The cure for male loneliness is feminism. Seriously.

[u/futuredebris]

https://makemenemotionalagain.substack.com/p/the-cure-for-male-loneliness-is-feminism

Curious your thoughts! I wrote about how the answer to male loneliness is caring, and how caring is really, really hard. Especially for those of us who’ve been socialized as men. We’ve been told that anything outside of going to work or optimizing ourselves by lifting weights, sitting in ice baths, and pounding creatine isn’t worth much. That caring for others isn’t a “productive” or “efficient” use of our time. That someone else will always end up doing it. That we’re not supposed to do it because women are naturally, biologically designed for it and we’re not (which is untrue). That if we do it, we’re less valuable, like a woman, less of a man. But showing up and caring is both good for other people and us. We have to do more of it.

[u/NotMyMainAccountAtAl → u/[deleted]]

I think we’ve got an implied quid pro quo in our heads about how relationships work in many cases. Like, I don’t think it’s common to say, “hey man, I helped you when you were mourning the loss of a relative, so now you have to help me paint this fence” or something similarly asinine— but I think that we do have a common, inherent idea that we need to “earn” emotional support or help in many relationships.

In the example above, it becomes “sure, I’m friends with these guys, but what have I done for them lately? I helped that guy fix a lawn mower two summers ago, but that’s really not much. I don’t think I’ve earned their emotional support. I hate to be the friend who only reaches out when he wants something from them.”

I dunno what sparked that idea in my head, and I dunno how to make it feel less valid (it’s not exactly the logic center of my brain that dictates it), but I’d like to.