r/FirstResponderCringe 1d ago

This dude deserves to be on blast

Usually I do my best to maintain the privacy of those that I post. This dude just seems like a jackass tbh, so I'm not worried about it.

1.2k Upvotes

285 comments sorted by

365

u/Duke_Built 1d ago

Lost and found that serious hahahaha

31

u/wittywinkz 23h ago

I know right? šŸ˜‚

9

u/adultfuntimes 19h ago

That was funny, but he did come back pretty hard. Even cried a little for him. Lol

4

u/MUmyrmidon032 16h ago

Yea but you can’t really come back that hard when you post a video like this though

350

u/Danthemanchan 22h ago

Guys please stop making fun of him. I did 2 tours of T.J Max and 1 tour of Burlington with the guy and he’s the real deal! Saved my life when my pen exploded in my pocket.

24

u/MartyMozambique 21h ago

🫔🫔🫔🫔

12

u/Im_A_Fuckin_Liar 17h ago

These suckers wouldn’t know the real deal if it bit them in the ass. This guy is currently touring Ross and it’s nothing like you read about or see on TV. They think they have some idea because of how the movies portray it all but they don’t have a clue. Not a got damn clue.

4

u/RustyTrumpboner 16h ago

I cackled out loud reading this

3

u/C_IsForCookie 10h ago

Customer Service Sergeant Sir 🫔

2

u/JustSpirit4617 13h ago

I’ll never forget the aisles of Ross..

2

u/NewViewSafety 8h ago

So he’s a pocket protector? Interesting.

3

u/rumbellina 19h ago

I’m ā˜ ļø and you’re hilarious! TYFYS

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136

u/e59e59 23h ago

Dry cr1tikal

33

u/Champion_Of-Cyrodiil 23h ago

Wish.com charlie for sure

4

u/EZ_Rose 21h ago

Lol you beat me to it

4

u/Evening-Name4622 21h ago

They're called MAGS 😠

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353

u/treylanford 1d ago

Wait until someone twice his size grabs him by that luscious pony tail of his and slings him around like a pair of toy nunchucks right in front of a family of 4 and the lady in the corner screaming, ā€œWORLLLLLD STAAAAARRRR!!ā€

109

u/ComfyInDots 23h ago

You use words like Van Gogh used paint.

46

u/LeftyLiberalDragon 23h ago

More like Picasso. Messy, and some squares, but it gets the job done.

16

u/treylanford 23h ago

I’ll take it.

3

u/RappingFlatulence 16h ago

Persistently can’t get this memory removed from my mind

2

u/BienGuzman 8h ago

I was thinking ahead more of a Michelangelo kind of guy.

Course I can paint your ceiling." Michelangelo scoffed to himself, "gonna paint a bunch of dudes with they dick outs on it tho...

7

u/donotenter- 22h ago

I wish I had an award for you but im cheap af

7

u/ComfyInDots 22h ago

Go buy yourself a coffee instead.

6

u/donotenter- 22h ago

And ill drink it thinking of you :)

13

u/Business-Ice2565 23h ago

Miss Trunchbull would have a field dayĀ 

9

u/SendTitsPleease 22h ago

Don't kink shame him man, it's clearly what he wants to happen after that strip search comment about a "large black man"

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5

u/screwyoujor 20h ago

He'll be ok. He's got a pen.

3

u/Alucardspapa 20h ago

Rule one no long hair or jewelry for adversary to get ahold of.

3

u/PromiscuousScoliosis 18h ago

I whip your hair back and forth I whip your hair back and forth

2

u/TheKrimsonFvcker 18h ago

Just took me back 15 years with that reference

2

u/PromiscuousScoliosis 17h ago

ā€œAw come on it wasn’t that longā€”ā€œ

2010 release

ā€œShit.ā€

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103

u/ky1e 1d ago

He needs a bulletproof vest to check your receipt at the Walmart door

41

u/Jomalar 1d ago

He looks like the kind of guy I'd steer my kid away from if I saw him in Walmart.

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30

u/Narren_C 23h ago

I arrested one of those guys once. He thought that refusal to show a receipt meant he was allowed go hands on.

19

u/Potato_Stains 21h ago

ā€œB-b-but they have caramel corn and are declining to prove ownership!!!ā€

12

u/Ragnarok314159 21h ago

No show receipt? That’s a paddlin’

3

u/OriginalBlackberry89 21h ago

Hahaha. Oh man, that sounds glorious.

