r/JUSTNOMIL • u/DoodlePops22 • 6d ago

Advice Wanted Children's Book Recommendations for Narcissistic Grandparents

And when I say "narcissistic", I don't mean it as a medical diagnosis. I mean it in the sense of extreme entitlement, delusions of being worthy of special treatment for no reason, lack of regard for the feelings and rights of others, lack of remorse, and hostility whenever confronted.

We are low-contact with JNMIL. LO is 3 years old. We already got a book about body boundaries, but I want books on all facets of narc behavior. I'm only learning myself in therapy and adult books. I was basically raised to be a low self-esteem people pleaser, which JNMIL exploited.

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u/MsMaeLei 6d ago

My MIL watched it with us and told my daughter she felt like she was Mirabel...the quirky one misunderstood and unappreciated by her family.

In reality, she is 100% the super judge-y, obsessed with how things 'look', and pushing her family to conform to her ideas of who we 'should' be.

My daughter, 13 at the time, pulled me aside later and whispered to me "Why does Grandma think she is Mirabel? She bosses everyone around and gets mad when things aren't the way she likes."

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u/Rain12Bow 6d ago

You’ve done a great job raising a teen who can identify this!

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u/MsMaeLei 6d ago

Yeah kiddo is now 16 and my younger one is 13, they are BOTH very good at identifying other people's nonsense behavior...and getting an adult so we can deal with it.

My inlaws are all from the American South and they have VERY strong ideas about what they see as disrespectful behavior from kids... Usually it's when my kids state and enforce boundaries or point out nonsense bs behavior.

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u/Rain12Bow 6d ago

Self-advocacy is the future!