r/Mindfulness • u/InternationalArt9524 • 2d ago
Question Transforming to a new life using mindfulness - post colossal life events
Previous life - Mindfulness has been important in my life. I have practiced it on and off for 10 plus years. I used it to quit smoking and never smoked again. I practice Vipassana and it helped me deal with some major personal health issues in past.
Current life - Now I find myself widowed - young - unexpectedly - after being married to the love of my life. I had everything that I ever needed or I ever wanted. I am not able to be mindful at all. I can't even switch off the TV for longer than 10 minutes.
Question - I know I need to face my loss slowly and gently - how can I develop my mindfulness again? Has anyone gone through a major loss - lost themselves and then began practising again? I know this is the answer - I just don't know where to begin.
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u/cotoapp25 1d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. It makes sense that mindfulness feels impossible right now as grief pulls us out of the present and into what we’ve lost. To start your journey with mindfulness again, maybe just start small and instead of longer sits- try noticing just three breaths or feeling your feet on the ground for a few seconds. Maybe start small. Instead of long sits, try noticing just three breaths, or feeling your feet on the ground for a few seconds. These tiny moments of awareness can gently reintroduce mindfulness without forcing it. There are also guides who offer personalized meditations for grief, where the focus isn’t on “fixing” but simply holding space for what you’re going through. Sometimes that kind of gentle support helps when it feels too heavy to practice alone.
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u/Jessibrowny 1d ago
Loss makes the mind cling to distractions (like the TV). Simply noticing that, without judging yourself, is already a form of mindfulness. Self kindness is the first step back.
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u/InternationalArt9524 22h ago
I took the advice - and did one 10 min mindfulness meditation today - small step
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u/Kkhanna7 12h ago
Seek help. Speak to your loved ones. Its really hard to do that especially after a loss of your partner. Always remember things get better. Try and be positive. Its hard in these times but you have to take care of yourself.
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u/bphelan111 2d ago
You have been very fortunate to have arrived so fully to your life. You can arrive to it again. This lack of mindfulness is an evasion of the present moment and what lies in it -- the emotional pain of your grief. It is very natural to experience this evasion in the wake of loss. In order to reclaim your presence, you must gently allow yourself to feel it fully, to arrive to what is present in this moment. Grief is a form of love, a love for something no longer physically present, and it is asking you to feel fully and deeply. That is the doorway back into mindfulness and back into the rich unfolding tapestry of your life.