r/Firefighting • u/wolfgang9996 • Mar 27 '25
Volunteer / Combination / Paid on Call I resigned from a volly department
After much deliberation I decided to resign from a volunteer department in my town. Though I don't regret it, I write with a heavy heart. I tried to juggle my full time job, renovating my entire kitchen to the studs while my wife was pregnant (we had a fixer upper that had a mouse infested kitchen that needed a full gut), and do volly.
I made the few calls and the meetings I could, I was only on the department over a year or so. I took fire 1 while I was in between jobs because I got fired right before my son was born. Between all this stress I cracked during the training when we navigated the rooms blindfolded with full kit on. I just couldn't do it to myself anymore, you can't measure adrenaline or cortisol but mine must've been off the charts, and I just told the trainer I tapped out. All the while nursing a neck injury I've had since I was 18 from being rear ended and getting whiplash. Must've been week 4 or 5 of fire 1.
I guess I am just writing this to just state my piece, because I just told my captain I couldn't complete the class and that it was pretty much the end of the road for me as this was going to be my last push while I was unemployed. Right around that time I got a very good job offer about 45 minutes away, eating up even more time in a commute (not to mention a good pay increase and overall better job than the one I got fired from). Maybe this is the universe nudging me where I need to go. I have recurring dreams about the department, the last one a fireman died and the other guys on the department told me to not even bother going to the funeral because I don't care.
It's been heavy for me and objectively I am a bit of a late starter (31 now) and already have existing neck/back injuries. It just sucks to feel like the dream is dead...my dad was career so I feel like I have some of the "mental" game just from my upbringing...but my body just won't carry the load. It's the story of my life. Personality wise I have always fit in with ex military, mechanics, bikers you name it but when the rubber hit the road with this experiment I just cracked...just telling you all not to garner sympathy but just a guy who's telling his truth.
the end
1
u/wolfgang9996 Mar 28 '25
Side note there was a usually lingering “this is too much work to not get paid” in the back of my mind every time a meeting could’ve been an hour and turned out to be 3 hrs. I appreciate the comments guys, one of the guys in the class who failed before me was wildland- might be more my thing if anything.
Definitely came away with some respect for the job but how the department was run made me think a lot of outmoded ways of doing things was just masked as “tradition” even if it didn’t really work.
They’d spend weeks planning a pancake breakfast fundraiser and expect everyone to attend and then make like $4000. I was like for fucks sake not only are we working for free we have to raise our own money to work for free.