Need your opinions/advice

[u/Glum_Competition4827]

I am a 23f who got her Emt license in 2021. Worked for a fire department that did 48/96, and also worked as an ER Tech in a level 1. I struggled a lot while working for the fire department. Not sleeping, the male dominated comradery (they weren’t the warmest/ most welcoming bunch to a 20 year old girl.) The more intense calls were difficult for me to process, I’m naturally sensitive and empathetic. I’d also like to add that I was in the room when my mom was getting coded and then died when I was 11, so the triggers were real. I didn’t like being the bitch, especially doing things for grown men (ie coffee making, waxing the engine, etc) it didn’t sit right with me. However my dream from a young young age was to be a firefighter. I am extremely fit and determined. I’ve ran marathons, have a lot of muscle mass and low body fat, and am hungry as fuck for meaning and a good ass challenge. I’d also like to add for context that ems came easily to me. I loved learning it and I developed a real passion for the work. I was often told by peers that I did well and stayed extremely collected during chaos. I stopped working for the FD because it was so hard on me mentally. Those 48s would often turn into 72s, no sleep. Rough. I then worked in the ER and I learned so much and overall enjoyed it, but was still unsure if emergency med was for me given my sensitive nature and the trigger response from my nervous system given what I saw with my own mom/ life. Time has passed and I’ve been doing service industry things and finishing a psych degree to have in my back pocket and a long term plan of being a therapist. However, I still have a fire and a hunger to finish what I started and become a FF/PM. It’s something that constantly eats at me. The bad assery, the commitment to service, the purpose and meaning the job provides. It calls me but I already have some proof that it goes against my personality? I need yalls opinions. Ty.

[u/Bmac_13]

I cant speak to the being a female aspect but your not being the bitch. Its paying your dues. I've done it twice now. Do the new person shit, make the coffee unload the dishwasher start the dishwasher at night etc, some of it is about showing that your reliable. Where the line is, is picking up after people. We're all grown. Im not washing your plate bc you left it on the table. If you have the drive then go for it. You are entering a male dominated field but that doesent mean you can't be successful.

[u/remlik → u/Bmac_13]

Bullshit. Lead by doing. Don’t force the new person to be everyone’s slave. This mentality needs to DIE in the fire service. I’m a captain and clean more bathrooms than my crew because that way when another shift complains (wrongly) that it wasn’t cleaned I can say I did it myself. I make the coffee the way I like it. Anyone still punishing the newbie with chores other than training evolutions is fucking stupid. Grow up you god damned children.

[u/Bmac_13 → u/remlik]

Im not completely disagreeing with you, ive had it both ways in two different depts. One dept i had to fight my captain over a broom or mop, and everyone cleaned together. The one im currently in it more or less won't get done if the "new" ppl there dont do it. There's alot of complancey there.

[u/remlik → u/Bmac_13]

I’m sorry that you’re dealing with that. It’s a whole other kettle of fish though. Fixing that issue involves a complete chiefectomy. You will only win disfavor by making the lazy officer look bad.

[u/Bmac_13 → u/remlik]

Its fine I guess. Im currently looking for a new dept. Been here for awhile, this dept isn't for me. I've grown as much as I think i can here, it showed me how not to lead.

[u/mad-i-moody]

I mean It’s not “being the bitch” it’s being new and a probie. Both the newer guys and girls do the chores. That’s how it is.

I’d say find a different department with better culture and go see a therapist that has experience with working with people in EMS.

[u/greenmanbad]

So making coffee and waxing trucks makes you a bitch, I guess I was one for 33 years. How about trying being humble and part of the team.

[u/YaBoiOverHere]

It seems like you got both some positive and some negative predispositions to the fire service. Without knowing you personally, I’d say maybe give it another shot with a different department. A change of scenery, a few years of growth and maturity, and a different culture might make for a different experience. If it’s something you enjoy and are good at, it’s worth pursuing. I will say, pretty much every fire department is going to expect the less senior people to be the first to step up to handle things like making coffee and waxing the engine. However, in a good department you’ll still be part of the team, and you won’t be polishing tools in the bay alone while the rest of the crew catches up on their soap operas. You’re a rookie, not a janitor and personal assistant.

[u/Strict-Canary-4175]

I’ll be very honest, and I mean this in a kind way.

This may not be the job for you.

[u/light_sweet_crude]

The lack of sleep, the gender breakdown, the new-guy responsibilities (when you're new, anyway) are not going away. Only you can say whether you've built up the resilience and the emotional skillset to weather the upsetting calls. Idk what your current living/financial situation is, but I wonder if going to paramedic school is an option? It would be a good way to dip your toe back in on something you already know you're good at (EMS), and riding with a fire department for clinical hours would let you get a preview of how well firehouse life suits you with a little more life experience under your belt.

You could always move forward with becoming a therapist instead – but if you're one of those people who's always going to wonder if you should've given this dream another try, I think you may find yourself at this crossroads again sooner or later, and changing career paths gets to be more work the older you get. I think throwing one more year at it now and going to PM school may give you your answer while you're still young, which strikes me as a good investment even if at the end of it you decide the fire service isn't for you.

[u/Brady12ToMoss81]

From what im gathering this job isn't for you. Having difficulty processing certain calls/not wanting to do normal newbie duties etc etc. I can probably tell why your crew wasn't so quick to bring you into their circle. You haven't earned shit yet. Nobody cares if you run marathons and are incredibly fit. Its firefighting not bodybuilding. I've met plenty of people in that type of shape that suck at the job.

[u/reckless_wiggler]

I say this as a 25F firefighter, it’s time to find a new dream. This isn’t your calling.

[u/Vprbite]

Waxing the engine isn't "being the bitch." And im worried you think it is.

You come off as entitled. Sorry, but that's how your post reads.

You wax the engine to show you give a fuck. Ive found older people will help the probies, just do it happily and to the best of your ability, and people will want to be around you. Show you are eager to learn and listen, and people will want to teach. Not everybody. But in general, they want to know they can count on you when it's a shitty day.

[u/mylogicistoomuchforu]

What area of country? Currently run a dept on 48/96 - 1 station house and none of the 'you're the bitch' behavior.

[u/Strict-Canary-4175 → u/[deleted]]

OP, don’t message this guy.

[u/DistributionInitial5 → u/Strict-Canary-4175]

I second this, check out the other posts this guy has commented on. Heavy predator vibes.

[u/EverSeeAShitterFly → u/DistributionInitial5]

I regret reading that guy’s comment history.

[u/Direct-Training9217 → u/Strict-Canary-4175]

yeah this guy is a freak

[u/morrowind_angler → u/Direct-Training9217]

Dude WTF🤣🤣, whoever this guy is he is definitely a freak.