The cure for male loneliness is feminism. Seriously.

[u/futuredebris]

https://makemenemotionalagain.substack.com/p/the-cure-for-male-loneliness-is-feminism

Curious your thoughts! I wrote about how the answer to male loneliness is caring, and how caring is really, really hard. Especially for those of us who’ve been socialized as men. We’ve been told that anything outside of going to work or optimizing ourselves by lifting weights, sitting in ice baths, and pounding creatine isn’t worth much. That caring for others isn’t a “productive” or “efficient” use of our time. That someone else will always end up doing it. That we’re not supposed to do it because women are naturally, biologically designed for it and we’re not (which is untrue). That if we do it, we’re less valuable, like a woman, less of a man. But showing up and caring is both good for other people and us. We have to do more of it.

[u/ShiroiTora]

Being a feminist does not make them immune to internalized misgony. Doesn’t make it ok. I would even encourage to gently call them out on it.

Can I ask what culture and how old you are? This may be a matter of ancedotes vs ancedotes but most feminists in my circle don’t believe in this (though expectations and preferences are different) but know feminists from more conservative cultures struggle with this more (saying from experience).

[u/BBOY6814 → u/ShiroiTora]

I have gently questioned them about it, and the conversation always ends with “those are just my preferences!”

I’m in my mid 20s in Canada. The cultures they have come from have been varied, but all were 2nd or 3rd generation immigrants or more. Tbh, I’ve learned to look at what people do instead of what they say. The inconsistency often becomes less surprising that way.

[u/ShiroiTora → u/BBOY6814]

  “those are just my preferences!”

but the expectation is still there

So are they expectations of how men should act, or are they what type of partner they prefer?  Expectations on how a man or woman should are different from what someone may prefer in a partner. This goes both ways. A man can be feminist but still prefer more passive or feminine. Preferences to some degree are based on an individual and that can be fine. Its when they mistreat or belittle those who do not fit the conventional norm.

[u/HeftyIncident7003 → u/ShiroiTora]

I share these same thoughts.

[u/maafna → u/ShiroiTora]

I think a lot of feminists don't believe this rationally, so we don't even notice if we repeat these things subtly and unconsciously.