r/Mindfulness • u/Infinity_here • 1d ago
Insight Are You a Prisoner of Your Past?
The other day at work, I noticed a colleague looking really upset. When I asked if she was okay, she burst into tears and told me how her mother-in-law had made her life miserable in the past.
When I asked if they were still living together, she said, “No, we moved out almost a year ago. In fact, she even called this morning to wish me on my anniversary.”
That’s when it struck me, the suffering wasn’t happening anymore, but she was still reliving it every single day. The past had a stronger grip on her than the present.
I shared a piece of Sadhguru’s wisdom with her for better clarity,
“What is past cannot be fixed. What is now can only be experienced. What is next can be created.”
She fell silent, then quietly asked, “But how do I actually let go? Is there any tool or way to forgive and move on?”
I shared how meditation & mental hygiene helped me break free from my own compulsive habit of replaying the past. It hasn’t made me perfect (I’m still very much a work in progress), but it’s given me the ability to be present, to live life as it unfolds instead of being trapped in old stories.
And it makes me wonder… how many of us are unknowingly prisoners of our own past? How many are still trying to “think their way” out of stress without realizing there might be another way?
Are You Still a Prisoner of Your Past Or Did You Find Your Way Out?
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u/Jessibrowny 21h ago
What you shared really hit me. The past only lives in our minds, and even realizing that truth is already a big step toward living in the present.
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u/Infinity_here 20h ago
Yeah I see the impact of "living in the past" in my father's case. He's suffering from Parkinson's. We must work on ourselves when we can... before it gets too difficult to handle 😑.
True the realization is a stepping stone...
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u/CampingGeek2002 15h ago
I think because the emotions are so strong from thinking of the past it feels real in the present.
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u/Holly1010Frey 22h ago
I feel its more so people running from the pain of their past until it runs them down and beats the shit out of them and then they get up and start running again think 'well that sucked dont want to do that again,' but its just an inevitable cycle.
You can't just run from your feelings until something triggers them and they come out one way or another. You have to sit and think on them, how they made you feel, how they make you currently feel, why they made you feel that way then and feel that way now.
You can't just 'let go' of trauma , but you can process it and move on from it. Some people never let themselves feel the pain in the moment and its still there unacknowledged and now years later you feel like it shouldn't be as bad because 'time heals all wounds' but you never gave it time, you sealed it in a box and let it fester.
Most people have to get the initial feeling of emotions out of the way, which is often very intense and disconcerting, and you get little sympathy from others because it was 'years ago.' Its also not usually fast, people will bottle emotions up for years and then expect one emotional outburst with barely any conscious thought put into it and think they are good.
Moving on from trauma is almost like losing weight. It took you years to build up that trauma it won't all be gone in 1 good day. Moving on requires consistent effort day to day with up and downs, but hopefully, it will be an overall linear improvement. Moving on can take years and years where your also having to deal with current trauma from current life.
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u/Infinity_here 21h ago edited 14h ago
Absolutely 💯 Infact though you said it metaphorically, I actually did lose a lot of weight initially due to stress. It was only when I realized that my mind wasn't helping me, but simply prolonging the loops, that I gave yoga a try!
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u/mrbbrj 1d ago
Everyone is
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u/Holly1010Frey 21h ago
I mean, im not. If anything, I'm a student of my past. My past doesn't trap me but tells me about myself. My past is me in its truest sense. it's my emotions, my memories, my real life reactions, just because sometimes it hurts me, doesn't make it bad, or a prison, building muscle also hurts but it is making me stronger. My past is both my best and my worst.
My past is not my enemy or my warden!
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u/Infinity_here 13h ago
Absolutely the past is precious for all the lessons it gives us. That experience is of immense importance if we don't keep repeating old mistakes & remember the lesson. 💯
But how do you maintain this awareness if not through meditation?
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u/Glittering-Sun4193 14h ago
Meditation doesn’t undo all the pain. It just makes me realize how much of the untreated pain has given rise to my negative self talk. The pain becomes a part of my mental frame.
Mindfulness needs to go hand in hand with therapy or journaling to fully help the person feel the emotions and let go of past pain.
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u/Infinity_here 13h ago
Absolutely 💯. Meditation creates a distance between the mind muck and you. And helps you take conscious action... Journaling helps you reflect on your progress / regress.
We meditate helps us become aware ... and see that we can use lessons learnt from the past to create a better future. Just sharing basis my experience.
Pain is mind created. Meditation & Mindfulness ... mental hygiene in general help you break free from the pain. I think we're on the same page. But you're wording it differently.
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u/Glittering-Sun4193 13h ago
I think I disagree with the notion that pain is mind created. There are pain that are mind created like ruminating, unnecessary negative self talk. However, saying my painful childhood trauma is mind created is a little dismissive. In your friend’s case, her psyche is just trying to make sense of the past pain.
I mean isn’t therapy just replaying the past by sharing it to a therapist? Replaying the past is necessary to release the pain and feel the emotions. But excessive rumination is harmful, and being mindful can put an end to that but it doesn’t make the pain disappear.
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u/Thefuzy 1d ago
Our experiences shape us… not exactly insightful.