r/FirstResponderCringe • u/dwaynetheaaakjohnson • 2d ago
Sheepdoge Definitely not trying to look like a cop
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u/JustIn_HerButt 2d ago
"what do you do for a living?"
"You know that $300M yacht at the marina?"
"Yeah?"
"I am a security guard within its vicinity"
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u/NoSuddenMoves 2d ago
"You wouldn't believe how many people break in to get a close look!"
"Yeah, how many?"
"Ummm, zero..."
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u/Sit_back_and_panic 2d ago
Of course there’s the obligatory super cringe punisher tattoo.
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u/Human_After 2d ago
Holy fucking dog paw punisher
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u/Sierra3131 2d ago
Pawnisher
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u/NotAnActualPers0n 23h ago
Spinoff crossover, set in the Paw Patrol universe; critics loved it but audiences found it too violent for young kids. Eventually found a home on South Korean TV.
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u/ChiSmallBears 2d ago
Can't let those poors get close to the rich people on the yacht!
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u/PrinceofSpace1 2d ago
Rich people paying a poor to keep other poors away from their rich people shit.
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u/Stacksmchenry 2d ago
I was on that yacht too, cleaning the toilets. As I approached the Marina I heard the hammer on his gun click and turned around. I felt the red dot hover on my forehead. "you have entered a restricted public place, put your hands where I can see them". I complied, and produced documentation (a text message from the toilet cleaning agency I work for) and submitted to an ocular pat down. After signing some documents affirming I am not a terrorist or thief and swearing upon a tactical Bible I was escorted to the restroom so I could get some poo off some bowls.
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u/Whole_Sweet_Gherkins 2d ago
I see there are no physical requirements for this particular security job
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2d ago
[deleted]
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u/xzElmozx 2d ago
This reads like one of those t-shirts that have a paragraph of writing with weird font and graphics on it
never judge a book by its cover
my arms MAY be SKINNY
BUT
I could arm wrestle
Stone Cold Steve Austin
…
and WIN
☠️☠️☠️
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u/Whole_Sweet_Gherkins 2d ago
nice! so all you would have to do is challenge an unruly yacht party guest to an arm wrestling match
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u/DiscoRichard 2d ago
Holy fuck, I am so excited this dude finally made it to this group. Trying to verify that it is in fact the person I think it is. If so, there is so much more you need to see.
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u/dwaynetheaaakjohnson 2d ago
His legal name is literally on there
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u/DiscoRichard 2d ago
Yup, I know that. I don’t know him by name, I know him by the interactions I’ve had involving other people. The people I reached out to in order to confirm.
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u/DiscoRichard 2d ago
Annnnnnd it’s him. Amazing.
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u/dwaynetheaaakjohnson 2d ago
Drop some alleged stories
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u/DiscoRichard 2d ago
He’s been spoken to by the police about his uniform looking too similar to theirs. Was also told his dog is not actually trained. Only by himself. Massive liability. He was also walking around wearing military rank on his collar once. As a veteran myself, I informed him that wouldn’t go over well with some people.
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u/boobbryar 1d ago
he should get his dog taken away but contuine to steal valor and dress like pigs
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u/DiscoRichard 2d ago
There is also barber and razor wire fence around that dock. I don’t believe that many people were sneaking in to see a boat that was everywhere on the internet, but I obviously don’t know that for fact.
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u/No_Spinach9820 2d ago
Radioactive dog eyes wtf 😳
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u/intergalactic-Weapon 2d ago
Dun dun dun dun dun dun goosebumps
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u/Rude_Ad2362 2d ago
I miss the old goosebumps, it was genuinely so good(looking back it all looks terrible but it’s the nostalgia that keeps me going back to watch.
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u/propyro85 Boo Boo Bus Driver 2d ago edited 2d ago
There was a good video on YouTube about what happened to Goosebumps. Pretty interesting, and no surprise they kinda just faded away in the early 2000's.