6

u/Narren_C 21h ago

Walmart was not happy with him.

9

u/Bureaucratic_Dick 21h ago

It always makes me laugh when people don’t understand liability. It’s the reason all the major retailers don’t want employees going after shoplifters.

Every once in a while, you’ll hear some story about a person whose worked for some retailer for years witness a shoplifting, and put their hands on either the shoplifter or their cart, only for corporate to fire them and the community (usually people that have never worked retail), calling it unfair.

But from the corporate side, they could pay for the lost product, a couple hundred at most, or they could pay the tens of thousands for your medical bills, while now being short staffed, and still having to pay for that product because they typically leave with it or it gets damaged in the scuffle.

I hate corporate boot licking, but the store’s products aren’t your personal shit, its some billionaires problem, minimum wage isn’t enough to risk your life for, and their policy here makes sense from both an economic perspective, and from the perspective of expected job responsibilities.

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4

u/Lumpy_Square_2365 18h ago

Speaking of Walmart I used to work at one in a rural county in Florida and when someone stole from them the judge would make them stand in front of Walmart with a sign saying they stole from Walmart all day. I don't know what else they had to do but I know we had someone out there everyday lol.

7

u/Remarkable-Fish-4229 23h ago

To be fair, he’s in a Ross. Depending on what neighborhood you’re in, those things can get chaotic.

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2

u/HikeTheSky 11h ago

I wonder if he has plates in it as well.

2

u/LaconicDoggo 2h ago

I doubt he has plates in there. Plates are very expensive and that is def a Temu vest

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61

u/ComfyInDots 23h ago

Why is he strip searching anybody?

60

u/TurnTheTVOff 23h ago

And why does it have to be a black guy? šŸ¤”

50

u/PanhandlersPets 23h ago

It's his fanfiction. Let him tell it. Lol

4

u/evlgns 21h ago edited 20h ago

His dreams coming true

10

u/abdullah-van-damme 21h ago

he obviously dreams about it

6

u/Remarkable-Screen663 20h ago

Read my mind, imagine the payday from a lawsuit if a Ross employee strip searched someone. Shit they’d never need to work again

3

u/Oregongirl1018 19h ago

At a ROSS even 🤣

2

u/Flynn-FTW 7h ago

Yeah, that's what I got hung up on most. Bro, even real cops don't strip search anyone unless they're working in a jail...

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24

u/Tiny-Atmosphere-8091 23h ago

I’ve never seen a plate carrier add to someone’s silhouette. Dude is the size of a mop handle or he got a massive vest.

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41

u/United-Corgi9872 23h ago

So he is a Ross Store Protection Specialist. In his defense, they make them wear the vest. Outside of that he’s clearly a total fucking tool. You stand there, greet customers, and check for receipts. I doubt Ross is even allowed to go hands on. Outside of potentially grabbing the merchandise.

24

u/Narren_C 23h ago

I hate the "check receipts on the way out" thing. Unless I'm at Sam's Club or Costco (where I agreed to this practice when I signed up) then I just tell them I'm good and walk around them.

8

u/Ok-Passage8958 19h ago

I’m not wasting my time having you look at my receipt judging if I tried stealing something.

If you’re that concerned about people stealing, start watching the checkout lanes and monitor the self check out for what was actually scanned.

Not my problem and outside of Sam’s and Costco, they cannot force you to stop. The lady at the Walmart is extremely rude to everyone and I flat out ignore her now.

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14

u/ronnietea 23h ago

Damn… if door opens on a windy day, they are down a security guard.

12

u/germ1989 22h ago

This is the most homeschooled kid I’ve ever seen

5

u/RustyTrumpboner 16h ago

On a scale of 1 to homeschooled: he’s very.

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10

u/Weak_Rule8374 23h ago

Bro can’t even stop a breeze

8

u/Long_Campaign_1186 22h ago

He prides himself on his long hair as if it isn’t the thinnest, most shapeless hair I’ve seen. Kinda seems like he thought ā€œshit I’m going bald early, maybe if I grow out the hair I do have reeeaaallyyyy long, people won’t notice!ā€

3

u/MagicDragon212 17h ago

He's got allllll that hair and still doesn't know how to braid it lol. That's why he put ponytails on every inch of it, yet still failed to go all the way down so he doesn't have that ridiculous tail end.

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9

u/elvecxz 23h ago

Did Charlie get a day job?

