eat a lot of fast food junk food and drink a lot of energy drinks and I want to switch my diet habits to loose weight. I’m already somewhat active with the gym etc but I need to focus on my food habits what have people done to switch from take outs to being motivated to cook

Might be a weird request, I struggle with anxiety and it's been impacting my relationship. I wrote a letter to my boyfriend and I'd love to have feedback on it if its appropriate

Since childhood, my family has had this belief that whenever we planned something in advance, it always failed. Because of that, my mother always told me: 'If you plan or think too much about something ahead of time, it won’t work out.'

I grew up hearing this and saw it happen often, so now I avoid making plans or visualizing my goals because I’m afraid they’ll fail.

The problem is, everywhere I read and hear that planning, visualizing, and setting goals is important for success. But my mind automatically resists because of what I was taught.

How can I break out of this mindset and start planning without fear?

I was lazy, consistently forgetful, easily distracted and content to accept ‘good enough’ vs. the best I could do - the best I could be - for far too long (and then made excuses for myself when it wasn’t even hitting that low bar.) After a year or so of gradual, meaningful improvement, I mentally review my ‘to do’ list and find myself in a great place - emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, every variety of -ly. I love my life, and that’s something I haven’t been able to say…maybe ever? before. Scrolling down the mental checklist, all my boxes are ticked. The laundry is done. The bills are paid, house is clean, maintenance scheduled ahead of time, finally proactive vs. reactive. The volunteer work I have done for years is so much more fulfilling now that it isn’t a victim of my scrambling to get things together last-minute. I am very lucky that my depression-induced introversion dissipated when the sadness did, so instead of anxiety over social events/dating/family parties/weddings, I feel excitement again.

The sum of these improvements triggered a paradigm shift in me; I went from surviving to living, and it is as exhilarating as it is frightening, because I don’t want to get complacent and risk losing all I have worked for. On the flip side of that coin, I don’t want to fall into the trap of ‘never good enough’.

This is what I’ve been working towards, so why does the lack of daunting tasks ahead make me feel a little off-kilter? I should be happy the worst is behind me, and I am, but I’m also unnerved by how little there is left to tackle.

I would be grateful for any advice or experiences you’d like to share, because I am a little wary of not successfully maintaining that balance.

I've posted on here a couple times recently about my depression, which I've been dealing with for decades. I'm currently in an episode of major depression, which has been one of the worst I've experienced.

A couple of my friends are somewhat aware of my current state and have been nice and have invited me over the past couple of days, but I just haven't felt up for it. I have a tremendous amount of anxiety spending time with others and it seems like an overwhelming chore.

I went to dinner with some friends Friday night and, it was kind of a good time, but it also somehow made me feel worse. It was like even more evidence of how shitty I feel - I can't even enjoy a dinner with friends, etc.

Would really appreciate advice or suggestions or just a kind word. Thank you.

EDIT: I am going to go. Thank you for your suggestions and support.

In my first year of college I became desperate to find a partner and a solid group of friends, both out of loneliness and because of the fact I found texts on my mom's phone where they were upset I haven't managed to find a girlfriend yet (That's a whole nother can of worms but anyway). I was desperate and upset i guess.

This lead to me coming onto women way too strong, asking them out on dates a few day or a week after meeting them. All of them said no, which is understandable due to my mental state, me being conventinoally unattractive, and general strongness at the time. The issues came after. Apart from one instance where we remained decent acquaintances (after I said a bad joke that made her uncomfy, for whiched I apologized profusely for) i ended up pushing everyone away by being creepy. One by borderline harassing this girl by texting her months after saying sorry and if she still wanted to be friends, and by getting mad at this other girl for "lying" to me about her rejecting me (At the time, I took her saying "I'm not ready for a boyfriend" literal and didn't understand it was a soft rejection. It took awhile to deprogram this because I always told myself "Oh but i didn't want to date her I was just mad about her 'lying'" but I realized that's arguably worse). I also ended up pushing away all my friends that I made at the time, by constantly complaining about my home life and my negative experiences dating, which understandably creeped alot of people out and led to them blocking me.

