r/GetMotivated • u/hardwireddiscipline • 3d ago
DISCUSSION Rules to Stop Wasting Life [Discussion]
Most of us aren’t really living, we’re just wasting time.
We tell ourselves we’ll start tomorrow.
We drown in comfort.
We numb ourselves with noise.
The Stoics warned us about this. They weren’t just philosophers, they were people fighting against the same weaknesses we face today. Seneca put it brutally: “It’s not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it.”
Lately I’ve been asking myself: how much of my time is really lived, and how much is just wasted?
The 4 Stoic rules that keep coming back to me are:
- Remember you’re dying (Memento Mori)
- Choose pain over comfort
- Stop lying to yourself
- Do the work in silence
For me, comfort as a slow poison is the hardest truth. It’s so easy to slip into scrolling, eating, or procrastinating and call it “rest.” But it’s not rest. It’s wasting life.
What about you? Which of these rules feels most urgent in today’s world, and why?
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u/Mannyvoz 2d ago
Not everyone needs a high octane life to feel and be fulfilled.
I’m ok with comfort. In fact I welcome it, comfort allows for my mind and body to spend energy where I truly want to. Comfort allows me to slow the fuck down and think.
I don’t want to hustle, I want to enjoy. I want to enjoy time with my loved ones, my hobbies and myself.
I don’t want to be a slave of a treadmill knowing that in the end, all that hustle will be for nothing.
I am perfectly ok with having just enough. I am ok with working out 3 x week instead of 5. I am ok with taking care of my health in a normal way. I strive for balance.
I am hella motivated to do absolutely nothing but sit down and be bored. This allows my brain to reset from the dopamine infested world I live in.
I am an individual and found what works for me. I certainly think and believe I am not wasting my life away and I am satisfied with the good choices I’ve made, and accountable for the wrong ones.
Life is supposed to be highs and lows. The lows make me appreciate the highs and learn. I know I can’t control everything and that’s ok.
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u/hardwireddiscipline 2d ago
Fair take. I think there’s a difference between real rest and fake comfort. Time with loved ones, slowing down, being bored on purpose, that’s valuable. What I push back on is the endless scrolling, junk food, or numbing out and calling it “rest.” That’s when comfort becomes a trap instead of recovery.
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u/jortego128 18h ago
"I don’t want to be a slave of a treadmill knowing that in the end, all that hustle will be for nothing."
If you take that perspective to the extreme, then you will conclude that everything is for nothing.
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u/4element183 3d ago
I believe the answer is in the first rule. Know that you will die and whatever you choose to do is correct.
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u/WhyYesIndeedIDo 2d ago
Memento Mori by Will Wood is a great song about this. “in the fabric of time and in the vastness of space, a billion amounts to nothing in infinity’s face. at most a couple generations will remember the ways in which your life never mattered so who cares if it’s a waste!?”
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u/dillonsrule 2d ago
As I get older, this is more and more my philosophy. Pretty much all of us will not be remembered in time, just like the millions and millions of normal people who have existed before us and died.
Some people will leave a mark, your Einsteins and Shakespeares, etc, but the 99.9999% of the rest of us will not leave any meaningful mark long term. And this is okay. This is how it should be. Your life is yours to live. You should live it as you see fit.
Getting comfortable with this fact of life is really freeing in a lot of ways. For me, I now consider it important to try to be a force for good in the lives of those around me. I am happy to have that be my legacy, even if it is only remembered for a short time after I'm gone.
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u/hardwireddiscipline 2d ago
Exactly, everything seems small when you think about the rule number one.
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u/Arijan101 3d ago
LoL who's drowning in comfort? You think the average person who's forced to work for a living and has kids to take care of is drowning in comfort?
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u/thatguy425 2d ago
What average person are you talking about? The average person in worldwide doesn’t have much. The average American has plenty of comfort when compared to the rest of the world. I just don’t know who you’re talking about.
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u/Arijan101 2d ago
The average citizen of the world.
Or is this post somehow limited to the U.S. reddittors ?
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u/thatguy425 2d ago
That’s why I’m asking. Then most of us Redditors are doing just fine.
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u/Arijan101 2d ago
Great, then you can get busy hustling so that you can own 10 rental properties by the age of 30.
