Need your opinions/advice

[u/Glum_Competition4827]

I am a 23f who got her Emt license in 2021. Worked for a fire department that did 48/96, and also worked as an ER Tech in a level 1. I struggled a lot while working for the fire department. Not sleeping, the male dominated comradery (they weren’t the warmest/ most welcoming bunch to a 20 year old girl.) The more intense calls were difficult for me to process, I’m naturally sensitive and empathetic. I’d also like to add that I was in the room when my mom was getting coded and then died when I was 11, so the triggers were real. I didn’t like being the bitch, especially doing things for grown men (ie coffee making, waxing the engine, etc) it didn’t sit right with me. However my dream from a young young age was to be a firefighter. I am extremely fit and determined. I’ve ran marathons, have a lot of muscle mass and low body fat, and am hungry as fuck for meaning and a good ass challenge. I’d also like to add for context that ems came easily to me. I loved learning it and I developed a real passion for the work. I was often told by peers that I did well and stayed extremely collected during chaos. I stopped working for the FD because it was so hard on me mentally. Those 48s would often turn into 72s, no sleep. Rough. I then worked in the ER and I learned so much and overall enjoyed it, but was still unsure if emergency med was for me given my sensitive nature and the trigger response from my nervous system given what I saw with my own mom/ life. Time has passed and I’ve been doing service industry things and finishing a psych degree to have in my back pocket and a long term plan of being a therapist. However, I still have a fire and a hunger to finish what I started and become a FF/PM. It’s something that constantly eats at me. The bad assery, the commitment to service, the purpose and meaning the job provides. It calls me but I already have some proof that it goes against my personality? I need yalls opinions. Ty.

[u/YaBoiOverHere]

It seems like you got both some positive and some negative predispositions to the fire service. Without knowing you personally, I’d say maybe give it another shot with a different department. A change of scenery, a few years of growth and maturity, and a different culture might make for a different experience. If it’s something you enjoy and are good at, it’s worth pursuing. I will say, pretty much every fire department is going to expect the less senior people to be the first to step up to handle things like making coffee and waxing the engine. However, in a good department you’ll still be part of the team, and you won’t be polishing tools in the bay alone while the rest of the crew catches up on their soap operas. You’re a rookie, not a janitor and personal assistant.