Edit: found it https://youtu.be/kFtaQlJKk8Y?si=RDdf2ZuD7WkIuQS5
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u/LesserKnownFoes 2d ago
…okay but why does security need a k9? What are they gonna do, bite a trespasser?
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u/Delicious-Ad-7107 2d ago
Alert you to threats and help neutralize them
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u/Old_Afternoon6587 Junior/Cadet 2d ago
With pepper spray that doesn’t work and very delightful commands!
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u/aron2295 2d ago
TBH, it looks like that’s his personal pet and he just brought the dog “to work” for photos when he was off the clock.
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u/FriedRiceBurrito 2d ago
A huge part of security is deterrence. Most people don't want to fuck with big dogs.
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u/The_Nepenthe 2d ago
He's built like a pencil, what is he going to do without that dog to deter anyone.
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u/PiesAndPot 2d ago
Yeah security should now be allowed to wear dark colored uniforms or have anything resembling a le parch or badge. Just dumb. Why would you want someone to mistake you for a cop with everything going on in the world
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u/latindolezal 2d ago
Look at those fucking forearms 💀
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u/Ashamed-Country3909 2d ago
The tattoo of the punisher with dog pri is above the head caught my eye
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u/blacksuitandglasses 2d ago
At least he's not obese like a huge chunk of Americans.
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u/HA1LHYDRA 2d ago
He's skinny fat, which is arguably worse, and his ears are wider than his shoulders, lol
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u/blacksuitandglasses 2d ago
He's not skinny fat. You're confusing the vest for a belly. His neck and buccal fat are low. He's just skinny.
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u/Jealous_Olive94 2d ago
Is pistol holster is on backwards lmao it’s not a sword you don’t have it on the opposite hip to the hand you pull with , so this man is going to drop his gun and wen he really needs it and get killed over his own stupidity
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u/CardMechanic 2d ago
I can’t help but think the name Polaris is designed to fool non-English speaking people.
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u/PineSoul603 2d ago
If this is the child I'm thinking of from my home state, he was DQ'd on his background check when he tried to become a cop. Glad to see he took that well and moved on.
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u/planetary_beats 2d ago
What kind of training do these guys get with their K9’s? Feels like having poorly trained, wanna be cops with big ass German Shepards is not the greatest idea lol.
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u/Heavy_Consequence441 2d ago
His job is to intimidate and deter so he's doing just fine
Also funny how dog looks mean in pic 1 but cute in pic 2
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u/YamsAtTheDisco 2d ago
Feel bad for the dog. One wrong move by this guy who definitely looks eager to do something with the non existent power he has and let his dog go at someone who didnt do anything will end poorly.
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u/TheNorsemen777 2d ago
stopped people trying to get a closer look
Woahh thank god he was on duty!
Someone might have gotten a close up picture of the yacht!!!!
That would have been a national security disaster!!
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u/moneyshot008 2d ago
I have a coworker that was a security guard but calls himself a law enforcement officer when people are around. Fucking creep.
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u/waroftheworlds2008 2d ago
Ooo... it takes balls to have an assult dog as a security guard. It'll get shot when it bites someone.
And even if it doesn't bite, its definitely getting kicked.
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u/SecretCellist9470 2d ago
This is the type of dude that is clawing his way to the front to sign up for ice.
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u/CakedayisJune9th 2d ago
I mean, let’s be real, that is a flex, but NOT that kind of flex. It’s nice to have on the resume, nice to tell people, but damn.. this is cringe as fuck when you think they picked you because of skills. You’re the cheapest
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u/boobbryar 1d ago
nice to tell fucking who? "yeah i was a body guard for some rich guys boat, basically i walked around looking like a cop with my dog and got paid minimum wage"
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u/boobbryar 1d ago
genuinely what does the dog paw punisher tattoo mean. every furry ive met ever has hated cops so i doubt its that
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u/YokedLlama 1d ago
Strange. Did they not allow him on the actual boat to take just one single photo? I bet he asked.