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u/thatguy425 2d ago
That sounds like a lot of work, I’ll stick with less rentals and more comfort.
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u/MegaGecko 2d ago
I think you are being disingenuous with these responses. I understand what you're trying to say but it's kind of coming off like you're straw manning his point. It's not a leap to say that collectively people waste a lot of their time, and that's not advocating for "hustle culture", it's being human. Even the most devoutly disciplined I dividual with a precise and rigid routine will find time to waste. There isn't anything inherently wrong with taking a break and getting some r&r. That being said, everything in moderation and I'm sorry but saying that someone is safer at home scrolling vs going to work or the gym is beyond missing the point, bordering on asinine.
I have two kids and my wife and I both work two jobs, and we're starting a business. I don't feel I am in this "hustle bro" category at all, but I also don't think I'm in "work or die" category either, but I definitely have been. People need to find their balance but they also need to stop lying to themselves. Sometimes it is within our best interest to push a little more and to get a little more uncomfortable. It doesn't have to be a permanent thing, and it shouldn't be. If we are in a bad living situation we should ask ourselves what we want and establish SMART goals then start working on them. This might mean you get less sleep for a while, and you can't go do all the things you want to do, and it might even just straight up suck... But only for a while.
If someone already feels hopeless, burnt out, and defeated I promise it is only going to compound those feelings if you you choose to waste time. This is me being honest with myself more than anything... Case in point, there are a great many things I should be doing but I am laying in bed after a night of 4 hr of sleep and having to get up early to get my kids off to school. I know my anxiety isn't going to get any better sitting here but it's my choice and I'm making it.
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u/Arijan101 2d ago
I think you are being disingenuous with these responses.
Said the guy who's entire response is a thinly vailed humble brag.
I have two kids and my wife and I both work two jobs, and we're starting a business. I don't feel I am in this "hustle bro" category at all, but I also don't think I'm in "work or die" category either, but I definitely have been. People need to find their balance but they also need to stop lying to themselves. Sometimes it is within our best interest to push a little more and to get a little more uncomfortable. It doesn't have to be a permanent thing, and it shouldn't be. If we are in a bad living situation we should ask ourselves what we want and establish SMART goals then start working on them. This might mean you get less sleep for a while, and you can't go do all the things you want to do, and it might even just straight up suck... But only for a while.
The definition of hustle culture. If hustle culture was a company they'd have you as their mascot.
If someone already feels hopeless, burnt out, and defeated I promise it is only going to compound those feelings if you you choose to waste time.
If someone indeed feels hopeless and burnt out, just let them know it's their fault for not working hard enough, that should set them straight.
This is me being honest with myself more than anything... Case in point, there are a great many things I should be doing but I am laying in bed after a night of 4 hr of sleep and having to get up early to get my kids off to school.
But are you really being honest to yourself? Because by the looks of it, what you should be doing is having more rest and taking better care of yourself, at least for your family's sake if not for your own.
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u/MegaGecko 2d ago
*veiled, ftfy.
Do you think everyone is humble bragging when they share things about their life? It's not a brag at all, its context.
Maybe we should get our definitions straight because I don't think what I said is hustle culture at all. My definition of hustle culture is being a workaholic AND thinking everyone else should be too. I don't believe that at all, and I'm not a workaholic whatsoever. What's your definition?
I never said it was the fault of the individual. There are more things that happen to us than because of us. We can't control most things and we will only drive ourselves crazy thinking we can. If you agree, then wouldn't it also follow that we should focus on what we can control? Also, the last bit about no sleep and such is probably what you equate to hustle culture mentality but it's far more of a reality as we get older and have more responsibilities.
I appreciate you talking about self care, and you're right. Good sleep is important and we should make that a priority in our lives, but we shouldn't fall apart if we have a bad night of sleep. It happens, and this won't be the last time.
I get that you don't agree with me and you feel like you have me all figured out, which is fine. This feels like an agree to disagree situation.
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u/Truestew 2d ago
You don't understand how the body or mind works. Also just kind of a dick. He was just sharing his experience, that doesnt make it a humble brag. Not sure if you are a bot or just an angry person.
