r/SS13 • u/King_Of_Tangerines • 1d ago
Story Thread What is the most incompetent player you have encountered?
We all goof up sometimes, and Nanotrasen isn't too hard on unskilled workers. But what is the most accident-prone, reckless, incompetent player you have encounered in a round of SS13?
39
u/Altslial "Security, the clown is interviewing C4 again" 1d ago
I somewhat remember a miner that fell into the same pit outside of the lavaland mining base three times. We had to fish him out, fix his bones and de-husk him after each one. After the second time either him or someone else even put up safety lights around the pit in hopes of stopping it, it didn't.
38
u/Magenta_king Encino Moth| Crystal Keep Host 1d ago
This moth named Mint or whatever was one of my shipmates on Shiptest. I had taken some lavaland eggs and was roleplaying slaver- introducing the ash kobolds to civilization and space farer life. After a while, some other kobolds came and tried to kidnap them, and I had captured them. After a while I threw them off my ship and was off with it.
Would you believe that Mint kept letting them onto the ship and uncuffing them whenever I wrangled them and throwing them off my ship? I kept telling them "they're an active danger to us, and they're going to kill one of us eventually, stop letting them on our ship."
On the third time, I captured them, and halfway onto dropping them off, she let them free, and then they got me in the cockpit and put my head on a spear. Worst of all, she had the audacity to say they didn't think they'd kill me and that it was unintentional.
26
7
-5
u/NoProgressEver 19h ago
rps a slaver and is upset when someone doesnt rock with that and lets them free
29
u/Lost_Needleworker676 1d ago
Yesterday I forgot that the cargo door had been hacked to deliver a lethal shock… twice in a row. They literally fixed me up in med, I walked back to cargo and tried the same door again. I’d say I’m the most incompetent player that game
30
u/Kahzootoh 1d ago
Head Of Personnel decided not to do their job due to revs being active, told everyone lined up outside to get lost and threatened them with a gun (there were a lot of people waiting in line) and then called in security when people started smashing the HoP's office- it caused a mass mutiny.
Security was ineffective - there were only two or three officers, not enough to handle a violent crowd of 10+ people- and they got beaten to death (one or two got dragged to maint and was never found to be cloned) and stripped of their IDs and gear.
From there, the mutiny spread across the station as people began demanding the HoP be fired and replaced or else sabotage would continue- power lines were cut, disposal pipes were re-routed to dump trash and troublemakers into sensitive locations, IEDs were placed in maint shafts and used to breach secure areas, and security checkpoints were raided for radio headsets and security's radio channel was bombarded with abuse.
The old "de-brainwashing" technique of smacking people around was ineffective when 75% of the people arrested by Security weren't revs at all. People arrested by sec would lie when questioned who was the head rev, which led to Security making heavy handed raids on various departments that only stoked further anger among people trying to do their job and stay out of the fracas.
Sec was getting overwhelmed and captain told them to permabrig troublemakers- leading them to put 10+ people in there. Apparently one of them was a rev who wasn't checked, and they had a flash; leading to a mass coversion in perma.
Someone dragged a plasma tank outside of the brig and used it to set a massive fire, which burned down the front of the brig and ruined its cells. Engineering tried to rebuild a wall and some doors, but at this point there was only one or two security officers and the warden still working- a rev with a stolen ID disguised as a sec officer walked to the perma brig and opened the door, letting all the revs in there out.
They overran the warden and beat him to crit before cuffing him and stealing his ID, then they stormed the armory and armed themselves. From there, most of the revs went a hunt for the remaining heads while a few others decided to hold a mock trial and execution in the courtroom for the warden. Bounties were offered for remaining security officers- one was found in engineering with the Captain, who got away. The sec officer was taken to court for their trial, which was broadcast over the radio.
Eventually the singularity got loose- possibly released by the Captain to kill revs- and a lot of people died. The Captain and RD had infinite E-Guns and hardsuits- they basically worked their way through the exposed remains of the station, killing anyone who didn't "come to their senses" after being beaten with a club. Eventually the last head rev died due to space exposure and the Heads of Staff won, although the station was literally in pieces.
3
u/Instantkarma64 1d ago
Honestly it sounds like most of the station was self antaing
16
u/katethetroubled 1d ago
players when faced whit an interesting roleplay scenario where the crew starts to muttiny and join the revs whitout the need for brainwashing due to poor leadership:
I SPILLED MY JUICE MODS!!
13
24
u/overusedamongusjoke Unknown hits Urist McSpaceman with the user flair! 1d ago edited 1d ago
I've had people walk directly over my corpse multiple times without noticing before. Frustrating but everyone has stupid moments in this game.
I've also seen security officers flashbang themselves at least once.
A more unique story: One time during a xenomorph event I was watching the Emergency Response Team as a ghost, a clown named Abuseo the Mute wearing half a xenomorph costume jumped out of a locker at one of them and got shot. Not really incompetence on the ERT's part since that was the reaction the clown was aiming for, but funny.
43
u/ShadowAssassin 1d ago
I messed up when setting up the singulo and it got loose a few minutes into the shift.
That was earlier today.
