My grief has been so heavy lately. 2021 was truly the worst year of my life. My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer at the end of February. I was the only person there with her, her youngest child and only daughter. The doctor came in and explained everything to me, I was obviously devastated. My mom was still asleep. When he came back to try to talk to her again, she woke up and asked "did you get it all out?" To this day that just destroys me to even think about. She did not have a very long battle. She died on May 31st 2021. Unfortunately during all of this I was going through an entire mental breakdown, diagnosed with bipolar 1, and just... I wish I could go back and spend so much more time with her. I am not the same person I was. I am not the same mom I was. I try so hard for my kids everyday. But it's so hard. Now onto my brother. He was in prison for 7 years, released in October 2020. I was the one to pick him up. We never got along our entire lives, but we ended up getting very close. He promised me after my mom that we would always have each other. Well, he died on September 17 2021. That's a whole long story, but it was determined to be an OD (which I don't believe at all). So I buried the only 2 family members that I was close with, all within 3ish months of each other. I am not religious so I don't believe I'll ever be seeing them again. If you read all of this, thank you. I just feel like the more time goes by, the sadder and madder I am over it.

Pictured: My beautiful mom on her very last birthday in 2020. My brother when he got his license after getting out of prison.

This is a photo of her as a teen. She was very nurturing, smart, stubborn, funny, and trained me well to handle hard things.

When does it get easier? I wish I could call her and complain about how awful this is.

My dad passed say on 8/17 … we went to do a wellness check on the following Tuesday 8/19 and had to break a window to get into the house and I was the first to find him half way off the couch with blood vomit all around him. He had a heart attack. I’ve been managing …okay. I’ve gone to therapy, had a massage, I cry and talk to friends and my partner but I’ve also closed up the reality somewhere deep inside of me. I’ve struggled with jaw pain because of how tense I feel.

Tomorrow is his service. I struggled to find something to wear and had anger outbursts looking for a dress. I’m speaking and have practiced my speech.

Tomorrow feels like reality, like I have to face that he is truly gone.

How do I get through it?

he passed peacefully in my arms at the vet after eating his favorite soup one last time. my soul animal in every single way. i dunno how im gonna wake up anymore without him there to greet me. rest in peace, may we meet again one day sweet love of my life :( <3

Today has been the most painful day. My wife and I had to say goodbye to our sweet girl, Marlee.

We adopted Marlee from the Arizona Humane Society. She was a tripod who had clearly been through a lot in such a short time. The shelter assured us over and over that Marlee was healthy and happy.

Not long after bringing her home, we noticed she wasn’t acting like herself, so we took her to the vet immediately. After countless tests, our worst nightmare became a heartbreaking reality…Marlee was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer. The vet told us that our little girl had been suffering so much, and that at just one year old, she was too weak to handle any surgery. We were faced with the unthinkable decision to let her go peacefully.

Marlee, in the three short months we had with you, you brought so much love and joy into our lives. We love you more than words can express.

Run free, sweet girl. Thank you for saving us, teaching us, and filling our hearts with so much love. This pain feels unbearable, but it’s only because of how deeply we love you.

My only sibling, my sister, was murdered 20 years ago by her ex bf. She was just about to turn 22 and I was 11 just starting 6th grade. I struggle every year with the anniversary and had a bit of a mental health setback around the anniversary (end of August).

My boyfriend told me it’s been 20 years, I should get over it. I wish people understood the pain. But maybe I should be over it? I’m so lost, confused, and hurt.

I lost my dad to bladder cancer on 7/31. I'm 32. As time passes, I can feel the depression starting to settle in. The brain fog, the exhaustion, this sense of hopelessness and emptiness.

Right now, the only thing bringing me some sort of comfort is that I'm choosing to carry this hurt forever, and somehow to me that memorializes the depth of love I have for my dad. And... I need something to look forward to, other than carrying this hurt.

I need someone to tell me that I'll find the good again. I need someone to tell me that there's good moments in my life ahead of me, even though it doesn't feel like it right now.

I need to know that I'll appreciate feeling sunlight on my skin again.

I need to know that I'll feel joy again, even just for a brief moment.

I need to know that this all-consuming emptiness is temporary.

I need to know that I'll feel excited about the future again.

I need something good to hope for.

It has to be out there, right?

I recently spent a week with my Dad with the intent of going through my Mom’s things. What I discovered was sad and funny and frustrating and all the feels.