Resting doesnt make you stronger or healthier. Challenging yourself through Eustress does. Distress is a different thing. Its a fact of our evolution, we are built to push ourselves in healthy ways. Not pushing yourself is what makes you weaker. But keep twisting it into hustle culture, I assume to make yourself feel better?
Things arent black and white, telling someone to work hard is not blaming them. I was severly depressed, and while the drugs made me non-sucidal, the only thing that made me feel better was months of consistent exercise, healthy eating, and putting down my phone and putting in work. It doesnt have to be to make money, but only by doing something challenging will you find meaning. Resting did not make me feel better. It just made me more depressed, lonely, and sick.
I dont expect you to read or educate yourself on the matter though, so I look forward to your downvote and snippy reply.
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u/hardwireddiscipline 3d ago
True, I am not talking about work and family when I say "comfort". But let’s be real, almost everyone is glued to their phone, scrolling hours away. That’s the comfort trap I mean.
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u/Arijan101 2d ago
But let’s be real, almost everyone is glued to their phone, scrolling hours away. That’s the comfort trap I mean.
And where are you writing this from if not your smart device?
This hustle culture, "step outside your comfort zone", "pick yourself up by the bootstraps" mumbo jumbo, isn't the answer to anything in the best case scenario it frustrates people who really do have problems with motivation (IE depression) making them feel like it's all their fault because there simply lazy, and to the rest of us who are working our asses of and also raising children and not having time for anything else, its just irritating to see 20 smth year olds who know nothing about anything because they don't have any life experience, think they're qualified to give advice because they saw a Tony Robbins motivational video.
There's nothing wrong with a little comfort, also if we're all going to die anyway, at least let's not be miserable hustle bro's who wake up and go to the gym at 5AM and listen to 3 audio books before going to work and be on a protein diet just so we can feel like we've accomplished smth.
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u/hardwireddiscipline 2d ago
The Stoics were not against comfort in itself. They were against being ruled by it, and I am not against using a "smart device" to do your work or similar, but I do think you understand what I mean when I say scrolling. Comfort is fine until it owns us.
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u/Arijan101 2d ago
Everything is fine until it owns us (fire, watter, electricity, alcohol, nicotine, kitchen salt...) this is generally applicable to absolutely everything and scrolling on your phone doesn't have any exclusivitee here also it's far from the worst thing that can own you, definitely not even in the top 50.
Also, stoicism is not what modern hustle bro's are pumping it up to be.
It is a philosophy that focuses on finding inner peace by cultivating virtue and self control, and it can be applied to literally everything and anything.
This new age, subjective interpretation of certain elements of stoicism in the context of hustle culture is hilarious to anyone who's ever read a book, worked a job and has any kind of genuine life experience.
So relax and scroll on your phone if that's what you feel like doing, chances are you're safer at home scrolling on your phone than at work or at the gym.
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u/ClimateCare7676 2d ago
Not to be that person, but Seneca belonged to the top class of the slave owning society. And Marcus Aurelius came from a super privileged family and ended up an emperor. Stoicism might have its benefits as an ancient alternative to basically therapy, but I don't know if we can say that wealthy ancient Roman elites had the same weaknesses an overworked depressed modern day worker is.
To exist the zone of comfort you first need to be there in the first place, and if you have no comfort, the approach of choosing pain and thinking of death sounds like something that will make you even more apathetic rather than motivated and encouraged to do better.
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u/hardwireddiscipline 2d ago
Yeah true, most Stoics had privilege. But not all, Epictetus was literally born a slave. What sticks with me is they still wrestled with the same stuff we do, like procrastination, comfort, even just getting out of bed. I don’t read them as perfect examples, more like people trying to fight the same battles we’re in.
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u/SepiaBubble 2d ago
Great reminder. I'm getting tf off reddit today and spending my day intentionally.
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u/DaleJohnstone 3d ago
"False Rewards" is a concept I think about often.
Ensure your rewards align with what you know rationally to be benefitial.
..and "Just do one thing" per day, at least. It's a start.
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u/Loud_Huckleberry2363 3d ago
I have an important university entrance exam coming up in a month, and I haven't seriously started studying yet. This isn't how I used to be. In school, I was a high achiever; I took my studies seriously. While I enjoyed watching cartoons and playing games, I always managed to study on time. Now, this is my third gap year after finishing college, and I don’t know what happened to me. I’ve become anti-social and rarely go out only once every 3 to 4 months. I feel like I've hit rock bottom in my life.
