Four years ago today, I chewed 160mg of oxy at 6 a.m.
It was the last time.

I had nothing. My fridge was empty. My teeth were cracked. My cards were maxed out, debt collectors chasing me, my family in the dark. I was white as a ghost, eating raw lasagna from the box and playing Red Dead all day. No job, no food, no hope. Just pills and more pills. I watched gore videos to feel something.

Then something happened I never expected.
Someone I barely knew drove hours to check in on me.
That small crack in the wall… became the turning point.

I lied, I manipulated, I detoxed cold turkey while hiding in someone else’s apartment with my bunny, Choupy, watching me suffer like a silent angel. I puked, shook, hallucinated. I didn’t eat for 9 days. I confessed everything to everyone I’d lied to. My father disowned me. My soul broke open.

And then…
Something shifted.

The sun hit different. The smells came back. I felt joy from eating a sandwich. I started walking again. Breathing again. Feeling like a human being again.

Today, I’m still rebuilding. But I write. I help others. I’ve published part one of my story.
Not to make money. Not for pity.
Just because someone out there might need to read it the way I needed to tell it.

If you’re reading this and you're in that hole — I swear to you, you can climb out. You won't believe how alive you can feel. You just need one spark.

If you ever want to talk, I’m here.
Much love.
— Kevin

I stretch for three minutes before touching my phone each morning and it sets the tone for the day. Looking for more ideas that take under five minutes but stack up over time

had crippling anxiety for years. couldnt focus, constantly overwhelmed, productivity was basically zero. tried everything - meditation, breathing exercises, anxiety apps, therapy, even medication. helped a bit but never solved it. then i learned something that completely flipped my understanding:

anxiety isnt the enemy. its terrible communication from your brain. heres what changed everything for me: our brain creates anxiety when it detects a threat to your identity or future self. but modern brains are terrible at identifying real vs imaginary threats.

examples of what triggers "threat" response: - starting important work → brain: "what if we fail and prove were incompetent?" - making decisions → brain: "what if we choose wrong and ruin everything?"
- being productive → brain: "what if we succeed and people expect this always?"

so your brain floods you with anxiety to "protect" you from these imaginary threats.

most advice tells you to calm the anxiety. but i did the opposite. instead of fighting anxiety, i started listening to what it was trying to protect me from. when anxiety hits during work, i ask: "what identity am i afraid this will threaten?" usually its something like: - "im afraid this project will prove im not as smart as people think" - "im afraid success will create expectations i cant meet" - "im afraid failure will confirm im worthless" once i identify the identity fear, the anxiety makes sense. then i can address the actual fear instead of just managing symptoms.

example: when i get anxious about starting work, instead of doing breathing exercises, i remind myself "im someone who learns from everything, success or failure."

anxiety disappears almost instantly because the identity threat is gone. now when anxiety shows up, i see it as useful information about what identity fear needs addressing. my productivity went through the roof because im not constantly fighting my own brain anymore. anyone else notice anxiety is more about identity protection than actual danger?

Note: (mobile again, sorry for any typos)

For most of my life, I wasted so much energy trying to be understood. Every conversation felt like a debate, every silence felt like rejection. But at some point, I realised trying to control how others see you is a full-time job that pays in anxiety.

Now? I just let them. Let them misread me. Let them doubt me. Let them talk.

The truth is, peace doesn’t come from explaining yourself better. It comes from finally being okay with not explaining at all.

Letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring it means you stop performing.

This shift didn’t just help my mindset… it unlocked everything: More energy. More clarity. More space to actually live.

Anyone else gone through this shift? What helped it click for you?

I used to exhaust myself trying to explain my intentions, justify my goals, or fix how people viewed me.

Until I came across something called the “Let Them” Theory and honestly, it changed how I move through life.

👉 Let them judge. 👉 Let them walk away. 👉 Let them doubt you.

Because peace doesn’t come from explaining. It comes from letting go.

You stop wasting energy trying to control the uncontrollable. You become more focused, calm, and clear.

Curious if anyone here has adopted something similar? Has “letting go” improved your peace or focus?

Not looking for motivation. I want strategy.

If you were stuck, depressed, bitter, lazy, addicted, or just off-track… what did you actually do to change your life?

Not “just be consistent” or “stay positive”—I mean the raw, uncomfortable, honest steps.

I’m 19. I’ve got time, but I’ve also got momentum right now and I don’t want to lose it. I’m trying to build habits, kill distractions, and become someone I respect.

What worked for you? What didn’t? What do you wish you stopped pretending was helping sooner?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Some say nothing, some say there’s something, some just avoid thinking about it altogether.

What do you personally believe? Not what you read, but what you feel deep inside.

Not looking for general advice. I mean the exact thought pattern or emotional reflex you had to burn to the ground before you could actually change your life. Maybe it was people-pleasing, defensiveness, blaming others, victim mindset, hyper-independence, self-sabotage What was the mental habit that was wired into you for survival but started killing your potential once you were old enough to make your own path

I came across a TikTok that got me thinking.

It said something like this: “It is only when you are in a healthy relationship that you truly realize the full extent of the impact of your traumas. When you encounter real love, you begin to feel every broken and wounded facet of yourself even more deeply.”

The comment section was filled with women, saying they’re self-sabotaging their relationship, that they are now the toxic ones and how they feel terrible for their partner because they can’t get out of this loop, the abused become the abuser.

Why do so many women feel like this? Has anyone experienced the same? What did you change or what helped you?

Edit: I know both men and women are experiencing this. In the comment section there were mostly women, which is why I phrased it like this.

