I resigned from a volly department

[u/wolfgang9996]

After much deliberation I decided to resign from a volunteer department in my town. Though I don't regret it, I write with a heavy heart. I tried to juggle my full time job, renovating my entire kitchen to the studs while my wife was pregnant (we had a fixer upper that had a mouse infested kitchen that needed a full gut), and do volly.

I made the few calls and the meetings I could, I was only on the department over a year or so. I took fire 1 while I was in between jobs because I got fired right before my son was born. Between all this stress I cracked during the training when we navigated the rooms blindfolded with full kit on. I just couldn't do it to myself anymore, you can't measure adrenaline or cortisol but mine must've been off the charts, and I just told the trainer I tapped out. All the while nursing a neck injury I've had since I was 18 from being rear ended and getting whiplash. Must've been week 4 or 5 of fire 1.

I guess I am just writing this to just state my piece, because I just told my captain I couldn't complete the class and that it was pretty much the end of the road for me as this was going to be my last push while I was unemployed. Right around that time I got a very good job offer about 45 minutes away, eating up even more time in a commute (not to mention a good pay increase and overall better job than the one I got fired from). Maybe this is the universe nudging me where I need to go. I have recurring dreams about the department, the last one a fireman died and the other guys on the department told me to not even bother going to the funeral because I don't care.

It's been heavy for me and objectively I am a bit of a late starter (31 now) and already have existing neck/back injuries. It just sucks to feel like the dream is dead...my dad was career so I feel like I have some of the "mental" game just from my upbringing...but my body just won't carry the load. It's the story of my life. Personality wise I have always fit in with ex military, mechanics, bikers you name it but when the rubber hit the road with this experiment I just cracked...just telling you all not to garner sympathy but just a guy who's telling his truth.

the end

[u/yungingr]

Just like everything else in the fire service related to department operations.... that depends.

I know of volunteer departments in my area that still have waiting lists. In fact, the guy sitting 20 feet behind my desk right now at our regular job had to wait almost a year for a spot to open up - on a department in a town of 600.

[u/nicklor → u/yungingr]

Where is that lol I'm in Jersey and every voli department that doesn't lead to a paid job is pretty weak

[u/yungingr → u/nicklor]

Northwest Iowa. The closest fully career department to me is 45 miles to the east. Department 30 miles north has two paid positions - the chief and one FF that does the day to day maintenance.

My county is just a little shy of 600 square miles, and there's 9 departments (all fully volunteer) covering it - three of which are right on or very near the county line, to where half of their district is in the neighboring county. Just isn't the population or tax base anywhere what it would take to support a paid department.

[u/nicklor → u/yungingr]

Yeah that's a pretty crazy response area size. Hopefully the volunteer situation lasts. People talk about how 30 years ago we were waitlisted also in my volunteer department. Now we are going on fumes with 2 full time paid FFs.

[u/yungingr → u/nicklor]

Our district is about 90 sq miles of that - from our station to the furthest point is a solid 15 minute drive. Incidentally, I've got a friend that lives in that area, and I've told him, "if you think you need us, you should have called 5 min ago"

Luckily, most of the departments around are still running rosters in the 20-25 range. We have automatic mutual aid set up for any structure fire, and usually by the time it's over have at least one more department on scene.