I know I procrastinate a lot and tend to aim for perfection, but I don’t have the answers on how to fix it. I desperately want to return to my former self, yet I still haven't found a solution. I work on improving myself, but I keep failing again and again. This cycle of misery just continues.
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u/Sunshine1606 2d ago
That happened to me when my husband was tragically killed. Then I lost family members & had to move away from friends. I just laid in my bed & scrolled for a really long time over Covid. Getting out of bed was like crawling through thick mud with no arms. But life does get to a point that you have to push yourself. Because if I had kept it up I may not be here today. Thank heavens my blood caught something very early & praise God I changed health habits & am fine. I guess it comes to a point with motivation, even if you have depression, a pill is going to help but you’ve gotta really just love yourself. Push even if it’s painful. But don’t work so much you regret the lost special times with loved ones. Or being in nature. Putting your health at risk bc of procrastination. Obviously we all have to pay our bills, have a comfortable home, I had a roofing company for many years & very fulfilling but life really goes fast. It’s what’s most important to you. Do you really need the mansion, the boats, the trucks and the fishing condo in Fl Keyes? Ok, yes we need the fishing condo but the truck & mansion may make you work so hard you can’t enjoy them. Moderation. Tell your spouse & loved ones that you love them a lot. Life can change drastically in a blink of eye. I pray for everyone here it changes for the better!!
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u/SelfDefecatingJokes 2d ago
Based on your first sentence I’m going to assume you’re younger than I am. I think COVID really messed some people’s brains up because though I’m years out of university, I can relate. I used to be a social butterfly and now I maintain like 2 friendships. My attention span is shot even though I was a high achiever as well.
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u/Landkindt 2d ago
Please remember: Seneca was probably the 2nd richest man in the roman empire at this time. Take his teachings about comfort with a grain of salt.
The stoics also warned us about emotions. Good luck with that.
The stoic philosophy is very rigid, in no way should you adopt their beliefs in our time. For example not only virtus itself makes a good life, modern psychology also adds healthy relationships or social security in the mix.
The fact that Seneca talks about time is simple to lure you in. Hence it’s the topic in his first epistula ad Lucilium. The stoics don’t even care about time. It‘s only to get you reading and then discovering stoic teachings one after another. Like modern evangelical christians, for example. They first love-bomb you and tell you that you‘re special and many lessons later you discover the ugly stuff like their rigidity on same-sex marriage or hell-nonsense.
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u/Necessary_Baker_7458 2d ago
Limit time on electronics: tv, social media, phones, tablets, computers.... Have off days or off periods where you and your family are not screen glued. Bring back life styles before technology. You'll find you'll be more productive. I only allow my self a few short hours a week on my computer and once my timer goes off that's it.
Make time for it. IT's not about will or time you have that. You have to make time for it. Say for example I wanted to learn more skills and I have all this time after work going to waist so I started changing my algorithms in life and now refuse to let my electronics be time waisters. Most people these days are so phone addicted they don't know what else to do.
I have found that funds don't matter. I have never had high waged jobs and never earned more than $50-$60k annually. If you are sway with finances you can work extra things into your life and make these things happen. I went back to school and am almost done with it and just had to revise my finances to allow it.
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u/Significant-Leek8483 2d ago
I have a decent job and it keeps me busy, pays my bills, no stress/weekend work whatsoever. I get enough time to look after my young family, take kids to classes etc and watch them grow up. We are able to take 1 or 2 international holidays every year.
Yes - I could stretch and get a larger role/job, earn more etc. But I lack the motivation and frankly have reached the ceiling of competence. I am happy now and hence no motivation to do anything more.
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u/hardwireddiscipline 1d ago
That sounds solid. You’ve built stability, family, and peace, and that’s rare. The only thing the Stoics would remind us is to stay awake inside it. Comfort is good until it turns into autopilot. Being present with your kids and grateful for the time you have, that’s already living with discipline.