12

u/ContributionLimp2384 22h ago

We need to bring back bullying because this dude should not be this confident.

6

u/Adventurous_War_3312 23h ago

This is my pen, there are many like it but this one is mine!

5

u/InterestingImage9088 21h ago

Why is he strip searching men multiple times? Feel like security generally does not have that authority.

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14

u/Beedlebooble 1d ago

Guess the youtube career didn’t work out for you eh Penguinz0?

2

u/yahboyroshi 21h ago

He looks like a wet rat version of moist critikal

9

u/bombbad15 1d ago

First responder? No Cringe? Yes Do they think they’re a first responder? Likely yes

3

u/Rambo_Calrissian1923 23h ago

Gonna throw that shit in a circle like I'm playing Super Mario 64

3

u/MuchSong1887 23h ago

When it stops being about the job, and it starts being about you, that's when you get people killed

3

u/Catatafeesh1 23h ago

Moist Failure

3

u/cucumberholster 22h ago

Dude got a leash on the back of his head acting like he’s gonna control you

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3

u/Lala5789880 20h ago

This can’t be real. It’s too good

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2

u/AMGdetail 23h ago

Careful, he might shove that highlighter up your bum

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2

u/Delicious-Rice9778 23h ago

Slightly Damp Critikal

2

u/Toilet_Taliban 22h ago

So did people forget wtf POV means??

2

u/CryptographerHot4636 22h ago

I'm sure he loves getting it pulled from that back.

2

u/UnknownRedditEnjoyer 22h ago

WTF was the ā€œquoteā€???

2

u/Buttchuggle 21h ago

I'm sure he understands people stop out of politeness and not because he like...made them, right?

2

u/Defiant-Dust-8737 21h ago

Damn. Penguinz out here looking ROUGH.

2

u/TacticalTaco30 20h ago

This Gumby ass bean pole could get swung around by his pony tail like the little blonde girl in Matilda.

2

u/misplaced_beso 20h ago

Joseph Gordon Leave It Alone

2

u/Savings_Platypus_237 19h ago

This flop video doesn’t deserve Charli for its soundtrack.

2

u/EtchASketchNovelist 17h ago

Please ban this guy from ever using Charli.

I blame it on your love. I got this shitty ass job. Corporate tells me not to chase them, even if they stole some merch. I have to look intimidating. But I can't even do thaaaaaaaat!

2

u/TakeItEZBroski Boo Boo Bus Driver 19h ago

So many questions. I’ll start with what is his hair routine? Dudes got the hair of a centaur… but the body of a heron

2

u/CosmoKray 10h ago

A strip search at the ROSS department store?

2

u/Soft_Introduction317 10h ago

I’ll take things that never happened to this guy for $500, Alex.

2

u/MrNeroWulf 5h ago

Imagine getting Baseball choked with your own hair...

2

u/LaconicDoggo 2h ago edited 2h ago

Man thats crazy to be in a physical security job and have a nice long rope handle with which to have his neck snapped with. Bro clearly is not a professional.

Edit: also calling this guy a jackass is a mercy. Dude’s an actual beta trying to play pretend an alpha (and also believes in that bullshit study). Jackass barely covers this man’s sins.

2

u/gcloud209 1d ago

Hope someone doesn't grab that hair and use it against him.....

1

u/saltytallow 23h ago

CVS is much safer, damn šŸ˜‚

1

u/ZaftigHoney 23h ago

He’s rather impressed by himself

1

u/dylan21502 23h ago

Wtf lmao

1

u/Flokismom 23h ago

ew get me a different medic please or just let me die. thanks.

1

u/sawsawjim 23h ago

Last responder

1

u/mjoric 23h ago

I don't know if I'd want a tether strapped to my head like that as a guard.

1

u/Overall-Row-4793 23h ago

Story time, When I worked at a dispensary we had a security guard that looked kinda like this but not with long hair, some crackhead came in and caused a scene started yelling at customers and he told him to leave, crackhead didn't like that so he stared at him for a solid 5 seconds then swung the fastest punch I've ever seen and knocks the guy on the ground, then he got back up and pulled his gun out and the crackhead ran out

1

u/punch912 23h ago

walmart greeter eilte for when pop pop calls out. could he wear body armor my get a paper cut from checking receipts.

1

u/vinvec 22h ago

He needs to get back to Lothlorien.

1

u/Alarmed-Positive457 22h ago

He looks like an alien.

