Beginner Writer – Looking for Overall Advice & Impressions on My Fantasy/Adventure Plot

[u/Tight-Ad2862]

Hey everyone 👋, I’m a beginner writer working on my first fantasy/adventure story. I already have chapter one written and I’ve got the bigger plans in mind, but I’d love some general advice and impressions. Basically, does the concept feel strong enough to keep readers hooked?

Here’s the plot setup:

The future looked bright—humanity at its peak, with peace and progress shaping the world. But on an ordinary day, the skies darkened, the ground shook, and reality itself fractured.

The first catastrophe didn’t just destroy Earth, it tore through dimensions. Ancient species that had survived for centuries faced the same chaos. And somehow, humanity became the unexpected beacon of hope—not because of strength, but because of their stubborn will to adapt and survive.

From this, the Yodhanas rose. Not just warriors, but creators and builders who refused to give in. Their trials ahead will decide if hope survives—or if all light will be extinguished forever.

I’m not looking for edits to the chapter itself right now, just overall feedback, advice, or even a “rate this setup” kind of response. Would this plot grab you as a reader? Any tips for presenting a world this big without overwhelming people?

Thanks in advance 🙏

[u/Tight-Ad2862 → u/[deleted]]

Well its true that this thing is indeed the chatgpt ai made but i didn't mean to say it that way but ofcourse u r right dude I should not depend on ai  for my MY OWN STORY so I will note it on my mind not to overdo wat i do and yep that's - I have been writing all things myself just asking chat gpt for it's grammer corrections and spelling corrections nothing else and I have a whole year of struggling and writing same chapter 1 overall and over again for a year and  just before 3 days ago I felt satisfied with the result but it's too true that exept being reader of multiple types of content and experience of 3+ years as fan got nothing else so for me everything is still new but the goal is set for me just way to reach it is wat I want to get in right direction and that's how and why I m right here and thx again for sharing such important words so I will redo now I will redo the post with my own raw words.

[u/Tight-Ad2862 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah really for me too becz it's ai made short version plot idea of my original plot 

[u/amoryhelsinki → u/Tight-Ad2862]

You would be better served sharing the actual first chapter. That's where hooking a reader truly happens and keeps them turning pages.

[u/SheepSheppard]

Not reading AI slop 

[u/zenisolinde]

Given that for me it is translated from another language, my comment may not be entirely adequate. But I agree with the other comments, it is clearly AI, therefore poorly written. So it’s difficult to say if we’re hooked in this case! the story of a divide between dimensions can be interesting (although the fact that humans "adapt" is a myth for me because they are more likely to want to adapt the world to them than the opposite but it is a myth that dies). If it's a presentation you can remove words that are cumbersome, like "in one way or another" which is not interesting. Or “of that” and therefore stop the AI ​​😏 Then I don't understand the relationship between humans and Yodhanas? The explanation seems contradictory to me and requires clarification. Finally, you are talking about a first disaster so it should be said that there are others to follow. So, I hope this helps you a little!

[u/AllTheFutures_Novel]

“Scribophile” is a good website I’ve used before. You get to comment feedback on other amateur writers then post your own stuff. Everything I posted on there came back with a lot of helpful, encouraging, constructive suggestions.

[Check out the magical realism thriller “All the Futures that Never Happened” from Jim Stallings and Oceaniacom Press. Available in paperback and ebook from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and your local bookstore.]