Going into my second semester, I lost alot of my friends, have been blocked by over 10 people (maybe more) and a complete dick and manipulator. I eventually realized how much of a piece of complete shit I was and started going into therapy and such. I also locked myself in my room all semester, one because I thought there was no point and that I would just creep people out, and two as some kind of punishment I guess.

Anyway, the end point of all of this is that I was a gigantic piece of shit that had problematic views on women, social relationships, family, and dating. I went to multiple therapists to reprogram myself and got on medication to deal with underlying issues of undiagnosed depression and ADHD. While I am in a better place, I still struggle with all of this. I really do want to get better but part of me feels like there is just no point because I'm always going to end up hurting people and being creepy to them. I always thought that like I've moved on but I think that has made me focus too much on the present because in my head I'm like "Oh I'm not like that anymore" so I don't self reflect.

I just feel like there really is no hope of me getting better and that I'll always end up being a creep and hurting people, and that i'll never be able to have a proper decent social life. I want to get better and move on but part of me just feels like I should just stay locked up in my room for myself and for others. I know this is all my fault, and I'd do anything to go back in time and change what I did and who I hurt. But I know I can't and I feel like there is simply nothing I can do.

First, you practice resisting real distractions while producing measurable results. When you do deep work, you fight actual emails, Slack notifications, and interesting tangents while trying to finish something that matters. Your brain starts associating sustained focus with the satisfaction of completed work rather than the empty calories of shallow tasks. And unlike other attention practices, you have concrete evidence of how well you focused: either you wrote the report or you didn't, either the code works or it doesn't.

Second, you develop meta-awareness of your own attention patterns. Every deep work session contains hundreds of micro-moments where you notice your mind drifting and bring it back. Through sheer repetition, you build the 'noticing muscle' that catches distraction earlier and earlier. You also learn your personal triggers. Maybe your focus drops at 2pm, or certain types of problems send you reaching for your phone. This self-knowledge lets you design countermeasures specific to your brain.

Third, you're training in the exact context where you likely need focus most. The skills transfer immediately because you're practicing with your actual tools, on your actual projects, under real deadlines. The stakes make you recruit more mental resources than you would in practice exercises. Your brain knows this matters.

Most people think they need to already have strong focus in order to do deep work. But they've got it wrong. Deep work trains you how to focus. You just gotta put in the effort (which is the real barrier to better attention for most people).

I am finding that each passing year my social abilities which were poor to begin with, are degrading quickly. I get way too in my head about a thousand different stupid things, and because I cant relax my brain just shuts down in social situations. After the intial hi how are you whats new question chain ends I simply cannot figure out how to contribute in the moment.

It has always been an annoyance but today I may have done something very rude at a family wedding where while the event was lovely I just fely really awkward as the night went on as when I was leaving I told my partner I was happy to be leaving but it was likely in earshot of the weddi g party. I didnt mean it in any degrogatory way towards the people or the event only that I was overwhelmed and glad to have respite from interaction. Regardless my partner rightfully pointed out that it was an extremely rude thing to say and I agree. I feel awful about it and feel frustrated that my struggle with socializing ultimately created this situation and desire to escape.

What are good ways to force yourself into some social interaction more often in a way that doesnt inconvienience the other party you're interacting with?

I'm someone who loves to create things, but more often then not, I end up regretting it. The problem seems to be rooted in the fact when I create things, I want to show them off to other people, but due to the fact that most of the things I create are digital and that I'm pretty introverted, the only real venue I have to share the things I create is the internet.

The issue is, I've found that lately the internet has become a much more unpleasant place to share the things I create. At best, I get ignored, and it feels like nobody even cared to look at the things I created. At worst, I'll dozens of people insulting and mocking me in the comments, with my ratio deep in the red, and positive reactions scarce or even entirely absent. It's gotten to the point lately that I either delete most of the things I post here, or give up half-way through writing something because I dont think it's worth it to share anything I'm excited about

I know I should just create for myself and all, but it feels isolating, like maybe the world doesn't even want me around.