1

u/RockMedic277 22h ago

Oh look, a dipshit handle. That'll serve him well in a scuffle if he ever gets in one.

1

u/archtech99 22h ago

This guy is the inspiration behind batman.

1

u/Grand-Bullfrog3861 22h ago

This knobhead šŸ˜‚ he thinks his hair has turned him into some super Chad. I like his response where hes being a twat to whoever commented telling them to not be so hateful

1

u/Gariola_Oberski 22h ago edited 21h ago

šŸŽµ I live behind the Ross, I reside behind the Ross. If I need new ponts I can get there fost šŸŽµ

1

u/ResponsibilityNo5679 21h ago

This mf diddles

1

u/ohimbussin 21h ago

This whole era of feeling the need to get your piece of the clout is just fucking crazy.

1

u/levivilla4 21h ago

I'm confident this is satire

1

u/BaZoinky 21h ago

This dude definitely hits on high school girls.

1

u/KccOStL33 21h ago

You can tell by the length of that hair that dudes never been in a real scrap..

1

u/Booji99 21h ago

Moist Critical security

1

u/Electrik_Truk 21h ago

This guy is stopping no one.

1

u/Hopeful_Shape3723 21h ago

You couldn’t stop - water .

1

u/NoFuqGiven 21h ago

That hairs gonna be a big problem if he ever actually has to fight!!!

1

u/Mr-FurleyX1 20h ago

Hero complex with a pony tail

1

u/Admiral_Tuvix 20h ago

Im seeing a lot more of these TikTok’s with white guys fantasizing about stripping black men, or facing them and defeating them somehow. the fuck is going on?

1

u/External-Departure-6 20h ago

I’m definitely not showing this guy my receipt

1

u/Intrepid-Summer-3622 20h ago

Nah fam this ain’t it. Talking about school shooter vibes

1

u/QuickBenDelat 20h ago

Walmart strip searches now?

1

u/MaloneAhDic 20h ago

Charles White Aura

1

u/Reddit-SFW 20h ago

He needs the vest cause a shooting could go down anytime in the good ol USA.

1

u/UberGary79 20h ago

Please stop me.

1

u/Consistent_Amount140 20h ago

That is one serious pony tail

1

u/TraditionalWonder379 20h ago

Why’s he wearing one of those old school toilet chains on his unif- oh, that’s his braid tail.

1

u/nWo_Wolffe 20h ago

As a security guard with long hair - please do something different with yours. You literally made your own fiber wire for when you inevitably piss someone off with your holier-than-thou attitude. Just wanna make sure you know what's gonna happen on your power trips. Keep defending that Wal-Mart, dude. I'm sure you're really making a difference out there.

P.S. what is that goofy ass vest? Is that issued?

1

u/Soft_Yak_7125 19h ago

BPC 7582.26 Uniformed guards must wear a patch on each shoulder that says "private security" and the name of the employing company. Someone tell this dude before they fire him

Edit: dude works at Ross mybad

1

u/QuickBookkeeper2647 19h ago

Ross has receipt checkers? Wtf

1

u/Dunesday_JK 19h ago

That plate carrier is comically big on him like a 5XL or something

1

u/NeonSuperNovas 19h ago

All jokes aside, his hair is amazing ✨!

1

u/Dizzy-Fisherman-6488 19h ago

The last person I'd worry about šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

1

u/Lil_Boosie_Vert 19h ago

Prettty sure he’s taking the piss

1

u/LB-Skywalka 19h ago

He made sure to show us it’s just a pen in case we mistook it for a gun

1

u/SlyCooperKing_OG 19h ago

It’s hard to respect security where the chest rig is larger than they are.

1

u/Thoughtcriminal91 19h ago edited 19h ago

"It's my job to stop you at the door"

Ya cause some crappy drug store guard job is the most authority you've ever had in your life pal šŸ™„

1

u/Im_Pronk 18h ago

I got lost and ge helped me find my Mom 🫠

1

u/PixelVixen_062 18h ago

Be prepared to be strangled by your ponytail in your first fight.

1

u/A_carbon_based_biped 18h ago

A vest isn’t going to stop him from taking backshots. šŸ˜

1

u/Xjones007 18h ago

I can literally see the word virgin etched on his aura.

1

u/No_Departure4831 18h ago

I love watching them crash out when I walk past them and not show my receipt. Just saying im good thank you makes them malfunction

1

u/No_Departure4831 18h ago

Most thefts occur in house. Leave me tf alone

1

u/LaughingHorseHead 18h ago

This guy calls his security jobs ā€œdeploymentsā€ for sure.

