Northern Canada Wildland Volunteer experience/mental health

[u/atim-omii]

Hello, I am 23m and I volunteered earlier this summer for my community/reserve during the big fire up here in northern Saskatchewan. I worked 14-18 hour shifts trying to keep the fire at bay with my older cousins,uncles and friends . We ended up losing about 11 houses and a bunch of pets. This was my first time ever doing any sort of firefighting and I’ve still not gotten used to the burnt areas and the burnt foundations where houses used to be. I have bad dreams about my house being on fire and me waking up to see the ceiling in flames and smoke. These scare me and they won’t go away. I cried a lot when we lost the houses and particularly when I lost the tracks of a black bear cub that I saw was burnt up but still limping fast enough to out pace me I dream about him too. I wanted to put him out of his misery with respect, game wardens found him laying dead a couple km south of the place I last saw him.

Idk man I guess I needed to tell someone about these bad memories. Maybe letting it out somewhere will help me sleep better ? I also dream of that fucking 95km/hr wind turning the fire into tornadoes. Maybe I’m weak minded but this shit is hard.

Thank you to all firefighters, you’re my heroes.

[u/Beneficial_Jaguar_15]

Be proud of what you saved. You’re not superhero’s. If your crew wasn’t out there, it would’ve been worse. We can’t save them all brother.