My Mom has been donating and consigning a ton of stuff for about the last ten years. She whittled her crystal collection down, got rid of my grandmother’s clothes after 30 years, and seemed to be all about “purging” - her word. Thus, I did not expect what I found.

Piles of brand new clothes still in the packaging with tags. 20 identical Henley shirts. Four identical pairs of Ferragamo black kid flats, two black patent leather, two red and five others in various colors. She had the money to buy Ferragamos, and go her, but I’m flummoxed by multiple identical pairs.

Nine sets of china, several of which Dad, brother and I had never seen. More stationary than she could have used if she lived to be 150.

Just stuff. Stuff carefully stored and organized. I learned a new term: organized hoarder. I had no idea my mom was buying so much stuff, and certainly didn’t know how much she had. It’s going to take multiple trips to deal with.

Not only was it hard to see and comprehend, but I brought some things home with me and as I unpacked, her smell was everywhere. I didn’t notice it in her home, but in my home it’s so clear. And so hard. Our relationship was fraught, but my mom was a force. I loved her immensely and her things in my space, smelling like her are inspiring waves of incredible grief. I cried all day yesterday.

I know I have to go back in a couple of months and do this again. I want to laugh, cry and yell at her. Damn, Mom.

First photo is from 2015. Second photo is from 2023/4. I received a video call on August 28, 2025 from my brother’s ex, she had just got off the phone with a detective in Boston informing her that my brother was found dead on that Wednesday August 27, 2025 in his room. He had last been seen Friday August 22, 2025 by friends or people familiar with him. He was older than me but our roles were reversed at some point in life. He had addiction problems and struggled to stay clean, but his personality changed with his addiction. He harmed longtime relationships with childhood friends. Harmed his relationship with his daughter so much so that she apparently has no emotional attachment left for him at age 20. I learned he was HIV+ on Christmas Day 2024, we spent 2 hours on the phone and talked longer than we had in a very long time. He remembered how when I was little I had called leftovers “used food” and wouldn’t eat it. He told me other things he was getting therapy for. He wanted to be sober. That’s what he told me anyways. I know when he took a turn for the worse. In 2011 when our mom died we were effectively ghosted by our families from all sides. We had no one, no job, no housing. We experienced homelessness independently in different locations, me in Boston, Massachusetts and him in New Hampshire. He went to county jail for 25 months. I encouraged him to come to Boston because the services were more accessible than in Manchester, NH. I had moved on from Boston by this time, seeking healing in a different way. Mom had told me on more than one occasion how proud she was of me, I traveled on my own a lot, Mike wouldn’t do the same, he’d only go somewhere if he was with a friend. As GenX and latchkey kids we grew up with less supervision than our younger peers. His gateway drug was OxyContin he was prescribed for a grazed bullet wound in early 2000’s. My brother was too trusting and gave people second chances whereas I held grudges, even against people who harmed my brother when he seemed forgiving. He lost one of his best friends in 2004 and his friend’s autopsy was inconclusive. Our culture of toxic masculinity is also to blame. Or anyone that shuns therapy is toxic. I as a girl received therapy from the age of 8 to still at age 50. My dad is to blame, he used to beat my brother in front on my mom and say he had to do this to keep my brother from becoming a criminal. My brother has a different father than me. I found my brother’s biological father through a facebook group, unfortunately he died in 2015. This floored him and he refused to listen to me of the truth about his father loving him and never being a source of shame. His father was illiterate and didn’t know how to look for my brother or that a notice of adoption was issued in 1981 in a newspaper when my dad legally adopted my brother. We won’t know his official cause of death for 3 months when toxicology test results should come in. Ultimately it is my brother’s fault. I know this. I am his baby sister.

Hello everyone, I’m from Ukraine and I’m 18 years old. I never thought something like this could happen to me, but now I’m here, and I want to share my tragedy.

This morning started surprisingly well. I woke up, greeted my mom, and we had a little chat. She even seemed happier than usual. After that, I went to visit my grandmother to help with some things, and I was about to head to work when my brother suddenly started calling me over and over again.

When I called him back, he was crying and told me that our mom had collapsed and lost consciousness. I got really worried, because she had recently developed heart problems, but she hadn’t yet completed all the necessary examinations.

I tried to call an ambulance, but they kept putting me on hold, so I ordered an expensive taxi just to get home faster. At the same time, I kept trying to reach both my brother and my stepfather. In the end, my brother managed to get an ambulance to come.