I love going out with friends, but I hate how much it costs me the next day. It feels like no matter how fun the night is, I’m paying for it with a wasted Saturday lying in bed. I’ve tried pacing myself, drinking water, eating beforehand, all the usual tricks, but it never seems to completely stop the hangover. Sometimes it’s mild, but other times I feel like I just threw away 24 hours of my life. I’m not trying to quit drinking altogether, I just don’t want to keep losing entire days. Has anyone found something that actually helps them recover faster?

Small steps add up over time. Today, I’m focusing on drinking more water and staying off my phone during meals. Nothing big, just tiny adjustments. What’s one thing you’re doing today to get a little better?

Yes, scrolling can literally destroy your life, it's quite funny, no doubt, your life is destroyed because of debt, disability, or incurable illness, but you destroy it by scrolling, some people think that they are not addicts but there to check is that it is already too late, please weigh just since 2020 and now 2025 so 5 years would you be able to tell me 5 video reference which has given you bring something into your life? The answer is probably no, even if scrolling regularly means watching hundreds of thousands of videos over the past 5 years, videos that are in no way informative, well okay besides the fact that you've wasted time, it's like a video game or a series what is the problem would you tell me? The thing is that it screws up our brains and prevents us from thinking normally, YouTube and Netflix we notice a clear increase in the speed of watching videos on their platform, given that users' brains are muddled and can't stay calm in front of a scene at normal speed, not to mention the phenomenon of speed up sound, before it was something rare to access the sound even if there was some but now I have the impression that everything must be accelerated, type drunk his favorite in the search bar on tik tok the first thing you will see is your accelerated sound, his talking about interactions his social almost non-existent when I talk to a person who scrolls through life I can clearly see the difference, memory disorder, speech disorder given that it was isolated for so long so it directly impacts our society in a general way, you really think that it is a coincidence this epidemic of loneliness, people who we suddenly there are problems borderline, behavioral disorder, memory etc. No, this is all related and I really think that we have reached a point of no return and we are going to become such horrible parents that we will have problems relating to all of this.

Nothing special on my end, so maybe you could share some cool experience or reflection. I'd love to read and discuss it. Maybe writing about good things will make us feel better.

This is mostly about the simple or lowcost things that are within reach of practically everyone but have the potential for big impact

Mine is the ocean! And NYC I love that it allows my funk I go through sometimes to just flow away from me and u feel better!

If I could sit down with my younger self, I’d tell her: “You don’t have to have it all figured out yet. Life unfolds one step at a time.”

It makes me wonder—what’s the one piece of advice you wish your younger self knew?

I was the "chill" one. The "calm" one. The "mature" one who didn't raise his voice, who stayed silent, who forgave easily.

But the truth is...

I wasn’t peaceful.

I was paralyzed.

I had confused emotional suppression with emotional control.

Now I'm starting to see that reacting isn’t weakness—

it’s information.

And bottling everything up for the sake of “being strong” just made me invisible in my own life.

Still trying to unlearn that.

Has anyone else been through this?

*this might be really obvious but i am curious to see if other ppl feel this way and had a click*

I (26F) have been single for the past three years and have been entertaining casual sex situationships since.

Even though my end goal was to meet someone with whom I could build a real and serious relationship, in my head i was like "Ok, while i wait for this person to come into my life, I will just have fun".

But in the end, and after three years of doing this with different men, i realize it wasnpt fulfilling - i might have had an active and fun sex life but in the end i was craving for something deeper that these men couldn't give me.

So i decided that from now on i will only give my body to those who want to be in a serious relationship with me. For the first time in my life i will practice celibacy until this moment arrives. Any tips?

I don’t know. You’d think you’d be more sociable and around others. But I just see through the fake masks of ppl who haven’t worked themselves out fully and it can be quite mentally draining.

I love people but the majority of people are insecure and I find that my energy can help steer a room. I don’t always have that energy to give tho.

I think I’d be less of a lone wolf if I found other people who are also authentically confident. But they seem rare. For now I’m happy being a lone wolf.

Thoughts?

Could be something small, like how they handle stress or relationships...or bigger, whatever.

I'm wondering what patterns you’ve picked up on that others seem blind to...and what takeaways we might have from it to be better ourselves.

I'm a 27M who's autistic and still a virgin. I've just had trouble in terms of meeting women and pursuing a relationship and all of the benefits that come with it, including sex. Some have stated that this by definition makes me an "incel" which I certainly don't want to be associated with, as I don't hate women or hold them responsible for my dating failures. I know that's all on me, and me alone. It seems that a good majority of the incel community are virgin autistic men in their 20's, so obviously I'm a bit scared of being associated with that group. Am I by definition an incel, or not because I don't agree with their ideology or worldview?

Not everyone talks about it, but we’ve all hurt someone, sometimes without meaning to, sometimes while thinking we were right. Curious to hear the moments that made you realize you weren’t the hero after all.

Any recs welcome - self help, philosophy, stoicism, even fiction... anything.

Thanks in advance

1776 days on duolingo 342 days on elevate 597 days on insight timer

Enough is enough, they are controlling me. It's time to let them go.

What are you doing to take back control of your life?

So, I had my therapy session yesterday, and I accidentally went on a five-minute rant about how my cat seems to judge me for not having my life together. My therapist just nodded, like, "Yep, totally normal." But now I'm wondering if anyone else has had those "Did I really just say that?" moments.

I mean, I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who spills some crazy stuff in the therapist's chair, right? Whether it's about your pets, that weird thing you did in high school, or an existential crisis during a Zoom call, let’s hear it!

What’s the most awkward or funny thing you’ve shared during a session? I could use some laughs (and maybe some solidarity) over here!