I (15M) have ADHD and a little social anxiety. I don't have many friends and I'm trying to get out my comfort zone but it's hard man. I'm just trying to "be myself" so I can make connections with people and I know it's gonna be difficult but I have to do this

My issue is that I have a weird liking for violence, like I fantasise about beating people I don't like into the ground because it makes me feel... Strong? Intelligent? Idk. But I WANT someone to disrespect me so I can have an excuse to beat them up and I know thats not healthy but I don't know what to do with myself dude. Whenever I'm in a situation where I have to stand up for myself, my lip starts shaking I feel like I want to cry and I stutter over myself

I hate feeling like this, like an incompetent child. I want to be free of these violent thoughts, I tell myself this isn't who I am, I don't like being violent. It makes me so sad

I like talking to people, having fun and shit. I want to stand up for others. I hate the side of me that gets frustrated easily. I try take accountability and that when I mess up.

For example, one time this kid was playing on the same court as me, he was like 13, and he didn't even do nothing and I kicked his ball away. He chased my ball and kicked it and I just tackled him and roughed him up

I hated that so much I talked to my friend who was there and he made me realise I had to apologise. Im a fucking scumbag. POS, I tried to beat up a 13 year old. My God

Does anyone struggle with violent fantasies the way I do? I just want someone to relate to because I don't want this anger holding me back all my life

Sorry my post is ALLL over the place

Since I was young like 10 to 12, my parent was clear that if I became a Furry or any type of this non sense I would be kicked out until I change, this mindset kinda sticked to me and I cant get it off, I have trouble being inclusifs and accepting other people's identity, I was never told how or why people felt like they do, if yall jave anything to say im opened.

I was struggling a bit with people seeming to not really interact with me. I think it’s rejection sensitivity. It shouldn’t be that big of a deal and I should grow up but it hurts. It hurts showing yourself and people just don’t say anything especially the ones in your lives who aren’t strangers. It makes me feel like something might be wrong with me that no one is telling me.

Social media can take a toll on me because I want connections with people. I also want to use it as a platform to keep showing up, being seen and expressing my authentic self. Hopefully, inspire others as well. I won’t delete my posts. I don’t get much likes on my posts but I get so many views and it makes me question the content I post.

I will try not to care about views or likes. I will post for me. I have been posting for myself but need for external validation does creep in because of my deep insecurities I’m trying to face.

I feel beautiful, inside and out. I just love who I am and proud of myself for being more of my true self every day. I struggle with insecurities and used to think I was ugly but not really at all anymore. I did meditation techniques for months plus affirmations that helped me see my true beauty. Sometimes though, i question it like “Am I really all that and a bag of chips? Am I just delulu thinking I’m so pretty and radiant?”

Guys are weird and confusing with me. I get rejected but maybe it’s for the best and God’s plan to make room for those who will love me for me.

I’m kind, silly, sweet, creative, eccentric and loving. I love spreading love and kindness genuinely without anything in return.

I don’t feel tempted to delete a video anymore like I used to immediately because of social anxiety disorder. My recent video got so many views but only one like. At first, I was wondering if I did something wrong. I felt so pretty and gorgeous in the video and dressed up for myself as usual.

I am remembering a affirmation: “I am authentically me and I stand in my power”

I love that.

Y’all, i literally feel like a goddess today.

This may be a bit of a ramble, I'll try to sum it up in a tldr at the end.

This has been the hardest decade of my life. I'll be turning 31 at the end of the year, and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. Sure, I have a small hobby of drawing that I'm not too bad at, but I can only essentially xerox images, and I can't create anything from my imagination. There are other hobbies I'd like to take a swing at, but I support my family paycheck to paycheck and have nothing left to spend trying new things, really.

I know I need to change some things, but I don't even know where to start.

I have been with my partner for over 8 years now, we have a 7yo together and he has a 12yo who we've had full-time and I have mostly raised and claim as my own. I don't know how to guide my children into a position of success. They tend to disregard me as their father does. My partner really hates me, but he'll go back and forth between hating and adoring me, so I never know how to just up and leave. I've asked him if we can just sort something out and separate amicably, but he wants me to just get up and go if I'm gonna go, he doesn't want to plan it. He says I'm abandoning him, but he wants me to leave so desperately at the same time. I don't know what to do.

