r/Miserable_Ad5573 • u/Miserable-Ad-5573 • 6d ago

Respect Thread Rumble: The Sawblade Tournament

Not sure how to start this so I'll just get to the point, this is an idea I've been wanting to do for a while but didn't really act on since there either wouldn't be much variety or just be a massive stomp for one character or I just had my room filled with other rumbles that I simply wanted to do more and or are just more interesting.

However this time around I feel like neither is the case, so after asking what some people to be some of my best threads for this tourmament style rumble, I've combined the answers into 7 different 1v1s and out all of all the chosen 14 we'll be seeing who is the last one standing in the end, I put the initial 1v1s together based on what seemed the most fair and interesting ans appropriate for each one, I also wasn't quite sure what to call it besides well, what you see is the title.

Regardless, this was honestly a pretty fun rumble to make and I hope it's entertaining for whoever reads through the whole thing, enjoy!

1. Abomination vs Bi-Beast

For this fight we'll make it so that the Hulk from the 2008 game is equal in stats to the one from the 2008 movie, just to make this fight less complicated than it needs to be. And the fight takes place in Times Square.

Strength

Blonsky:

Bi-Beast:

Conclusion:

  • Striking: To be completely honest I think this one is equal, Bi-Beast has feats of sending Hulk away and off the ground with casual strikes, Blonksy did the same with a double legged kick while being bloodlusted (since both him and Hulk pretty much were the whole fight) which is pretty good but honestly not super far off what Bi-Beast did casually, so for this I honestly think Striking could be considered equal with maybe a slight edge to Blonsky. But it's very close so I'll just say it's equal since honestly if Bi-Beast put more effort into his attacks I could see him replicating this feat.
  • Lifting/Throwing: This goes to Blonsky without a doubt, Bi-Beast's feat isn't bad but compared to Blonsky tossing a car with ease, it's clear Blonksy has the advantage here.
  • Pushing/Pulling: Blonsky by default.

(5/1)

Durability/Endurance

Blonsky:

Bi-Beast:

Conclusion:

(6/2)

Speed/Agility

Blonsky:

Bi-Beast:

Conclusion:

  • Travel: Blonksy, no doubt about it.
  • Combat: This one I think goes to Bi-Beast, although not by too much since they have pretty comparable feats tbh although Bi-Beast just has more and onces I think are better so this goes to him but not by too much.
  • Reaction: Like Combat, this one is pretty close and I'm honestly still unsure as I type this as I've been going back and forth on it but I feel like it goes to Blonsky but not by much and I think an argument could legitimately be made it is equal but unlike striking, I'll just be giving it to Blonsky.
  • Agility: This goes to Blonksy, jumping to a helicopter is drastically better than jumping a little high in the air.

(7/3)

Intelligence/Skill

Blonsky:

Bi-Beast:

Conclusion:

  • Intelligence/Skill: Bi-Beast by default, he's pretty good with technology seeing as how he made that giant mind control device by himself and knows how to control it, which is drastically better than anything we've seen Blonsky do.
  • Combat: I'll give each a point here, my reasoning is that Bi-Beast is actually fairly accurate with his lightning and has some decent h2h skills based on how he uses that little combo, however Blonksy seems to adapt much better based on how he has used the environment to his advantage a few times (while also being accurate at throwing objects), on top of this he also has pretended like he's weak and about to lose to gain the upper hand. Blonsky also has decent h2h as well and uses his bones to stab or slash at an opponent if needed., so all of this combined I'm giving Blonsky one point and Bi-Beast two points. Bi-Beast gets his first one since he is more accurate and just generally has better range, and Blonsky is getting one since he adapts better usually by using the environment to his advantage or sometimes his body, and I'm also giving Bi-Beast extra point since honestly I think they're about equal in h2h but with a slight edge to Bi-Beast.

(8/7)

Abilities

Blonsky:

Bi-Beast:

Conclusion:

Bi-Beast, more and more versatile ones that are better too.

(8/8)

Equipment

Blonsky:

  • None.

Bi-Beast:

Conclusion:

No explanation needed, it's Bi-Beast.

