Location: Belgium
I'll try to summarize this as much as I can without giving too many details.
This is not my first job, but the first one I see as serious after graduating. I'm an ITer for a non profit that has a good 30-35 employees/interns and 200+ volunteers. On top of being the ITer for this many people, I'm also the office manager for 3 sites. 1 main site, another building that we're renovating, and a third I don't have to do much for because we just rent out places. (I get paid as a social worker btw, which is not a lot)
I worked 4 days a week, 3 supposedly for IT, 1 for office managing. When they hired me, I was relatively young and inexperienced, but my motivation to prove myself and for this specific organisation was immense.
They boast about how inclusive they are, they have these written out rules for stress prevention, deconnection, etc etc...
I started this job 2 years ago and quickly realised it wasn't as promised. To say it bluntly, I inherited a pile of shit. Nothing personal against the previous ITer, but it was clearly something that worked for HIM and wasn't properly prepared to hand over to someone else. (He is a sweetheart and helps anytime I ask though!)
Regardless, I really really tried so hard to make things work, and I was feeling a burnout approach rapidly.
I have multiple long term deadlines and a lot of short term ones. Yet every time I'm at the office I try to be bubbly and happy, regardless of my stress, and I jump to always help everyone with anything they need straight away. My colleagues absolutely adore me and the feeling is very mutual (hence why I'm very sad about all this).
A year into the job, after some personal struggles, the workload reached it's peak and I decide to tell my teamcoach in an official talk that I need something to change because I'm getting burnt out very fast.
Her approach was gaslighting and very non empathic and non sympathetic. The brunt of it is that she told me that I don't have too much work, that it's my approach that's bad. That I need to say no to people more often and basically rewrite everything the previous guy has done. I've always tried to be honest to her about how I'm doing mentally and at the end of the conversation, she says "You're probably gonna have to talk to your therapist about this huh." Which felt so rude personally, like she was looking down at me.
Initially I'm super shocked, because I thought I'd get some coaching, some help maybe, anything they've promised me, but no, I am told to work harder instead.
So I try to talk it out with her, because I do agree with what she says to an extent. Although I still firmly believed my job was no job for 1 person who works 4 days a week, I swallow it all and try to do my best even more.
So I kinda get the message, that she's not a safe person to voice my concerns to and she won't help me, but will make me feel worse.
As people, we do get along, and as a teamcoach, she did help me sometimes, which I greatly appreciated.
Months go by, I feel like I'm working on overdrive, I lose hair, I get severe back issues. At some point I get sick and am forced to stay home for 2 weeks. Something I've lowkey been craving, yet I hate it, I feel useless. So I talk to my therapist and we decide that instead of going into burnout and staying home, I'll follow a day therapy programme instead.
I get put on a waitinglist and a couple months later, I'm finally approved, and coincidentally, my teamcoach is on pregnancy leave so I'm honestly a bit glad I don't have to tell her.
I tell a replacement teamcoach, I tell HR, they're super encouraging, tell me they're proud of me and that I'm brave to go to therapy and want to get better in a lot of ways. I spend a week preparing all the info I can think of, so my colleagues can manage the most important tasks when I'm gone.
A couple months later, my teamcoach returns, finds out I'm gone and reaches out to me, I'm honestly quite scared but she seems understanding so we have some calls whilst I'm in therapy. She opens up about things, I encourage her to also cut down in howmuch she works a bit because she seems very overworked too. I think we're doing good.
The end of my therapy comes and I almost instantly go back to work, full of motivation again.
We're now 2 months into me having returned, due to local laws, I can't go straight back to 4 days a week, so I'm currently working 2.
The first 3 weeks I was back, she wasn't there, due to vacation and sickness, so not her fault. Whilst she's gone, I try my very best to make sense of all the puzzle pieces, I talk to colleagues, I really try hard but I'm a little lost as to which of my tasks have been done, what I'm supposed to do in 2 days instead of 4, etc...
I was also promised an external job coach, but (spoiler) after 2 months, nobody is here either. This also due to sickness and whatnot, so nobodies fault, but I need some guidance here.
I then have a meeting when she's back, and honestly everything is still vague but I'm trying to work with what I have.
We plan another meeting 2 weeks later where she helps me put my to do's in order, which I'm grateful for. And for 2 weeks, I finally feel like I found my footing, I'm still pretty much on my own, but I'm happy with the help I did receive and I'm killing these to do's, feeling proud of myself and all the work I've put in. Things are honestly looking up and I feel like I'm improving so much.
Fast forward to this week, I have a meeting with her. This is a bi yearly meeting to talk about my performances, but also an opportunity for me to tell her how I feel about the organisation and my coaching. (Similar to when she first spoke to me in a disrespectful way)
Instantly when the meeting starts, she lets me know this isn't a normal meeting, but a warning. And she proceeds to tell me that if I don't 'change' by December, I will get fired.
When I tell you I was baffled, it's an understatement.
I'm trying to keep this short but the conversation was filled with her bringing up how I was BEFORE my burn out. Claims I never described my time away as a burn out? Starts the conversation by saying she's legally allowed to do this, as she has checked with external organisations. Which to me is insane she even went that far.
She again, points many fingers my way, I accept some, give counter arguments to others, which she denies as well.
She tells me things like "the work you do could maybe be enough in a company with 4/5 ITers, but not here". Or when I explain to her that due to my autism I need a minute when plans change she says "you sure this is the job for you then?" Whilst this company prides themselves openly for being accomodating toward neurodivergency. And much more things like that. And when I tell her I haven't felt safe with her as my teamcoach, she acts like I stabbed her through the heart, saying it's unfair what I'm saying etc etc. (very ironic given how she's spoken to me)
Now I'm pissed, I feel incredibly disrespected. I've spend blood, sweat and tears trying to live up to her insane standards. But nothing I ever do feels good enough, the examples of me not being the right fit literally contradict eachother. (She'll say I need to think further than my job and try to improve the company, and then when I do research on something, she'll say I'm not prioritising the right things and this isn't part of my job...)
In the 2 years I've worked there, they've fired someone on the spot (when in their official documentation it says they can't do that, the employee needs a warning and a couple months to improve first), I've seen a handful of people go into burnout, I've seen others quit because they weren't respected enough and I've seen someone be fired after a burn out as well, though that was supposedly due to funding being cut.
In my gut, I feel that she wants to fire me right away, but is afraid to do so due to the backlash she would get from other colleagues. Because when I asked her on how I need to improve by December, she basically said I need to reach a certain standard. Meaning, it's nothing palpable, it only exists in her head.
I honestly just want to quit, I don't feel like they deserve me working there anymore. But I wanted to ask reddit if what she's doing is even legal???
Tldr: "boss" is threatening to fire me, right as I'm back from a burn out, what can I legally do?