Struggling to pick up my journal after a major trauma.

[u/restless_wonder]

I used to journal every single day and then a major trauma happened, I found my roommate passed away who i was very close to. I couldn’t pick up my journal after that. At first, it was like if I wrote it down it would finalize it. And then it got away from me, and now it’s been 3 years and I feel like I would have to play catch up with the last 3 years of my life and that just seems daunting. Anyone else or am I just odd? lol.

[u/PortaltoParis]

No, it's not just you. It is always harder to get back into journaling after a long dry spell, for exactly the reason you described about not being able to catch up with "everything". I've been there more than once myself. The way to break through it is to open it up and write one sentence. Your sentence would be, "I stopped writing in here three years ago because my roommate died." If you want  you can write another sentence after that, but at that point a lot of the paralytic force of the dry spell will be broken and you can write a page or two about how hard it is to even think about trying to relate all that has happened over that time.

Once you do, please make an update because I'm rooting for you and I'm now emotionally invested in you continuing on your journaling journey <3

[u/Professional_Ad1151]

You can try starting with a write up on your notes app. Then you can copy that into your journal, that way, you won't have to do physical labour and mental labour at the same time.

[u/_Internet_Hugs_]

Don't worry about trying to play catch-up. Just get a new book or a fresh page and start writing.

I've had a similar issue when big things happen, whether it's giving birth or dealing with major life upheavals. I tried doing the catch-up thing and it was so overwhelming that I didn't finish. Just picking up my journal and writing as if there was no gap was easier and helped me get back in the habit.

Your journal does not need to be an unbroken line, it can have all sorts of twists and gaps and still hold all its value.

[u/MeganJennifer_Art]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

You could start journaling from today, and wait to write about the 3 year gap until you're ready. Maybe you won't journal about the gap until next year, but at least then you'll have all the entries from now until then, and it'll only be 3 years to write about instead of 4 years.

This way, it's also easier to split it up into pieces; it might be easier to write about one month of 2022 at a time over the course of the next few years.

[u/FearlessGene7622]

Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's definitely not just you. I also stop journaling whenever I have stress/big life changes. Seems counter-intuitive since it should help in those situations but here we are. Losing someone is a huge life change so definitely understandable that it's been 3 years. For me resuming takes a huge amount of mental effort especially because I focus on the "catching up" part. I'm currently not Journaling since July because I moved house after being in the same rental for 8 years, (I'm a creature of habit) then my mum was admitted to hospital shortly after that. I'm trying to give myself grace and ease back into it but honestly, avoiding it is easier lol. I'm thinking of starting a "pen only" journal for stream of consciousness type Journaling because my usual is more of a creative space with stickers, ephemera, photos, memories etc and I don't have the capacity for any of that right now. maybe I don't want to remember where my head is at now too!? Here's hoping we can both start again soon! If you do, let me know how you did it! Take care :)

[u/Dangerous-Friend-498]

I’m very sorry for your loss.

This post though, could be a perfect first entry in a new journal :) no need to catch up.

[u/Valentijn101]

I’ve had periods of not writing. When i strt again it;s often something like.

It;s been a while since my last entry…..

Maybe you could do something like:” it;s been 3 years since my last entry. I stopped writing after my roommate passed away. A lot has happend since… maybe make i list of highlights. Or maybe just start with what happend today.

Good luck 😘

[u/euphoricjuicebox]

i have cptsd and i feel the same way. its so hard

[u/4AdamThirty]

I have this same issue. I feel like I have to document everything that has happened before today so that I can write about today. I just try to write what I feel like, knowing I can fill in gaps later.

As for journaling about your trauma, I don’t think you have to until you are ready. I have a trauma that is 20 years old that I still haven’t written about. I just read a comment on a different journaling thread that suggested writing hard topics as a fictional story. I am going to try that.

Good luck and very sorry for your loss!

[u/-ANERDYPIKACHUDRAWS]

It's not just you. I also experienced a major trauma a few years ago, in fact the event's anniversary is slowly approaching too, and for months I could not bring my self to write about what happened. It still affects me every day, to this day, as the event forced me to move to a completely different state. I didn't write about it until months later, and didn't really go into much detail about it, and I'm pretty sure I still haven't gone into detail about it. It was hard, but giving myself time to take a mental break from journaling was what I needed, and I slowly got back into it when I felt ok enough to start up again.

[u/Correct-Shelter7237]

I wrote about it. My sister-ln-law died it be four years ago . Checked on her at 5am, checked on her 6am and she was gone. Called 911 nothing they could do for her. We had the police all over the house. It wasn’t unexpected , we didn’t know that you have to have hospice involved. We were going to take her to emergency that day, that day never came for her.

[u/fightmydemonswithme]

I second writing what you wrote here in your journal

[u/MidwestWizard3]

Treat the three gap as a flashback- incorporating it into your daily writing and reflect on what you felt in that moment and now 3years later.

[u/alles_allerlei]

sometimes i just start a new book
and dont catch up
and sometimes i just make a "What happoend in the lastxy" and than make it just like sticky note sized kommends on some of the major stuff that happend like "have a boyfreind now" or "my favorit song now is xy" or "oh by the way i moved now to this city"
Like just a quick and easy recap so when i revisid the book maybe in 30 years or so i not only see the time gap between the entrys but also a quick "oh that happend while i was not journaling"
Or as already said just start a new book and give it a fresh start and maybe while getting back into journaling tackel here and there all the stuff that happend, like when i am thinking about one thing and be like "oh yeah ... well this and that happend and now i am thinking about it and ...."

I get that such a big timegab and loss can be intimidating and stuff so feel huged if you want