Especially because he is exploring other methods of supporting our family, through finding something he can do freely, on his own, without a boss, and I respect and admire that. We've done reselling, spicy content, he makes silver jewelry, and now he's learning animation and Blender. He's genuinely extremely smart and talented, and I absolutely love watching him explore and navigate. But he's doing this while I work at a local gas station chain, and I can't figure out how to do something similar I am passionate about. He devotes all of his time to figuring this out and working, but we are in the waiting period for something to really happen (no money is coming from it), and I feel it's taking a huge toll on me.

He tells me I need to learn about the things I find interesting and not just spend money so I can try something and dive into it because that's not how you find something worth while. But I don't even know how to do that more. I am passionate about art and creating, I want to explore that more. I want to really learn how to woodburn, I want to go back to creating with clay, learn how to cross stitch and crochet. But I can't even keep my kitchen clean between working all morning, then errands and cooking and childcare, I have no free time. I'm not sleeping enough, I don't exercise. I'm mostly locked up, and find myself seeking that little dopamine hit with scrolling socials or shorts when I get five minutes.

And my partner and I fight like crazy. If I had devoted that time to learning literally anything else, I could be doing amazing things at this point.

I did retail work til 20, then CNA work a couple years, then executive Assistant work. Then pregnant stay at home mom, then back to retail when our reselling flopped after a couple years. I just want to do something that feels like living.

I've lost so much weight this month (went from 126 to 115), I feel like I'm finally starting to deteriorate. I don't want to. But I don't know how to pull up my pants and get moving. I feel so so stuck. I don't know what to do. I have no one to talk to, family is estranged, my partner is hopeless in that regard. He gets mad at me if I try to open up about these feelings, telling me I've wasted so much time and will never even have a car in my own name, as everything we have is in his and we are not married.

I want to be a role model for my girls. I want to feel joy and peace in my life. I want to feel the purpose and drive. I don't know how to find it.

I do nothing other than work, clean, fight, and get discouraged when I'm not doing enough. I feel stuck, like I'm already in my grave. I don't know what I want or how to find it.

TLDR: I'm 30 and haven't set myself up for anything. How do I find a path and get moving this late in the game?

I have promised my partner again and again that I will improve certain aspects of our relationship. But just promising and telling yourself you will change isn’t enough to make a change. What has actually worked for you, over the long term, for things like changing your values, changing your desire, being more emotionally responsible and mature? What external things have you used to hold yourself accountable? I am very down about my own capacity to change and be a worthwhile person.

I used to be very social and trusting of others but had some negative experiences happen around the pandemic and now I feel unable to connect. I want to feel like I have friends again, but I'm afraid I'll either be rejected, used, or dominated. I am afraid to put myself out there. I don't know how to come back from it. Looking for advice and support.

Last week, I finally got my GED, after 9 years of dropping out of HS.

For years, I let it hang over me like a weight, but never moved a finger to do anything about it. Meanwhile, I’ve been working as a business admin for a big-name sporting goods company, making $120k a year, without a GED or high school diploma. No one ever checked. Everyone assumed I had the credentials. I did my work well and kept my head down. But deep down, I always felt like it could all fall apart any second. It all hanging upon an assumption that could easily be investigated. I cannot emphasize how much of an illegitimate fraud I felt discussing what major and fake classes I was in.

The money was good, but it never made up for the stability or confidence I really needed. I knew that had to come from somewhere real like school, expertise, and some direction.

Once I figured out what I really wanted to pursue, everything clicked. And boy did it take a while. I had myself figured out but couldn’t figure out what to do with myself. I just sat down and did the GED exams with barely any prep and passed. Now I’m knocking out my college prerequisites online, and I’m aiming to compete for a spot in a medical program alongside 4.0 students.

I finally finished something that was holding me back for years, something I made more daunting in my mind than it truly was in reality and it feels like a reset. I’m proud, motivated, and more grounded than I’ve felt in a long time.

Here’s to new beginnings. No one found out. Success in the dark is something new to me but I like it here.

i feel like a boring loser compared to my bestfriend, i already draw, but it feels like nothing because they are so good at it whilst i’m horrible.