While riding in the taxi, I tried to calm myself down, thinking it might just be one of her usual fainting spells. But then my stepfather answered the phone and told me the worst news: my mom had passed away.

A minute later, I arrived home and saw the ambulance leaving slowly. I rushed inside, first trying to comfort my brother and sister, who were already being consoled by a neighbor. Then I went into my parents’ room, hoping it wasn’t true, but I saw my mom’s lifeless body covered with a sheet.

The rest felt like a nightmare. I cried while trying to support my siblings. Later, my stepfather came home—neighbors told me his cry could be heard across the neighborhood. I also saw my grandmother crying for the first time in my life, and it’s something I wish I had never seen.

We waited for the medical examiners to arrive, fill out the papers, and take my mom’s body away. Watching her being carried out of our home is an image I will never forget.

Now it’s late at night, and I can’t sleep. I’m writing this post to pour my heart out, to honor my mom, and to ask for advice: how do I go on from here? Just this morning we talked, and now she’s gone. I still can’t believe it, and I keep hoping this is just a horrible dream.

My dad passed away on 28-2-2025 6 months and 10 days ago, and I’m struggling with accepting what happened

I think about him everyday but somedays are just hard, my heart physically aches for the thought of him not being here anymore Sometimes I get this urge to call him and talk to him but he’s not here anymore no matter where I search for him I could never reach him

I miss him more when I’m going through major life events, for example I had vision correction surgery last month and I wanted to tell him and make the decision with him.. I wanted him to be here woth me taking care of me reminding me to use my eye drops.. also I’ve reached a new milestone, I am a senior now .. I have joined a new research in my favorite field Life feels heavy and hurtful without him.. I can’t fathom the reality of him being gone Untouchable unreachable invisible I can’t shake the image of his dead cold body of my brain I died the day he died, there’s this part of me that I can’t get back Today I came across a tik tok on my fyp A year ago I have never thought I would ever lose my dad.. losing my dad was a nightmare that I would get every once in a while When did losing him became my reality? My eye is still healing from the surgery so I’m trying not to cry a lot because it makes them dry But I feel heavy and suffocated

I keep thinking about his last week on earth and I keep thinking about what life could’ve look like if he was still around

Hi,

So basically my Mum is dying, she has up to 2 years but it could be less, we don’t know.

I still have stuff like school so go to bed early to be up in time but she stays up with my older sister till very late and I feel so guilty not staying up as well.

I don’t even get to sleep till late and I kind of just lie in my bed.

I also feel bad being away for majority of the day and also going upstairs for a couple hours each day because I need some alone time since I’m tired.

I feel so guilty that I am not doing more with her.

I saw a tv show not long ago of someone’s Mum dying and they spent every moment with her and now I feel bad not doing the same.

I feel like I’m bad at helping and I want to do more with her, all she does is sit and it must be horrible and then she gets left by me.

I hate it.

I feel so guilty and I just want her to hug me and tell me it’s okay.

Am I going to regret all this? Should I feel guilty?

I feel like crying when I leave her side, I use to have bad speration anxiety

My Mother passed away on the 6th of September after a long battle of pain and suffering. I am currently down by the river, extremely drunk. Talking out to my mom. Wondering if she hears me. I will try to provide additional information through interactive comments.I am just in so much pain. And have been pondering on my own mortality ever more so now that I'm an orphan. I never thought it'd feel this way. I don't even think it's even actually hit me yet. I haven't truly cried yet.

No one was expecting sudden deaths. I still just stop and think “this can’t really be happening in my life”, and I really have to remind myself that’s the reality. Does this feeling go away?

She wasn’t just a dog to me. She was my best friend, she was going to turn 16 in October so I of course knew her time was coming but the grief and loss I still feel is one I can’t describe.

She was there for me when my parents divorced and would move between my mom’s house and my dad’s house as I did. She would come up and lick my face when I was sad and would listen when I needed someone to talk with. She brought a light to my life when I found myself in the darkest of times. I wasn’t able to be there in her final time because I moved abroad and I couldn’t bring her with me but she lived with my grandparents who I know loved and cherished her all the same.

I like to think that now she is with my paternal grandfather and my maternal great grandparents, eating all her favorite foods and receiving all the love and adoration she got when she was alive but from the people she never got to meet but would have loved her all the same.