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u/itscapybaratime 17h ago
While the get-up is certainly cringe, genuinely a wild amount of people just waltz onto boats, as if it's somehow better than walking into a random person's house.
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u/bojangles006 2d ago
When people realize most security agencies have armed security with issued body armor that displays the company name, the agent's name, and a badge with the company logo.....
This is a standard security uniform, especially when they're guarding a 300m dollar yacht. That's more than all of our assets in this thread combined.
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u/AwkwardLight1934 2d ago
Idk dawgs not being cringe. Just chilling with his dog and reminiscing
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u/dwaynetheaaakjohnson 2d ago
I was originally with you on that but then I saw the Punisher paw tattoo
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u/Unbreakable_5 2d ago
In my opinion you guys are the cringe. All he did was post a picture. You guys are the ones dickeating and dickriding. Get off yall high horse man just because you can arrest someone 😂
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u/boobbryar 1d ago
dickriding who?
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u/Unbreakable_5 1d ago
And the fact that nobody checked me about it and all they did was down vote speaks volumes. People can’t accept the truth. I respect what yall do but yall job is not that deep either that yall gotta have a subreddit to shit on other people. Save lives, keep us safe.
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u/boobbryar 1d ago
glad my walmart cashier job keeping u safe
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u/Unbreakable_5 1d ago
So you’re just dickriding and dickeating and you don’t even have a First responder job
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u/boobbryar 1d ago
im literally just here to talk shit on pigs and people who wish they werw pigs lmfao whats ur point
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u/Unbreakable_5 1d ago
Definition of dickeating my man.
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u/boobbryar 1d ago
do u think "dickriding" and "dickeating" mean "talking shit"? genuinely what do u think these words mean lmfao
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u/Unbreakable_5 1d ago
Dickriding anything or anyone yall don’t like. If yall really think less of security guards or any first responder that does some “cringey” shii then why say anything at all? Yall just wanna be fake anonymous bullies. 💯
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u/boobbryar 1d ago
dickriding a concept? pretentious ass way to use dickriding considering ur basically moaning on his shit rn
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u/Unbreakable_5 1d ago
Moaning on who’s? I don’t know the guy in the photo nor have I said anything about him particularly. I’m referring to your whole subreddit. How is it a concept when it exist and I’m literally typing in it???
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u/boobbryar 1d ago
u dont know him yet ur still throwing it back for the pig cosplayer
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u/Unbreakable_5 1d ago
Notice how you call him a cosplayer and bro just minding his business doing his job 😭. So worried about the next man or woman yall make fun of them? 😂 shit lame
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u/boobbryar 1d ago
y r u so hurt? do u cosplay cops and defend rich guys coke boats with ur untrained dog or something on the side?
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u/Unbreakable_5 1d ago
I’m not hurt. I’m just calling out a whole bunch of people who think they are above other people for the most frivolous things. When all they could do is just simply… yk… not say a thing and let these people be delusional
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u/boobbryar 1d ago
so u dont consider urself better then cop cosplayers who protect rich guy boats with their untrained dogs?
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u/boobbryar 1d ago
"if yall ready think less of them, why do u talk shit on them 💯"
looks like someones a harvard graduate, congrats!
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u/Unbreakable_5 1d ago
If you think less of someone shouldn’t you just keep it pushing because yk you’re better than them? Insecure to talk shit about someone yk you’re better than.
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u/Unbreakable_5 1d ago
The World Champions wouldn’t talk shit to the worst team in the league my guy.
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u/XBOX_COINTELPRO 2d ago
Class aspects and the dumb tattoo asides this isn’t really anything to write home about. Uniform is pretty standard, he’s not pretending to be a first responder. He just posted a thing about something he thought was interesting at work
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u/boobbryar 1d ago
i hope he gets pushed off the dock everyday and gets his dog taken away from him forever
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u/Any_Strain7020 2d ago
Being the minimum wage worker protecting a $300M asset isn't the flex you think it is.