2
19
u/Thorn-of-your-side 1d ago
So I was playing a janitor when I met a janiborg and never felt more useless
5
16
u/MadDucksofDoom 1d ago
OP, I don't know what you expected, but you're about to get a whole lot of people pointed at their own incompetence.
This is SS13, we're all incompetent. I've been here for decades and I can tell you that I still forget one little thing here or there and die in a fireball. That's the way SS13 is supposed to go.
11
u/August_Bebel 1d ago edited 1d ago
Admins sent a custom engine goal. We had no CE or captain. HoS became captain and I became CE. He showed me orders to test the new engine. It was a tesla but with some kind of reinforced walls contraption around it. I consulted with the department and engi borgs and we turn it on.
Tesla starts eating the walls, causing a lot of noise and the crew starts to panic screaming that tesla is out. Shuttle was called. I personally checked that it wasn't. Shuttle was recalled.
5 minutes later tesla did actually broke loose and shuttle is on a cooldown. Crew is screaming, blaming me. 10 minutes later shuttle is called again, station in shambles. I do make it to the shuttle, where HoS shows me a set of elaborate instructions from CentComm on how to fire the engine without making it break loose he "didn't notice" before.
9
u/dragonace11 Mutagen + Mercury pill Labeled Meth 1d ago
There was this once chemist that kept trying to make mannitol and despite many warnings, they did not mix in hydrogen last. They melted their face off 5 seperate times before they finally made mannitol without their face melting off.
6
u/buddy-bun-dem 1d ago
The first example that comes to mind is the scientist who sent an activated heatsurge artifact with no warning while I was grabbing a requisition from Medbay.
8
u/yugiohhero 1d ago
when i was starting off i accidentally lost my ID some how while changing outfits as the chaplain and i didn't know i could ask for a new one so i broke my window and spaced myself hoping i'd find an escape route
i did not
7
u/SierraAR 1d ago
My first ss13 round i put a paper bag on my head and couldnt figure out how to take it off.
5
u/GogurtFiend 1d ago
When all other answers fail, there's always John McUrist the E1 Rifleman who accidentally unzips the squad's WS from crotch to noggin with a third of a magazine of 10x24mm AP
5
u/Knees0ck 1d ago
The time I activated a ketamine bomb 5 minutes into round start. Got all 3 of us in Sci. That shit acted fast af & locked you in. We uh, activated it a few more times for fun after that. It managed to survive till shift end too where it got activated again. Quietest shuttle ride ever.
4
u/Ok-Distribution395 1d ago
I was a virologist on a Russian SS13 server, it was my second time, and I decided to make the best good virus I can, after about half an hour of RNG, I did it, I asked CMO, who seemed to not know anything about virology because he instantly approved it (big mistake), and even better, it was nukies, so my virus would be very useful for seccies! But... Here's the problem, one of the virus effects has a side effect, during first 3 stages of the virus, you get confused, and with 50% chance walk in random direction and not the one you pressed, and because my virus all positive effects, first 3 stages took about 20 minutes to end... And, if you didn't forget, it was nukies, so uhh, almost all seccies took my pill, went to the battle, and got the confusion, and started screaming on me in radio, I took a very, very long smoke break, and then got shot by nukies
5
u/SidePsychological233 1d ago
This is bee a few years ago. A bunch of people died to something. Total medical noob is in the cloning room. There’s a line of people waiting to be cloned. They spent like 20-30 minutes attempting to clone an ipc before giving up. I think a random doctor went by and cloned everyone else
4
u/HodegetriaManto 21h ago
long while i was checking genpop as HoS and i saw gazillion amounts of junks (not exaggerating) inmates fished from a pond they made. flabbergasted, i ordered them to clean it away immediately. since there was a bonfire laying conveniently near that piles of junks, i told them to throw them in that fire and burn em all. of course, that wouldn’t actually discard the item, but i didn’t know that. But turns out, there was a battery in that piles of junks, which happened to reaction violently when exposed to fire. i didn’t know that and throw that battery in fire, and shit exploded. whole genpop was gone, inmates blown to pieces. i survived though, thanks to robust HoS trench coat. but at the end i got demoted by CC for manslaugther.
3
u/cowboycomando54 1d ago
Corporate shot me with a disciplinary BSA after I faxed them a spam message as the QM.
3
3
3
u/Treejeig Hooked disposal up to the SM chamber. 1d ago
Certainly a new player issue but when you're told you can use a screwdriver to start hacking things, and are then given an abandonded crate with a lock that needs hacking I assumed a screwdriver would be fine.
It wouldn't have been so bad if it didn't manage to catch robotic's fuel tank in the blast and end up with a minor spacing of science.
3
u/TenebrisTortune 1d ago
Myself. Granted I literally tried to play my second game ever and picked capellan cause why not. Admin for some reason decided to make me wizard. And when I saw buttons appear not knowing what they do I casted fireball breaching hull and killing myself in process. Needless to say chat was laughing at me and how I exploded my church like this right at the beginning of round
2
3
u/Vegetable_Love764 SS13 Reformed Addict 11h ago
Me. I disregarded the SM as an engineer and built a super cannon that shoots around 100 spears, 500 shards, probably 1500 pipes. Let's just say the admin wasn't super happy about that.
1
1
56
u/DependentOdd5525 1d ago
One time I dellaminated the SM 5 mins into te round start lmao