I keep going between being happy over the time I got with her and crying that she is gone and I’ll never get to sit with her in the sun again and just give her pats and tell her how much she changed my life for the better.

I lost my darling mum and only parent almost a year ago, 2 weeks ago I lost the only man I have ever loved. I know there are people that have gone through greater losses than me but I just don’t want to be here anymore, don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to harm myself, I just want to be dead. What do you do with that feeling? I feel almost catatonic.

My ex partner of five years died by suicide in the last week. We lived together for 12 months after the separation until recently, and we never fell out we just were friends. They were a gentle kind soul and I always thought I would hear news one day that they had a new partner and I would have been so happy to hear that their life was great. Am I wrong to feel so upset over this loss? I have a new partner who I am very happy with but am really struggling with this loss.

Glioblastoma. Thinking the tumor isn’t that big but the cloud of edema (swelling) taking over is shutting her down. Watch the right side of her body lay useless. She fumbles her words. She can’t remember the pin to her phone — it’s her birthday. Her mind was a well-tuned calendar and computing master, now lacking the ability to complete simple tasks or speak clearly.

I’m crumbling. My parents were my greatest support. My mother worked harder than most men and her body is failing her in a way I can’t comprehend. My dad hides his tears because he struggles to help her get around.

I’m trying to be a rock for them to rely on and a smile they can find hope in. The weight of it all is breaking me. My fear of losing the most loving creature in my world is impossible. Zero control in watching it fall apart.

I know some of you will have kind words. Just putting this information out there is helpful. Thank you.

My Mom died almost 1 month ago, and I'm struggling with the memories, her pucture in the house her presence and now her absence in the day to day life. Out of nowhere her picture pops up in my mind and I remember the daily situations when she was present, I suffer a lot with the memories, I soemtimes cry when I remember her, my heart has a big void in it that was filled by her. I know life will continue but her absence makes life so yard for me I miss you momma, I miss everything about you. I want you and I need you. I know you are in peace in a better place. But life is empty without you, it feels so voud it feels so soulless, I know this is normal in our earthly life since million years ago and this will continue to happen to the rest of the humanity. I will honour you by living the life to the fullest I will honour you by successing in ky life. I will honour you by letting you know uo there in the hevens that me your child is doing good and happy in life. I love you Mama, I love you more than the whole world ❤️

Tomorrow is one week since losing my grandma, and it’s hurting something fierce. I’m missing her in the voids where she once fit so perfectly into my life. I cried on my drive home today, my first day back to work. Usually I’d call her just to talk for the 20 minute drive and it hit me today that I’ll never get to do that again. I’ll never hear her voice or chat about her day, never laugh over something silly, or tell her what I’m making for dinner. She was my best friend, losing her feels like a giant painful hole in my sternum.

Grief is so heavy and I'm desperately searching for something to keep me afloat. I don't have much of a support system. My family is super dysfunctional. I don't have friends and struggle to make them due to intense anxiety, depression, and ADHD that makes socialising literally painful. I don't even have a pet, and i'm not in a position to get one. And I can't even lean on religion, because I have a ton of religious trauma and have heard so many spiritual tone deaf comments through all this. So i'm just really struggling to find anything that makes life feel worth living.

I'm trying to get professional help but even that is hard, as I'm struggling to find the right therapist and psychiatrist. It's exhausting to find a therapist and establish that relationship while drowning in grief. I don't even have a job to distract me because my issues prevent me from working, and I can't enjoy my hobbies because I feel pressure to get my life together now that my mom is gone.

Everything feels impossible, even resting. I feel so alone. Things were hard before, but now they feel downright impossible. I have to fight so hard for my life, when it feels like every reason to has disappeared. I barely have the energy to exist, let alone dig myself out of a hole that has only gotten deeper.

I had a rough week, and the best thing I could have done for myself was to just be a little kinder to myself - a little bit more patient. So - this is just a reminder for anyone who struggles to do so, please give yourself grace. You're carrying something awfully heavy every single day - you're doing more than enough. 🩷

My dad died 2 months ago and i didn't feel anything for awhile. We spread his ashes yesterday and now I have been finally crying and crying and crying. I feel so heavy and it's hard to do basic life things and at this point maybe his death seems like old news to people around me but right now is when I'm having a really hard time. How do people move through grief and live with grief and honor those we have lost but also keep going ourselves?