1

u/Gurthy_Lengthiness 18h ago

Show us that thicc cake to go with your lush long hair or this is all cap

1

u/AutomatedMedic 17h ago

You just KNOW I’m yanking on that hair

1

u/ultraplusstretch 17h ago

Rapunzel the trans doorman.

1

u/Richard_b_Stillhard 17h ago

Tactical disadvantage with that ponytail

1

u/Smokerising420 17h ago

Totally thought this was Moist Critical for a sec.

1

u/Fast_Bullfrog_9444 17h ago

Toilet dipper

1

u/murkymoon 17h ago

A Reddit mod trying to bring that energy IRL

1

u/TheSnoFarmer 17h ago

Watch out he gonna smack ya ass with that thang

1

u/CrackersandChee 17h ago

Each knot on his ponytail is a battle won

1

u/fattestshark94 17h ago

I don't know why, but he reminds me of a turtle

1

u/Paramedickhead 17h ago

Come at me. When they try to ask for my receipt I just say ā€œNo, thank youā€, and continue walking. Nobody has ever pushed the issue beyond that. At a membership club I agreed to have my receipt checked, so I comply with those.

1

u/Aware-Vegetable83 17h ago

This is what all that gentle parenting will get you.

1

u/Perfect_Beyond8778 17h ago

What the actual fuck…. Do you think he maybe dreams of strip searching a big black man? That comment is so odd. Not to mention his comment later on ā€œfocusing on personal brandā€. Lmao the cringe is strong with this one.

1

u/RuthlessIndecision 16h ago

What a bad ass, sloping shoulders energy

1

u/BobCalifornnnnnia B52: Because Talking Didn’t Work 16h ago

Stop me from what? Laughing my ass off? FOH.

1

u/brittanyks07 16h ago

As someone with long hair, little girl, that braid will get grabbed so fast…

1

u/CaliNooch96 16h ago

Hey it’s me "some huge black guy" I’d love to see this twink nigga try to search me šŸ˜†. That would definitely make for some quality entertainment

1

u/Cunn1ng-Stuntz 16h ago

Lars Croft.

1

u/professionally-baked 16h ago

I’m glad he showed us it was only a marker

1

u/amerikanbeat 16h ago

Shoplifters love that he comes with a handle.

1

u/Callumborn2 16h ago

Budget moistcritical

1

u/thenotanurse 16h ago

Yes. The SWAT hipster at Ross Dress for Less. Thin something line.

1

u/hydra333 15h ago

He thinks he looks like Charlie

1

u/The_Duke_of_NuII 15h ago

Probably just 6ft 170lbs black college student, who this guy thinks is super intimidating (totally not in a racist way)... šŸ˜‚

1

u/Off_Gr1d 15h ago

This one is hard to watch. Weird is the only thing I can think of but I guess I'm sort of more speechless. The heck am I watching

1

u/DeathsStarEclipse 15h ago

If a security company sent him out I'd want a refund

1

u/Mrs_helifax_Spy 15h ago

All it takes is someone grabbing that pony tail and twisting it around his neck. Game over

1

u/UrMad_ItzOk 14h ago

Please make it stop.

1

u/Bethebull64 14h ago

I think a 12 year old could actually throw him a good distance. Probably 2-3 feet off the ground at least

1

u/NerdWithoutAPlan 14h ago

Really? At the stankin Ross? He knows that he's one hair pull away from the end of his aspiring cringelord career, right?

1

u/Alternative-Smoke421 14h ago

Ross loss prevention be wildin out! 🤣

1

u/hoothizz 14h ago

Poor guy he needs purpose.

1

u/ReallyThisGuyAgain 13h ago

Neck ties and long hair. The 2 things you really shouldn’t have if there is a possibility of physical violence.

1

u/Repulsive_Letter4256 13h ago

Lmfao calm down assmongold šŸ˜‚

1

u/boof-spookum 13h ago

Gay club security be actin up

1

u/BlarghALarghALargh 12h ago

This has to be satire lmao

1

u/JonnyMansport 12h ago

Moist Pitiful

1

u/HornlessUnicorn 12h ago

Baaaaaahahahahahahahahaha!

1

u/CmonHunny 12h ago

That marker was in his ass

1

u/Ok-Way400 12h ago

Looks like one of the dudes from dog the bounty hunter

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