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u/dazedan_confused 2d ago
Ask yourself if you are now where you wanted to be when you were 5, 10, 15, 20. Now ask yourself what you'd say at 5/10/15/20 to someone who is in your position.
Now remember that there's a 40/50/60 year old you.
It's not too late.
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u/hardwireddiscipline 1d ago
Powerful way to frame it. Looking back at what our younger self expected and what our older self will regret cuts through all the excuses.
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u/dazedan_confused 1d ago
Think about when you were a kid, you didn't see status or income, you saw enjoyment. For some people, the binman was their idol ,because bro did his job and did it proud. Look back at your past selves and ask what you were seeking in each of the time periods.
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u/thespicemust 2d ago
Id propose Get out of your comfort zone rather than "choose pain"
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u/hardwireddiscipline 1d ago
Getting out of the comfort zone is the doorway. But I think the Stoics pushed it further, because just stepping out is easy to frame as “trying.” Choosing the hard path on purpose is where the edge is built. That’s why “choose pain” hits deeper. It’s not about suffering for no reason, it’s about sharpening ourselves against resistance.
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u/WebSickness 1d ago
- Choose pain over comfort
Im still literally in pain 8 months after chemotherapy. How much more pain I have to endure 🤣
I cant finish blender tutorial, which Im learning recently, because sitting is so uncomfortable and Im so tired
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u/hardwireddiscipline 1d ago
Respect. You’ve already carried pain most of us can’t imagine. That in itself is strength.
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u/WebSickness 1d ago
Thanks.
Life is quite different now. Now I really do the stuff that I always wanted to do but lacked motivation, like mentioned blender, but also started sketching and I found my life much more "productive".
Sometimes worst events in your life change how you look at it.
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u/hardwireddiscipline 1d ago
It’s crazy how the worst hits in life can flip the switch. Pain clears the bullshit. You see what matters, and you start building. Turning struggle into something solid, that’s real discipline.
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u/ZephkielAU 1d ago
Unrelated, but these are my rules. Every day do the following four things:
Something for your mind (eg education, logic puzzles, practice or learn a skill etc)
Something for your body (exercise, improve diet etc)
Something for your soul (something grounding, something you enjoy or something relaxing etc)
Something for tomorrow (anything that helps in future, like doing a task you're putting off, saving some money etc)
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u/AssurFighter 2d ago
Mine, simple...is stop waiting for the perfect time to do things. It’s such a trap!
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u/violentdeepfart 2d ago
These are nice words that come from people who had the luxury of sitting around all day to think of them. But I don't feel like anyone really has the ability to be anything else or do anything more than what they are currently. It's my conviction that everyone is always doing the best they can at any given moment. You can't will yourself to do something for which you have no energy. It's like turning something on with a dead battery. You're gonna get something for a moment and then it'll die. And the battery's life will be shortened from it.
So, no one is wasting their life. There may be some things that appear to be possible for someone when comparing them to others or maybe comparing them to their past selves, but that doesn't mean they have wasted potential.
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u/hardwireddiscipline 1d ago
I understand where you're coming from. Energy and circumstances are real limits. But the Stoics weren’t saying “do more for the sake of it.” They were saying don’t hand away the little energy and time we do have to comfort and noise. Even with a low battery, we choose where those few charges go. That choice is what decides if life is lived or just drifted.
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u/capitol_ 2d ago
That first sentence really reminded me of https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/sheeple.png
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u/Power0fTheTribe 2d ago
Needed to read this. Been feeling the pull of this so much lately. I need to make a change and realize my potential
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u/CaptainRhetorica 3d ago
Overburdened brains will always take the easy route. It's not a personal failing to be a normal human.
Your insights are valid. But the less privileged a person is, the harder it is for them to live this way.
People who consistently push themselves to neurotically "choose pain over comfort" beyond their physiological limit will break themselves and suffer psychological and physical consequences.
Oprah choosing "pain over comfort" is not the same as a disadvantaged person with no support choosing "pain over comfort". Oprah is surrounded by personal assistants, dieticians, chefs and personal trainers all dedicated to keep Oprah healthy.
To overcome poverty and oppression a disadvantaged person has to operate at 120% for so long that most will suffer catastrophic breakdowns. Car accidents, autoimmune diseases, mental health struggles, something will catch up with you.