Average Day at Malfoy Manor

[u/LongjumpingCorgi9855]

Bellatrix: So, the Potter boy said something interesting at Department of Mysteries...

Voldy: What, Bella.

Bellatrix: He mentioned you were a half-blood.

Voldy: Come now, Bella... Must we do this right now?

Bellatrix: I was under the impression that our infamous Dark Lord was a pureblood.

Narcissa (sensing the imminent argument): Draco, dearest, would you grab Mommy a bottle of wine?

Bellatrix: Good thing Lucius is out of the house, always hogs the bloody wine...

Narcissa: DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MY HUSBAND-

(A three-way argument ensues.)

Draco: ...I'll grab the rack.

[u/zbeezle]

Bella referring to Lucius's incarceration as being "out of the house."

[u/LongjumpingCorgi9855 → u/zbeezle]

Listen- I made this half-asleep, I tried 😭

[u/zbeezle → u/LongjumpingCorgi9855]

No no, that's actually perfect. It's a combination of her seeing incarceration as normal and a casual dismissal of Malfoy family issues. It's very Bellatrix.

[u/LongjumpingCorgi9855 → u/zbeezle]

:)

[u/Sammy-TheDarkLord]

Lol amusing 🤣🤣

I guess this only happens in normal evenings good thing we aren't here to see Voldy, Nagini and Bella's threesome with Rodolphus watching.....

[u/Cowslayer369 → u/Sammy-TheDarkLord]

I keep screaming, but God doesn't hear me

[u/Worldly_Team_7441 → u/Cowslayer369]

He can't over the sound of the popcorn he's shoveling into his mouth, laughing at us.

[u/MonCappy → u/Cowslayer369]

He can't when he's as fictional as the cast of Harry Potter.

[u/OnlineDipshit99 → u/MonCappy]

The cast aren't fictional, only the characters they play

[u/SendMePicsOfMILFS]

Real Housewives of Hogsmeade

[u/LongjumpingCorgi9855 → u/SendMePicsOfMILFS]

OMG YES.

[u/MonCappy]

Voldemort: Narcissa, in Bella's defense he really does hoard most of the wine for himself.

Narcissa: *Hisses*

Voldemort: Language, Narcissa! How dare you be so obscene to use language that would make the raunchiest sailors and porn stars blush!

Narcissa: *Blinks* What did I say?

Voldemort: Nothing at all appropriate for polite company or suitable to be repeated.

[u/ForsakenMoon13 → u/MonCappy]

Voldemort: also, where the fuck did you even learn that? Neither Nagini nor I use such language and I know you haven't interacted with Potter.

[u/LongjumpingCorgi9855 → u/MonCappy]

This is beautiful. Thank you for this great art.

[u/callmesalticidae]

Voldemort openly discussed his Muggle father in the graveyard; he isn’t trying to hide it.