(8/9)

Results:

Honestly this is an incredibly (pun intended) close fight that can go either way, even if it started ranged (which gives Bi-Beast a decent advantage early on) or starts in close quarters (which gives a decent advantage to Blonsky early on) the fight will still be really close. So that being said I'm honestly mostly unsure who wins myself but if it goes h2h I think it could legitimate be either that wins but narrowly, Blonsky might be significantly stronger (with the exception of striking) and generally quicker. But Bi-Beast will be very hard to put down on, and on top of all that they are honestly pretty similar in reactions with Bi-Beast taking an advantage in combat speed, so based on those two things Blonsky might actually be the slower one in this fight ever so slightly. But even then its still very close since if it becomes just a slugfest then I think Blonsky might win narrowly, purely because of his endurance and just how savage he is, combined with bones he had a decent chance of just purely outlasting Bi-Beast through stabbing him and throwing trucks and stuff at him, which could potentially serve as a way to counter Bi-Beast's range advantage since something like a truck could likely block it a bit like a shield and Bi-Beast would have to worry about dodging or blocking it which wouldn't be a problem but still would help Blonsky a bit here. But at the same time, like I said Bi-Beast is legitimately a bit quicker here all things considered and has better h2h so he can certainly handle Blonsky in h2h and ranged given his lightning, his durability would also probably be a bit of a life saver here since he's way more durable than Blonsky is which is probably the main thing that will be helping him here imo because it's gonna take a lot for Blonsky to do some meaningful damage, let alone put him down.

Overall, after an extremely close fight I think Bi-Beast wins 5/10 times. It can legitimately be argued either wins but I think Bi-Beast does with extreme difficulty, he can arguably handle Blonsky in h2h if necessary (but like narrowly, or maybe you could argue Blonsky beats him in h2h which is also extremely likely) and has better and more ranged options. Either way, I won't lie it's very likely Blonsky could barely win too and be incredibly fatigued in wounded. But I ultimately think Bi-Beast wins here narrowly with a lot of damage.

2. Tuco vs Zhanna

Fight takes place in an mma octagon.

Strength

Tuco:

Zhanna:

Conclusion:

  • Striking: This goes to Zhanna, no explanation needed.
  • Lifting/Throwing: Tuco only has one lifting feat which is pretty alright, it's not that great. Zhanna's lifting feat is way better but Tuco has a lot of good throwing feats so they'll each be getting a point.
  • Pushing/Pulling: I'll just say it's equal, the feats for both suck here. Zhanna's might seem impressive but she did it with another person and it was an Australian, and Australians at this point in time were much weaker than the average person.

(3/4)

Durability/Endurance

Tuco:

Zhanna:

Conclusion:

  • Durability: This goes to Tuco by a lot, since like I said previously Australians at this time were weaker than an average person, the one exception was Saxton Hale and that's because he's Saxton Hale.
  • Endurance: I'll say this point is equal, Zhanna has a higher pain tolerance but Tuco has survived more severe wounds.

(5/5)

Speed/Agility

Tuco:

Zhanna:

Conclusion:

This one goes to the Salamanca, since honestly I think TFC Demoman just kinda fuckin sucks really, since unlike his boss (Heavy) Demo does pretty much nothing than dies, Jesse at least has notable speed feats so for that I'll give this to Tuco.

(6/5)

Intelligence/Skill

Tuco:

Zhanna:

Conclusion:

  • Intelligence: Neither is really all that smart but I'll give this to Tuco, mainly since he's at least bilingual, which better than just "oh hey, I'm gonna attach a shovel to my hand"
  • Skill: All jokes aside, Zhanna is pretty much featless here so it goes to Tuco.
  • Combat: Now this one I will actually give to Zhanna, and I think it's self explanatory as to why honestly.

(8/6)

Abilities

Tuco:

Zhanna:

Conclusion:

Equal (this part is just a joke and won't actually matter here).

(9/7)

Results:

Despite how close the points are I feel like Tuco gets hit once and dies tbh, especially if it's in the face and neither are that quick honestly so I don't see him just avoiding multiple punches or something. Zhanna wins 8/10 times, only say 8 since I think Tuco still has a decent chance.

3. Deathstroke vs Engineer

Fight takes place here.

