r/Firefighting • u/ItsBrittanyBeach88 • Feb 12 '25

Ask A Firefighter Firefighter Boyfriend has drinking problem

Hi everyone. My boyfriend who is a fire fighter has a really bad drinking problem to the point he gets blackout drunk and is verbally abusive. He drinks and drives during the day on the days he has off. I’m concerned he can’t handle the stress of the job and uses alcohol as a coping method. I’ve talked with his exes and he has had these same issues for years… probably 6 years at least. he is already on “last chance agreement” and is randomly drug tested. He always passes bc he doesn’t drink before his shift or during. But on his days off he is drunk by 3pm.

What can I do to get him help before he gets fired, gets a DUI or hurts someone? Can I anonymously send an email to his union? I just want him to get help. I know he is suffering from PTSD and other mental health issues. Any advice about resources would be appreciated

Update: Thank you for all the great advice (and the insults!! Made me laugh and I have writing material now. Looking at you Meat Puppet.) I’ve contacted his mom and brother and told them everything. I relayed the resources/info to them and I’m walking away forever. His brother is a firefighter so hopefully he will talk some sense into him. It’s their responsibility now. Not mine. Peace out ✌🏻

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u/ItsBrittanyBeach88 Feb 12 '25 edited Feb 12 '25

Whatever you say! Plot twist this is the first firefighter boyfriend I’ve ever had and the last… your are right about that one. You don’t know me stop claiming you do. He needs a wake up call and I’m not outting him. This shit is anonymous and he doesn’t read. He literally said he has never read a book and boosted about it. One of the reasons I started this thread is start a conversation about this subject and see your reactions. A lot of you guys can’t emotionally connect to their women (just like my guy) and use substances to cope with your anger and insecurities. Good luck with women who bow down to you, stroking your fragile ego.

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '25

Might not know you personally but your type are a dime a dozen. You didn’t come here to start a conversation, you came here to whinge about your Ex and get some sympathy for your one-sided sob story. The fact that you think the women we value are the ones who “bow down and stroke our egos” is all the evidence I need to know that you’re either a journalist or a simpleton (or both) because had you met ONE of our wives you’d have held that waggling tongue or yours. Our wives, girlfriends, sisters, daughters, and fellow female firefighters are some of the toughest, most beautiful, most resilient, most badass women you could ever hope to meet. If you’re looking for someone angry and insecure, go date a cop. Now SHOO 😂

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u/ItsBrittanyBeach88 Feb 12 '25

Look at you stroking your own ego 😂😂😂 You are the one putting down women. I’m speaking to whom you seek in a partner… not a generalization of fire wives. Now shoo 😅 That’s exactly how you talk to women and it shows. Your poor wife. Show her this post and see if anything sounds familiar to her. I’m sure she will see I’m just trying to help out a guy that is struggling with these issues. If I put down that he was just my friend, I’m sure you wouldn’t have started all this shit. You wanted an excuse to belittle and show animosity. As I said before I was expecting someone like you to show your bigoted words and you did not disappoint. This is my sub fuck off

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '25

Not putting down women, just your type. And miss me with that bigot-finger, truth is I took you seriously earlier before I saw how you were responding to anybody who remotely suggested that maybe YOU were the problem. Matter of fact I actually wrote something pretty nice and supportive and then deleted it when you started showing your true colors. I’m pretty damn disappointed in you too Brittney, especially since you came here acting like you needed advice for a current dilemma. Unlike your ex, I know how to read.

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u/ItsBrittanyBeach88 Feb 14 '25

I found something that might be helpful for you. Good luck sweetie with your healing journey. I think you really need it:

https://profoundtreatment.com/resources/blog/why-are-alcoholics-so-mean-to-the-ones-they-love/

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u/[deleted] Feb 16 '25

Dude you broke up with this guy over three months ago and you’re already dating guys who “treats you like a queen.” What’s making you so thirsty for attention on this sub?

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u/ItsBrittanyBeach88 Feb 16 '25

Not thirsty. It’s takes two seconds to type shit out. You started being mean to someone who is struggling with abusive partner. You are just continuing the abuse with your words. Great job there! Keep supporting abusive behavior I see you

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u/[deleted] Feb 16 '25

Calling you out for lying isn’t abusive, Brittney.

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u/ItsBrittanyBeach88 Feb 24 '25 edited Feb 24 '25

Who are you!? I’m not lying. He is getting help and that’s all that matters. He said to leave this post up too. He knows he fucked up. My name is not Brittnay meat head

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u/ItsBrittanyBeach88 Feb 12 '25

Why don’t you call my ex and tell him what a great guy he is. I’m sure you will bond over having emotional abusive mothers. Good luck