Strength

Slade:

Dell:

Conclusion:

  • Striking: Honestly I think they're comparable but I'd say it goes to Slade by a bit, it's not very far off though. Slade shattered a wooden door into little pieces by jumping through it and Engie turned that wooden cutout into dust with a pretty casually kick, so but Slade has the Superwoman scaling, but on the other hand Engie can kill any of the mercs with the guitar smash, including Heavy. So honestly all things considered I'll just say it's equal.
  • Lifting/Throwing: Dell by default.
  • Pushing/Pulling: Slade by default.

(3/3)

Durability/Endurance

Slade:

Dell:

Conclusion:

  • Durability, mainly bc I can't think of any Superwoman feats that this version has for the life of me and Sniper is a lot stronger than you'd expect. I'll give this to Dell for tanking a punch to the face from Sniper. Although this is probably wrong and I will admit that.
  • Endurance: No explanation needed, it's Slade and it ain't even close.

(4/4)

Speed/Agility

Slade:

Dell

Conclusion:

Both go to Slade, Dell's combat speed feats is really good but I don't see it helping much here besides how quick he could pull a trigger which again is good but Slade's is just better honestly. For Agility, Dell just has better feats and leaps farther, although thinking now Dell's agility feat also is a decent reaction feat so I will give him a point for that.

(6/5)

Intelligence/Skill

Slade:

Dell:

Conclusion:

  • Intelligence/Skill: Goes to Dell by default, and pretty drastically too like it's not even remotely comparable Dell is legitmate genius and is significantly smarter than Medic imo since he can build things way more advanced than what we have no despife bding in the 60s and does it all by himself pretty casually, on top of this he has a great dexterous in a lot of different things, one of which (specifically with the lasso) would probably be very helpful here.
  • Combat: I'll give both a point here, my reason is that Slade has much better melee combat when he actually wants to, the problem is he never truly does since he's always screwing around which leads to him being Incapacitated like 4 times in the book iirc, but when he actually wants to he is very skilled snd adapted incredibly quick but since he normally isn't that does bring him down a peg. I'm giving Dell a point here since he's incredibly skilled with firearms and honestly I would argue adapts better more often than not because he always takes things like this seriously as opposed to Slade who is just messing around most the time.

(7/8)

Abilities

Slade:

Dell:

None. (Yes some weapons give him extra things but he just has the stock weapons in this fight.)

Conclusion:

Slade, no explanation needed.

(8/8)

Equipment

Slade:

Dell:

Buildings

Conclusion:

Dell takes this one by a lot, the only advantage Slade has is he arguably has better melee weapons, but Dell's wrench actually has some feats and he also uses it better, Slade doesn't really have any feats of using his sword with any finesse, or using it at all really. So for all those reasons combined I'll give Dell two points, one is for having better and more on hand equipment, the other is for his buildings as not only do they pack a lot of firepower, they heal him, give him ammo, and will help him teleport around to avoid the quicker mercenary here.

(8/10)

Results:

I feel like Dell wins 8.5/10 times. In strict h2h he's having a hard time and probably loses more often than not, but I doubt it will ever come to that, the true is that since it doesn't take much to incapacitate Slade for a bit, I honestly think Dell could Incapacitate him for a bit with a shotgun then builds a dispenser and Sentry, even at level 1 it will hold him off for a while and Dell will keep progressively upgrading it to where it gets to Level 3, once it reaches there it shoots it's rockets at Slade which blow him to bits and then Dell would win with little difficulty, Slade has a solid regeneration yes but the main thing is we don't see it pushed that far or it's limits and he's never healed from something even close to being blown to tiny pieces by multiple rockets so once that happen he will either just flat out be dead or just be a talking head that can't really do anything now meaning he's permanently Incapacitated. We've seen him heal when he directly reaches a limb manually but we've never seen him heal from something this destructive or even heal back a full missing limb without already attaching it to himself again, I honestly think Slade wouldn't even be able to get that close to Dell if Dell really wanted it tbh. The only reason I don't make this a 10/10 win is if Slade is somehow able to avoid the gunfire (which I doubt since even Scouts can't) or he can heal back from the explosions (which is theoretically possible I suppose but highly unlikely.)

Ran out of room, tourmament is continued here.

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